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See you next Tuesday!

Friday, July 18, 2014

It has been a very satisfying week. I got down to 200 lb. and got a lot on my list done that HAD to get done. Hurray for lists and planning and accountability.

But now I need a few ZZZ's before our flights and drive to northern BC. DD is all set with her plans to have the place to herself (and friends) and will look after the pets. The fridge is stocked for her with healthy foods... which gave me a lot of joy because I did not shop with her, just loaded the foods into the cleaned out pantry and fridge. Very proud of her choices. I've done a little decorating for when we come back with the bride and groom. Not as much as I'd like... but we can continue when they get here... sneak some in while they are settling into the guest suite. Yes.. rambling...

Just want to tell you all that I have faith in you and you will do fine. I look forward to your blogs next week. Yawn... hugs to you all!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CTUPTON 7/19/2014 7:25PM

    The BIG DAY is here. Last year you thought it was so far off! Congratulations emoticon for your weight loss in preparation for the wedding. I know you will be beaming and beautiful! Can't wait for the photos! chris

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1CRAZYDOG 7/18/2014 10:16PM

    Travel safely! HUGS

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EDWARDS1411 7/18/2014 8:27PM

    Enjoy your trip!!!

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EILEEN828 7/18/2014 3:07PM

    Congratulations on making your goal. Enjoy your trip.

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AAAACK 7/18/2014 12:46PM

    Have fun!

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NASFKAB 7/18/2014 11:08AM

  have a great time

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CAPECODBABE 7/18/2014 6:58AM

    Have a wonderful trip!!!

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DRAGON-CHICK 7/18/2014 5:27AM

    YAY! Congrats!
And good job, DD!

Have a great weekend.

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Tuesday' progress on the week's goals

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

It is so worth while putting things in writing. I then know what I have to do, I get ideas about how to do it either through getting organized or my spark friends come to the rescue!

Yesterday was very successful.

I have not finished the list but took "bites" of each item.

1. Cleaning out my freezer, fridge and pantry. I went through my deep freeze and pulled out the buns and perogies and things we are not eating any longer and took them to my brother's place. They have a house full and sure appreciated the food. We are slowly eating up things in the pantry and fridge. I am trying to menu plan to make that happen. My kids want to swap things around and have frozen meals in the inside freezer. It has always been the "breakfast" freezer so I would have items available for B&B guests but since I don't have guests for a while they think prepackaged meals are a good idea. At first I balked. I don't like change. They pointed out though that after my knee surgery it would be easier for me to access meals we make ahead. True. Plus the leftovers are quick to grab by people working to take for lunch. True again. It occurs to me too that since they have come up with this idea they may inventory and clean out the rest of the deep freeze! We'll see. Today I will clean out the fridge.

2. Make a menu plan for the next 2 weeks. I made the menus for the next 4 days and enjoyed looking through the menus on "Real Healthy Recipes" which are all gluten and dairy free (except cheese as a condement). I printed out a few new ones to try. I am learning that I can collect a LOT of ideas and then never try them so it is better to start small. Last night was sweet and sour pork. It was an hour to prep, cook and serve from start to finish but that was too long for my knee so as we sat down I was hoping it would not be very good. Unfortunately it was very good. It got 3/4 yes votes and my DD who does not like pineapple said it was OK but not a favourite. On the negatives it requires deep frying the pork coated in batter. I had not realized that when I chose this recipe. I can see DD23 really enjoying it because it resembles "chicken balls" which she can no longer eat and it could be made with chicken, shrimp or even veggies. Comfort food. You can certainly just do a pork stir fry using the same "sauce" but it would not have that same effect. My goal today is to make the strawberry cheesecake cobbler from the same site which uses raw cashews in place of creamcheese. I like the carb, protein and fiber values and we can have it with Grilled chicken and salad for dinner tonight. The alternative was a brownie recipe my DD23 sent me made from sweet potatoe that she claims is the best brownie she has ever had... again high in fibre and low in sugars... but the site (eatdrinkpaleo.com) does not list nutritional values. not get the carb values to see how it will fit into my dinner plan as the "dessert" will be my carb and I'd have to put it in the food tracker to figure out how big the servings should be. We seem to be finding good recipes that she can eat though at paleo sites, although she can eat rice as well.

3. Planning my schedule. It sure helps to be organized. By having a menu I was able to get all the ingrediants in as well as plan to use foods up. This used to be so hard. I guess I was working and had some obsessive qualities coming up because I didn't want to have meals repeated. Anyways... got to the 2 stores I needed to go to and picked up things I need to take to the wedding and things for the people staying home. I have not planned into the week we come back with the bride and groom yet. However I have everything I need to bake some GF snacks to travel with. DD23 put in a request that I fedex her some of the GF bread I made while she was here. It was .... incredible... I admit. However I was using up leftover flours and am not sure I can recreate it. DD24 tried to make the original recipe earlier this week and it was not nearly as good. Mine was chewy and moist and you had no idea it was gluten and dairy free. Hmmm. Fedex? REally???? I'm not sure I have time before we go... and Fedex.... really... I don't KNOW. You'd want to send it after it cools but as soon as possible.... have to think about it. Tomjorrow is my hair appointment. I'm excited. Maybe adding colour? Definitely a new cut. Time with DD so hoping it is fun. This morning was fasting blood work and an EKG so that is DONE. Made appointments for DD25 with the neuologist. Picked out bright blue nail polish to match my dress.

4. Filing is done so the office is ready to CLEAN. As it is raining today it seems like a good task to do. I don't know when the last time it was cleaned even was!

5. Exercise. I DID do the garden yesterday. Well, I did part of 2 sections. It was HARD on my knees but I only worked until my knee would not tolerate it and then sat for a while. It really is magic because I am down another pound today and that probably was the reason. I need to MOVE. I also did my ST. I also did physio which is a whole other ballgame. I'd planned to do more garden today but if the rain does not let up I'll do some aquafit.

6. Something to do with my hands. Even though I "overdidit" yesterday I find I am recovering quickly. Sitting helps. Whether it is doing my nails or reading or sparking. But I need to have more. I thought about some comments I got and while I don't think I want to start scrap booking I think going through photos would be a very good project. We will want to downsize in the future and there are boxes of memorabilia and photos that will have to be organized, scanned or ... scrapbooked, lol. So I think I'll try it. I do enjoy looking for recipes but that puts me in the office more. If I set up a little table in the main room then I will be in there when people are reading or cooking. I also got a new sodoku book. I think one sudoku is just the right amount of time to "recover" and then get back to chores. It feels strange not booking B&B guests and all the whirlwiind of preparation involved... but we do have people coming over the next 2 months, some family and some guests. I don't want to start anything that might become too cluttered or too much work. And I do want it to encourage being around everyone. Yup, I think the photos will work.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADYBUG1943 7/16/2014 1:01AM

    An alternative to "artsy" scrapbooking.... You can find online a company that sells archival albums with plastic sleeves for the pictures, then right beside them, a smaller sleeve for a description or memory of the picture. Much faster with less angst that scrapbooking, and you've got your photos in albums, ready to view. I know you can make online albums as well which are fun for your online friends, but there's nothing like family members going through albums of great grandparents and previous houses or pets.

We are just moving, and I have two boxes of photos and scrapbooking supplies even though (in my mind) I threw a ton of it away. There's additional photo boxes snuck into other boxes to spread out the weight a little bit.

Yvonne - 7000 steps today, and no walk. That means little sitting for me today!

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1CRAZYDOG 7/15/2014 9:38PM

    You did a good job!!! You will be happy that you've gotten organized as time gets closer to the surgery.


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IMNOTSTOPPIN 7/15/2014 8:24PM

    Wow, you had some super productive time. You're very organized.

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DSJB9999 7/15/2014 4:35PM

    emoticon Thats progress emoticon

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NASFKAB 7/15/2014 11:14AM

  great idea freezing food

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DRAGON-CHICK 7/15/2014 11:04AM

    Good luck switching things up!
It's a good idea to have some [healthy] meals ready.

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Monday, Monday

Monday, July 14, 2014

I used to always want to make a fresh start on Monday. I would set myself up with ... no impossible goals but certainly not easy, not realistic, and often high risk. Like the gambler who is willing to bet the house. I'll just deprive myself and super exercise and focus... and presto I will meet my goal. It is not that it never worked. I am thinking back to when I was a teen and used to fast. Could that what ended up triggering my binging later? Or compulsive exercising. Certainly it was all in the closet. Heaven forbid someone should know, judge or see my failures. I just wanted them to see my success. I wanted to walk into the room and give the apprearance of perfection. Of having everything under control. Which I didn't. My world in those days was so far out of my control that I am amazed I survived it to become a healthy, competant adult sitting here now. Some difficult memories. I don't want to forget though. I have kids who are now young adults and just like I tell them, you are OK, I need to go back to the young adult I was and tell her I was OK.

It was not OK, those behaviours. They were the only things that I latched onto at the time. Now, I have many more supports and with an attitude of gratitude I can see how surrounded I am with people who love me and a safe environment.

Here it is, Monday and I am planning. But it is a good plan. That old addage, "failing to plan is planning to fail" rings true. My goals for this short week are to

1. Clean out my fridge and freezer and pantry.
Doing a sweep of the kitchen is important. Get rid of any CRAP that has come into the house that might be a temptation in difficult times... get rid of the clutter of things not being eaten and make a note not to get those again so that the healthy choices are visible and things that should get eaten up are forefront....(some will go to my brother as they are perfectly good but have gluten and dairy which DD and DH are not eating) Making it an inviting, clean place to be in.

2. Make a menu plan for the next 2 weeks.
This has to include what we will be eating the next 4 days, travel foods to take with us, foods for the people and animals staying home, then foods to come home to. I have found a new website of menus that look VERY interesting so I want to try one new meal from that and make at least one stand by that can go in the freezer. I have been doing only 4 days of menus at a time because I find the flexibility good, but I have to say I prefer not to shop every 4 days for food. If we have a menu plan and some basics already on hand it will be easy when the bride and groom come back with us to send them on errands to find market vegetables and flowers and visit the elk farm etc. before sending them up to the family cottage and have everything else ready to pack up while they are exploring.

3. Plan my schedule for shopping at the health food store, the fresh markets and regular grocer and fit in appointments for this week. Woo hoo! I have decided to take DD for a "day" to get our hair done and pedicures for a treat. My SIL asked if we want appointments the day of the wedding but I think we will appreciate it much more a few days ahead.

4. My paperwork is CAUGHT UP! I have 5 minutes of filing to do but I would like to tidy up this office... not a priority but it would be nice to come back to a place inviting to start writing in!

5. Exercise -Outdoors and gardening has always been my summer "magic" activity for taking off a few pounds and getting fit and grounded. But I won't be able to do the projects I had in mind. I have 2 areas of the garden that I think I could access and pull out some weeds without hurting my knee. I have joined the crunch club, squats club and push up club in my BLC and am aiming at a minimum of 100 of each by Thursday... off to a good start already... all modified for my knee. So far I have been doing them in the pool. I will continue to walk in the pool. I would really like to get a bronze medal with my tracker every week. Of course I have to keep it ON to do that.

6. Yesterday I overdid it and ended up in my lift chair watching TV in the AFTERNOON! It felt terrible so last night we played boardgames and talked and hung out with the kids. I would like to have something to do with my hands or some reading to do. Something not at the computer. A project. So... I need to brainstorm. TV is such a time waster and I get that when I am in pain I have no energy to do much... but cutting myself off from the world and retreating into my "cave", although it feels safe and good is a lie. Life is so much more than that and this effort I make now is an example I can continue all my life. I will probably always have pain and some physical limitations but whether it is spending time with people or doing something productive I think that is why I am HERE. To faccilitate and be part of this world. Not easy some days. I have neighbours, a community, an extended family, and friends. I don't want to slip betweeen the cracks.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AAAACK 7/15/2014 11:49AM

    You know, I think that maybe people who write need "cave time." We just have to pick a cave that has reading and writing stuff and not food and tv! I'd love to switch my cave time from eating to writing. Thanks for a blog that made me remember that.

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DEWAND1 7/14/2014 2:06PM

    Hi: I don't know if this helps, but here goes. My husband has problems moving as much as he used to - we used to go on long walks togehere but he has mobility problems, walks with a cane. So we came up with this hobby. From the spring to fall months, we keep a scrabble game in the car. We only play outside at picnic tables in parks but our favourite is at a small park about 15 minutes from our house by a river. He still gets to be outside and the game is heavy enough with wooden tiles so it does not easily blow away. It is good for me, because right after work we go on good days, with a picnic supper he has prepared. He is on a disability pension, so he loves to put this together. It is very relaxing for me. In between games, I can get up and walk on a path. I take my phone with me and take pictures of things I see, so he gets to take part.
Maybe this is a hobby for you with a friend. We can see people in canoes, ducks, some people fish, etc. Just a thought but I am sure with your planning skills you can come up with something good. Be blessed in your journey. emoticon

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DSJB9999 7/14/2014 12:57PM

    emoticon What super planning Justyna emoticon emoticon

But overdoing it is not so good! Take care of yourself! I need to plan more I think too.

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ALICE_TENNIS 7/14/2014 11:58AM

    emoticon & emoticon

You are finding what works for you!!!

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1CRAZYDOG 7/14/2014 11:02AM


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NASFKAB 7/14/2014 10:52AM

  all the best DO NOT OVERDO

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DSBRIDE 7/14/2014 10:04AM

    It's so hard to find a hobby to keep the hands busy and the mind off food when food is all you can think about. I took up quilting and I love it but here it is years later, a stack of quilts made and I'm still in the same place with food foremost in my mind. Perhaps I need another hobby....

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STRONGNFIERCE 7/14/2014 9:24AM

    Monday planning for me too Justyna, I love your quote you put on facebook, failing to plan is planning to fail...that has been my problem these past few weeks and have been making excuses left right and center. thanks for sharing this post and continuing to help me get back on track :)

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DRAGON-CHICK 7/14/2014 9:14AM

    I know what you mean about starting over every week. I rand to do it on the weekends so I can plan and shop.

Have you every done any scrap booking? Or just going through old photos? Once when I was recovering from surgery, I spent days scanning old family photos.

Good luck, and no more overdoing, please!

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Has my future self put a spell on my food dragon???

Saturday, July 12, 2014

My blog from yesterday I noted that I asked my future self what I should do... and today when I discovered some candy leftover from DH's birthday and the food dragon was saying "wouldn't that be nice to munch on while everyone is out of the house?" my future self jumped in and asked me if I had eaten my veggies and drunk my water. I had not. So I closed the cupboard door and walked away. It was that easy.

I made salad and came here to do a blog because I realized that most of the time my food dragon is in control of the here and now. I think it makes some healthy choices sometimes just to confuse me, but it is only capable of thinking of it's rumbly tummy and food addictive behaviours because it is... a child. It wants immediate satsifaction and gets excited by refined sugars and flours and junk food. I do realize that when I'm walking or eating healthy foods sometimes food thoughts do go away but it takes very little to wake up the dragon... like a baby who is a very light sleeper. Like the cat who hears the can opener and comes running. Only my can opener is an advertisement on the radio or seeing a drive through as I'm on my way home from an errand or opening that cupboard and seeing a food that is NOT on my food plan for today.

How many times I have reached the end of a goal timeline and been astonished at how little progress I have made towards my goal? It is hard to keep the goal in mind and so easy to sabatoge. So easy to "forget" the why's.

My future self WANTS to be happy and wants the present me to be happy too. It wants me to be doing the same thing now that I will be doing in the future and I am sure that that means keeping the dragon at bay. I am not saying no to junk food now so that I can eat it in the future. Eating my vegetables and not eating sugar is just common sense in a healthy lifestyle. Not that I can NEVER eat sugar but it is a trigger food and has consequences. Binging, mind fog, never talk to my future self consequences. It is what leads to sabatoge which leads to self loathing because I can't do something simple like... drink my water and eat my veggies. I honestly believe that many people out there do NOT have a food dragon. They are simply uneducated so when they do realize how much sugar is in a food, they stop eating it or find a substitute or only have one bite. Or they choose not to care. That is fine for them but that brief moment of being happy because I indulge in a food is just that... brief. I have a relationship with food. It is complicated. And it is in a manage-a-trios with a dragon. No, it is NOT a child. It acts like one but it is an addict. One that can spiral me back into sugar addiction. A deceptively dangerous beast.

So I'm kind of excited that this conversation with future self put some kind of a spell on the dragon. It stopped whining and whispering and plotting. Perhaps only briefly but it is a lovely feeling I have right now of... being in the here and now MYSELF and being able to make grown up decisions. As I eat my salad... and think about filling up my cup of water.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STRONGNFIERCE 7/14/2014 9:21AM

    Justyna, thank you as usual for such an insightful blog.

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ARKPLE 7/13/2014 10:24AM

    You are slaying that dragon!

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HOLISTIC5 7/13/2014 10:10AM

    JUSTYNA , your writings are so refreshing- I see and hear my self in so many of them- thank you for putting the feelings and thoughts in print... you are one strong, brave lady and you can overcome the dragon !!!!! emoticon Keep on keeping !!!

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JUSTME29 7/12/2014 11:07PM

    Cage match between future you and your dragon - you could sell tickets. I know you'll (future you and present you) will.

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NASFKAB 7/12/2014 10:43PM

  awesome geat

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DRAGON-CHICK 7/12/2014 7:56PM

    Wow! That IS exciting! Go you! I'm all kinds of impressed!

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1CRAZYDOG 7/12/2014 4:30PM


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ALICE_TENNIS 7/12/2014 4:23PM

    great writing!!!

You may not ever be able to slay the dragon entirely (since hunger, appetite & desire make us human) but I know your future self is stronger than any of those desires. Only a strong courageous woman would come to SparkPeople, put her journey "out there" & blog about the challenges you face as a hero.

You've got this!

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DSBRIDE 7/12/2014 2:25PM

    OMG, if I had only read your blog 2 minutes earlier. My dragon appeared and offered me a chocolate pie. It was an individual one and I accepted. Not like I didn't read the nutritional values of 440 calories and lots of sugars. It was just another moment on the lips, forever on the hips. And the dragon won't stop!! Today is a bad day and my resistance is low. I wish I had your resolve. The day is young, I could do so much damage but I'll keep your words in mind and hope for a better day.

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_BABE_ 7/12/2014 2:21PM

    I do appreciate how you put into words exactly how I am feeling and I do mean exactly. We have the same relationship with food. It's enticing and at the same time the after effects of mind fog and self loathing are always forgotten in the face of a piece of cake.

I am going to try and talk to my future self and see if she can talk some sense into me at the moment of binge.

Thanks..... emoticon

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Making a good start

Friday, July 11, 2014

Woo hoo, I am down a pound and I managed to get nearly 5,000 steps yesterday!

Things are possible! My knee injury and watching the weight creep up has certainly discouraged me but someone came across my spark success story and put a comment on my page. I went back and read that story again and Wow! What a remember when to ... not just what it used to be like when things were bad, but to what things were like when I was succeeding. What really came across was the difference that tiny choices make and how slow and steady does win the race. It was a reminder that this is a journey with MANY bumps and detours and I will learn with each one.

I have over 9,000 views of my success story now. Words make a difference. Blogging, exercising even ten minutes a day, drinking water, and trying to eat clean. These are things I can do, NOW. I feel very grateful and that is part of the success formula. That and just do it. Even when I don't want to. Yesterday I focused on my I Matter list on my fridge and got everything done on it. Nothing took a lot of time but everything took some time and the difference is I feel better today. Whether it was doing my chiropractic stretches or standing for a few minutes in the sunshine those are powerful tools towards making healthy. Positive and excited about the day I AM!

All that said, my husband got out chips last night that I bought and brough into the house. He portioned them into bowls and my first thought was "why didn't he bring the whole bag". I tried to eat them slowly but as I got to the end of the bowl I was not satisfied. I kept thinking about that as I looked at the bottom of the bowl. What would have satisfied me? One more? Ten? It hit me that only the bottom of the bag would have stopped me. I don't often eat chips... don't crave them, but obviously I am vulnerable. A half hour later I looked at that bowl and I really did not want any more chips. In fact I could talk directly me to my future me who was saying "really? Did you forget about the wedding next week so quickly? You know you can eat treats at the wedding and after so why now? Why exactly! There was no reason for eating them. Not hunger, not a treat. I think in my mind I thought "these are on sale and it would be nice to have them for DD's birthday... (which is in August)" It was a definitely a food dragon trick. So today I will focus on calming my dragon... by walking in the pool... and possibly doing some weeding on my driveway. Hard with my canes but not impossible. Outdoors and bend, stretch, accomplish something. I will try and eat clean so the dragon gets bored. As for those chips... might send the rest of the bag to work with DH. And tonight when the dragon calls I think I will busy myself hemming my dress for the wedding!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STRONGNFIERCE 7/14/2014 9:20AM

    thanks for sharing this justyna! definitly some 'food' for thought :)

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AAAACK 7/12/2014 1:14PM

    I liked this blog a lot. I always like your blogs (somehow got unsubscribed again), but this one was what I needed to hear today. Both the part about the 10 minutes a day working, and the part about the chips. I like that you were able to do a whole think-through of what would have satisfied you. I don't think I've used that exact wording before - simply asking myself (before getting more food) what WILL satisfy me? And maybe taking time to wait for the answer rather than just groping blindly for anything and everything.

I think this is one of those blogs that might be good to re-read periodically. Thanks.

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AALLEY2 7/12/2014 10:35AM

    emoticon emoticon on your weight loss success!

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DSJB9999 7/12/2014 2:23AM

    My goodness that blog is amazing Justna! emoticon you emoticon

And emoticon emoticon for keeping the dragon at bay with the chips, so sensible!!!!!!!!!

I have tried really hard not to celebrate my interview success despite being SO EXCITED this week!

emoticon Donna x

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MSHEALTHYMEL 7/11/2014 3:58PM

  Thank you for reinforcing that small steps matter...way to go!

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ALICE_TENNIS 7/11/2014 3:16PM

    Someone once told me to focus on the "next to the last bite" because it will taste delicious. (That last bite is where you say, "Hey, I need some more.") On the next to the last bite, remind yourself that you are satisfied & at the just right point for stopping.

Congrats on your success in spite of your injury. It's a great reminder that we all need to be ready with Plan B . . . and Plan C . . . and even Plan D. Nothing is going to get in the way of our weight loss & healthy living!


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1CRAZYDOG 7/11/2014 11:46AM

    Good job on thinking things through. That's a good idea to talk w/your future self! Helps put things in perspective.

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NASFKAB 7/11/2014 10:49AM

  you have done a great job way to go

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DRAGON-CHICK 7/11/2014 10:21AM

    Chips! Oh-oh! Good for you for handling it so well!

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DSBRIDE 7/11/2014 10:07AM

    You really make the case for blogging! Going back and reading your feelings at different points in your journey are really helpful. You're doing great and congrats on the loss!

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HOLISTIC5 7/11/2014 8:45AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JUSTYNA7 7/11/2014 8:36AM


Is the link to see the story. Just highlight it, right click on it, and choose "open link"

Comment edited on: 7/11/2014 8:37:42 AM

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