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The Ripple Effect....

Thursday, July 31, 2014

When my mother showed up at work today....I asked her for a ride home. She quizzed me....wasn't I going to weight watchers? Well.....I would RATHER have a ride home and stay there...then go to wws and back to work. She wouldn't give me one. She told me outright that if I didn't go....I would stop going. She could TELL that I have backed off on my enthusiasm with the program......with me.

She was right. I have. I have NEVER felt this way...so strongly...so deeply....I have felt that I was wasting my time....my leader's time. I didn't belong.

I went. I mean...I wasn't going home to stay....so I went.

The meeting was the BEST meeting I have EVER attended. I am NOT saying it was the BEST meeting on earth, but it was the BEST one FOR ME. It was TRULY like it CURTAILED just for me.

Lisa pointed out what changes we have made.

I didn't see any changes........people were growing......learning.....and there I sat........

THEN....I realized I HAD changed.....I was IMPROVING.


JUICE...ORANGE JUICE. Fought it for 2 YEARS that it wasn't a fruit. I loved my orange juice in the am with my vitamins. Drove me BONKERS to NO END. I couldn't...WOULDN'T...accept the fact I had to COUNT the points...and it was NOT considered a fruit. In exchanges......and even Richard Simmons counts it as a fruit....BUT NOT WWS!

I now eat FRUIT with my breakfast and drink water to get my vitamins down.

I do POWER foods....whole wheat.....rarely do processed foods........


So WHY am I so hard on myself?


Because...I am not consistent. I do well...for so long...then revert back to old ways......and....I feel......disappointed in myself.


The meeting was on the Ripple Effect....casting that pebble in the water and watch the ripples expand...outwardly........

and yet....motion is STILL going on.....underneath....INWARD......


The magic tracker........

I took home today.

Part of me is VERY afraid to have it in my possession.


YET.......


When I started thinking and PLANNING for the week.......and HOW To improve......I realized......

my time is LIMITED in so many ways........

YET...if something is VERY important to me....I shall FIND a way.

I don't watch TV persey.....I do baseball....and those hokey movies on SYFY. TV doesn't interest me. My time is on the computer...and ...while I have cut back tremendously, I can eliminate MORE......if I CHOOSE to do so.

SO....this evening.....I harvested my crops on my farm and didn't plant anymore. I decided to only do FARMVILLE on the weekends.

In the am....before work...I shall go back to the routine of working out instead of computer time. I shall have enough time to touch base with a few friends to make me feel whole and then shall be on my way.

The evenings......is when I shall report my day on the accountability thread to keep me in check as well as see how my friends' day went. It shall be enough.

Being on the right path...is TIME CONSUMING and a LOT OF WORK. It is. AT LEAST...it is for me.


I love being ONLINE...I DO....but.....

today...I realized......that.....that .....I have to be MORE selective in that process.

Today....I acknowledged the fact.....that I have this DEEP need to BELONG........and be around others with the same like mind. I do.

Today....I realized....I DID have that........

I have some VERY good friends.........Kim...Dot...Susie....Amy..
........we all strive to do and be our best....

and....


TODAY....I realized....that I DO BELONG....at weight watchers......in our meetings.......

I do belong there..........

Today....that Magic Tracker....that I have for the week....is

MY RIPPLE EFFECT.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NITTINNANA 7/31/2014 8:11PM

    Excellent blog, Mary!

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A....B.....C.....

Saturday, July 26, 2014

At my weigh in on Thursday, a woman ahead of me had a gain. Immediately I knew she was upset. She had the magic tracker for the week and told the woman.....it was NOT what she had expected. She asked her to give the tracker to the leader....and she left. In her disbelief......she left. I felt bad for her.

My turn.....

I expected a loss as well. I was CONFIDENT. I looked at my book as fast as I could.

It showed a PLUS +

I didn't believe it. I actually CLOSED my book and REOPENED it.....thinking I had not looked at the proper day.

NOPE. PLUS.

I really THOUGHT about joining that woman and leaving too, but I didn't. I went and sat down.....lost in thought.

July has NOT been friendly to me. I always understand my gains. I wasn't surprised 4th of July. I KNEW better. Since then..........


I sat in our meeting...wondering why I was even there. I did. I felt like I was a BIG waste of time. I texted those I usually do and shut off my phone. I didn't even wait for their responses for I had none to give back.

The meeting was good. One woman got her 10 pound ribbon...and she shared that it took her a YEAR to get those ten pounds off....and she was alright with that. Lisa always says...."It is going to take as long as it takes." She also is fond of saying...."The check is in the mail."

I hate that check. My account is going to be withdrawn with lack of funds and overdraft charges.

........I told you I was DOWN. emoticon


I didn't really listen to the meeting........my attention was drawn to the others. So many faces were intent on what Lisa was saying. People were smiling...wanting to share what they were doing...what was working...and they were PROUD...........and yes....they should be.

As we were leaving once the meeting ended.....Lisa.....bumped my shoulder and told me to have a good week. I smiled ever so slightly and said.....YOU AS WELL. I almost cried.



I was so depressed. I was. I went to the store afterwards and shopped like normal. I also.....purchased supplies to make nachos. I consoled myself that if I were to have a gain......I was going to EARN it.

YES.....I DID.


Later that day, my friend Susie called me TWICE....just to talk. She KNEW I had hit bottom.

Good friends are so hard to come by. She understood. She listened. SHE HEARD ME.
Susie has been struggling as of late as well. We made a game plan......START AT THE BEGINNING.......A....B.....C......SQUARE ONE.

I thought long and hard about it. I love SF....I do. Perhaps I need to rethink my portions......

so.......we both decided to go back to POINTS....MEASURE...and WEIGH.

SO...Thursday night.....I got out my measuring tools....my scale.....and a fresh weekly tracker.....for FRIDAY and switched my settings back to POINTS.

When Susie called the second time that evening...I was ready and in better spirits...and we laughed....but we also MADE plans. We discussed HOW we would go forth. Since then...we have texted like mad women.....yet.... we are being accountable to our meals and to each other........I am so thankful I have unlimited text! LOL!

I have to not think about how I feel about myself.....and ......in lieu of those negative thoughts....I am focusing on WHAT I am doing. Susie mentioned making it a game to EARN those smiley faces on etools. emoticon and I have to admit...when MINE do show up....I SMILE.

I will get there......................again..........
.....and stay there................

and when I don't........

I have to remember ...the best place to start.........is the beginning......LIKE A...B.....C.....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNSHINE5268 7/30/2014 8:59PM

    you are amazing, good job!

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JAXMOMMY 7/27/2014 7:21PM

    Powerful as always! Thanks. I have to track! I can't trust my portion sizes without measuring and then tracking! Wishing you success 1 minute at a time!

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FUN2READ 7/27/2014 12:31PM

    always lessons learned. Sometimes you have to step back & regroup/refocus to find out what will work best for yourself!

Start from the beginning & march on forward.......

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PEGGYO 7/27/2014 11:46AM

    emoticon

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GINILEE4 7/26/2014 7:46PM

   

Great Turn around!!!!! You are winning. Remember it is not all about a number on the scale. It is also often, about the lesson learned. I believe , for you this week, the lesson has been learned. Great Job!!!! emoticon


Gini

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HAPPYSOUL91 7/26/2014 6:15PM

    Weight gain and loss begins between our ears - self talk is so important, glad you stopped the pity party and starting fresh. emoticon

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MALAMI518 7/26/2014 5:26PM

    Oh, Mary, I could read your pain at the beginning of your blog. I totally get it. Even though this time I knew exactly why I had a gain, I've had plenty of those "surprise" ones along the way. But then, you turned it around and made a positive plan. I know that you will succeed!

emoticon

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LALATIDAH 7/26/2014 5:03PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HOLDINGMYOWN 7/26/2014 4:48PM

    Hey SIS!
Just so's you know...I AM reading your Blogs and cheering you onwards.
Just not in a good enough place myself to keep leaving you comments b/c I am afraid they will sound too negative...

BUT~~ I do luv ya and I am cheering like mad for ya! emoticon

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SHANTODD420 7/26/2014 4:32PM

    Mary you got this you can do it. We all have ups and downs. I know I have had my many ups and downs. I am working on tracking every lick bite and taste because of you. I love reading your blogs and we have been great friends. I can not wait for the next round to start. But I am ready for a break to right now. I will be checking in on our current team.

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PJB145 7/26/2014 4:26PM

    You started with a negative and turned it into a positive. Good for you. You are lucky to have a buddy to share your WL journey, the good and the bad.

Keep doing what you are doing and I am sure your successful efforts will show up at the scale.

emoticon

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MY INBETWEEN TIME!

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Well....in our BLC wide challenge....we have to write TWO blogs......Since I am on a roll....getting my second one done now! LOL! We are suppose to write what we are going to do now until the next round starts in September. I don't mind this one....I understand it......The underline goal...is to make one think ...plan...and hopefully execute what one is going to do in the interim. How many GAIN weight during the BLC breaks?

I plan on doing what I normally do.

I have a pattern now....and over time, it has gotten easier. When one first starts out, it is hard to always have healthy options on hand. I remember, I would buy stuff......and...never used it. I would have to throw food away due to expiration dates! LOL! I don't do that anymore! I stock what I like...what I look forward too......and keep a list on hand when I am getting low so I can restock next time I go to the store! SIMPLE ...right? YES it is...when you WANT it to be! When you don't.....it gives one a GREAT excuse NOT too!

As far as fitness......I realized I am not some GUNG HO Babe that works out before work. I tried, but that is not me. I work from 7am to 7pm.....not happening. What I do do.....is walk the extra steps at work whenever possible. When we are slow......I do walk....a lot. This time of year...I swim when home at night. I love that.

My downfall .....the areas I need to REALLY work on....are veggies and being consistent. I need to do this DAILY....and not hit a few days here ...and a few days there. I am getting better. I have my active link and my spark tracker. I have to admit. I only wear my SPAT at work, but my active link 24/7. I love seeing my accomplishments they give me. You cannot FUDGE with electronic activity trackers.

In my INBETWEEN TIME....I won't be on the computer as much. I will get my stuff ready for next round....and check in with my friends....but...FOR ME....computer time is so much less. This is the TIME of year to enjoy the sunshine......the OUTDOORS. I am cooped up too much in the winter along with the others! I also ......have found...I do the computer world less and less lately anyways. I want to LIVE life...and not talk about it so much. I am lucky, for I am finding my balance......and it is the best of BOTH worlds.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNSHINE5268 7/25/2014 2:26PM

    emoticon

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JAXMOMMY 7/21/2014 4:57PM

    Balance is a grand thing! i haven't quite found mine yet! Oh, I love to swim too! Enjoy your break! You work so hard and deserve sun, fun and lots of pool time!

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PEGGYO 7/21/2014 11:57AM

    keep on keeping on as usual

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GRLTAZ 7/20/2014 7:53PM

    I so agree with getting outside while we can. I really do not like winter any more. I am struggling on my BLC team because of all the documenting we do. It is easy to do the challenges but much harder to actually document it daily.

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FLASUN 7/20/2014 5:49PM

    emoticon Mary!!!! Sorry we won't see much of you on the break, but I can understand you want to be more outdoors and swimming!! If we had a pool I would be doing the same!!!! emoticon with you on my downfall also...veggies!!!

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SHANTODD420 7/20/2014 5:34PM

    Sounds like a great plan Mary.

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Round 25 BLC...what I liked the most....

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Yes...I am a blogger, but I tend to only blog what I am thinking or trying to sort at the time. It feels OFF to me to blog for a challenge on a team. I feel like the rebellious teenager....that doesn't want too..but going to anyways....for the TEAM.

AND YET........it occurred to me..that perhaps some of my friends may see this and consider joining BLC 26 in the FALL. Would love to have you!

My first round was number 9! To this day, that has been the most special to me. My friend Pamela got me into BLC. She is long gone from BLC..but not in my heart.....or our friendship. Actually, got a few of those fellow teammates...we are still friends, but on FB.

BLC has changed over time, but then again, so have I.

I owe a lot to BLC. I do.

This past round was hard being in the Summer for I like to be outside more....and YET.....others felt the same way and we were STILL there for one another. We have shared recipes.......cheered others as they completed workouts, runs, and made smart choices concerning FOOD. Love it when recipes sound good and the others share them!

BLC keeps me in check.......and I hope others as well. We had our name up in lights a few times, so I would SAY SO!

There are always a few I quite frankly wonder WHY they are there...but that happens no matter what you are doing and no matter where you are. I hope one day it clicks for them and they quit saying that they NEED to do.....or make excuses of why they DON'T. I tend not to feed in to that anymore. I use too....I use to care and try so hard. It took me a long time to REALIZE....I cannot do it for anyone...no matter how hard I was trying...pulling for them. I have enough on my OWN plate to carry me.

SO...I have grown there too. I don't feel guilty....nor that I failed with those ....that don't. They just don't. They may one day....but that day will be THEIRS and THEIRS alone.....and not mine. I always wish them the best, but, to be frank, they don't affect me.

Don't get me wrong, so many DO TRY.....DO DO......and.......I LOVE THAT....I LOVE THEM. I love it when a person is HONEST....and make changes ACCORDINGLY. Let's face it...we all stumble......that is life. YET....we pick up those that have...and cheer them on....CLAPPING....SMILING.....that they got up instead of still laying there....on the ground.

I loved working with the captain and other cos. We are a unit. We have our own responsibilities and TRUST the other to do their commitment. We also support and help when needed. I could NOT even imagine being on a team without what we have. Let's face it...I wouldn't be.

I am proud to be apart of BLC and our team. I am. I am quite lucky.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAXMOMMY 7/21/2014 5:01PM

    And, we are lucky to have you on our team! You have helped me to see that I have to do this! Thanks for being there!

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GRLTAZ 7/20/2014 7:49PM

    Well said Mary. I always enjoy hearing your perspective.

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SHANTODD420 7/20/2014 4:37PM

    What a great way to wrap about this round. I can not believe it is over. I have been with you many times but I do not believe as many as you. See around the boards Mary.

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So spat was down.....

Tuesday, July 08, 2014

As fellow spat owners know....spat went down. The company that supplies our data crashed. I have to admit, it was unsettling at first for I too have become accustom to my friend...RAMBO emoticon He does push me. He does.

I know...I should PUSH myself. 20 years ago, I would have LAUGHED at the thought of an activity tracker. I WAS ACTIVE. I was as a child and throughout college. It was when I "became" an adult I seemed to have stopped. Perhaps it was the responsibilities and stress of life, I forgot to have FUN and be active. Perhaps it was CABLE and SATELLITE tv that caught my attention. Not sure. Yet..I am TRYING to correct that. RAMBO reminds me constantly that I NEED TO MOVE MORE.

SO....spat was down......

I CANNOT believe how fellow sparklers reacted. Some were down right......mean. I understand their stress.....I DO...but to THREATEN to PURCHASE another product was insane. If you didn't like SPAT to begin with...this was a great excuse to use....if not....well.....I feel sorry for you. I do.

Things happen. I felt bad for coacheswhatstheirnames. I did. I felt bad for the company. I did. They did NOT want nor wish this to happen. I am sure it was costly...and the grief their users gave them...added to their STRESS.

We have become a society where we DEMAND it now......NOW. They want that recognition.....NOW. They want the TROPHIES..the INSTANT gratification that I DID THIS...and this PROVES it.

NOW.....my question is this? How many activity monitors does one own? I mean.....SPAT cannot BE your FIRST one. I have a pedometer.....battery operated. I wore that...along with RAMBO. It gave me an idea how many steps/miles I earned. It did NOT post on my tracker for ALL to see. I was okay with that. I also wore my active link via weight watchers. So ..these last few days...I was LOADED down with activity monitors! LOL! THREE of them!

Yes...it was semi frustrating NOT to know when...the unknowing question....when shall SPAT return....granted...I get that...for I was RELIEVED when it came back online this evening. Today has shown up...but not the prior days. It should in time...but if not...IT IS OKAY. IT really really is.

So...spat was down........

and now...spat is up once again....

it may happen again....

like when we have power outages during storms......

like when we have a flat tire.......

like when we have to go to the dentist......

like when....................

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAXMOMMY 7/21/2014 5:05PM

    Until SPAT learns to talk I'll stick with my pedometer! Looking for a talking HRM now since I am having these wierd heart issues. But, considering the WW activity tracker even if it doesn't talk!

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PEGGYO 7/9/2014 5:56PM

    I just didn't like the red light on my computer. Green is my favorite color

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FUN2READ 7/9/2014 3:49PM

    I only own a pedometer that I use for walking. This is enough for me right now.

Hope that your spat continues to work for you & doesn't go down again. These things happen with modern technology & people need to understand this & be patient.

We come from a world that wasn't techno oriented . However, for the younger generation, it is unthinkable to not have something working.

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HEARTOFCHRIST 7/8/2014 11:00PM

    I think the instant gratification is detrimental to our society. Believe me, I am also a victim. I have the Veruca Salt mentality where "I want it and I want it NOW Daddy". It would be nice to know that everyone has patience and understanding when a company is struggling with something specific but most people don't. I am glad that your program is up and running, slowly but surely and I really do pray it doesn't go down again but maybe it was God's way of telling someone to slow down and trust.

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HOLDINGMYOWN 7/8/2014 8:59PM

    emoticon emoticon

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