Saturday, December 13, 2014
This morning checking my emails I found this from Spark and it gave me a moment of reflection...... Coach Nancy says:
You can't always see where you are going, but a friend walking the journey with you may see what you can't.
As I walk this journey I'm walking it with my best friend, my daughter. We live next door to one another and that means we get to meet on the weekends and get a walk or two in. We have a plan and if it is cold in the mornings we head out in the afternoons. We discuss our week, our goals, new ideas, and just vent or laugh. Now I won't say we don't each have our doubts about this journey. Mine really hasn't gone anywhere but up, and she is at a plateau right now. But we don't give up on ourselves or each other.
I guess what I'm getting at here is that we need to have a friend we can count on to push us, guide us, or just be there to lean on. I have that I just don't always use it as I should. Sometimes I walk alone through this journey because I choose to not because I have to. I guess when your just moving along and not really doing anything to help yourself set or reach any goals you don't want others to see your struggle. Or maybe not so much a struggle as the laziness you feel in yourself. Sometimes I feel shame, shame that I say I want to walk the walk but really I'm just saying the words and not living the life. Well I've been thinking a lot about this and I believe I might be ready to walk the walk and talk the talk again.
So starting today, this moment, I'm at 158.2 I've stayed the same this week, which isn't a bad thing, but from here I want to start changing my habits again, I want to begin liking this journey, trying new things, and just being ready for the changes. No more sitting and waiting, I'm going to get up and do.
My plan is simple: My goal is 135
I will work to lose 5lbs at a time, fit into my "skinny" jeans, run longer than a minute, and just plain feel good about myself.
My rewards along the way: A braclet defining my goals to me. A butterfly charm or such to look at and see where I've been and where I'm headed, maybe beads added for pounds lost.
I will begin tracking again. I have slip here and fallen hard. But without tracking I am just eating to eat. I will exercise at least 3 great days a week and get my 10 minutes minimum in the other days, I will get my water by carrying a bottle that I love and keeping it full.
As I proceed I will alter or change as I see fit. I've been on Spark almost six years. It is time to set some goals and follow through.
Thursday, November 27, 2014
I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Take time today for family and friends. The stories you get will outweigh (no pun intended) the food you eat.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
SparkPeople's Coach Nicole says:
Say one good thing about yourself and your body every day. Eventually, you'll come to believe it.
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
Depression, S.A.D (seasonal anxiety disorder), the moods swings, what ever you choose to call them, it hits hard. Those that have it can't explain it, or can't let you know how you can fix it, they just know they are so miserable, really for me the only thing I want is to be left alone. But that isn't what we need either. So really the thing that I want is peace and quiet to get myself back together. But also that can be a catch 22 because if left alone too long I will just continue in this state, but if pushed to much I will just close myself off again. So really it is a trying time for us all. As my husband asked me last night "what can I do for you?" He feels helpless but truth I feel even more helpless because I can't shake it off. Oh I have moments of clarity, like during work hours, I mean I work with the public I have to put on a brave face, and I'm sleeping good. But really other than that.....I just could care less.
I left work yesterday and I had to just cry. I cried all the way home. Why? Couldn't tell ya. Stress of work, stress of home, I have no outlet it seems anymore. You ever just want to get in your car and drive and drive till you run out of gas? I have had that feeling. Just to go where nobody knew you. But that isn't reality. I did purchase my vitamin D to help, because I spend so much time inside during this time of year, it helps with the SAD symptoms. I also am taking my meds for depression, which hubby has asked about and yes dear I don't miss a pill. One other thing a depressed person doesn't want to hear is "did you take your pill" I mean please really??????
Ok, on the Spark front, I have been better in that area. I set up a new journal for my food tracking, trying for ease right now, and so far I've tracked. Good, bad, and ugly. Since this is my first real week on the road to recovery so far I didn't want to lie to myself, and nope I'm not perfect. So the truth shall maybe set me free. Only time will tell and you know what? I have the rest of my life to reach my goals. I hope it doesn't take that long but who knows. If I can't get out of this funk it could be longer.
Get An Email Alert Each Time MALEXANDER4 Posts