Monday, September 15, 2014
Hello everyone. I know my attendance here has been sporadic. When I last checked in, my daughter had gotten married in May, we went on vacation and I was trying to dig myself out of this hole I was in.
Let me first say that I love sparkpeople and everyone here. I want to be here, I want to continue my goals. I will never leave, at least not for long. This is still home for me and always will be.
I have had some serious issues that I have only told a few people about.
Me knee needs to be replaced. October 21 is the day. That has limited what I can do and I really want to be able to be more active so I am going to get it done.
I know being busy is no excuse. I have been busy my entire 4 years of being here but work has exploded. We have expanded our business into Solar and we are crazy busy but that is not why I haven't been here.
My heart is broken. I am devastated. I either eat or can't eat. I dont care about my physical self right now. Sorry. It's just honest. I have cried every day for 2 weeks and I am just trying to deal.
My daughter who married her lifelong boyfriend in May, has caused them to separate. It is her fault. He is devastated. He has lost his best friend, his home, and his wife. I just cannot wrap my head around it. He is not my son in law, he is my son. I just cant get a grip on it. I have dealt with her and made conditions on her living here, like counseling, getting healthy (alcohol etc).
I am sad. Sadder than I have been in a long time. I am dissapointed. I am mad.
It is just a hard time.
Dont give up. I will be back around more. I like it here. I need the support and the inspiration.
Sorry I havent been a very good friend to you all but I sure do think of you all very often...
I will be back. Soon
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
So, last week, I was all rainbows and butterflies and happy, right? I was eating well, felt good, had a great weekend.
Got on the scale this am, looking for my 2 lb reward...NOPE! Gained a half a pound....I literally laughed out loud!
Which brings me to this.
I felt better last week.
I ate better last week.
I moved more last week.
Is any of that diminished because I didn't lose any weight according to the scale?
Heck no. It just means my focus needs to be on doing what I need to do to feel better.
That's it. Its not a number or a reward of a number. Its just every day, eating well, being good to my body, my spirit, my whole self. As I do that, that is my reward. The weight loss is a bonus.
I'm not gonna fall into that trap with the scale. I will weigh on Monday because that is my accountability but I will not allow that to control my efforts.
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Today my sister brought me over my favorite candy... Those sugary orange candies? I said thanks and put them in a baggy in my cupboard.
Then I cut up my watermelon and bagged that up along with some chicken to take to the races today. We will be gone all day so I wanted to be prepared and not eat crap at the racetrack.
I even had to go get ice and I got hubby some m and m's and I didn't eat any!!!
Thursday, June 12, 2014
This is the end of my 4th day. I can't tell you why I am doing things right or well, I can only tell you that I am. I am not trying. I am DOING! I am planning my meals and sticking to it. Every morning, I say I'm going to do something and then I do it. I have eaten salad for lunch and liked it. I have had fresh strawberries and pineapple to snack on and been satisfied. I added zucchini to my pasta tonight because I knew I needed more veggies. You know what?
I am proud of myself. I really am. For the first time in a long time, I am doing this for me..not because I SHOULD or that I'm going to power through it, but because I want to. I deserve to be good to myself. I NEED to eat right and I WANT to feel better.
I bought myself some new shoes because I'm worth it.
I'm tracking my food because it helps me be honest.
I'm here on spark because I need to and I love you guys.
4 good days. I'm happy with that.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Well, kids, the last few days have been pretty good.
I'm planning, tracking, eating well and it feels good.
I'm shaky, but standing.
I'm taking it day by day, but I feel like I'm building momentum.
I'm not ready for any of this but I'm doing it anyway.
The things I used to do routinely, are foreign now, but I'm getting my memory back.
Thank you for all your support and for still being here yourselves!
As each day passes, I know I will get stronger and then I can start giving back to YOU guys, too!
On to TODAY!
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