KIWILVR24   1,675
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KIWILVR24's Recent Blog Entries

Sleep Deprivation = Emotions

Friday, July 19, 2013

Is it just me, or is it that after a certain time of night your brain just turns itself off and emotions take over?
I was just doing my usual evening stuff - looking on SparkPeople, checking Facebook, etc - feeling pretty positive about life... then, BOOM! A shock of tiredness hits me & all of a sudden I feel super sad.
I better get some sleep so this "sadness" doesn't follow me into tomorrow & cause even more temptation for emotional eating!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RECREATING_ME 7/19/2013 7:03PM

    Lack of sleep does throw everything out of whack, including emotions. Hope you were feeling better today, and that you are able to get more sleep! emoticon

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RIBKNIT 7/19/2013 1:33PM

    Yep, happens to me too. Sometimes I get myself to bed or have a hot drink, other times I pig out. I hope you feel less sad today.

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DAUGHTEROFTWIN 7/19/2013 10:05AM

    Yes! When I get tired at night, I also get the snackies. Just this desire to consume everything edible in the house. That's my cue to stop whatever I'm doing and just go to bed.

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MARYAHMARCINIAK 7/19/2013 1:16AM

    I can relate, I have been awake over 24 hours now...hang in there girl. :-)

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Self-Hating ... I refuse to eat these emotions!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

I have been having a relatively good day today, food-wise. Other than consuming more fat than I would like to have (I tried a new recipe - turns out it is good, but not good for you) - but still remaining within my allotted amount - my day has gone really well.
I even managed to go to the grocery store without splurging on treats or junk food (yay, me!).... however, I am now fighting the biggest urge to eat my emotions after hearing some disappointing news - the guy I've been liking for the past couple months just officially told people that he is "in a relationship." My immediate response? "If only you weren't so fat, maybe he'd like you" and of course, "Well, she's probably really skinny and beautiful." I really want to stuff my face right now... I haven't made enough of a progress (weight-loss or confidence-building wise) to NOT let this disappointment bring me down. I know he is "just a guy," but when you are as shy as I am, they don't come around very often. I'm feeling blue. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KIWILVR24 7/19/2013 12:59AM

    Thank you, guys. I really appreciate your encouragement - more than you can know! I find it so difficult to be "passed over" for tiny size 2 girls... one day, someone will appreciate my curves (because, even if I lost all of my desired weight, I'd still never fit into a size 2 - my bone structure is quite large, even at my skinniest! Grr... it makes losing weight not as fulfilling! Oh, well!)

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RECREATING_ME 7/16/2013 11:53PM

    So sorry :( It's always tough when you have an emotional blow like that.

But your title to this blog post says it all: "I refuse to eat these emotions!" Exactly, there are so many other productive things to do in this situation. Blogging about it is a good option. Maybe finding other ways to meet people (volunteering, joining the Jaycees, etc.) might also help.

Hang in there!

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CINDBUG 7/16/2013 11:44PM

    My heart is with you.

First, you are beautiful! Who you ARE speaks to the world.
Second, prepare for the emotional roller coaster:
Find a scripture that speaks to you.
find a friend.
Buy your favorite fruit - the kind you consider a splurge - and keep lots of it in the fridge for the next few days.
find some strong music. Whatever you like. spend time looking for a song that says just what you feel, or want to feel. Try the new song "Beautiful"

every time you want to eat that cupcake, or whatever your emotional eating trigger is, stop the world, play that song, eat that fruit, call that friend - give yourself a ten minute positive experience.

You can do this!

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Bad Advice/Words of Non-Wisdom

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Well, it has bee over 2 years since my last blog entry... a lot has changed in my life - I got a job, quit said job, and I am now working as a caretaker again - which in itself is a long story.
What has remained the same? My size... in fact, I am probably about 5-10 lbs bigger now... Ugh. Which brings me to my Title "Bad Advice/Words of Non-Wisdom."
Have you ever gotten "advice" or "wisdom" from someone you care about a lot? Well, I have - a good part of my life. Because I have always been a "thicker" girl, an important person in my life tried to "encourage" me to lose weight.
I am 26 and single. I am about 30 lbs over weight.
According to an important person in my life, "guys can't help but NOT be attracted to you because of your weight" - and "maybe you should lower your standards... if you aren't willing to lose weight for a guy, you better start finding fat men attractive."
Every time I try to lose weight, or flirt with a guy, I hear these words in the back of my mind... the result? I generally give up... and eat my emotions and loneliness.
I'm trying to start over. I'm trying to get in shape - not so guys will "be attracted to" me, but so I will find myself attractive. This is going to be difficult... Here it goes!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAUGHTEROFTWIN 7/17/2013 12:34PM

    When I read your blog, I felt absolute FURY fly through me. I don't know you . You don't know me. I don't anger that easily. I don't mean to offend you, but the person who said this horrible thing to you is mental. Seriously mental.

First of all, your worth and loveability have NOTHING to do with the number on the scale. You are worthy today. You are loveable today. At THIS weight.

Second, you are a beautiful woman. (Yeah, you posted pictures on your SparkPage. I checked em out. You ARE beautiful.)

Third, why do you want to lose the weight? This question holds the key to your success. If your motivation is to catch a man and avoid loneliness the rest of your life, success will ultimately elude you. (Yes, I know. That was my driving force for a long long time. It simply doesn't work because you ALWAYS will feel unworthy coming from that place of motivation. When we feel unworthy, it's like our bodies put out these pheromones that tell other people we are in fact unworthy). Okay, now go back and read the first point. You are worthy of love, of being healthy, of making and reaching your fitness goals. You are worthy of respect. Worthy of self-respect.

Fourth, I'm concerned about this important person in your life. If she/he isn't building you up, they are tearing you down. We should surround ourselves with people who truly love us and value us for who we are. Those who encourage us with a positive motive in their heart. I had a friend once who constantly used her advice and "encouragement" to tear me down, to try to devalue me. We haven't been friends in a long, long time.

Fifth, you might consider shifting your focus from relationships to your personal journey. Setting goals--small ones and large ones--and then reaching them will build your confidence. It will also allow you to start trusting yourself. You will eventually get to a point that your inner light will shine out for everyone to see. The relationship will fall into place eventually. You want someone who is worthy of you. Not someone who you've settled for to avoid loneliness. (been there, done that too.)

Hugs!!!! Please forgive me for fussing. Your blog really made me emotional.

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KIWILVR24 7/16/2013 11:33PM

    Thanks, MMCOOL_1 - I really appreciate your encouragement & will definitely look up those quotes! I need to stay positive :)

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RECREATING_ME 7/16/2013 10:30PM

    Oh, my word! I am so sorry that this person in your life has said something so completely out of line and off-base emoticon Don't listen to him/her! None of it is true.

I agree with your last paragraph, which alluded to the self-love that is important. This is as much a mental game as it is an action/oriented one. If you are into inspirational quotes, you could find some here on SP that could help: http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource
/quotes.asp

Maybe put a few up around where you live to remind yourself of why this lifestyle change is important -- because YOU are important.

emoticon

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ZRIE014 7/16/2013 12:19AM

  don't give up. set your goals and make a plan to reach it.

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