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Feeling Better

Friday, May 09, 2014

I have been on a long road. One that hopefully leads to a full recovery.

The long story is too long, so here's the abridged version:

I have had pain in one form or another, and most of this pain was unexplained. No doctor or specialist could explain it. At first, it was all over itching. Everywhere. I had migraines. I have never had migraines before. Those went away, and I had tingling and stinging in my hands and arms. It was so bad I could not type or write or open doors. I was totally disabled. Then my foot pain flared up so badly I could not walk.

I pursued each pain with a specialist. My foot pain is real, and I have been working on it with a podiatrist. I am slowly recovering and the last couple of weeks I have been able to work out. This is the first week I was able to work out all week, completing each workout.

I went to my doctor who has been with me during this crazy journey. She and I sat down and I cried. Just cried. I explained that all of these physical problems directly reflects a problem related to my parents or my childs health.

After a lot of discussion, we determined that my anxiety is out of control. I have always had some anxiety, but this is really making me sick.

I have been pursuing some remedies and I can see a big difference already. I feel a bit more focused and social. I am still having some pain. I got anxious today and my arms started stinging. I am developing tools to help me cope and get back to feeling normal. (whatever that is)

I hope to get back to my regular activities here and everywhere else. I have been tracking and participating here and there, just trying to get back into the groove of things.

I gained a lot of weight. I could not work out in all that pain. But I am 9 pounds down and really staying focused. Woohoo!

My journey is certainly not over or cured or whatever. I can see light, and I can accept what's going on. Here's to getting out of this funk!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOY199 8/4/2014 9:01PM

    The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne saved my life. I was getting to the point where I didn't want to leave my house. I decided to see a therapist, because I didn't want to live that way. She is one who recommend the book. She told me everyone gets some anxiety at times, and she is right. I still get anxious at times, but now I know what do to keep it from controlling my life.
Inspirational quotes are one of my coping tools, and this is one of my favorites from Eleanore Roosevelt, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

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    I am so sorry to hear this. I am glad you are feeling better and hope you have a full recovery!

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MSEMBERSTORM 5/19/2014 9:18PM

    Hugs and I am so happy to see you here. I am so sorry you have been going through this! May prayers and hugs. I am glad you are on the mend. We are here for you! Take care and keep healing!

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JUSTME29 5/10/2014 9:47AM

    I'm glad to see you around! I'm so glad that you are finding some relief. I've been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing this time that you've been away. I'm looking forward to seeing you around here more and catching up with you.

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OHANAMAMA 5/9/2014 2:35PM

    First of all I am so glad you are feeling better. It's great to see you back on SP! Second, I am so sorry all this has happened to you. I reckon your doc has exhausted all possibilities... it makes it so much harder when there are no answers as to what and why. third... I feel you on the anxiety.... more than you might know.

I hope the foot pain continues to get better. Way to go on the 9 lbs lost already! you are getting back into your groove. :)

I love you, my dear friend... emoticon emoticon

I hope your hubby and the boys are doing well!

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PROPMAN1 5/9/2014 2:27PM

  emoticon emoticon

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Thursday, October 10, 2013

I turn 40 tomorrow and it's the last thing on my mind. I am so sad! I was looking so forward to 40! Mom's surgery took much more of her foot than they thought. She is in therapy and down and out about it. My dad is expecting to have shoulder surgery at the end of the month. He was coughing up blood yesterday and so he is going to the VA hospital today. Hubs is one of the furloughed government employees who is working without a paycheck right now. If the government doesn't act like grown men soon we will not be getting paid next week. I have a terrible case of carpal tunnel and I am waiting to go to the ortho doc. It's just not a pretty picture at my house right now.

I have not been able to type much at all or focus on anything good. I haven't been here because I can't type without pain. My proofreading job will end if I can't get this fixed soon! I have to save my hands for all things domestic right now! So please understand when I don't respond. It's not personal, it's painful.


Anyway, I just wanted you to know what was going on!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSEMBERSTORM 10/14/2013 6:25PM

    Hugs and healing thoughts all the way around! Happy Birthday! Hope things improve.

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OHANAMAMA 10/11/2013 1:24PM


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NGCHILD 10/10/2013 10:26AM

    Melissa, sorry to hear about all the issues with your family. Health is so important. Sending prayers your way for you and your family!

You are fabulous today and will be fabulous for our birthday!!! I am rockin 42 tomorrow!!

I hope your pain eases in your hand, I can't imagine the pain.

Take care.


emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JUSTME29 10/10/2013 8:49AM


I wish I could help somehow. This whole shutdown thing is awful - I don't care which side you're on politically the only people being hurt are people like your family. I'm so sorry! Know that I'm thinking of you.

I hope your mom recovers well from her surgery, and I hope that this is the wake-up call she needs to take better care of her remaining foot. I also will say prayer for your dad.

Comment edited on: 10/10/2013 8:50:39 AM

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    Somewhere in there is something good. Ed Foreman says to expect g-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-od things to happen and they will. Chin up!

Make Today the Greatest Day of Your Life

emoticon Until Tomorrow

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Wednesday, September 25, 2013

I am feeling so tired! I have been working out like crazy! It feels so good to be back in the groove. I am doing my turbo jam and then walking! Sometimes for an hour or more. I love being outside. I am also still hiking on Saturday mornings with my girlfriends. I adore then and being outside. This time of year it's just gorgeous!

I am feeling better this week and I hope I stay that way. The headaches are being kept at bay.

My mom is having part of her foot removed next week. She has had diabetes since she was 38 years old. She took great care of herself for a while, but the last 10 years she has completely quit. And now as a result, although she denies it, she is loosing her foot. She tells me this could happen to anyone. Maybe so, but she didn't do herself any favors.

Again, this inspires me to behave and workout. Why eat like a maniac and become everyone's burden?

I started tutoring last week with my son's second grade class. I love LOVE love it. I have two students from Mexico who mostly do not speak English. I love helping them learn to read. It's awesome.

And I got to work with the advanced kids too. I just love it.

I hope that this fall I can drop at least 10 pounds and get into my favorite jeans. AGAIN. Ugh!

Well, I am off! Lots to do!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSEMBERSTORM 10/5/2013 8:02PM

    Sorry to hear about your mom. Sounds like you are back on track and that is awesome. Keep rocking it woman!

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JUSTME29 9/28/2013 9:51AM

    I'm sorry about your mom. I hope she takes this as a wake up call to take better care of her health from here on out so this isn't just the beginning.

I'm so glad to hear you so upbeat! The headaches are fading, you're back to exercising, fall weather is crispy and inspirational for losing weight. Tutoring sounds like a great fit for you. I'm sure you are doing an amazing job of it.

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ANYTIMEILIKE 9/26/2013 10:51AM

    Hi dropping by from the Love of Horror team blog roll. Sorry to hear about your Mom's health. I hope everything goes well with the operation.

I love your wallpaper.

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GMO_JEN 9/25/2013 8:05PM

    Sorry to hear about your mom too. That can't be easy, but hopefully taking care of yourself will help her too.

Also very cool that your headaches are doing better, and that you tutoring. That is awesome :)

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MISTY_MOUNTAINS 9/25/2013 6:59PM

    All the leaves changing and the crisp, clean air make it SO much nicer to be outside this time of year!!

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NGCHILD 9/25/2013 10:15AM

    Sorry to hear about your mom.

Glad to hear that you are e'njoying fall! As you know it's my favorite time of the year too! We have been taking Max to the park in the evenings and letting him play and then we walk around the perimeter of the corn maze. He says it's spooky!

Speaking of spooky, we will be hotties in no time! You will be rocking those jeans by our birthday!!

Enjoy the rest of your week!!



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Good news for me.

Friday, September 06, 2013

I am feeling pretty good this week. It started off pretty scary.

I got news last week during my physical that I had a lump in my left breast. I had never felt it before and the doc assured me she was only being super cautious. I was ok with that for a little bit. I had to battle my stupid insurance company in order to get a mammo. They weren't really thrilled about it because I am not 40 yet. So irritating! No one in the mammo office or my doc's office could believe my insurance company's attitude. I had to fight for it, even though I am 5 weeks from being 40!

So, I finally had the mammo. All is clear. Nothing to report, thank GOD!

I feel so so relieved. Of course, all those "what ifs...." were haunting me. I kept looking at my boys and thinking about missing out on raising them. It was pretty terrible and difficult.

Thank GOD that is over.

My headaches are still lingering, fewer and farther now. I think the tension in my life has been tremendously cut. My boys new school is amazing and I am so grateful that I fought hard to get them out of the old school and into the new one. We went to the book fair and "Reading Roundup" at school last night and it was sooooo awesome! What a great school. The boys have all kinds of new friends. I am so relieved. I am also the new media center assistant for the second grade! I am so excited! I tutored at the last school and loved it. Now I get to help out the adorable second graders in the library!! Woohoo! I love books and kids! This is so exciting!

I have been working out like a mad woman the last month. I have finally lost 8 pounds. This week tho, nothing. No gain either, so that's good. And a miracle really. We went out of town to visit family and they always feed us like crazy. It was a good visit and kinda sad. My hubs two grandmothers are both in homes now and one house has to be cleaned out. It was sad to see the house empty.

No more chasing chickens with the boys and the dogs. No more shooting guns. Well, I don't shoot the guns. I use a compound bow. (In terms of the Walking Dead, I am much more likely to be Daryl than Rick.) I will miss all that fun.

She gave me her vanity. It's so special to me now!

I am eating much better too. I am really having to watch what I eat. My glucose was ok, not pre-diabetes but it's close enough to annoy me.

Today I am having lunch with a good friend and I having the salad. I can't wait to catch up with her!

I finished Buffy and well, started Angel. I really did not like that show as much as Buffy. Buffy's hard to compete with. I am now watching Supernatural and I loved that show but didn't see the lastest seasons so I am catching up.

Tomorrow is my four mile hike with my girlfriends! I love to catching up on their lives and being outside!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSEMBERSTORM 9/7/2013 12:38AM

    Excellent news! So happy for you! Sounds like things are moving forward in a positive place. That is wonderful. Enjoy your lunch with your friend.

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JUSTME29 9/6/2013 8:27PM

    Have fun tomorrow.

I'm the opposite of you - I liked Buffy (still do, am rewatching now) but Angel is where my heart really is.

I'm so glad your mammo came out ok. I turned 40 last spring so I'll have to go for one this fall when I have my regular appointment. I had a scare in my 20s though, and it wasn't fun. The doctor thought she detected something be since I was so young she sent me for an ultrasound instead of a mammogram. Everything came out ok, but I definitely had some "what if" moments.

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NGCHILD 9/6/2013 11:49AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

So glad everything is ok. Sorry to hear about the grandmother's --- that is so hard.
Have fun on your hike!

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ERINLINDSAY83 9/6/2013 11:05AM

    So glad you are having a good week! Hope it continues for you! (And wow with the insurance company.... it shouldn't matter how old you are if you have a lump! (I work in the radiology department, so Im not just saying that to agree, lol.))

Have a great weekend!

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RONNIEHUEY 9/6/2013 11:04AM

    Have fun with the hike!

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Feeling Better

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

I am feeling WAY better than I was!

I have no answers, though. No one knows what really happened to me. I had headaches that took me out of commission. It was terrible. I have been to every specialist you can name. I have had every test/procedure you can imagine. No answers.

I think my headaches are a combo of sinus, allergies, and tension. Just a guess. I still have headaches, I woke up with one today. But it didn't kill me! Sometimes I have rougher days than others. Sometimes no headaches at all!

I have been working out this week and tracking my food. Seriously, I have not felt like doing anything, so these little steps are pretty big for me.

I have been walking with my BFF and a couple more friends every Saturday morning. We walk 3.5 to 4 miles every time. And each time it's a new greenway or trail. It's been awesome. This Friday I am walking 4 miles and then again on Sat in a new place. I am so thrilled!

I have my physical in a few weeks and I can't wait. I know, that's odd. But I can't wait. I still think my 40's are going to be awesome!

I have been cleaning my house like crazy while watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on my iPad. Next I think I'll watch Angel. I am on season 6 of Buffy and I have such a crush on Spike.

The little dog we adopted a few month ago is doing awesome! He needs no surgery. He needed love and exercise. So I talk him walking some. He is a feisty little dude and all his hair is growing in! He gained 3 pounds. He's 12 pounds of feisty!

The boys are loving their new school. I am so thrilled. At first my little guy didn't love it and he had such a hard time adjusting. But now he is loving it. He starts allergy shots today. And instead of being all crazy nervous he said he couldn't wait to get them started. He wants to be well!

Well, I am off to get his room clean. Woohoo! NOT!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSEMBERSTORM 8/25/2013 1:55PM

    Glad to hear you are doing better! You have been missed. Take care of yourself. Glad to hear the munchkins and the pup are doing well. Stay in touch!

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ASILLA 8/14/2013 2:50PM

    Happy to hear you are feeling better. Any one of the three symptoms you mentioned could cause a headache. It is good that you went to get checked out by specialists too and got a clean bill of health, just incase. Glad to hear your puppy-dog is doing better as well. Feisty is a good sign for pets & kids, lol

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GMO_JEN 8/14/2013 12:19PM

    I am so glad you are feeling better- I hope your headaches improve- they are the absolute worse.

I am glad that you are exercising, and its very cool that you have a friend to exercise with.- that can make exercise so much easier.

Buffy is awesome, but it has been a long time- I might need to re-check it out, but so much to catch up on!

Also happy that your puppy is doing better- puppies are awesome- our new one is doing good too :)

So glad you are back!!!

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SEASONS_CHANGE_ 8/13/2013 3:58PM

    It's good to have you back. You've been missed my friend.

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JUSTME29 8/13/2013 1:11PM

    I'm glad you're feeling better. How funny that you bring up Buffy and Angel - those are two of my all time favorite series. I've been using Buffy as a bribe to walk on the treadmill. If I walk, I get to watch an episode while I walk, otherwise I'm not allowed to. I'm calling it "body by Buffy", and so far it's working.

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NGCHILD 8/13/2013 12:49PM

    So thankful you are feeling better!! I can only imagine how difficult things were for you. Good news on the boys and your puppy.

Yeah for you on the walking. How fun and you get to socialize too!!

I have a HUGE crush on Angel. Oh baby. So much so hubs bought me the entire series. LOL!



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