Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Dear Food
Wether you're junk food, comfort food suppers , or just empty calories you have to get out of my life. I must say goodbye to you. I said goodbye to ciggarettes now it is your time. I know you have been there thru thick and thin. Altho you made me thick when I was once thin. Should tell me that you are really not in my best intrest. Good times were celebrated with happy taste buds but once home and reflecting I was in missery. To of had that veggie plate and fruit and not the cake or brownies. The payoff for both is so clear. Health or Obesity. I think we know where I am at , at this point. I need to be healthy for me.The meds will be changed if not taken away of all of them. Live a better life. Maybe be strong enough to go back to work maybe school and do what I have always wanted to do ........ help others. Theropy isnt helping me with this , so I have to figure this on my own. The bad habbit has to stop in order for me to stop the unessessary bienging along with the emotional eating. He is not gonna be there in the way you want him to be. This is a fact. So lean on someone who believes you when you feel knocked down.
This is possible to do and will be done. Never do you think smoking would be out of your life.......this should be easy. Maybe this would be letting go of all the pain that caused this to a point. It wont mean that the pain is gonna be gone , BUT it will mean I have the control of the pain and not the pain having control over me. The gym is so important. No matter what friend wants to do this or if they say you never have time for me............ if they get over it awesome if not then they dont understand how important this is . And might have to be put on the burner for awhile till its under control.Because right now it is OUT OF CONTROL. The sugar craving is beyond terrible. I want to figure out why so bad for sugar but I cant so stop it and then figure it out once your under control.
Remember that thing called water ? Well re introduce yourself to it. Breafast is a must find food that is healthy and benifit but yet satisfying to be able to keep it up. Then the next week work on suppers to be healthier. If he complains about the groceries or belittles because you have always failed before EVERYTIME , suck it up and work harder. If he needs proff , then I guess that is what it will take. Is that a suportive way no but its the only way he knows how to. You can do this on your own , its all you got.
So water is gonna be a everyday thing and breakfast from now on. The gym and dvd's will be done 5 times a week and 1 day of activity even if it is house cleaning and 1 day to do whatever. Fit in the family when you can because it isnt that booked right now anyways , might not even be noticed that your gone. He will not make you binge eat , do not let the power go over to his direction wether he wants it there or not. It is what is going on in your head so it is real to you. Your better and stronger then that.
One goal I want and shallow as it is ........................ to look good and be happy how I feel when I go to Mi for vacation. Maybe even do activities that I havent done in many years. OK so goodbye to all the crap I have put ion my mouth I can survive without you and just get the hell out of my life. This is one more step toward freedom , getting rid of you is one more thing off my back. Youre holding me back and I cant stand it anymore. I wont lie I will miss you terrible but you no longer needed or wanted for me. I am better then you and can win this for the better life I deserve.
To something I once loved , but they say if you love something let it go , but I dont want you to love me , just let me go. I will be better off without you. I can do this for me........... yep for me. Having other people say wow , I aint gonna lie I want to hear those things but I am aware I dont need them. OK this is it . Get the hell out of my lofe you are no longer wanted or needed in my life. SO long junk unhelathy foods.
Me
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