Monday, April 21, 2014
I'm so disappointed with myself. I'm almost back upt o 170lbs. I worked so hard to get under 170 and now I'm heading back there again. I know it's the holidays but it's no excuse. I'm just full of excuses.
I'm going to see my life coach tomorrow for a little emergency session. She's good about keeping me focused. There's just so much going on in my life right now, so many changes that I havent' been able to focus on myself. I need to break thiss pattern so I can get back on track.
At least I've identified the problem and am making strides to overcome it. I'll get back on track soon. I promise.
I did run a 10 minute mile today. That was pretty cool :)
Monday, April 14, 2014
Inches are coming off all over my body, except my arms. My arms have never been attractive in my opinion. They've always been big, except when I was riding horses several times a week. i've been working on my arms lately and I've noticed more definition but I still feel uncomfortable in short sleeves. Like today, I'm wearing a shirt that is squeezing the crap out of my upper arms. It's annoying. I keep checking to make sure my bra straps are up and they are, it's just these pesky sleeves!
I want definition, but not the loose, sagging skin that comes along with that definition. Is this even possible without surgery?
Other than my arms, things have been going relatively well. NOw that the weather is cooperating I've been going outside to play with my son every chance I get. It's wonderful being so active. I'm not seeing much inthe way of weight loss though. i've hit a plateau which is slightly discouraging but I know I'll make it through. I'm still getting compliments on my weight loss on an almost daily rate so I know I'm doing something right.
I'm still running despite the time crunch I'm constantly finding myself under. My runs are more enjoyable now that they're really the only free-timee I get anymore. with my husband working nights, I come home from work and I have to be 100% there for matthew. I don't mind this at all, but I sometimes wish I could have my husband's help watching him at night, even if it's just 10 minutes while I take a shower. Percy had off last night so I was able to take a shower before 6pm. It was soooo nice and I made sure to tell Percy how much I appreciated that he watched Matthew while I took that time for myself.
I've been putting Matthew to bed at 8-8:30 and I've been staying up another hour just so I can have SOME time to myself. That hour is usually devoted to doing dishes or getting things ready for the next day. Sometimes I even have to cook because Matthew won't let me cook when I come home; he misses me and wants all of mommy's attention.
I'm not going to lie, I'm exhausted. I'm so looking forward to our trip in August. It's going to be sooo great.
Now I just have to get in shape for it ;)
Monday, March 31, 2014
I am in such a weird place right now. I'm feeling motivated but sluggish. I'm discouraged by my appearance today. I feel like a boy in my baggy jeans and flannel shirt. I'm still between sizes and feel like I'm getting bigger, but the scale has only gone up 1 or 2 pounds. Maybe it's the lingering winter blues or maybe it's because I'm getting close to my time of the month. I always get this way a week or so before, but I read in Runners Magazine that this is normal for female runners. Usually the week before our respiration levels are higher which can make us slower. That makes total sense and makes me feel a little less aweful about my state of being.
Saturday I woke up with some sort of lung infection. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest and squeezing my ribs every time I tried to take a breath. I have a history of pulmonary embolism so it was a little alarming, but after a 2 hour nap (thank you hubby for watch Matthew) and a good nights' sleep I felt 100% better on Sunday. AND then it started to snow. Gosh dang it when will Spring get her act together? They say it's going to be 60 degrees today but it was windy and bitter this morning so I don't know how it's going to get up that high. Hopefully I can get out there for a few miles though. That would be awesome. That's what I need, some nice fresh air to sooth my angst.
I've been looking for 10ks in my area but nothing is conveniently located or affordable. There's one at the end of May that looks like fun but it's almost $100. That's insane! There's another one that's flatter, and cheaper, but it's also 2 hours away and with a 2 year old that maybe hitting his limit.
Sorry, I don't mean to be miss negativity. I really do hate being this way. I'm going to try to overcome my hormone-induced doubt and say goodbye--more like, good ridance!--to March 2014 by going for a run in the park, followed by my TRX/KB class.
Thank you all for your support!
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Last night I had a dream that I was working as a mentor for at-risk youth. It was a beatiful spring or summer day and we were all outside having a picnic or something. Then, two of the kids began to fist fight, one of which was a young woman with an enormous about of rage and energy built up. I separated her from the pack and told her to run around the perimeter of the play fields to burn up that energy. She verbally fought me on it, telling me it was stupid, but I simply told her to "follow me." I began running. I looked over my shoulder to see her staring at me wide-eyed for a second and then she began to chase after me. I smiled and picked up the pace. I was so fit and agile. I was leaping over things and dodging people and trees. It felt wonderful and I looked amazing! And every once and awhile I'd look back to see if the young woman still followed. She did. By the end of the dream she was running with me, smiling, and then she kept going. I think some time had passed because she came back to me and said, "I won the State cross-county title this year all because of you." That's when I woke up.
I think this dream represents my state of mind over the last few weeks. I've been the young defiant woman, angry and bitter for reasons I can't pin down. But slowly, I'm leading myself out of that funk so I can eventually be everything I want to be and more! This dream helped me find that visual again. I think that has been a problem for me lately, I haven't been able to visualize myself at my goal weight for awhile.
If you haven't discovered it already, visualization is a key component to weight loss. If you lose the vision you lose perspective, you start to doubt yourself, and your motivation wanes.
I'm so glad to have my vision back! Here I come!
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