ILOVEMALI   37,261
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Stress Update

Saturday, July 26, 2014

I'm working 12-hour-plus days (even without J#2), so I haven't had much time to Sparkabout, but know I'm thinking about you all. Thanks for relaxation music, notes, comments. I appreciate it! Still 1 1/2 pounds from goal, so I haven't "lost it" --

Nothing much has changed at the office. I hired Rochelle's heart daughter as our new file clerk (and she won't take any S**t off of anyone!) and she's started her training. Everyone is behind, because two of the staff took their vacation at the same time (wasn't our office manager supposed to deal with that?) and the technology demon struck again. But I went into work for a few hours before J#2 today and got some more stuff done, am hoping to get things squared away as much as it can ever be squared away...

I've got to say that I feel better overall since I decided to retire. 2 1/2 years? Piece of cake. $$? Who needs $$? The plan is to turn J#2 into J#1 -- the difference between Social Security at 62 and at 65 for me is a 20 hpw job at J#2.

Highlight of the week -- a note out of the blue from a former client, thanking me for doing a good job in her case.

Wedding tomorrow -- my son's brother-in-law is getting married (OMG. The Boy is a Married Man with a Brother-in-law!!!). It's been 100 + here, and the wedding is near Santa Cruz, where it should be beautiful.

See -- I'm thinking good thoughts! xoxoxo thanks again, Pals!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHEBESS 7/28/2014 12:46AM

    Enjoy the wedding! And you'll be retired before you know it!!!

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AURORADAWN5 7/27/2014 8:54PM

    After all those 12 hour days, 20 hours a week will feel like nothing.

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DALID414 7/27/2014 10:04AM

    emoticon and happy thoughts

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1CRAZYDOG 7/27/2014 9:21AM

    ((((HUGS)))) Uh boy. Glad you have a file clerk with a "take no guff" attitude. So needed sometimes!

Glad you have some future plans that give you peace! That's what it's all about.


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SHOOPETTE 7/27/2014 7:44AM

    Aww that's really nice of your client, and so rare!

You are so rght to retire, enjoy life at its fullest!

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DSJB9999 7/27/2014 2:24AM

    Hope you enjoy the wedding.

Great to have a a THANK YOU from a client, nice to be appreciated professionally! emoticon

I think the retiring early sounds like an EXCELLENT idea, there is more to life than money!

love and emoticon Donna x

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living in the dark

Saturday, July 19, 2014

We got back from our trip on June 15, and it's been dark since I walked into the office on the 16th. My legal assistant (I had a descriptor here, but Spark wouldn't let me post my blog with it, so fill in your own blank here) started in on how much she hates my partner and it's gone downhill since then. I thought that I had things relatively under control, but then DH (who works with me) had a spat with our file clerk (who told him "no" when he asked her for help) and she left a couple of weeks earlier than her planned job change. Add to that about 10 days without internet (with a business that relies on internet for about 80% of our work) and about 5 work hours without phones, and add to that a resounding NO when I asked the above-referenced MS-D to train our new file clerk, and add to that 70-hour weeks because I am being over-booked (yet another undermining stab) and stick a fork in me.

Don't suggest that I fire her. She'll ultimately leave, but I need her to give up the institutional knowledge that she has been hoarding first. She is professionally immature, even after 20 years with us. This is what happens in a small business that behaves more like a family.

Job #2 had been scheduling me Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday after I got back until I asked that they knock it off so I could have one day off a week, thank you. I worked the entire July 4th weekend. Double-edged sword -- I like working there and am not at all planning to leave, but I'm tired.

Then, I've been in court a lot with Bad Judge. Enough said. We all hate him.

Our "other wife" moved to Albuquerque, and we miss her terribly.

The moments of light have been intermittent, thank goodness. We've seen The Newlyweds a couple of times, and The Girl returned from Paris on Wednesday. I was down within a half-pound of my Ultimate Goal one day, and have been up a pound-and-a-half/down a pound-and-a-half ever since, so I'm almost there. I haven't been able to do much walking because I've been working so much, and I haven't been tracking at all, but I've learned enough to keep things relatively under control.

I've decided to retire from my office in 2 1/2 years (when I hit 62), assuming that we still have a business then. I am resolved. I don't want this unpleasant life anymore. I can pick up as many hours at J#2 that I want while I figure the rest out. I told this to a dear friend of mine at J#2 last night, and he was both happy and relieved, because he's been watching me these past weeks and has (apparently) been a little worried about me.

Shiniest parts have been my SP pals (you know who you are) who have noticed and noted my absence and check in to make sure that I'm ok. I treasure you and thank you for taking such good care of me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HICKOK-HALEY 7/26/2014 8:24PM

    I agree, retire when you can. It isn't worth the hassle. Hang in there! emoticon

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FANGFACEKITTY 7/25/2014 12:38AM

    emoticon save us from the professionally immature toxic people in our lives! They are vampires, sucking all the joy and life out of us.

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PHEBESS 7/24/2014 3:20AM

    Ugh, sounds rough! Hang in there, it will improve. Slowly, but it will.

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DALID414 7/19/2014 7:48PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EDDYMEESE 7/19/2014 3:49PM


Sometimes it feels like all we have for ourselves is the breath we take in between the chaos! Here's to all of the crazy going away very, very soon!

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AURORADAWN5 7/19/2014 2:47PM

    Its amazing how theraputic having a definite plan and target for retirement can be when you work a stressful job. My DH and I both work government jobs that are very high pressure and can be really demoralizing. We recently took a pre-retirement course and actually sat down and figured out the math. Turns our we can probably both retire in the fall of 2016 (I'm actually thinking January 2017 for me although he may go a couple of months sooner.
Hang in there. Immature and unhappy staff can be really toxic. You know bets what your business needs, I but I have to wonderwhether the corporate knowledge you're hoping to recover from your assistant will actually be worth what it's costing you. What's she likely to tell her replacement?
Anyway, sorry conditions since you got back from Europe have been so unsettled. Must make you wish you were still there.

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MARILYNROBERT 7/19/2014 2:25PM

    I think it's very good that you know you are going to retire from Job # 1 in 2 1/2 years. That gives you a light at the end of the tunnel for that stress and will make it more doable. That endless stress can do you in so glad there will be an end to it eventually. emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 7/19/2014 2:06PM

    OH boy. STRESS multiplied. **SIGH** Sorry!


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ELRIDDICK 7/19/2014 1:29PM

  Thanks for sharing

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UMBILICAL 7/19/2014 1:28PM

  Be the light

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There's no place like home

Friday, June 20, 2014

This week has been totally putrid at work.

Got back from vacation and got hit upside the head with more of the same from the staff, who just will not settle in and let my new business partner settle in.

Then it went downhill.


I work Sa and Sun nights at J#2. Some day, I'll have a chance to upload the trip photos and post a few. Maybe take a little head trip pack and get away from the crap here --

Thanks all for your checking in with me during my silence this past week!!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSB8604 6/22/2014 12:36PM

    Try to relax and do something for YOU.

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DSJB9999 6/21/2014 4:35PM

    Take care of you and remember how peaceful and lovely your holiday was!

Take care of you.

love and hugs Donna x emoticon emoticon

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AURORADAWN5 6/21/2014 2:33PM

    Sorry things are still rough at work. Since you and the new partner are getting along, maybe it's time to sit everybody down and employ a little tough love. Tell them the new partner is there to stay and that it's time they all either grew up and accepted it or moved on to somewhere else. I realize good paralegal staff are important, but the colleges turn out a whole new crop every year. so good paralegals (and receptionists and secretaries) are available. Good partners - not so much.
Enjoy the weekend and good luck.
Remember - to paraphrase the great Humphry Bogart "you'll always have Paris".

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1CRAZYDOG 6/21/2014 10:01AM

    ((((HUGS)))) Putrid . . . that never is good. So sorry your staffers are being a little immature (well, trying to be at least sort of charitable here. . . undeserved though it may be!) Wish I had a sure-fire solution. **SIGH** I can only think your partner must feel putrid also.

Just know you're thought of and hope a solution is crafted. Dealing with people is sometimes frustrating.

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DALID414 6/21/2014 1:21AM

    Le sigh

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ILOVEMALI 6/20/2014 11:59PM

    They resent the fact that he is not my former business partner, who retired. It wouldn't matter who took the spot. It has been terrible.

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PHEBESS 6/20/2014 11:38PM

    Maybe it's time to have a staff retreat? Take a day to do some team building exercises? (Do they just resent the fact that he's a man, or new, or is it his personality?)

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Wake-up dream

Sunday, June 15, 2014

My wake-up dream this morning was that a client fired me. My brain doesn't want to go home.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSB8604 6/20/2014 5:12PM

    Lordy! HA!

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PHEBESS 6/19/2014 12:17AM

    LOL - time to retire? Become a voluntary nomad? Like some people you know?

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DIBANANA 6/17/2014 4:10PM

  You must have had a great time!

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HICKOK-HALEY 6/16/2014 7:40PM

    What a dream. Take a mini vacation in a few months. emoticon

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AURORADAWN5 6/15/2014 2:13PM

    emoticon The end of vacation sucks.

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DALID414 6/15/2014 11:38AM

    Your brain and your entire being I'm sure.

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1CRAZYDOG 6/15/2014 8:19AM

    OH no!!!!!!!!!!!!

Travel safely and just think positive thoughts. My mind does all kinds of things like that when I'm NO wanting change. I can only IMAGINE the million and one reasons for not wanting to leave such a beautiful place! **SIGH**


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SHOOTINGSTAR12 6/15/2014 6:25AM


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JANET552 6/15/2014 6:22AM

    I don't blame you!!

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19,848 steps

Saturday, June 14, 2014

10.1 miles. Got in all of my exercise minute goal this week.

Yesterday's highlight was the play, The Commitments -- one of our favorite movies is The Commitments, and the play was super.

We leave for home tomorrow morning. What a fabulous trip. We both got some bucket list items in. We didn't fight, and, in fact, the only time that I was snappish was when it was too hot and humid and my blood sugar dropped all at the same time.

I've wanted to go to Spain since I was 15. We've been planning for this trip financially and otherwise for years. It was wonderful.

See you all when I get back! xoxo

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHEBESS 6/19/2014 12:18AM

    So happy you had this wonderful trip!!!!!!

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MARILYNROBERT 6/18/2014 12:48AM

    emoticon step count emoticon

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MISSB8604 6/15/2014 10:43AM

    I am so glad you have a great time, you certainly deserve it!

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DSJB9999 6/15/2014 3:13AM

    So glad you have had a wonderful time, enjoy your last day and wishing you a super journey home.


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DALID414 6/15/2014 1:10AM

    Awe, it felt like it flew by!

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1CRAZYDOG 6/14/2014 8:50PM

    So glad you had such a wonderful time! Have a safe trip back.

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AURORADAWN5 6/14/2014 6:27PM

    So glad you had a good trip.

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FITWITHIN 6/14/2014 6:04PM

    emoticon job! emoticon Keep emoticon .

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