Thursday, October 31, 2013
Let's do this one in reverse order.
Had my first sip of alcohol tonight and didn't even know it. Was out with my daughter, and was offered some hot chocolate. First I said "No, thank you though". Second time I didn't want to seem rude and I said "yes, thank you". After the calories I've burned up lately, this won't even touch me. Then I'm walking, thinking, this tastes a little funny. So what does every good parent do, have your young daughter try it. Behold, hot chocolate with Bailey's. No biggie, just dumped it out. This is probably the most anti-climactic way for me to have my first sip. Oh Well. My plan was to do my St Judes marathon on Saturday and if I had some celebration wine, then so be it. No race, no wine, and no hidden meanings. Sounds like a good way to me.
Why was I out with my daughter. It's Halloween. She was a female Slenderman, and I dressed up (literally). Black and whites from head to toe. Mr. Tux was taking his daughter out. This is one of the BIGGEST EGO BOOSTS I've had in a long time. I heard people compliment my daughter for her dad dressing up and taking her out. SO AWESOME!! Then the single moms checking me out, YEA BABY! One lady at a house made me come up because she "has something to give me". Must have been more than one house hitting the booze, because she didn't even pretend to hide it. The best one all night was the most polite. A woman simple told me that she "liked the look of my costume". Saying it nice in front of my daughter, but dipping her close shoulder just enough with a slight head bob that I knew what it actually meant. So, was I a walking "hottie!!"? Probably not. Am I borrowing someone's kid to take out next year, ABSOLUTELY!
Now the ice cream. At the beginning of this month I told someone I would try and go all month with no ice cream. I did it. No trial was so great that I turned to that evil delicious yummy demon.
I just did another 5k. This was for fun on an indoor track and somewhere around 27 minutes. Seems odd to mention this without talking about my first one on the 26th. And, here it is.
My broken heel release date was the 26th. I went and put myself through some low speed and high speed running on the 25th (about 1 mile worth). On the 23rd I did a mile very slow. Wanted to make sure everything worked before my race. Then the race day hit. 42 degrees with rain, and wet mud every where. This was a trail race and could not have been better for me. The course was a mix of wet leaves, tree ruts, and mud slop. My running form is way way off. I could keep up my strength and lungs on the machines, but nothing was smooth. Well, nature made everyone not smooth. This is when I found that a little strength can go a long way. The race was small at around 45. I finished 6th overall and 1st in my age group. I was amazed. Everyone was slowed way down except for 3 young healthy bucks, the cupcake lady who is amazing, one guy who looks like Banister slipped in the race, and then me.
Was this a good month? No, not really.
Do I have some inner family stuff (not discussed) to deal with? A big yes.
Are these four good things to "hang my hat on". Definitely!!
That's my happy report for now. See you in November.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
That sounds like a good title, doesn't it?
I thought so too!
Guess what? .............ok WHAT!!!, you say.
The answer is. It doesn't mean anything at all. The front page of a sales ad, lost leader, wasted trip, sorry about your luck.
Now that only the cool people are reading, let us continue.
I have done many miles and then some walking and thinking. (25th is GO day for running). This is a regurg of thoughts.
The back corner of my house has a little room in it. The title is "The Den", but back room is actually much more appropriate. There are 2 dog cages, a large "L" shaped desk which was intended as a computer/homework place, 2 book shelves (full of real books), 1 treadmill, some small exercise equipment, and some motivational posters. Quit a lot for a little room. This is where I'm sitting, where I've done my sitting all weekend. That's like a total of 3 hours of sitting from last Wednesday on. I like to stay active and moving, it keeps my blood pressure and heart rate up. The posters, yes, the posters. My favorite is "It's never too late to become what you might have been" ~George Elliot. What I might have been was an Environmental Chemist, but lets stay within reality. That was 23 years ago I hit the 98% in the nation on a chemistry test at MI Tech. Currently it's more of a restaurant/lounge owner/manager. Now that I am making steps toward that, IT SUCKS. My job switch to less work and more training is costing me BIG. How does $30,000 per year sound, and this is no joke. I was making a lot lot lot of money, with a lot lot lot of crap to go with it, so I can handle the trade off. The worst of all is the new stress of pushing all the time. My brains are spun up so tight right now it is a constant dull ache for my third week strait. I Know-I Know- I could try relaxing a little. But that would be no trainer, no supervisor, no bar, and then no training on the paperwork stuff. This is a tight market, and I better know and understand the numbers. I now have the approval from two levels up to give me a raise on the floor, raise at the bar, and whatever training/answers/info I can handle and/or ask for.
The family- do you know what it takes for a child to get expelled from the school busing system? Enough Said! this is way bigger than any job difficulties.
My running. As some who have followed, I get hurt a lot. Some is me, some running form, some work. I changed jobs to remove that. I'm working on the whole inner Chi, one with earth, energy flow, Pax Konrada, up down, right left, light dark, good over bad mindset. No depression equals always happy. Always happy leads to good health, leads to good blood flow, leads to healthy muscles, leads to active, leads to happiness, leads to good health, leads to a crazy spinning wheel of death because there are so many factors to watch out for that your brain gets spun into a tight mess of knots that leads to a three week headache.
Back to running. "I CAN"T RUN!!"!!! The 25th is my freedom date on a cracked heal. What to do in the middle of this. Read. Read. Read books on Chi, Chi running, form running, no injury running. And use machines, light cross training, biking, and the pool which I hate. To let you know. I've run bare foot in the sand, sprinted on my toes, felt the rock, launched off the tree root, dug up the hill, chopped down the hill, practiced falling forward, run with my heart, felt the joy, remembered the kid, felt the kid in me, play like a game, chased the rabbit, "be the movement", felt the pounding of a race horse. Really, how many ways can there be. To let everyone know- I can out run the rabbit, out last the horse, and my childhood was "not fun". The best advice I've ever got. "you've got to learn to run for yourself". What I want to do is strap on my 5.3mm offset trail shoes with the firm fore foot for positive feel, neutral guidance to let my foot pronate correctly, and soft heel in case I jam down wrong. Then go out on the 26th and run with my heart/lungs/brain and blow this stuff out of my life and right through the soles of my feet.
Conclusion. Is the headache from the job learning curve worth it? tell you in 3 years.
Is there a form out there for me? tell you after spring marathon.
Is the family stuff going to work out? think so, just don't know the form
By the way. I feel and embrace every one of these thoughts. They are not good or bad. They just are. they are just the waves in my ocean. remember, it's the waves that make that relaxing sound.
Congratulations everyone. You just made it through a Konrad down load.
PS- the best advice came from a guy my age in my town that runs 60 miles a week and 12 marathons a year. drinks, smokes sometimes, like cheeseburgers, and only buys shoes on sale. he said it took him two years to learn. I'm at 16 months.
Thank you and sunny skies.
Monday, October 07, 2013
A lot of restarting.
Yesterday I wrote two very long entries that dove deep into personal stuff, my son, and my job. First one got blanked out. Waited and tried typing again. Then a full blank out. That's the end of notebook. Something fried the motherboard which lead to a scrambled hard drive. Motherboard will not recognize any hard drive or USB drive at all. Couldn't retrieve hard drive info, not it's a backup to my "kids may borrow" laptop. Currently going through and doing a complete reformat on an old desk top. Lucky for me, I built it well, now I'm just not portable anymore.
Now to those long blogs in a summary form.
Work has been 4 weeks of constant training. I've gone from breakfast buffet, to lunch, to dinner, mixed in room service, started bartending, 2 separate specials pages, a whole new menu, my first raise, and now helping out young servers. WOW- it has been rough.
Son has been very extremely bad rough difficult. And then some. Therapy, school counselor, and that wonderful middle school discipline guy. Finally laid it all out there. Hope for the best on this one. Really don't want him kicked out of school and/or bus.
A giant THANK YOU to everyone who is still checking in and leaving comments for me. The last non-published blogs went into depth why I've been flaking out.
Also gained about 6.2 stress pounds. And that's one more thing to restart.
Double Thank You everyone, Konrad
Sunday, September 22, 2013
I read a couple blogs earlier today. One stated that "knowing yourself is the beginning of wisdom". The other was the same idea, but stated with a more depth. It was a Spark Friend named Tina, who I repeatedly read her blogs. I'll even go back and read old ones many times over. Seems that I "GET" her insight. Today, I learned a little more about her looking back, reflection, motivation, toughness, resilience, and coping. Then here's me-
Lucky for me, I don't need motivation. Once I get an idea, it's just a matter of time. This really isn't motivation, but more of a job completion.
Toughness and resilience- no problem. I can and have exercised while injured. i.e.- last MRI showed a fracture, stress fracture, and split tendon in my foot. Some of these are already healed.
Coping- I do that. By exercising myself to death, and picking something to perfection style micro manage until the stress has pasted. ""BTW - This doesn't work in the long run""
Now lets look at reflection. Here is my difficult range. Many of you know I quit drinking on Jan 7th,2013. Near the end, I hated that I drank, and hated that I had to work so so hard to overcome it. I went through the withdrawals, ups/downs, emotions, and it was rough. Was left tired, worn down, and used up. Now came time to rebuild and toughen up. To protect myself, I put everything into exercise. This landed me in the hospital with a heart that liked to skip beating (highest was about 7 seconds). Got better, then went back at it. This landed me in an orthopedic office (2nd time in 6 months). Finally- I started to understand myself.
I realized I wasn't fat or lazy or alcoholic or bad or anything for that matter. I was just trying to deal with life. I still am. Now I still work out very hard, but I take recovery breaks. No drinking, smoking, bingeing, perfection, or losing it. It's about riding out the waves and staying upright. I still feel an abundance of emotions, but it's more love and softness. The days of anger and hard are gone.
Now- Do I still get that ugh feeling, yes. Do I let it get to me, yes. Do I let it control me, "NO". Currently life is about moving forward. Helping my son who is having a rough time getting on in life. Helping my family whom all seem to be getting sick on injured. And The Biggest- moving my life in a new direction.
Taking one step at a time, moving with purpose in the direction I choose, and letting the ugly parts of life fall to the side.
And these are my thoughts for the evening.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Sorry, but I had to wait until I knew what I would be doing.
Leaving the Steinhaus was exactly that- LEAVING. Didn't like it, wanted to go, and I did. That job is now in the past, and I think I'll leave it there.
Onto Monday. It was my first day at The Doubletree Hotel of Bay City. It's part of the Hilton Hotel structure. I knew I was hired, and I would be in the bar/restaurant side, but that was it. Saturday I received my start time and worked out schedule. Worked Mon and Tue one at 4 and the other at 5. Within 2 hours of my first shift I was staying late and coming back in early. already making insteps. Other work days will have to wait until my doctor appt. tomorrow afternoon.
What I am actually doing. Waiting tables. Starting right at the bottom, the very bottom. I spent my first day being showed how to mop and wipe counters. At this time I was actually help teach a half my age server how to do her job better and more efficiently. This may seem like a huge step back, and it is. They will be training me as the morning supervisor. Not the best of titles, but a start.
Onto the future. It's really hard to get your own place without even a small title. So, supervisor, then bar supervisor. I will move on to asst. manager with either a transfer or move onto running a place. Final goal will be ownership.
This all may not seem that great now, but it will be. The initial steps should go quickly. Then lots of hard work. Will keep you all involved.
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