Honoring those who have tried ...

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Balance is vital in all aspects of life.

Without living the Day,
the night comes hard.
Without living the night,
Dead is the day.

Without one you cannot have the other. Without sadness how could you know the joy of happiness, without heartache how would you know the height of love, without the struggles how would you know the bliss of contentment.

Without being overweight, how could we understand the emotional ups and downs of others trying to lose weight and regain their health. I have been there and I have climbed the same mountain. I am almost to the top and I want to offer my hand to anyone who needs a boost up. Losing weight is not for the faint hearted. Anyone who has had the strength to lose weight should be respected and honored - even those who try, try and try again. It's HARD to sacrifice while others around you are indulging.

The best of luck ... peace and tranquility be yours.

You are doing it ... you are losing weight and gaining health. You are re-enforcing all your good habits every time you do them again. Give yourself the respect you not only deserve but have earned ... through blood, sweat and tears.

Keep it up ... you are beautiful AND mighty!

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EVIL GOODIE DEMONS

Monday, December 28, 2009

Don't let the Evil Goodie Demons talk you into being naughty. Hold your ground. They are clever - those little demons - they will put the sweet smell in your nostrils and plant the idea in your head "I must have some", it's all trickery ... they love having you under their spell. You need to tell them "NO, you have no power over me" and they will blow away, like dust in a storm. The Evil Goodie Demons will be no more.

Stand your ground Ladies ... don't let those Evil Goodie Demons possess your will. They are clever and extremely manipulative ... They are lurking every where ... be careful and prepare for sneak attacks. SOMETIMES they take on disguises - like well meaning co-workers putting mouth watering fudge on your desk.

They hang out in your favorite places and they know where you are going. The only place the Demons get me is my Mom's house. I think that may be their headquarters.

My sword is very sharp and I am anxious to slay the Evil Goodie Demons when they come my way. They have NO power over me.


The Evil Goodie Demons were waiting in ambush at my Mom's house ... I was relentlessly attacked. I fought hard and long. It was a grand battle. They implanted lustful thoughts of sugary decadence, of writhing in ecstasy with the sweetest explosions of pure bliss on my tongue, with the promise of heavenly confection. I was weak, they beat me down, they tortured me to the point of giving in ... I indulged in a sinful orgy of sweets.

I have regained my composure and I am strong - They have no power over me, once again.

I hope the Evil Goodie Demons don't find YOU this holiday season.

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Eating our emotions ...

Friday, December 11, 2009

A couple traumatic things happened when I was a teen, I let them overtake my life. I withdraw completely. At first I started losing weight ... I wanted to disappear. I couldn't stand being in my own skin. Then I went into complete denial ... I wouldn't even acknowledge anything had happened (I never told anyone). I denied it for 10 years. When my daughter's father walked out on me (at 2 weeks pregnant) ... I completely withdrew again, everything came back. I was absolutely certain I could never trust another man. For 8 years ... I had nothing to do with anyone. I gained 80 pounds and then some more. It was really OK ... I wasn't getting so much attention and I could relax a little - I focused on being the best Mom possible. But after 8 years I was morbidly obese and having chest pains. It was time to be healthy, as I started losing weight - the attention started building. Every time a man told me I was beautiful, gorgeous or sexy ... all I wanted to do was run in the kitchen and eat everything I could until I was numb. It took everything I had in me - not to.

I still cringe at sexual advances from men. I don't need them drooling over me to know I am a worthy human being. I will never let another man influence the way I feel about myself.

If this helps anyone to conquer their personal demons, it is worth all of my tears.

I am healthy now and I will be around for a very long time.

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I am DONE with 97 pounds ...

Thursday, December 10, 2009

I can't even believe I have lost 97 pounds. It doesn't seem real. I know how much that is, but getting my mind around the fact that I have done it MYSELF ... no gym ... no trainer.


I look at my before picture and get emotional, tears come to my eyes. I am relieved I no longer feel as miserable as I was then. That 250 pound version of me was so unhappy. I hated myself for over-indulging, for binging with no end in sight. I hated myself for hating myself. I bottled up my feelings and tucked them away ... I hid from the world for a few years, I never wanted to be seen. I was embarrassed and ashamed.



I am posting this blog... because I want to remember and I never want to feel that way again.

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Restructuring my workouts ...

Sunday, December 06, 2009

I have been stuck at 155 for a while now. I am doing everything right or so I thought. I think perhaps I am over exercising. I workout 6-7 days a week and burn 1000+ calories per workout.

I am going to try for the rest of the month to workout 3 Xs a week ... still my hardcore 1000+ burn ... and see if that helps. I haven't worked out just 3 days a week in over a year. This might just be the change I need.

149 is my goal this month. I am willing to try just about anything

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