Friday, April 18, 2014
Last night I had to break out the prescription anti-inflammatory again and the muscle relaxant. I don't really like the muscle relaxant because it makes me feel all wibbly- wobbly but then I don't really like being in a lot of pain either. The nice thing about taking it before bed is that you get to sleep off most of it.
This morning my pain has gone down to about a 1. Since most of yesterday was an 8, this is particularly nice! So now, the big question is, do I take another muscle relaxant to help insure I stay like this? Or is it unnecessary and will just add fatigue and wibbly-wobbliness to my day? Does anyone have a crystal ball? A magic eight ball might help in a pinch. . . .
I have PT at 2:20 pm today. I'm writing out the time to help cement it in my mind because it is the one day when they've scheduled it a different time slot than my normal. That and it is twenty minutes into the hour instead of a nice round number. I'm feeling a bit scared about PT. Is it going to trigger more pain? Obviously that won't be their intent but you never know with this stupid body. And it is Friday so that means that once it's triggered I can't really get any help until Monday.
I changed my nutrition tracker to reflect the amount of exercise I'm doing. The theory is that the more exercise you do, the more calories you can eat (at least to maintain). The depressing truth is that for days like yesterday when I was too preoccupied with trying to breathe without too much pain, I didn't do much exercise even of the walking around type and so I was supposed to have a glass of water and a pea. But depressing or not, it may be the reason I'm not losing any weight at all and I suppose it's better to look at it in black and white. Of course the goal or the wish, really, is that I can get back to exercising at least semi vigorously and the trackers will reflect that.
And that leads me to a new segue - everyone from my doctor to my husband ask me, "What are you doing differently?" as if somehow I did something to go from being fairly active and pain free to suffering one setback after another. The answer - NOTHING! I'm shouting because when they ask me that, not only is it frustrating because I really am not doing anything differently, but because it makes me feel like they think I'm somehow to blame. I'm sure from their perspective that is not their intent at all - they are asking in the attempt to help. As if I had forgotten to ask myself that and just need the prompt in order to start doing the "right" thing. . . .
I've found a neat blog with links to a 90 day clean eating plan. I might try following that. The problem is that you really need a basic level of pain-free-ness in order to follow these plans. (Yes, I know that pain-free-ness is not a word but I can't think of one word that says that.) On really bad days I can't think because of the pain static and then even physically getting out the ingredients and putting them together can become overwhelming. On good days, it is a piece of cake (or whatever might be a good clean eating substitute).