Sunday, April 13, 2014
I've been told I was too honest. Really? I think that what the people who have said this to me meant to say was I am too opinionated. Too outspoken. Maybe too mean. & at times, even too rude. There is no such thing as too honest. It'd be like saying someone is too trustworthy. "I would never let him house sit for me, why, he's too trustworthy." WHAT???
The problem is that people don't always understand the difference between opinion, perception & fact. Perception & opinion can be changed. Fact cannot!
You have the right to your own opinion. You do not, however, have the right to your own facts.
If you asked 5 different people about a car accident you'd hear 5 different stories. They may all be 'the truth', but you'd still get 5 different stories. One person might be watching the children in the back seat. Another might have been watching the tires. Etc. These truths are based on perception.
Fact is that when Clinton left office our country had a surplus of money. When Bush left office we had a deficit. I'm not making that up. You can research it for yourself.
Opinion is that I think Clinton was a better president than Bush. YEA...I said it! (Huge surprise I'm sure because I don't come across as a Liberal at all!) A better person? Well, that depends on what virtues you are asking about in a man. I personally do not care about Clinton's infidelities....he isn't MY husband.
Mikhail told me the other day that I had implied something when we were talking. I said "Mikhail, I do not IMPLY anything.' He said 'Well, then you inferred...' NO! No, I didn't. He wanted to hear me say he was getting a new toy. I had said NO!
I watched a show called Hecklers a couple of days ago & had a very smart comedian remind me that just because you preface a sentence with To be honest you don't have the right just to be mean. He was talking about critics. I mean, I knew this already, but it really hit me.
People give you their opinion as fact & think it's okay because they are 'just being honest.'. Opinion isn't everyone's TRUTH. It's MY truth! If somebody asks for my opinion, that's what they get, but I have learned TACT over the years.
If somebody asks me if I like their new dress I don't blurt out 'That's the most gawd awful thing I have ever seen.' anymore. I might say 'Well, it's not really MY style.' Which my friends know means the same thing! HM??? Maybe, I do imply....
Thursday, April 10, 2014
First, I want to thank those of you who shared your personal stories with me about 'feeling' emotions! I appreciate your honesty & trust in me. I know it's a hard subject because people who don't feel it don't get it either. I already scream 'NUTS!' so what the hell, right???
I am NOT paranoid. I do not think people are watching me. I do not think there is a conspiracy against me. What I was talking about in my last blog is called intuition. We ALL have it. Some of us are just better connected to it. I'm not 'plugged in' like most people in today's society. I don't have a cell phone, Ipod, or any of the other endless devices to be contacted on no matter where I am. I actually LIKE face to face conversation. I think there is too much noise for people to listen to their own soul much of the time!
I talked about being overwhelmed by other people's emotions because I think so many people walk around mad. People who are angry put off a very exhausting vibe. Mad because of traffic, mad about the crying kid, mad about...whatever. Just mad. Mellow out! When was the last time throwing a temper tantrum cleared traffic on your way home?
I'm sure part of my intuition is from growing up in an abusive & neglectful home. When your very being depends on other people's moods, you learn how to 'read' people. Can I go running in there happy & giggling? Should I walk through silent with my eyes down?
Reading other people's feelings is probably as much about reading their body language & facial expressions. You don't run up on a guy who has his arms crossed! If somebody is scowling you walk up lightly. You don't bounce into a room where two people are staring each other down.
Today, if only for a minute, shut off all the world's noise & LISTEN to yourself or your kids. Look in the mirror. Are you giving off anger??? Is your son giving off happiness??? Is your husband SCREAMING with his body language that he isn't happy?
I don't believe in wind because I don't see it. I don't believe in gravity because I don't feel it. If gravity were real wouldn't we all be laying down all the time??? (I'M JOKING!)
Just because you can't see or feel something doesn't mean it isn't real. Maybe 'crazy' folks see what's real??? Maybe there is a conspiracy against that man. Maybe she does talk to angels. Don't deny something just because you don't understand it. God is the ultimate unknown, yet millions of people believe in Him. If you don't, what do you care that somebody else has Faith? What harm can it do???
Everybody sees the world through their own eyes, experiences and feelings. Keep an open mind. You might learn something.
Tuesday, April 08, 2014
Do you ever just 'know' something's not right by the 'vibe' in the air? I do A LOT! In fact, I probably feel more than I hear. It's weird. People think I am being judgmental, but it really isn't like that. I KNOW how things are. I'm NOT psychic. That's such a weird word. People put too much pressure on it. When will I die? Will I get married? I have no clue about stuff like that, BUT if you're not doing well, I know. I feel it. If you are doing great, I know that too. I can feel the difference.
For the past 4 months or so I've been getting a weird vibe at my Dr's office. I knew it didn't have anything to do with me specifically, but just this 'everything isn't okay' feeling to the place. It makes me uncomfortable.
Yesterday, I found out that my Dr is leaving the practice. Weird as it is, I was relieved. Not that she's leaving, but that I was right about the 'vibe'. Yesterday was the first time in months that I didn't feel stressed being there. I go to the Dr about once a month so I lost that Dr stress feeling years ago. It wasn't like that. It just felt off. I told Sarah that I'd been feeling uneasy and I was happy I finally knew what was going on. She knows me well enough that she said she understood.
I found out yesterday, she moved to a new city about the time I started having the stressed out feeling. She's been struggling (which is what I was feeling) with it all this time.
What's hard about this is that even if I had asked if something was going on she wouldn't have known to tell me she was personally struggling. She would have just reassured me everything was fine.
Sometimes I can't be out in public because I get SO overwhelmed with other people's stuff. I can feel all their emotions, but I can't separate them out. It's one of the reasons I can't go to group counselling. I feel like I'm in a room full of emotional vampires.
It's a gift when I can hone in on one person. Sometimes I can't do that. Sometimes EVERYBODY bombards me with their emotions. It's almost like I'm having stuff thrown at me & I can't duck fast enough.
I've always assumed it's part of being Bipolar. I've been able to feel it in the true Bipolars I've known in person. My BFF Marla & I had an electricity between us. Other people couldn't sit in between us. We actually had people complain about the 'energy' we put out if they did. It was almost like that shock you get walking through a furniture store.
It's invigorating, yet exhausting.
I'm a toucher....very huggy. BUT I hate being touched because I feel too much stuff. I have literally jerked away from people because they 'felt' so bad! I've asked people not to touch me or my son....they put off such a bad vibe.
If you don't have this you are probably thinking 'Wow! Lisa really is a nut!'. That's okay. It makes me feel nuts sometimes! It's hard to explain to people who don't have it.
Somebody wants to know they are not alone. I'm guessing (feeling) somebody is going to read this & know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. If it's you, please send a SparkMail to me. You don't have to share. I just want to know I'm right. If you would like to share I'm very interested in how you deal with it.
I need to work on honing this because lately it's getting overwhelming again. It's hard to do everyday things when it hurts to go out in public.
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