Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Last evening, I decided to give up on trying to get the other driver's insurance company to work with me. I decided to stop waiting for them to return my calls and talked to my carrier. Then I emailed my boss and told him that, if the workload permitted, I would take the afternoon off to deal with the car and to burn some of my vacation time. (I've been at the cap since October meaning that I don't earn any more until I use some time and get back under the cap.)
Of course, that means I am at least temporarily out my $500 deductible and can only hope I get that back some day from that horrid company. I will also be out of pocket for some of the rental charges because I always buy full coverage. I firmly believe that Murphy's Law would get me if I did not!
Turns out the repair shop is not far from work and they have the car rental place in the same building. I knew instantly that this was the right decision despite the out-of-pocket costs. The adjuster treated me like a human instead of the next item on an assembly line, the tech who came out to look at the damage obviously knew his stuff. My car is in very good hands. Not only that, because I am using a shop that my carrier works with, my carrier warranties the work for the entire time I own this car!
They had only 2 cars to choose from for my rental. One was a smallish SUV. Being short, I feared falling out of it or having trouble getting in and out of it, so I chose the other car. A 2014 BMW sedan!
Holy cow! I had no idea how fun those are to drive! As soon as I saw it, I was glad I opted for full coverage. Yikes! It is powerful and low to the ground with very unfamiliar sight lines. But WOW!
I digress. When I came home, I sat down for a few minutes and was on the internet. Then I thought about it. If I stayed on the couch at that point, I would waste the afternoon. Today was a rare afternoon off and it was a gorgeous day. I convinced BF that we needed to take a walk. We were going to walk to a mom n pop restaurant a few miles away, but partway there, we detoured. I stopped and sat for a minute or two at every opportunity on the way out. We walked through IKEA. We even had lunch. He had salmon lasagna (I had a tiny taste and, while it was yummy, I was glad I had not gotten it because the whole thing would have been too heavy for me.) I had a veggie wrap with sundried tomato hummus, pine nuts and all sorts of yummy veggies inside a spinach tortilla.
I stopped only once on the way home, but...had part of a $1 ice cream cone from McDonalds. While we were there, I saw so many very overweight adults and children. I was so sad!
When we got home, I looked at my pedometer and discovered I walked almost 14K steps and almost 5 miles! It was a perfect day for a walk, cool enough that I did not overheat during the walk, BF was in a funny, silly mood and I discovered that, it being a work day, walking around IKEA was actually a good walk. Nothing to trip over and, because it was not crowded, I could actually get some good tempo going!
So many people commented on my blog about learning to choose my hard and some sent Spark Goodies. You have no idea how powerful your comments and support are. Each time I received an email that someone had commented, I ended up reading the blog and all the comments again, as if each reading is deepening the lesson.
I loved reading that my observations really resonated for others. I am humbled. I have gained so much from my Spark community, it is nice to pay it back (and forward) in a small way.
You never know how a comment can just make someone's day! You all have made and continue to make mine!
Monday, April 21, 2014
I've never been voted for a popular blog post before and was quite stunned! THANK YOU! I appreciate the comments so much. Today was not a hard day!
But "Choose your hard" was in my head today and I made better choices today.
Feeling marvelous for many reasons!
Sunday, April 20, 2014
The other day, I read a Sparkfriendís blog that got me thinking. She has a cat named Houdini and she measures her weight loss in quantities equivalent to Houdiniís weight. Her blog shared the joyous news that she has lost four Houdinis!
Weíre down to one cat now. Juneau is a Maine Coon and weighs about 15 pounds. Thatís a daunting amount of weight for me to think about all at once. I used to have a Russian Blue named Bug and he was about 10-12 pounds, still too much all at once. (And who can think in terms of half a cat?! Not me!) In February, we buried our sweet Cilantro. She was a tiny cat! Like me, short legs and roundish body. As a kitten, she was probably 5-6 pounds. Iíll think about, at first, losing this tonnage in terms of kitten Cilantros.
Itís all the same, really, itís just how to look at it so it does not feel like a defeat before the challenge has begun. Head games, perspective. Like everything else, itís a matter of choosing the message. Similarly, some people classify food choices as ďgoodĒ or ďbadĒ. I no longer do that. The food choices I make are on a spectrum ranging from excellent to very poor. Semantics. Without the connotation of good or bad, I am somewhat freed from the emotional baggage or emotional judgment of those choices. Thus, it does not become yet another internal judgment about me.
Last Sunday, I was in a minor car accident. The other driver took off my rear bumper and gave me some lovely muscle strain. His insurance company is proving to be elusive, so my car has yet to be fixed. I went to the doctor and ruled out a pinched nerve or other damage. She barred me from doing any exercise for about 3 days. Yesterday was the first day I have walked in a long time. It was a gorgeous day and, other than the inevitable fall due to a crack in the sidewalk, I had a great walk. I have fallen so often lately that, for the first time in my life, I am afraid to walk.
This week, I also got a lovely spring cold and just have not felt ďrightĒ. Last night, I was afraid I would die in my sleep. I had a headache I could not quell and I felt burdened by the fact that I am once again at my highest weight. I know this tonnage is hard on my body in every way. I know the weight gain has changed my center of balance and that contributes to my falls.
I got to thinking. It is hard walking into a store and walking out empty handed because there are no clothes that fit, that are age-appropriate or business-appropriate, that are affordable. It is hard, humiliating, to fall when walking out in public, have my great big butt in the air and struggle to get my legs under me and upright again. It is hard being overlooked or invisible in social situations because there is always a younger, thinner, prettier woman around. It is hard not being taken seriously professionally because my weight advertises the fact that there is at least one area of my life that is out of control. The choices I have made in the past few weeks that allowed those pounds to return were not loving. They did not put me first. Wearing clothes that donít fit right is hard. Wearing clothes to mask the weight (who am I kidding?) is hard. Wearing clothes that donít make me feel wonderful is hard.
I hate to exercise. It is hard. I hate having to make time to work at losing weight. I tire of being careful about what I eat, when and how much. I hate the whole thing. Itís all hard. But. But. But. The destination is LIFE. The journey is life. I work with people who are runners and bicyclists. I may never be able to ride a bike, Iím not sure I want to subject my knees to the pain of running, but I sure like the way my athletic coworkers look.
So now what? Itís back to working on those balance exercises. How did I get out of that habit? I no longer have reason to go to other floors at work and miss that elevator interval where I would do those exercises (as long as I had the elevator to myself!). Itís back to doing what I know to be the right thing. Itís back to choosing my hard. I choose the journey of life. It might even mean I need to swallow my pride and pull out the ugly silver metal cane that I have for when my tendonitis flares up. I HATE advertising my minor handicap because I am so aware that there are many who have bigger struggles than I do.
Letís see how long it takes me to lose my first kitten Cilantro.
Eventually, I'll use all three:
Tuesday, April 08, 2014
My youngest nephew turned 9 this week and emailed me to thank me for his present. We don't live in the same time zone, so I hardly ever get to see him. This was the first email he has ever sent and it was to me! (Mama was over his shoulder).
Yes, it is the little things in life! I love that little boy!
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Since I decided to do everything I could to improve my chances of being Jack's bone marrow donor, I have logged about 22 miles on my pedometer and started deliberately choosing foods that are said to improve bone marrow production.
The changes seem to have had a positive impact on my energy level, which is great! I have not been sleeping well, both because of insomnia and getting used to a new neighbor's schedule and noise.
My walking buddy at work is a few years older than I am and told me that she has brittle bones. She knows she needs to do load-bearing exercises but doesn't (her doc said she should). After some thought, since she lets me pick the routes we walk, I started going up and down the hills on and around our campus. At first, I did not tell her why. Of course, I was winded, but that did not matter to me. Later, about the 2nd or 3rd day, I told her why. The last couple of days, we have done the load-bearing shorter walks (usually one or three a circuit in the hilly upper parking lot) and, to get distance and steps in, our longer walk in the afternoon. We will have to switch that up as summer comes on. It already feels as if it is here. It is unseasonably warm, but this blog is not about the serious drought.
As we walk, she talks. I now know that she doesn't walk alone and will not walk without me. I'm going to an offsite seminar for Monday and Tuesday, so I challenged her to do the same walking I did when she took a day off on Wednesday. That day, I reported my walks and step count to her and she has promised to do the same with me. Accountability...
It was somewhat gratifying to hear her breathing hard on the hills and for her to say that she feels the extra exertion. She has been trying to get me to walk regularly for a while so it feels good to do something that gives her a needed benefit as well!
The scale was up 3/10ths a few days ago. Not happy. But it may be water retention or not enough fiber. Working on both. I also know I need to be more careful about portion control. BF thinks we can eat anything when it's all veggies! Me? I can look at food or think about it and gain weight - or so it seems!
In summary, tired, but I am not letting that be an excuse for not walking. Amazing that being focused on Jack seems to have flipped a switch. I love the movement, but I would give anything for him not to have this cancer!
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