Monday, July 08, 2013
Yikes!! so it's been exactly five days since i've blogged, and i hate to admit it, but it's also been five days since I've been tracking my food. yes, yes, i know not good. I had a little freak out moment (family stress, final exams, relationship problems--- basically just life). I handled my stress in my usual way, overeating, not exercising, and being as sedentary as possible (pajamas all day kind of sedentary :-/) Basically, I was going to a bad place fast. Fortunately, this morning I had a wake up call. I knew where I was headed because to be honest I've been here before. I thought about all of my new friends on spark people, I looked at old photos of myself, and realized I don't want this. I'm tired of feeling "too fat" "too unhealthy" "less attractive" etc.
I'm ready to get back on track though. I had a set back, but I mean life is full of those right? It took me five days to get back up, but I'm up and ready to try even harder this time!
So I guess this blog is kind of a confession: I think I'm going to need a little more encouragement than I thought... help me please?
I hope everyone had a great fourth of july and that everyone is doing well and on track to better health!
Wednesday, July 03, 2013
Okay so I slipped up and did poorly yesterday. Yes, i binged, which was something I didn't think could happen because I was doing so well. But yes, I sadly slipped up and went way over my calories did not track them... i'm going to track it right after I'm done with this blog though (deep breaths! eek!).
Okay I am naturally upset with myself, but I'm forcing myself to stay on track and I'm taking this as a learning experience instead of an excuse to tear myself down. (I'm definitely my biggest bully). I learned 3 things from yesterday:
1. when I plan to go to the gym I need to go right away!
i planned to go to the gym as soon as i got home but I went into my room, sat down at my desk and well... once I sat down my intentions of going to the gym vanished... :(
2. when I am stressed and hungry do NOT go grocery shopping - I need to call someone, walk, do something to get my mind off of food!
i was stressed out last night (I have a lab exam in 2 hours! eek) so returning to old habits means that I went to the cabinet for food. There was no "good binge food" just healthy foods. So you know what I did? I got into my car and drove to the grocery store to buy binge foods. eek. yes I actually went to the grocery store with the intention of wrecking my diet.... hmph.
3. Exams are my trigger! my main trigger. two days before an exam is stressful, but the night before.... that's when I need help. i now know i need to come up with a strategy the night before exams that will prevent me from binging. perhaps I should study in the library? or.... ? hmm just need to figure out a way to avoid binging the night before exams
So I didn't do well yesterday :( but i'm going to work really hard not to let it discourage me and I'm treating this as a learning experience.
Today is a new day! i CAN do this!
Tuesday, July 02, 2013
Yesterday was the very first day I did not go over my calorie range! I was so proud of myself. I even went to Denny's with my friends last night to study and watched as everyone ordered pancakes, mac and cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, and burgers. But did I order anything? Nope. I calmly assured myself that the organic supplement shake I had before would definitely tide me over the two hours before I myself would return home to a healthy balanced meal of pasta and veggies. And that is exactly what happened :)
Yesterday, was absolutely filled with small successes. I got all 8 glasses of water in (I usually hate drinking water). In my three hour chemistry lecture, I snacked on healthy blueberries and raspberries instead of running to the vending machine during our ten minute break; I spaced my 6 meals 3 hours or so apart; AND in the afternoon when I felt a small stress binge coming along (I have two exams this week and a quiz so I am pretty stressed!) I quickly ran into my flatmates room and asked her to come along to the gym. YES! I actually went into the gym and lifted WEIGHTS instead of pigging out. I haven't lifted weights in over a year!! I was less stressed after I was done, and my calories remained controlled :)
Yesterday was pretty amazing, but you know what? I'm ready to do even better today!
Let's do this!
Monday, July 01, 2013
okay so today i stepped on the scale with crossed fingers "just stay the same, just stay the same...." I have been really proud of my progress thus far on spark people (I'm exercising more, blogging, eating healthier etc) but I haven't kept my calories within my spark people range. I always find myself going over by quite a bit. Yes, it's not the greatest, but I mean I never really let it get to me because I could see myself improving other aspects of my health. But, weight.... ah weight. Weight has so much effect on me. I knew that a gain would crush me and I didn't want a slight bump in the scale to discourage me. I wanted to avoid the scale completely today, but I know myself : I run away from the scale when I'm scared of my weight, and once I start running I keep running and my weight explodes to a new horrifying number. So in order to avoid that, I put myself on the scale and forced myself to look down at the number. I lost 3.6 pounds!!! HUH?!?
I stepped back on three times and the same number popped up. I was DOWN!!!! whoa ! cool! awesome! amazing! And with the widest smile on my face I logged into spark people to share my great news! I'm no where near my goal, but it is lower than it has been for at least a week and I'm so proud of myself right now! I LOVE SPARK PEOPLE!
Sunday, June 30, 2013
So yesterday I did OK on my diet. I went over by 1,000 calories. Many of you are probably thinking um.... Jasmine? Going over by 1,000 is not OK, it's more like TERRIBLE. haha well at first I thought so too. I was so mad at myself. Why did I eat 800 calories worth of pistachios? What was I thinking? Peanut butter? I know that's my trigger food! But then I stopped myself and noticed something. Yes, I ate a lot yesterday! but if you can believe it, I used to go over my calories by SO much more. I used to down an entire jar of peanut butter (I'm an emotional eater). Limiting myself to four tbs of peanut butter was a success for me! Also, not pigging out after my binge was another victory. In the past I would be great with my diet. Then the day would come where I would slip and eat a ton of something that didn't fit into my diet plan. And you know what I would do? I would throw the entire program out the window. I would beat myself up and say you BLEW it, might as well make this a mess up day. and then i would eat EVERYTHING bad in sight probably blowing my calories up towards 5,000. By tracking what I ate and by patting myself on the back for not doing worse, I controlled myself. My whole attitude is better! Heck, I feel like yesterday was one of my best days on spark people thus far. I worked out and I didn't go CRAZY. I'm excited to do even better today!!
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