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Warrior? Or Non-Warrior?

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

This morning I dragged my sorry self that has been fighting a cold for the past 4 days, and has a migraine, to the gym for training. I got a half hour on the elliptical too, which totally kills my feet/ankles but I sucked it up and did it. Yesterday, I got 45 min. on the treadmill before hitting the pool for some laps. Not bad this week for a person who feels like I do!!! I just can't seem to get past this cold, and sleep doesn't seem to help either. I took 2 days off work this week so I could just slow down and not have to race to be at a school, and also catch up on a few projects around the house. I haven't gotten much done around here, and still feel stuffy and miserable...

But mentally, I feel amazingly good!!! I'm so proud of myself for pulling it together enough to go take care of myself. My eating wasn't very good last week, and it was my TOM, and then this cold hit Friday night. But this week I feel more in control, my eating is good (probably because nothing sounds good anyway so I'm just eating for fuel!) Hahaha, maybe I should just do that all the time. ;)

So do I feel like a warrior? Pfft, not really. I'm just doing all the stuff I usually do. But maybe, I really am one and I just don't know or realize it. My trainer tells me all the time how great I'm doing, but I'm really just doing the best I can and not doing anything especially extraordinary, in my opinion.

I admitted to her today, I'm really just not thinking about the mirror right now. I want my knees/feet to feel better, but I'm not hell-bent on being skinny/beautiful like her. I've had 5 children and have the stretch marks and extra pounds to prove it, but I'm not that interested in being in the 150's anymore. I'm a busy person and don't have hours to spend in a gym every day...and with all the kids/responsibilities I have, it's more realistic to have a little bit of baggage. And I'm okay with that. I'm doing all the right things and feeling good, and that's where my focus needs to be right now.

Yesterday I weighed and was UP 2 lbs...and was not happy about it. But it wasn't a game-changer, it just was there. I had some time to think about it and I really think that I'm dehydrated. My throat is scratchy and I haven't been drinking water and just been sticking to hot tea with honey. I think a nap today should get me around the corner with this. Here's hoping.

Finally, my trainer suggested to me that I might be a good candidate for a triathlon/duathlon. And I got to tell her that I've already done 3 triathlons. One of them earned me some hardware, too. So that was a pretty awesome feeling. Someday, I'll do another. Just not right now. Right now, I just need to take care of me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VICKYSBD 10/21/2014 8:10PM

    I am in the same boat as you--want my mobility to get better--most important thing to me right now. Sounds like you are in a good place mentally, and the cold will pass.

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OPTIMIST1948 10/21/2014 7:22PM

    Its hard to feel like a warrior when you are sick. But you'll get your mojo back eventually!

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Taking a Deep Breath

Saturday, October 11, 2014

This morning during training, we talked about all the things I want to do to regroup. My weight has stayed pretty much the same since I started training, and I know it's because I'm constantly obsessing about food and going overboard after doing maybe a little TOO good, so then I feel deprived and eat like crazy. So she is planning to figure out my calorie needs, and I'm planning to make a few tweaks that will help me get back on track.

1. I'm increasing my water. I'm supposed to be drinking more than I am, I'm not doing bad so I'm just adding another 20 oz. per day.

2. I'm going to really try and add a veggie serving at bfast. I already do it at lunch and dinner most days, but at bfast I have 2 fruits and no veggies. I'm thinking PB on celery, but I'm open to other ideas too. Please share if you have any! ;)

3. My knees are KILLING me, my feet are KILLING me. I walk around like I'm in my 80's, not my 40's. So I talked to her about taking Aleve and I just took my first dose a few hours ago. I've always used ibuprofen, but I would rather take a 12-hour drug than a 6-hour drug.

4. Recommit to 30 minutes of cardio every day. I've been slipping on the days I have to be at work early, and haven't been sleeping great. I just need to suck it up and go.

5. I can't log my food every day, and I need to accept that. I'm too busy, I'm working 3 jobs and running a household for a family of 7. It simply can't happen. So, my new goal is to shoot for logging my food 3X weekly.

That should be good for now. I'll keep you posted. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FORZACHANDMATT 10/12/2014 11:07AM

    Do you eat eggs? Because its pretty quick to scramble eggs with mushrooms and tomatoes - I eat that several times a week

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CONFUSEDBIRD 10/12/2014 8:37AM

    Be careful with taking alieve too often, it destroys your kidneys over time. My dad relied on it a lot at the end of his life for his knee pain because nothing else helped. It seems it may have caused more harm than good. I log most of my food when I am laying in bed at night trying to fall asleep.

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ROBBIEY 10/11/2014 7:31PM

  emoticon emoticon

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Not a Great Week...But Trying!

Thursday, October 02, 2014

It's been one of those weeks where I am questioning everything I'm doing and why I'm doing it. My food has been better, my exercise a little on the low side, but I'm doing my best in spite of being mentally exhausted. Every day this week, I have come home and pretty much collapsed before bedtime. Yesterday, I even had a good cry before taking a nap. :(

I've been working in the same middle school I student-taught in last year, and it is a rough school at times. There are a lot of kids whose parents are either working 2 jobs, on drugs, in prison, or otherwise not around. These kids have very good reasons why they act the way they do, and I know that. But going in there every day, having students treat you like dirt, and staying patient and gently reminding them what appropriate behavior is, is exhausting. And then teaching them a thing or two on top of it, *SIGH* some days it is truly a miracle that our students learn anything. The truly amazing thing to me is that alongside these at-risk kids are some really great kids too, and they all go to the same school together, yet the kids with no risk factors stay completely out of trouble in spite of their surroundings.

Anyway, last night after 3 days of no exercise, I could feel it eating away at my mood and I had another migraine that 800mg of ibuprofen wouldn't even take the edge off of. So this morning, I headed to the gym early at 4:30 and got some work done. I see my trainer again tomorrow and I'm starting to really look forward to our meetings. She pushes me hard, she is encouraging and kind, and she gives me a good stretch at the end of our sessions together. She regularly looks at my food log and gives me feedback, but never tells me how bad I suck when I put 3 granola bars on there in one day.

Today is a new day, and I have to work at that school again today. I hope I will have a good bunch of kids today.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CONFUSEDBIRD 10/9/2014 3:52PM

    Sounds like a rough period. Renee sounds great looking at your food and pushing you. Hang in there, still working on finding your groove and a place to settle in. You will find it things are just up in the air.

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Personal Training

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

I never considered myself the type to give in to personal training. It is expensive, and from what I've seen of it, it is basically some guy yelling at you to keep going. I'm pretty self-driven, so I don't really think it's necessary to hire someone to push me like that!

That said, I finally conceded to giving it a try, and today was my first session. I stuck with a female trainer, because the dudes at the gym are head-to-toe muscle and tattoos, and that's just really not me. So this gal, Renee, turns out to have a degree in nutrition too, and she drops her boys off with me in the gym's child care when she comes, and so I already know her a little bit. Today we spent about 45 minutes talking about my goals, what I can do, what I can't do with my foot injury, and how committed I want to be. Then she took me through a ST/cardio interval circuit that kicked my ass!!! Then, she accessed my #myfitnesspal account so she can see my food log, and she talked with me about what she wants me to do with it for next week.

I have the day off today, so it was easy for me to log all of my food for today, but working days I'm not so sure it will go the same way! But that's my goal for next week, is to log everything and not blow it off after lunchtime. And in the meantime, I told her I would have no problem getting my cardio in every day. And that's where things stand now.

I'm not sure how much it's going to cost, but I'm pretty sure I will no longer see a paycheck at Gold's Gym anymore, because I'll be signing it right back over to them! But I'm happy and excited, and looking forward to making some progress again. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENNYW73 9/22/2014 9:22PM

    I am really thinking of taking advantage of the "free session" they offer at the gym. The guy told me it's 30 min of nutrition, and 30 min of going through what kind of exercise I want to focus on. I'll let you know what happens. emoticon

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CONFUSEDBIRD 9/18/2014 8:36AM

    That is awesome! She is on the wall in the mancave too, quite a badass that Renee.

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PMRUNNER 9/17/2014 9:05PM

    Good luck with your progress!

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Getting Back to it

Friday, September 05, 2014

This past week, I've been working on getting my mojo back. I've been to the gym 4 days this week, marched in a Labor Day parade as a band mom watering thirsty kids, and eaten a lot better. I still had a dish of ice cream last night before bed, but my 4th grader got it for me and I taught him how much a serving is, so I didn't have too much. ;)

I'm starting to find ways to really like the gym again, and that's good!!! I was at the same gym for so long, it has been hard to get used to a different one. But I'm getting more used to it and liking the things it has that the student fitness center didn't. Like opening at 4am!!! Man I love when I get up at 3:30am and can't sleep, and I can just pack up my swimsuit and head out there. It's nice and quiet, I have the whole place to myself, and I don't even have to swipe my card because I work there and all the workers know me and they type me in when they see me coming.

I'm also playing around with my phone and last week I put Pandora on it so I can listen to music while I work out. I've had it on other phones, but this one I just forgot. Anyway, I put it on the other day and found that my 4th grader used my account without me knowing about it. There was this Star Wars station streaming on there, and I was like WTH??? But then as I listened, it was all this incredible orchestra/brass music in minor keys that kicked my ass. So I left it on and worked hard. Thanks, dude. ;)

This morning was more of a Motley Crue kind of morning, though.

I also started substitute teaching this week! I'm feeling so much more in control over my working life now, and that makes me so happy. I felt so low that I wasn't teaching in my OWN classroom like all my student-teaching classmates are now that we're all graduated. I know I could have my own room, yet here I am subbing. But it has been nothing short of AWESOME this week. I get called to work in a school, I accept or decline, and then I go follow someone else's sub plans for the day. The first day I was a special ed aide at the HS and we had the best day. I had about 10 kids and they had many disabilities, but what a great bunch of kids. You can tell they come from places that they are loved.

The next day, I worked at the same school I student-taught at, and when I got there for my assignment, I found out I was going to be with all the same kids I had last year. The entire day, every class period, a new batch of my kids would come down to my room, see me, and scream/hug and generally be excited to see me. What an amazing feeling!!!!!!

Then yesterday, after 3 days of the same migraine not letting me go, I told my husband "Enough". And I accepted no jobs yesterday or today. I rested, caught up on laundry/housework, and got rid of that nasty headache. If I was teaching in my own room this year, I would've had to suck it up and go to work. I'm feeling a lot better today. My husband is not happy with me; he was concerned when my headache was on its 3rd day, but he generally wants me to work as much as possible to help with the bills. But he needs to also understand that even while I'm working, we have a household to run and 5 kids to get where they need to go, plus feed them decent food and not some crap that comes in a box at the grocery store. My being home a couple days a week lets us do that even if I'm not pulling in the big bucks he would like me to be doing.

This morning I hit the gym and planned to do my ST, but I found myself on an elliptical for a half hour, then took it easy on a stationary bike for 20 minutes, and then my dessert, the pool for 40 minutes. I missed the gym for a couple days because of my headache, so I felt like I was making up for lost time. I may have overdone it because my knee feels extra tired, and my foot was on fire for that elliptical workout, but I got it done big today and I am satisfied with my work today. I haven't been on the scale in a long time, but I'm just doing my best, logging everything, and eventually the way my clothes fit will tell me how I'm doing. Go, me. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CONFUSEDBIRD 9/11/2014 9:27AM

    Sounds like you are in much more positive place! Migraine 3 days ugh that sound horrible! Happy you find your place at the gym. I know that feeling its always hard for me get used to a change like that.

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