JANEDOE12345   70,434
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JANEDOE12345's Recent Blog Entries

Seven Years

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Well, it's seven years with Spark as of tomorrow. What have I gained, aside from at least 30 pounds? Sorry I just don't see much. Lots of online friends are the only thing I have really followed through on. The rest of it, the teams and points and knowing all about healthy weight loss --well, I don't think it ever sank in.

So I am grateful for my seven years of friends and my completely useless accumulation of 68, 753 points. But the rest of it? I never worked hard enough and never got much out of it. Lately it is just not helping. I think I will go have a Good Humor bar. Toasted Almond Crunch.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEADSBAY 10/9/2014 10:36PM

    Well, you better get cracking, as my dear old father-in-law always says.
What are you waiting for?
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MCJULIEO 10/7/2014 11:51PM

   

And I'll bet that, if you really think about it, that you have gained a lot more than you think (I'm talking about good things, like community, and good recipes, and words of encouragement, and never-give-up, never-give-up, never-give-up)...

Hang in there!!!! You KNOW that we're rooting for you.........

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ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 10/2/2014 12:06PM

    I hope you do not quit. I hope that you can reboot Spark People to work better for you. Perhaps you can join just one team and pay attention to it with care--whether it be a challenge team, a meal plan team, or an exercise team: I have found that it helps to keep a rather narrow focus here and to work on what I really need---regular exercise and clean eating.

There are a lot of things about the site that are not wonderful, but the concept--if you can find one or two feasible concepts that you can stick with--helps me a lot. emoticon

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BONNIEMARGAY 9/28/2014 4:27PM

    It is such a blessing to make connections that are related to your highest values, even when you find yourself struggling to make any measurable progress on your journey to make your life a reflection of those ideals.

All blessings to you on your anniversary, and with any path you choose!

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HIPPICHICK1 9/28/2014 8:25AM

    You get out off it what you put in, I say. If I never reduced my portions, got up to exercise or nixed a few things from my diet I would never have lost any weight either. But I get up every day with an exercise routine/schedule in mind, knowing what I can and will not eat any more, and I never, ever gave up on the notion that I could become healthier instead of living in my own personal hell of pain and suffering all because I weighed 120 lbs too much. I have never reached my goal of losing 120 lbs and maybe I never will, but the thing that keeps me rock steady is the knowledge that I've gained about food, how the human body works and how I work will keep me from wearing size 26 clothes again, becoming a type 2 diabetic like my mom, or complicating my life with more health issues than I care to deal with. No one ever got healthy by accident. There's no owner's manual for the human body, but if there were it might look at little like SP. Take out your owner's manual and instead of skimming it and tossing it aside, really read it this time, with the kind of love and care that you deserve. We love you, honey!!
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BETHGILLIGAN 9/28/2014 8:21AM

    I totally hear you and the frustration you feel. I had almost 4 years on this site with nothing but about a 15 pound weight gain and lots of dear friends. I was fed up. Then I went to nutritionist---who informed me (I already knew this) that my diet was fine (and it's not great by any stretch!) but I needed to double my exercise time if I was going to lose an ounce. I don't know why this time it stuck but it did. I've been faithful for about a month and have lost 3 pounds. Not a huge amount but enough to keep me motivated.
Your story may be totally different. You need to do what is right for you but make sure it is right for you and not an excuse. I do care about you and have enjoyed your friendship immensely. I would hate for you to leave but I've been right where you are and you need to make the choice that feels right for you right now. You can always change your mind. emoticon

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_UMAMI_ 9/27/2014 11:21PM

    So, you've put seven years of off-and-on-again effort into this and you are blaming......

YOU.

I'
m sorry, but it's true.

I lost, I gained, but this site has at LEAST helped me maintain and, *utmost*, helped me KEEP IN MIND that, if I IGNORE all of my mindless eating, drinking, and lack of exercising, I will be much worse-for-the-wear a few years (or umpteen) down the road. Because of SP, I make a greater effort to work out daily. I REALLY do!

Sorry for the wet-noodle lashing, but I'm kind of disappointed in you.
You can do better. (what happened? )

You have so many people here who LOVE you (me included). Yeah, we're *only* people you know online, but we've shared with you for YEARS.

Why this dis and this sense of giving up?
I think you are worth it, and I've seen you grow and thrive on this site.

So, what's up? Honestly, this seems like a fluke from you. I hope you're OK.

emoticon and don't mean to sound b-tchy----just seems unlike you.
and you DO have many who love you here. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!

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KNEEMAKER 9/27/2014 8:47PM

  Let's keep on keeping on! emoticon

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JANEDOE12345 9/27/2014 6:17PM

    I said I am grateful for my friends. Of course I enjoy them and benefit from knowing them. But that is really all I have gotten -- in the long, long run of seven years -- from this site. It's almost quittin' time.

Comment edited on: 9/27/2014 6:20:07 PM

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GOLFGMA 9/27/2014 5:19PM

    Hope you have at least enjoyed the friendships you've made.

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JAMBABY0 9/27/2014 5:18PM

    maybe you need to reset your mind, habits, health and take a look at some new goals or at least what your looking to get out of all this, good luck.

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Catching Up

Sunday, September 14, 2014

The start of school wears everyone out, yes? We who work at the school, the kids who have to get themselves back, even the groundskeepers...everyone has a few weeks of frenzied exhaustion before we sadly acknowledge that we are back in the routine and once again entrenched in academia for another year.

Thus starts my yearly battle with Seasonal Affective Disorder. The aptly-named winter blues creeps up on me as the days shorten, worsening as the winter clothes and blankets get unpacked. I am already maxed out on the anti-depressant I can take that works, so I wonder what method I will use to feel better for about six months. Bears have the right idea: eat a lot and take a long nap. I have the eating part mastered, lol, and I could get good at naps, too!



Speaking of God's cute creatures, the wasp nest is long gone. My son came down from Boston and dealt with it in the terminal sense. We had an excited afternoon when we found it still had some huge wasps lurking it, even after I had sprayed it four times.

He sprayed it very thoroughly, waited a bit, then battled it with a big stick, finally getting it onto the ground, where he buried it. Now there is a circular mark on the paint which is no problem compared to my fear and trembling at having the wasps dive-bombing every living creature within six months of my door. Gone but not forgotten.

I am still at it with the gym but only twice weekly for now. My energy level is much better. I also got back into making jewelry, but not to sell. Just a few things for myself. It is amazing how huge my stock of supplies for that hobby became--I could sell the supplies by the drawer-full.

Oh, and I made a set of curtains for my bathroom. Household hint: When you buy a shower curtain, buy two and use one to make the window curtain. My window takes a 72 inch curtain, impossible to find for bathrooms, so I have been doing this for 30 years of decorating. How do people who don't sew get along in their homes? Especially drape-aholics like me, who change them at least twice a year. I have a closet of just drapes, curtains & sheers. Really.

Other news? Let's see. While waiting for Game of Thrones to re-commence, I am watching Orphan Black and loving it. No movies lately, just TV. Lots of Kindle time, very little Very Best Friend time, lots of not much. It doesn't seem bland until I write it out, then I realize how mundane my daily life has gotten. Work? Fine. Health? Fine. Cats?...you get the picture.

So that's it for now. I am reading the blogs & status updates of my SP friends and hope everyone stays well. I pray for my friends as they need it and rejoice at their joys as they come along.

And now for a nice cuppa Tetley English blend tea to get the day started.










  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEADSBAY 10/9/2014 10:35PM

    I start my day with English breakfast tea, as well and do not miss the exhaustion of the beginning of the school year one tiny bit.
When we downsized I gave my sewing machine away and ! miss it so much!
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BONNIEMARGAY 9/14/2014 2:04PM

    Such a blessing that you KNOW that you are vulnerable.

Vigorous daily exercise can make even more of a difference than meds can, and practicing gratitude by listing your blessings can really help shift that depressive thinking around, no matter how automatic it feels.

Wishing you relief!

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_UMAMI_ 9/14/2014 12:40PM

    I have a cafe rod in the kitchen window over the sink---I just use clip hangers and change out the tea towel curtains---Voila! Quick seasonal change.
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I guess I'm lucky in that I get enough morning light, driving my kids (ONE HOUR every dang morning, longer in afternoon!) to school. Sometimes we even see rainbows.
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Glad to hear that you, the cats, and the homestead are well. Get that SAD taken care of! (do any supplements help? I occasionally take Vitamin D when we've had a spate of cloudy weather)


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JOANNANOW 9/14/2014 12:24PM

    I worked in an eye clinic for 17 years ...it was located in a mall and had no windows. I asked my employer to pay for full spectrum lighting above the front desk area where I was seated at my computer. It made a huge difference in my work life. It served the same purpose as a therapy light for SAD.
Here at home I have the same set up in the kitchen overhead light and at my art table so that I get the good light when I'm cooking and cleaning up. I have spent very little time at the art table but since this is the first winter of my retirement... I shall have to give it a try. I wonder if there is any chance for you to have overhead full spectrum lights in your work area? The tubes are way more expensive than the regular ones but being an eye doctor my boss was sympathetic to the health requirements of his staff. You sound upbeat not "bland" Hope you are having a lovely weekend. emoticon

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BETHGILLIGAN 9/14/2014 9:24AM

    I love the teapot!!! In the fall my life quickly slides into a rut! But, sometimes mundane is better than excitement and upheaval. Do you have a therapy light for your SAD? I've heard good things about them but have no experience. As a retired teacher, I do not miss the start of the school year. Way too much stress and confusion and work!!! I like sipping coffee in my jammies and watching the school buses go by!!
Hang in there with the gym. I think that will help with your mood also.
Glad the nest is gone. You don't have to worry about walking out your door now!!

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HIPPICHICK1 9/14/2014 8:47AM

    Groovy teapot! I love the stripes.
I can't believe that you have that many sets or window coverings. I have one set of curtain that I made for my living room windows when Val had her first serious boyfriend at the age of 18. She's now 24. I'm not changing them any time soon.
I very much believe the SAD can be caused, at least in part, by diet. As you may know I have been eating no sugar (like NONE!) for over a year and a half now. I have never felt better. I used to get really depressed in winter. I stopped eating sugar in Feb of 2013. My anxiety and depression slowly lifted. It wasn't an easy process getting sugar out of my life, but it was completely worth it. Take baby steps, as always. Make yourself your own experiment and see where it takes you!

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IDLETYME 9/14/2014 8:30AM

    Great blog! You've been very productive. Going back to school should feel like a rest now. Enjoy your weekend! emoticon


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Wasp Nest Update

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Are they gone? I am not quite sure. I gave the nest a good poison spray soaking at dusk twice and early in the morning twice. Each time there were fewer and fewer of them, little white-faced hornets or wasps or whatever the devil they are. Just checked early this morning and I saw no activity.

According to every man I work with, the nest should now be left alone for a week then scraped off the house. Then I will have to wire-brush the shakes as they leave a mess.

Funny, I got the sage advice of at least four guys and no one offered to come do the job---I must be getting old. Men used to love to come help out the helpless young divorced mother of two cute kids. I was a svelte size 8 (then10, then 12 and so on) and really knew how to wring my hands in distress. Poor little me.

How times have changed! My victimology no longer rules my life. Wasps? I can do it. Wire-brushing? Fixing broken stuff of all kinds? I can try and probably do most of it. I am no victim these days and take pride in keeping my life together.

Makes me wonder why I seem to stay a victim of size 2X.

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And this hornet incident also makes me aware that my weight really is not me. My inner self is confident and capable and worthy. That extra fat on me is just a souvenir of survival. It took all my attention for decades to get stable and calm and spiritually at ease, now it's time to work that fat off. Onward to the gym!

Wasps? Hornets? No, the real battle is with fat!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HIPPICHICK1 9/4/2014 2:52PM

    The battle hymn at the gym could be turned into an Ode to Joy instead. Approach yourself with love and respect and it won't seem as yukky as we often make it out to be. I promise.
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ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 8/31/2014 5:52PM

    You can do it! You can vanquish the waspers and the buggers.

2X is not the best place to be, but it's an honest place. I am down to an XL in my pants/leggings but my top stubbornly remains 3X and I purchased some clothing from a place that calls "3X" simply "2". It's a Jedi-mind trick, but I need it!

Best wishes!


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_UMAMI_ 8/30/2014 11:35PM

    I feel like I'm wearing that fat suit...that's not ME!! (cue Twilight Zone theme)

Oh, and speaking of flying bugs w/ stingers, our neighbor's tree fell over with a loud THUMP that shook the house at 5:30 a.m. this morning. I assumed it was our next-door-neighbor's dying tree, and that a limb hit their back garage, but later I found out a HUGE 80-year-old GORGEOUS red oak tree had toppled (and how I shall miss its colors this Fall).

Turns out it was filled with a bee hive! I hope the bees were able to be relocated, but I'm afraid they may have been killed.

Now I have to figure out how to get our trees trimmed with little-to-no money. One huge tree is directly over my kids' bedroom.
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I luff trees! I love bees! I don't wan't to kill them!

***
Back to the fat issue...I imagine if my fat were a boxing dummy, I'd be tackling it a lot more steadily. For someone who lives mostly in my brain, and not in front of a mirror, it's hard for me to tackle it as a "real" thing, KWIM? It's just surrounded by the "fuzziness" surrounding the clutter I need to clear, *all* the things I need to do on my list, and my general lack of time, especially now that I'm driving three hours a day or so to/from schools. Yep, you read that right.

Ok, I've run on too long. Good to hear from you, and you sound _goood_!

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BONNIEMARGAY 8/30/2014 1:53PM

    May we all find freedom from the fat suit we have been hiding in!

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JOANNANOW 8/30/2014 11:55AM

    Yes!!! emoticon

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MEADSBAY 8/30/2014 9:29AM

    You are very perceptive, Pam.
I have certainly been forced to be more self-reliant this summer since my dear man is incapacitated. It sux but I manage most things alright. Can you stop by and help me fix the upstairs toilet, though? emoticon
He has a surgery date...September 8 th.
Whew!
The end is near!
Have a nice long weekend.
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Wasp Nest!

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

This not pertinent to weight loss...Just another drama in my daily life...

I noticed this thing today and trust me, I am buying the long-range spray tomorrow and spraying it at night, then heading right into the house to hide! Yikes!





(Edited later...

Spoken with accent...I don't need no stinking exterminator!!

Lol, be aware that I have sprayed these things before and the keys are darkness, stealth and speed. The nest is only a few feet away from the porch door into the house, so I am confident I can do this. Sadly, it has its own beauty and I regret killing the animals. But, and this is a huge BUT - they will get me first. Such a hawklike attitude!)

  
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MAGGIEBONGO 8/30/2014 3:01AM

    Are they gone?

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BONNIEMARGAY 8/27/2014 1:40PM

    We're lucky we just have a few after the nectar and water with our bees, no nests!

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_UMAMI_ 8/26/2014 11:24PM

    Why do they always place themselves right by doors??

I'm not against them per se, but I hate having them right by the entrance of our house!

I hope, for your sake, they are GONE!
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MCFITZ2 8/26/2014 9:15PM

    Hornets. Usually are aggressive. My husband and his brother decided to explode a firecracker in one. At night. It blew it to pieces. I thought they were nuts. They light it and ran like ####. Laughing so hard they almost fell over. I suspect most of the white faced hornets survived, but the nest was gone and they moved on. Good luck.

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BETHGILLIGAN 8/26/2014 8:32PM

    Geez, that thing is big!! Run fast!!

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MEADSBAY 8/26/2014 7:13PM

    Aaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!
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SLOWANDSTEADY06 8/26/2014 6:58PM

    Wow! That is one impressive wasp's nest! Can't say I've every had anything that big at my house. Pretty gutsy of you to get rid of that monstrosity yourself!

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ANNEMARIE0407 8/26/2014 6:54PM

    Yikes!

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SUZYMOBILE 8/26/2014 6:51PM

    I'd be real careful. A truly ENORMOUS nest was found in a house in Florida someplace, which extended through the entire crawl space under the house, out into the yard, and around a chair in the yard. Record size and had to be exterminated. And, just like in the cartoons, when they get mad they do come swarming out like a big gun pointed at you. I'd hire an exterminator.

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AJB121299 8/26/2014 6:35PM

    yikes is right, that is pretty big

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Back to School & Metamucil

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

I work at a prep school and we started our meetings yesterday. I don't teach. I am the Head's exec. assistant, so I have to prepare and/or review all of the stuff that we do to set up the new year. And then take minutes on 5 days of meetings. Boy, it's a lot of detail and my mind is shot today, but I know consistency at the gym is important no matter how tired I get and Idragged in there after work.

It was very helpful in calming down two things: my state of mind and my sore back & chest. All the working out has awakened old issues in my shoulders due to the long inactive period since my surgeries and PT. My muscles are simply not understanding what I would like them to do, lol. Today I did not do any shoulder or back stuff but merely walked and biked, hoping to avoid losing my interest in the gym as it has been incredibly energizing for me to go. If it starts to hurt and Pam sort of fades out...not this time, I hope. Baby-ing my shoulders is only smart if I want to hang in there.

Nice Metamucil surprise package in the mail from Spark today! A huge box of stuff to test out and comment on. Not a problem at all, since I have IBS and have to take fiber supplements sometimes. I will switch to this brand and get back to Spark with my feedback. Very nice to get free stuff that you can use and to be useful to SP, too.

All is well. No word from DD, my boss seems to be okay and happier, car is fine, cats are fine and the weather is delightful. Gratitude all over the place from me!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MCJULIEO 8/27/2014 11:24PM

    Hang in there! You can DO this!

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HIPPICHICK1 8/23/2014 11:54AM

    I have upper back and shoulder pain and I recommend a massage. There are some things that aren't necessarily an indulgence and for me therapeutic massage therapy is one. Either that or a muscle relaxant and a shot of single malt scotch.
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BONNIEMARGAY 8/21/2014 1:28PM

    So many blessings!

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JOOLS7 8/21/2014 12:16PM

    Ah, the ole gym. I went to spin class this morning but could only do 30 mins, thought I was going to DIE! Did two 10 mins sessions on treadmill, more warming up and cooling down that anything.

I worked with my trainer last night for an hour so it was very difficult for me to go today.

Proud of you for going evne when you don't feel like it.

Keep up the good work.

Jools
:)

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BETHGILLIGAN 8/21/2014 7:50AM

    The beginning of the school year is THE WORST!!! Hated all those meetings, instructions, etc. At least I could work on other things but you HAVE to pay attention. How awful! emoticon So glad to hear you are hanging in there with the gym! It sounds like a good fit for you. I'm staying consistent with my little exercise routine and am at the point I need to kick it up a notch. Now that's a good feeling! Seeing progress!!!! Have a good week! The first one will soon be under your belt!! emoticon

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MAGGIEBONGO 8/21/2014 3:12AM

    OMG How I hate before-start-of-school meetings! They just play hell with my ADHD. I make up word games and play them but of course this is rude and unprofessional. I guess taking minutes might be better because your mind has to be engaged.
Pam, I hope we both have great years!
That just sent me off to nostalgia-land. Remember the smell of the good glue, the white kind you wanted to eat? And big fat pencils? And those totally cool pencil cases with the slidey lids like a rolltop desk! Gawd, now I'm all melancholy. I better get to bed.
Cheers!


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_UMAMI_ 8/21/2014 12:38AM

    I think I have come to believe in healthy bowels, healthy mindset, at least with my DH as the guinea pig. I think it was via SP that I learned that seratonin is stored in the bowels? (forgive me, I'm very tired, on the road, and in a hotel room with my familyl who are trying to sleep, so trying to wrap up my computer time!)

Anyway, I think I've become a believer in the mind-gut connection, especially as it relates to depression and serotonin. My mom (NOT depressed) also had a lot of issues, and ended up doing kind of a gluten-free, fermented-friendly diet per her doctor's orders, and now can eat bread or pasta occasionally and is fine.

There is something to it, definitely!
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So, I'll imagine you as your schools healthy internal flora.
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Comment edited on: 8/21/2014 12:39:39 AM

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MEADSBAY 8/20/2014 10:10PM

    We have had amazingly delightful weather, haven't we?
How do you get free stuff from spark?
What's up with your DD? I know it's a touchy situation.
I am enjoying playing with the TENS unit on my neck/upper shoulder area and hip area.
My dear man has tried it but does not seem to be that interested in it.
His pain is too much at this point to try something new.
Have a fabulous school year.
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AJB121299 8/20/2014 6:49PM

    nice

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SUZYMOBILE 8/20/2014 6:47PM

    What a blog title that was! Made me wonder about the connection between the two, but I guess it's obvious.

Hugs, my friend!

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