Saturday, May 17, 2014
4 days of exercise in a row!
This morning I didn't work out, and I'd been getting it right out of the way within the first couple hours of getting up the last few days. I almost talked myself out of doing any, but I set aside the excuses and tried a couple new exercise videos on HASfit.com , after one of my sparkteam mates mentioned she uses their videos. I decided I will start a 30 day challenge program that they have over there, tomorrow: hasfit.com/30-day-fitness-challenge-
Eating has been pretty good, I went a bit overboard last night, but have been very disciplined today. I'm cooking a new recipe tonight, and I've even already tracked it. Planning ahead is a big step, I haven't tracked much before I've eaten it in a while. I've gone on a big green tea-drinking kick, I'm not sure why but it's just been very tasty to me this week!
Feeling better, doing better!
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Feel better, do better. Do better, feel better.
This one is a cycle, which I know is true. I feel better when I do better, and when I feel better, I want to do even better! Drinking water, getting exercise, getting my eating under control!!!
That's been so ridiculously tough for me, just to eat reasonably.
The second mantra: Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
It's kind of a metaphor, but my kitchen floor has been filthy dirty for weeks now, and it just keeps getting worse. Every time I notice it, I think ugh, I have to get this floor scrubbed!! Then I think first I need to sweep, and move the trash bins and microwave cart out of the way, then get the mop out, then let some spots soak a bit because it's just that gross, then I feel like I need to scrub the grout lines since they're really grubby too..... on and on, and it just feels like too huge of a pain in the butt to even just sweep the floor! Or sometimes I'll sweep up and feel like that's better than nothing. Which it is.
So last night, I was cooking dinner, and I just finally had it with looking at that dirty floor! I grabbed a few washcloths, soaked them in water and a little dish soap, and dropped them on a few stubborn spots. I got a small start at chipping away at that stupid big task, and I feel so much better about it. I probably got less than a quarter of the floor washed last night, but hey, a little progress is good.
I've been similarly chipping away at getting back on track with my weight loss goal. I haven't made downward progress in months, but I've thought about it every freaking day, just like noticing that dirty floor. I've been pretty good about drinking water, I've exercised some probably 4 out of the last 7 days. A little progress is good.
Saturday, April 05, 2014
I have been stuck in a terrible cycle of binging, beating myself up for it, feeling stressed over it, and doing it some more. I've tried getting out of it any number of times, probably the majority of mornings I think, today I can break the cycle and do better. Then, I simply don't. I can't put my finger on why I think eating whatever whenever feels better in the short term than getting myself under control and out from under the awful guilt I'm imposing upon myself for this behavior. I've done some exercise some days, I've fallen into and back out of the habit of drinking lots of water. The only consistent thing is I'm eating, eating, eating.
I feel like a failure, constantly reporting more slip-up than success, so I've been very quiet on spark lately. I don't even want to track my weight, since it's up from where I had decided I was starting over again, 2 weeks, two months, two days ago. Sigh. That's not productive, either. I'm so irritated with myself!
The dress I had planned on losing weight to fit into to wear for my wedding feels more like a millstone now, another contributor to the guilt and shame I am feeling. I go back and forth between thinking, screw it, I'll just get a different dress, and, NO, don't do that, just get your ass in gear, you still have time!
This has to stop. I'm starting to feel the familiar aches and pains that accompany my body at this higher weight, that go away altogether if I'm even 5 pounds lighter. This isn't a vanity thing. This isn't a loathe yourself you'd be a better person if you were smaller thing.
This is an I need to love myself thing. Enough to care more for my health than whatever tasty oversize pile of morsels I feel like stuffing myself with. I need to move on from this pattern, forgive my poor choices, and do things that are loving for myself, my health and my body.
Today, I'm so sick of it! Enough is enough is enough. I'm planning to track my eating today, that's always a good start. I've done a bit of exercise already, and have been generally trying to avoid sitting too long at a stretch. Alright, hitting post and getting on with it before I lose my nerve.
Wednesday, February 05, 2014
What a slog this week has been so far! I was overly concerned with the scale, and thankfully it finally moved, but not by much. I am working on this phase 2 thing, and will get back to my workout routine tomorrow. Chris has been home the last 3 days, and I didn't want to kick him out of the living room to do my workout, or move my stuff upstairs. Kind of a lazy excuse, but we turned the house upside down cleaning and reorganizing today, so that was a lot of work and I counted it as my fitness minutes.
I've caved in to temptation on a couple of "off limits" foods according to this diet plan, but I definitely exercised moderation and it hasn't hurt my progress at all. That was a great feeling, knowing I didn't make an ideal choice, but still didn't derail myself altogether. I picked out a (non-food) reward for every 5 pounds I lose, and I'm really looking forward to the next one!
I'm feeling good about my progress this week, even though it's only halfway over. I've conquered a couple of the mental hurdles that can really make me quit caring about working on my health and weight loss, so that's a very positive thing!
Saturday, February 01, 2014
The appeal of the south-beach diet for me, at first, were all the stories I'd read of the quick weight loss in the beginning. In that regard, it did not disappoint, I lost 6 pounds in the first 2 weeks. Pretty good! Over my 3rd week, wherein I've been reintroducing more foods into my diet, I've not lost any.
I'm glad I've been using the nutrition tracker! I've got some idea what to tweak to try and get the scale moving again. Not that a week with no change is really such cause for concern. I wasn't home for 4 days, and didn't have my morning weigh-in to assess what impact the food changes were having. So I'll keep working on it, and see what needs to change in order to keep losing.
I am seriously getting tempted by those white carbs though! Baked potatoes to go with dinner for my family last night, and I made bread this morning since we ran out. Oh, the mouthwatering oven-fresh home baked bread!!! That was rough, but I know better. It smelled good, and that's as far as I went. I'll definitely need to look up some whole-grain bread recipes, and pick up some new ingredients at my next grocery shopping trip.
I did the circuit training routine today and yesterday, it's so nice to get back into it. I thought my dad had some free weights I could work with while I was there, but he only had 2-pounders, not very helpful! I know I will only keep feeling better as I go along, getting stronger and better able to hit that workout!
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