Saturday, December 06, 2014
today has been a day not to sure of anything. Don't know how to do it, I have a love hate relationship with my weight I know I am not alone, but it still can bring me down to my knee in feeling not worthy of being a normal weight for me. I did get my and I am trying to keep walking more than ever before. I just have the blues and my back has been so bad. My moods are so down. And my middle daughter has been so sick I wish I could take her pain and wear it so she doesn't have to be sick. A good friend is also struggling her husband has been in the hospital for a year and a half. I would like to know how to make other better. I know I can only take care of myself and that I have done for 60 years come this Thursday the 11th of Dec. But I still would like to know how to make myself become a person that is able to be thankful for life which I am. but able to become the size I would like to become and still be able to eat. Which I am working on. I think which is hurting me is that I hurt for others and then I take it out on myself. When I know that I pray for others. But sometimes I need to be able to really understand why others have to hurt so much. anyway like my psychiatrists says " it is no what you eat, it is what is eating you". Words of wisdom. Thanks so much for listening to me.