KNH771   97,045
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KNH771's Recent Blog Entries

If Only I Could Eat the Guy Who Did This...

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

There are times I wonder if I'll ever completely get over the pull of emotional eating. Most of the time, it's not much of a problem - not like it was 10 years ago. Then there are days, or incidents, where I find myself circling the office M&M man like a shark circling a baited cage.

Friday night someone hacked my Starbuck's account and got my credit card information. I caught it very quickly - within an hour, but it still created a lot of work for me. I thought it was all taken care of, but last night Verizon called and somebody was trying to charge a "new device" to my account and have it mailed to a different address.


Starbuck's and the credit card company both said I wouldn't be liable for the charges made Friday night, but they still showed up on my bill yesterday. No one actually got anything from Verizon, but I had to add secondary security to my account. I can't keep track of all of the passwords I have now, and adding extra ones?!

I handled this in a very mature way... by eating a stack of Girl Scout cookies. I have to work late tonight, and so I'm treating myself to take-out. Choices I probably wouldn't have made if I wasn't stressed.

Sometimes I think there are only so many things a person can competently deal with at once.

(photo from Stephen Frink Collection via National Geographic)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WOUBBIE 10/17/2014 10:46AM

    Ugh. Hope it gets sorted out quickly. Thank goodness the banks are all over this stuff these days! Even ten years ago it would have been disastrous!

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CHEFSOPHIE 10/16/2014 2:47PM

    I have the same problem and frustration with passwords.

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MRTHING2000 10/16/2014 6:38AM

    I used to know the locations of all the office candy jars. I found myself hovering around a few people's desks just to snatch a candy or a Girl Scout cookie. Daily!

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NEKOCHARM 10/15/2014 3:23PM

    Argh... What a pain! I swear - Emotional eating is the bane of my existence. emoticon Every single time I've wanted to just go off and inhale all the food has been down to emotionally feeling crummy. That's why I'm trying to figure out what I can do to keep my mood up.

I guess looking at the positives in any situation, no matter how bad, is the way to go to achieve this. Yes, somebody stole your credit card info, but you did catch it in time, and credit card companies won't hold you liable for unapproved charges.

Hang in there, and stay away from the M&M man. Well, unless he's cute and single. emoticon

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WIFE48 10/15/2014 3:04PM

    emoticon Sorry about the credit card problem.

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Social Media is the Thief of Joy

Monday, October 06, 2014

So, last week I was feeling kinda good about myself. I had looked at my charts and data, and knew I could do better, but was happy with the weight I had lost, and the inches I had dropped. I had an improvement plan for October...

Then I went on Facebook...

There, I see great before and after pics for one of my coworkers. Clicked "like." Read the post.

And instantly "disliked" myself.

My colleague had lost more weight in three weeks than I had lost in the last three months! "No pills!" "No gimmicks!" "Only hard work!"

I instantly started to look at my progress as proof of my laziness.

Her success was evidence that I just needed to work harder. Needed to stop fooling myself. Needed... I don't know.

It was like a punch in the gut.

It's a trap I have to work hard to avoid. Comparing myself to other women. It's something I've done, at least since middle school. The age I became a professional dieter.

Looking at pictures, and sizing yourself up negatively.

Looking at workouts, and sizing yourself up negatively.

Looking at career success, and sizing yourself up negatively.

It's so easy to see yourself as "less than."

Part of it is probably because I grew up in a household where we were always told that that is exactly what we were. We were stupid. We were lazy. Dumb as rocks. Absent of common sense.

Decades later, those words still echo, like a whisper following you in an abandoned house, and you just can't find the source, or turn it off.

This is not who I want to be.

This is also hard to change.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

4A-HEALTHY-BMI 10/7/2014 11:10PM

    Dude. You made improvement. That right there is something to celebrate. You didn't plateau and you didn't backslide.

Sometimes we're just not in a place where we can push as hard as fast as someone else or even ourselves in the past. I have had to remind myself of that a lot over the past 6 months while dealing with some massive life curve balls.

And I like that you're grappling with this issue about negative comparisons and the insidious self-talk, because it's an important concept I've had to revisit over and over and over in lots of areas of my life (as you have suggested).

I'm not sure that social media is so much of a problem as our reaction to it. I'm with NEKOCHARM that this has a lot to do with those nasty comparison traps we fall into...

You're doing well. Seriously. I mean it.


Comment edited on: 10/7/2014 11:12:45 PM

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WOUBBIE 10/7/2014 11:42AM

    I hope you learn to talk back to those voices. They were wrong then and they have no right to talk to you today.


"The only person that can beat me is me. And I'm pretty sure I can take her!"

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CHEFSOPHIE 10/6/2014 2:09PM

    Everyone is different. Any improvement is a step toward your goal.

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NEKOCHARM 10/6/2014 1:59PM

    Ohhh... The comparison stuff. I know how that is. emoticon My issue as of late is comparing myself today to the me of yesterday, before I regained 30 pounds. I'm working hard on forgiving myself, and just moving on. Trying to concentrate on how I'm doing a great job taking care of myself today. But as you said, it's NOT easy. Changing those old tapes filled with negative criticism is tough, but we can either continue thinking those crappy, unproductive lies, or make a conscious effort to tell ourselves positive, encouraging things instead.

I'm trying to do that myself. I have a bad habit of whenever I go to the bathroom, I look at myself in the mirror and see all of the flaws. Then my mind runs with self-criticism. One thing that helps is when I look at where a lot of that negativity initially came from. Like you, some came from my family. But... they had their own messed up issues, and were far from perfect themselves.

Today we don't have to own our family's BS, their insecurities, their feelings of inadequacy, their issues. If it's not productive or nurturing to us today, then let's make a conscious effort to ditch those old voices. emoticon

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BEATLETOT 10/6/2014 9:51AM

    Ayup. I know exactly what you mean...

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EVIE4NOW 10/6/2014 9:48AM

  Sounds like we grew up in the same house. Are you my sister? lol. Yes it's hard to avoid the little voice that we grew up with but I instantly think of the source(s) and put on ignore.

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SMITHKRISTI 10/6/2014 9:28AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PUPPYWHISPERS 10/6/2014 9:26AM

    I completely agree that social media is the thief of joy. It's too easy to look at what others are doing, and instantly compare our lives to theirs. But I disagree that you are less than anyone else.

Just look at're doing it! You're losing weight, maybe not as quickly as your coworker, but studies have shown that the healthiest way to lose is slowly and you are more likely to keep the weight off.

Allow me to cheer for you because I think you're doing great! emoticon

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Move it, Girl!

Saturday, October 04, 2014

Time to set some fitness goals for the month.

I actually fell a bit off the wagon at the end of September. And for a really stupid reason. A guy who works at the gym asked me if I would research something for him, and I haven't had time at work to do it. So I've been avoiding going there because I didn't do what I said I would do.

For a week and a half.

Sometimes I don't understand myself.


I'm still struggling to get back to weight training. My general goal is to weight train 3x a week. That would be 13x in October if I was perfect. I'm going to aim for 10 of 13.

For Cardio, I'm still aiming for 30 minute workouts. I'd like to hit 25 of 31 days there. Hopefully my week off the wagon won't kill me when I get back to the gym.

I was thinking about starting P90X3, but there is actually a new Power 90 coming out. Beachbody is taking pre-orders, but you have to sign up for auto-ship on their supplements right now. You can't just order the DVDs. I haven't actually seen a release date, though Tony is selling it hardcore on YouTube and Facebook. I think I would like to do the new Power 90 before I do X3. I have a tendency to rush things with fitness, and then hurt myself for going to hard, too soon. Even though I know better, I want results yesterday!

I just want to get back to "happy weight."

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHEFSOPHIE 10/4/2014 2:13PM

    A week and a half is not a lifetime. Why not just tell the person that other demands made it difficult to the research, but you haven't forgotten.

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WOUBBIE 10/4/2014 10:24AM

    "Sometimes I don't understand myself." Nah, I think you do, you just don't like some of what you see. I do the exact same thing, socially. I don't want to disappoint someone so.... I disappoint them in another way.... Yeah. Not much logic there, lol!

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October Nutrition Goals

Friday, October 03, 2014

I hope this is what your October is looking like. My October is actually covered in snow right now. I'm going to have to break down and turn on the heat.

Yesterday I posted about the data that I had collected, here on Spark and other places. I figured out that even though I did manage to lose some weight and inches last month, I had a lot of room for improvement.

My goals for October are actually based on all of the graphs and charts for September. I'm using those as a baseline, and looking to improve.

emoticon Drink 64 oz. of water 28 of 31 days.

emoticon Stay in calorie range 25 of 31 days.

emoticon Drink 80 oz. of water 21 of 31 days.

emoticon Get 70 grams of protein 18 of 31 days.

emoticon Get 25 grams of fiber 10 of 31 days.

emoticon Eat 5 servings of veggies 5 of 31 days.

Some of those goals might not seem like much, but I promise, they all represent an improvement over September.

I'll post fitness goals tomorrow...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WOUBBIE 10/3/2014 3:42PM

    Nice! Just enough wiggle room to keep you from feeling confined!

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CHERIJ16 10/3/2014 10:08AM


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PUPPIES4ME 10/3/2014 9:57AM

    emoticon emoticon

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Show Me the Data!

Thursday, October 02, 2014

Hello everyone!

Can you believe it's only 90 days until 2015?! Time has a way of passing quickly and slowly at the same time.

Almost every month I post some goals, and to be honest, I haven't always been terribly thoughtful about how I chose them. This month, I sat down and actually looked at all of my sparkpeople charts and reports, along with my WeightGrapher and FitBit information.

I wasn't doing as well as I thought I was!

I did lose 3 pounds and 2.5 inches, but that was probably despite myself.

I only stayed in my calorie range 11 days in September.

I hit my protein goal 12 days in September.

I hit my fiber goal twice.

There wasn't a single day I got 5 miles in, or a single day that I hit my calories burned goal on Fitbit.

Obviously, I have room to grow.

So my October goals will be growth-based. Not aiming for perfection, but aiming to be better than last month. I'll share more on that tomorrow. In the meantime, my weight graph for September is below...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRESBESS 10/2/2014 11:40AM

    You are making progress.

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TRAINER_T 10/2/2014 9:25AM


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KBEAR9963 10/2/2014 9:17AM

    Realizing where you want to improve is the first step. I know you're going to do so much better in October. You sound extremely motivated. You can do it!

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KESTRYLL 10/2/2014 9:12AM

    emoticon emoticon

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