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Blog #6 - off track, but i'm getting back

Monday, July 08, 2013

Yikes!! so it's been exactly five days since i've blogged, and i hate to admit it, but it's also been five days since I've been tracking my food. yes, yes, i know not good. I had a little freak out moment (family stress, final exams, relationship problems--- basically just life). I handled my stress in my usual way, overeating, not exercising, and being as sedentary as possible (pajamas all day kind of sedentary :-/) Basically, I was going to a bad place fast. Fortunately, this morning I had a wake up call. I knew where I was headed because to be honest I've been here before. I thought about all of my new friends on spark people, I looked at old photos of myself, and realized I don't want this. I'm tired of feeling "too fat" "too unhealthy" "less attractive" etc.
I'm ready to get back on track though. I had a set back, but I mean life is full of those right? It took me five days to get back up, but I'm up and ready to try even harder this time!

So I guess this blog is kind of a confession: I think I'm going to need a little more encouragement than I thought... help me please?

I hope everyone had a great fourth of july and that everyone is doing well and on track to better health!

Happy monday!!!

best always,
Jasmine

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKBACKJZ 7/8/2013 8:55PM

    emoticon Have a great week!

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ISBJSHAFFER 7/8/2013 5:29PM

    Missed you girly! So glad you're back!

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GLAZED-DONUT 7/8/2013 4:30PM

    We have all had those times - all of us, we have to remind ourselves that this is a journey...and with that we have to give ourselves the love and compassion we would someone else in the same situation.
Each time we 'fall apart', get back up, dust ourselves off, strap on the big-girl undies and say OKAY GIRL, I'm worth MORE than this... I DESERVE better than to treat myself like crap, I am not CRAP... thats learning, for SOME of us (ehh hmm - points at self with BOTH fingers erratically) we are hard-headed and take a few more lessons than others, but girl.. once it sinks in... OMG, its better than magic... you are clearly a smart chick, so your 'magic' isn't too far way!!
As a former binger / over-eater / stress eater... I can say its just about identifying those triggers, then doing something completely different than thats in your comfort zone to deal with those issues.... it may not be the most convenient, and I promise it wont be easy and it may be uncomfortable to turn away from FOOD as a temp. FIX, but I promise the more you do it, the stronger you will get... believe in yourself, you are a strong, smart woman, you totally can say NO, walk away and do something different.. I promise you it will make you feel a million times better to walk away from the pantry than to dive in. - Hang in there... I believe in you and I want YOU to start believing in YOU TOO!! xxoo
Susie*

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NELLIEH1 7/8/2013 3:52PM

    Good for you, Jasmine!! You've faced the items that you want to change and now are off and "running" again! That is so right on!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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QUIRKYDAY 7/8/2013 3:51PM

    Once in a while you just need to take a couple personal days. You aren't a robot. You deserve to give your emotions the time they deserve. It's good that you are back on track now and that you are working towards reaching your goal. just try not to beat yourself up too much. emoticon

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ROBBIEY 7/8/2013 2:10PM

  Happy Monday!!!! You can do it, just keep moving forward
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Blog#5 - Not so Good ... :(

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Okay so I slipped up and did poorly yesterday. Yes, i binged, which was something I didn't think could happen because I was doing so well. But yes, I sadly slipped up and went way over my calories did not track them... i'm going to track it right after I'm done with this blog though (deep breaths! eek!).

Okay I am naturally upset with myself, but I'm forcing myself to stay on track and I'm taking this as a learning experience instead of an excuse to tear myself down. (I'm definitely my biggest bully). I learned 3 things from yesterday:

1. when I plan to go to the gym I need to go right away!
i planned to go to the gym as soon as i got home but I went into my room, sat down at my desk and well... once I sat down my intentions of going to the gym vanished... :(

2. when I am stressed and hungry do NOT go grocery shopping - I need to call someone, walk, do something to get my mind off of food!
i was stressed out last night (I have a lab exam in 2 hours! eek) so returning to old habits means that I went to the cabinet for food. There was no "good binge food" just healthy foods. So you know what I did? I got into my car and drove to the grocery store to buy binge foods. eek. yes I actually went to the grocery store with the intention of wrecking my diet.... hmph.

3. Exams are my trigger! my main trigger. two days before an exam is stressful, but the night before.... that's when I need help. i now know i need to come up with a strategy the night before exams that will prevent me from binging. perhaps I should study in the library? or.... ? hmm just need to figure out a way to avoid binging the night before exams

So I didn't do well yesterday :( but i'm going to work really hard not to let it discourage me and I'm treating this as a learning experience.

Today is a new day! i CAN do this!

best always,
Jasmine

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GLAM_GIRL2B 7/4/2013 2:23AM

    You're always going to have good days and your bad. But recognizing your trigger is always a good step to make your bad days...less bad :)

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GLAZED-DONUT 7/3/2013 5:54PM

    Okay - so, you know your trigger... as for most of us.. STRESS!! I think I would pre-plan something. Perhaps a HEALTHY dinner out? A nice steak, or grilled seafood, with a side of steamed veggies. Takes the pressure from having to cook/clean off, allows you a little time to just chillax outside of house.. just a little mini-break for your stressed brain?
I know how sitting down, esp. when tired and stressed can just be DEATH to a workout. But remember, the time is NOW, the only time is NOW - there is no other time but right now and right now is the best time. Sitting down and sinking into comfort is soooooo appealing, but a workout - even just a 10-min walk will make you feel 110% better than sitting down knowing youre not doing what you need to be doing. PLUS it will change your whollleee mindset - after you finish you wont want the junk and a binge will be a faded memory of passing brain-fart. (-:
Good luck on the exam!! Remember - you are strong... smart... and you are what you consistently do, not what you do on occasion. (hugs)

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SCRIPTEDFLIGHT 7/3/2013 1:03PM

    emoticon emoticon

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ISBJSHAFFER 7/3/2013 9:22AM

    Girl you got this! So glad you're not letting it get the best of you! Keep up the good spirit!
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DARJR50 7/3/2013 8:17AM

  you Can do this. One day of slipping doesn't hurt too bad. Get back on track and slowly make up for it.

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Blog #4 YAY!

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Yesterday was the very first day I did not go over my calorie range! I was so proud of myself. I even went to Denny's with my friends last night to study and watched as everyone ordered pancakes, mac and cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, and burgers. But did I order anything? Nope. I calmly assured myself that the organic supplement shake I had before would definitely tide me over the two hours before I myself would return home to a healthy balanced meal of pasta and veggies. And that is exactly what happened :)
Yesterday, was absolutely filled with small successes. I got all 8 glasses of water in (I usually hate drinking water). In my three hour chemistry lecture, I snacked on healthy blueberries and raspberries instead of running to the vending machine during our ten minute break; I spaced my 6 meals 3 hours or so apart; AND in the afternoon when I felt a small stress binge coming along (I have two exams this week and a quiz so I am pretty stressed!) I quickly ran into my flatmates room and asked her to come along to the gym. YES! I actually went into the gym and lifted WEIGHTS instead of pigging out. I haven't lifted weights in over a year!! I was less stressed after I was done, and my calories remained controlled :)

Yesterday was pretty amazing, but you know what? I'm ready to do even better today!
Let's do this!

Best always,
Jasmine


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ISBJSHAFFER 7/3/2013 9:26AM

    Excellent job staying on track! It's the small successes that let you know that if you can do THIS then you can do ANYTHING!!
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ADAPTOR 7/3/2013 2:28AM

    It is tough to pass on all of those temptations today - you did really well. Be proud. I remember my college years (despite the fact that they were quite a while ago) and as I recall, there is an never ending stream of junk food flowing past you all the time. You will have to call on that inner strength and discipline to hang tough. But I bet you can do it. emoticon

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TIGER_LILY_613 7/2/2013 1:55PM

    Nice ! emoticon emoticon

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JUST-DUCKY 7/2/2013 10:11AM

    emoticon


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RITEEBEE 7/2/2013 9:58AM

    Amazing work!!

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BOBCATGIRL76 7/2/2013 9:55AM

    Way to go! Very successful day! Thanks for adding me as a friend. I've added you back!

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Blog #3 - LOST WEIGHT!?!?

Monday, July 01, 2013

okay so today i stepped on the scale with crossed fingers "just stay the same, just stay the same...." I have been really proud of my progress thus far on spark people (I'm exercising more, blogging, eating healthier etc) but I haven't kept my calories within my spark people range. I always find myself going over by quite a bit. Yes, it's not the greatest, but I mean I never really let it get to me because I could see myself improving other aspects of my health. But, weight.... ah weight. Weight has so much effect on me. I knew that a gain would crush me and I didn't want a slight bump in the scale to discourage me. I wanted to avoid the scale completely today, but I know myself : I run away from the scale when I'm scared of my weight, and once I start running I keep running and my weight explodes to a new horrifying number. So in order to avoid that, I put myself on the scale and forced myself to look down at the number. I lost 3.6 pounds!!! HUH?!?
I stepped back on three times and the same number popped up. I was DOWN!!!! whoa ! cool! awesome! amazing! And with the widest smile on my face I logged into spark people to share my great news! I'm no where near my goal, but it is lower than it has been for at least a week and I'm so proud of myself right now! I LOVE SPARK PEOPLE! emoticon

Best Always,
Jasmine

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GLAZED-DONUT 7/1/2013 4:35PM

    So happy for you. (-: The scale.. oh the scale, we have had such a poor relationship in the past. I could be feeling like a rawk-star knowing I was nailing my nutrition and workouts... but then it would pop out a number which I didnt want to see and within an instant I went from feeling awesome, to an awesome failure.
Just remember - use it as a guide, but not the end-all be-all to all of the effort, time and sweat youre putting in. Dont let that number - 'good' or 'bad' dictate how YOU feel about what YOUR accomplishing. (-:
PROPS!!! Proud of you!!! (-:
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MOMMIE2TWOGIRLS 7/1/2013 2:29PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EMTFF376 7/1/2013 12:47PM

    Hooray! Great job! Keep it up!

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JOHGLO2011 7/1/2013 11:00AM

    You should be proud of yourself - you deserve it! Congratulations on the weight loss too!

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Blog number two! On a roll

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Hello!
So yesterday I did OK on my diet. I went over by 1,000 calories. Many of you are probably thinking um.... Jasmine? Going over by 1,000 is not OK, it's more like TERRIBLE. haha well at first I thought so too. I was so mad at myself. Why did I eat 800 calories worth of pistachios? What was I thinking? Peanut butter? I know that's my trigger food! But then I stopped myself and noticed something. Yes, I ate a lot yesterday! but if you can believe it, I used to go over my calories by SO much more. I used to down an entire jar of peanut butter (I'm an emotional eater). Limiting myself to four tbs of peanut butter was a success for me! Also, not pigging out after my binge was another victory. In the past I would be great with my diet. Then the day would come where I would slip and eat a ton of something that didn't fit into my diet plan. And you know what I would do? I would throw the entire program out the window. I would beat myself up and say you BLEW it, might as well make this a mess up day. and then i would eat EVERYTHING bad in sight probably blowing my calories up towards 5,000. By tracking what I ate and by patting myself on the back for not doing worse, I controlled myself. My whole attitude is better! Heck, I feel like yesterday was one of my best days on spark people thus far. I worked out and I didn't go CRAZY. I'm excited to do even better today!!

Best always,
Jasmine

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOHGLO2011 6/30/2013 3:09PM

    Great attitude! Best wishes to you!

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DETERMINEDAPRIL 6/30/2013 2:40PM

    Great attitude! emoticon

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OXYGEN9 6/30/2013 1:49PM

    Way to go, Jasmine! It's about progress, not perfection. emoticon

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