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University of Health...

Monday, September 01, 2014

Well....tomorrow officially starts my new fun approach to healthy living once again. Summer vacation is over.....and I shall THINK of myself as a freshman and my curriculum shall be......WEIGHT WATCHERS. (what else would it be? LOL)

I remember my freshman year at EMU. I was homesick for awhile and seriously doubting my sanity for attending a school away from home. I felt as though I should have gone to the local community college.....so I could have stayed at home and kept my job at the same time. I missed my family......and I especially missed my dog Morgan.

In time, I didn't miss my friends as much for I was making plenty of new life long friends. Loved my roommate to death! (still do!) When Thanksgiving break rolled around......I didn't WANT to go home! ...yet the break was nice.

I sort of feel like that freshman of years past. I am excited....nervous......and looking forward to MY 1st semester! I have the luxury of being at home......have my three cats......My life really isn't changing as drastically as it did back then.

The only difference....is that I am not surrounded by mindlike friends. I am totally doing this on my own.

Yet.....by doing Body Revolution with Jillian Michaels and her crew.......it is like a class that I shall consider my friends. I never skipped classes....therefore.....I shall add this to my days.

Meetings are going to be like classes as well.

Food prep and planning....are my homework each day.

I am ready.

This week is freshman orientation.......therefore....SIMPLE START program is my week......


Going to be a WONDERFUL FIRST SEMESTER....and if I excell....I literally should graduate.....before Christmas Break.....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HOLDINGMYOWN 9/2/2014 8:03AM

    I love these last two Blogs Mary and I LOVE your concept of going back to UNI and taking your courses in WW's subjects and doing WW;s lessons!
It is an absolute wonderful concept!

I may go to UNI as well but will not be able to make the beginning of the 1st semester....but will join before the Christmas break for sure!

emoticon emoticon

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SUNSHINE5268 9/1/2014 10:20PM

    this is sooooooooooooo Super, I am so PROUD of you! yahoooo!!!!

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HEARTOFCHRIST 9/1/2014 9:40PM

    Go Buckeyes! Hahahaha

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MALAMI518 9/1/2014 8:56PM

    Great blog, Mary! I'm joining you at your University. I may have some slightly different classes, but I know that I'll see you around campus. You are so inspiring and so motivating! And I am finally, really back.

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1CRAZYDOG 9/1/2014 5:01PM

    IF you're not majoring in writing, you should! AWESOME blog, and really fantastic way to approach this journey!!!

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FORZACHANDMATT 9/1/2014 4:18PM

    Love this

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SLLYONS51 9/1/2014 4:06PM

  I wish you every success. Great plans for the first week of WW school! emoticon

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Ist Semester....

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Now that I have not only made the decision, but plans to complete my goals....I feel actually......at peace. I am going to treat my BACK to HEALTHY like BACK to SCHOOL. I like that concept....I do. Now mind you, I could never...nor would want to ...go back to college, but I like the concept all the same. I treasure the time I had there...the memories, my friends, and I just LOVE the thought of new/returning students experiencing their era of a life time.

Mind you, I have not having the LAST summer fling of food these next two days. Oh, part of me wishes too....perhaps will to some extent, but I am showing some restraint and shall log my food all the same. Won't be too impressed with my weeklies I will use up....but I am not totally waiting to start fresh on Tuesday. I would LOVE too, but my week starts on Sunday and I will not change it nor ignore today or tomorrow. Holidays happen....and holidays don't care what day your week starts on weight watchers.

I have set up my upcoming week already and have slowly begun to restock my refrig. Cupboards are never an issue, but fresh produce can be.

I even planned and packed a backpack! I do have program materials including a calculator at work...and at home, but not one for the road. So...when I know I am going OUT....I can take my mini backpack with me .......so I can make MORE of a wise informed decision when it comes to eating out. No more surprises on finding out the point values AFTER a meal out.

Like college days......Friday's shall be fish night....and Saturday's pizza. Yet, my pizza habits have changed over time. I love making my own with flatbread and add a small side salad...and I don't feel deprived nor cheated. (no cheating in college).

Like college, I could never afford chips nor pop. Popcorn replaced chips...and quite frankly, better for you. Popcorn is a power food. No microwave for me...only air popped! Pop shall be a TREAT with pizza night....just like the OLDEN days!

Each night, my homework shall be packing my food for breakfast and lunch for work. Any prep work for dinner the next night shall be completed then as well.

Snacks are always on hand...and a variety for various moods. My snacks are NOT indulgences, but TRULY power food friendly.

Now mind you.....not much shall change in my approach....HOWEVER.....

I KNOW....UNDERSTAND...REALIZE......I CANNOT take the stance that I have done this before...I can do this again mentality.

I am NOT the same person I was .......circumstances.....have changed for me.......

I miss my friend. My spark has dimmed........

and ....yet...the ultimate goal still remains the same.......

my approach has to have a FRESH TWIST .......fresh outlook......

I know this....hence....I came up with SCHOOL......COLLEGE.....SEMESTERS......

and like a NEW SCHOOL YEAR.....I am a FRESHMAN.

For the FIRST week of MY semester....I shall do SIMPLE START.....which is a good program/approach weight watchers gives new members. I ....am like that new student...new member.......with old habits.......a lot of knowledge.....but lacks.....THE OOMPH factor. This shall be my FAST TRACK to college life/healthy ways life.

I too shall celebrate the season of life as it comes........












  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MALAMI518 9/1/2014 9:00PM

    I love this concept, and it's really helping to inspire me! I am going to really apply myself this semester and make it count. Thanks!

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FUN2READ 9/1/2014 10:24AM

    Great concept to help you along on your weight loss journey! emoticon

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NELLJONES 9/1/2014 8:35AM

    Getting a degree and losing weight have a lot in common: they both take time, patience, persistence and hard work.

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1CRAZYDOG 8/31/2014 9:36PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MA_DIDDLES 8/31/2014 6:42PM

    Ok, so now I have to come up with something for when you don't do your homework in my class? Gigglin here. U will probably be my prize student. Its fun to come up with different idea's. I try to think of them when I am bouncing around in the pool doing water aerobics. Good to hear you are getting ready for the 1st semester. I am working on that too. MA

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HEARTOFCHRIST 8/31/2014 4:09PM

    What a wonderful plan!

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FORZACHANDMATT 8/31/2014 12:24PM

    What a good idea - I might borrow it if you don't mind - as my kids to back to school, I will as well - packing healthy snacks and exercise year and being prepared and on a schedule with my health and exercising - thanks!

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Golden Rule Days.....

Friday, August 29, 2014

Even though I love Summer, I truly enjoy FALL. The crisp air I find exhilarating as I take stock over the Summer's Harvest.

This Summer has not been my favorite to be frank. After a long harsh winter, we were cheated out of a nice hot summer. Now....Fall is truly around the corner as thoughts lay ahead to school days.....golden rule days. Alas, my school days are in my past, but I still feel reminiscent all the same. I happened to LOVED school......preferably my college time.

Many families are grateful to get back to a NORMAL routine in their household. My routine never changes from season to season. I don't have children....I work....come home...and start over the next day. So I cannot blame a lack of ROUTINE as far as eating healthy and losing weight are concern. Yet...there is something in the air about FALL....as opposed....to...New Year's Day and those resolutions in losing weight......that makes me feel.....AWARE.

In a recent weight watcher meeting, the leader passed out a card with a saying. The saying was either a short sentence....or one word. On the front of the card, was a small picture. Mine was a butterfly and inside the card.....was the statement....."it is too early to quit."

I was stunned.....I was almost speechless. I turned to my friend Kay in disbelief and told her I got a butterfly. She wanted to know if I wanted to trade for she had a dragonfly. I could barely form my words for my mind.....my mind was truly in a flutter.

Alice LOVED butterflies. My best friend who passed away just three weeks prior....loved butterflies. She did. She was always sending me stickers of butterflies to decorate my food tracker. emoticon

It is too early to quit.


Well.....the day Alice and I were to start FRESH together...was August 3rd.......and that afternoon......I received a call that she had passed away that am.


I have not done well since she has passed away. I have tried....I really have....but...bottomline.....I haven't. I have wanted to QUIT weight watchers. I have felt like I have let down my friend by NOT continuing forward on our FRESH START DAY.
She was truly done now...and here I am......floundering.....lost......

IT IS TOO EARLY TO QUIT....and mine was a emoticon

Kay later told me that hers startled her as well. The dragonfly did not...but inside her card....was the word ....TRUST. She confided in me...that she has an issue with TRUST.....trusting in herself that she is STRONG enough to succeed...and continue to do well.


IT IS TOO EARLY TO QUIT.


How not to quit?


That has been on my mind ever since.......and....with Fall around the corner...and school about to begin once again.....a new year...a new start...... new opportunities........

and I realized......


GOLDEN RULE DAYS.....

Weight watchers is like SCHOOL.....and I can have FUN with it. Oh...not saying school is fun.....but....I sure can make it so! Fun....and yes....work.......work...that I am not only WILLING TO DO....but....the homework to get me the grade......I need to pass.

The syllabus would be the materials provided by weight watchers of course.

The professors would be the leaders....

My tracker the notebook.....and color pens and stickers to apply to highlight my strengths and areas to work on.

Phys Ed....recess....fitness would be my active link.

I guess my report card would be my weigh in booklet.


How to be a successful student? I don't want to be a toddler that stomps his foot in defiance and say NO...I don't want too......and I don't want to be a teenager that says...I DON'T HAVE TOO.

HOMEWORK......and be reasonable with my tasks.

Night times are the perfect way to complete my SCHOOLWORK. Night time was when I have always talked with Alice...and now.....I have just been......loss...that void is HUGE and I am like the walking dead staring off into space and half heartily finding mindless things to occupy my time before I go to bed. SO....HOMEWORK will be completed in the evenings. I shall prep.....prepare...pack my meals for the next day....and KNOW what i am going to have for dinner the next night instead of WINGING IT. Homework also includes...following what the weekly suggests...even IF I have no desire to do so. My weekly TERM paper shall be to tentatively plan out my week ahead.

As far as PHSY ED is concern......my goal is to do the 30 continuous minutes 5 times per week. The active link site has the check boxes it fills when I complete this goal. That has always been my goal......and then...I work on getting to my base line. Depending on the day....I then strive to go beyond my baseline. The active link does a wonderful job in teaching...showing.....encouraging you to always improve in activity. I won't take that for granted now.....but lieu of that.....relish the improvements I have been obtaining...earning.

I like this plan. I like the comparison of the golden rule days....for mine....were.....pleasant....and my incorporating these principles.......I feel......more in control.....more.......likely to ....earn my grade and not become a drop out.

I still need to come to peace that I feel like I have not held up my end of the promise Alice and I made to start fresh together on August 3rd. We made a vow...and ...I have not kept my word. The butterfly...and the words.....IT IS TOO EARLY TO QUIT. They echo in my head....and.....logically.....I know.....in my heart...Alice would not think less of me ..that I did not go forth August 3rd. YET...she is always there.....in little ways...

Golden rule days....

I feel that my master's shall be the goal key......my doctrine ...the life time key........


I got a butterfly....and....

you see...it is too early to quit.











  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FUN2READ 8/30/2014 2:08PM

    Wonderful blog!!!

Fly like that butterfly and be at peace with your choices/decisions. Sometimes you will change course but still soar none the less......

Sounds like you got a good handle on how you want to progress from this day forward.

Remember - baby steps-one day at a time......

Message sent your way-you caught on. Feel blessed by an angel...... emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HOLDINGMYOWN 8/30/2014 11:37AM

    emoticon SIS! xxxx

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FLASUN 8/30/2014 6:31AM

    emoticon Blog Mary!!!!! It is so LIKE Alice to still keep slipping some way into your life!!! SHE know you and doesn't want you to give up!!! That emoticon is a sign!!! You put the "Golden Rule Days" into a wonderful blog and just emoticon ...........YOU are worth it!!!! emoticon

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HEARTOFCHRIST 8/29/2014 8:12PM

    Yea Mary! You always have the best words to say!

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1CRAZYDOG 8/29/2014 7:45PM

    emoticon Tears of joy for you, because that is your Alice telling you!!! SHE is telling you!

You know, my brother died in 1982. Afterwards I felt adrift @ sea too. It hurt. But then something odd happened. I began finding pennies. Random pennies. On the sidewalk, in parking lots, on stairs, everywhere. I put them in a jar. He always loved to read, so my thought was make it a point to start a fund to expand the local library. AND IT HAPPENED!!! Not without it's detours and problems, but it happened.

So listen to Alice! What a beautiful message.


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I believe in Angels....

Monday, August 18, 2014

Just last week.....two nuns walked into the cleaners.....and I freaked out. I am NOT Catholic, but nuns freak me out all the same. One of the nuns.....cried out, "ELKS! ELKWOMAN!" I stood there ....in bewilderment. The last time I had heard those nicknames was in college.......and YET...I didn't know ANY nuns.

Long story short....I went to college with her. Good ole Mary Deane. I couldn't believe it.....I KNEW this woman! She was WILD. I mean...we use to drink beer...play MS. PACMAN.....and.....well...we had fun. She use to enter ALL those contests involving the Rubiks Cube...she ALWAYS won.......hence....even MORE beer money! Mary was only there our freshman year due to academics. Mary didn't study. I had NO clue she was a nun....and she had NO clue I had the cleaners. It was WONDERFUL to see her.

THEN....today.....at 530pm.....two women came into the cleaners. One said.....my name. I was dumbfounded. My mind was racing....and trying to FIGURE out WHO this was! Then...I asked with uncertainty.....SHERRI?

IT was indeed! Also an old college friend! LOL! She even was my matron of honor! LOL! So...I have NOT seen her in 20 years! How could that be? How could I NOT recognize her?

I didn't at first....for out of sight...out of mind...and WHO KNEW? She was in the area and went to all the dry cleaners looking for me! LOL!

SO.....her friend...whom I think is tops....we laughed and talked till I had to close. Her grandmother is in the nursing home down the street...and she will be up on a regular basis. So...we made plans.

Even though.......I had a great time...and felt young again.....I had this morbid feeling........that my life is starting to come full circle.....and .... had this fleeting thought that perhaps I was going to die soon. I did. I did think this way.

YET....I felt so good...so positive...so alive......

that perhaps...these people/friends ...are my angels. Heather yesterday...Mary last week...and Sherri today.

They are indeed angels to make me realize.....that life is worth living.....life is for those that show up........

I knew ....know how to have fun!

I actually......feel...better than normal.........I haven't felt that way in quite some time....mainly due to the strain of the economy....and the losses.....the issues of my teeth.......

but.......

it is okay......

Thank you God for my angels.....for helping me....showing me....and letting me......feel .....grateful for what I have had...do have......and...for life itself.

and for ....

being me.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBB1313 8/21/2014 11:09PM

    I whole heartedly believe that the universe sends us exactly what we need when we need it. That's what happened here. The term used to describe it is different for everybody but you received exactly what you needed at those moments. It's a beautiful and amazing thing! Blessed be.

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GRLTAZ 8/19/2014 11:21AM

    How awesome ! I would not be surprised to find out Alice had something to do with this also seeing how she knew you so well. Prayers work wonders and I am grateful every day for my angel help. Good news at WWS for you, I hope.

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HEARTOFCHRIST 8/18/2014 10:23PM

    Blessings, blessings, blessings.

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1CRAZYDOG 8/18/2014 8:00PM

    I believe too!

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Showing up....

Sunday, August 17, 2014

I have always believed in that Life is for those that show up. I even have that on my spark page. These past few weeks, my mantra has been tested. When Alice passed away, a huge part of me went with her. I almost gave up sparks for I couldn't take it if I had lost anyone else. Basically my thought process was ...I shall leave first so you cannot hurt me. Posting was hard for me......and yet...I still did anyways.

The first week was the hardest. I barely slept....cried a lot...hardly ate....and walked endlessly. The second week....I sat a lot...and ate a lot...and just wanted to stare in space doing nothing.

Today.....a spark friend I have known for quite some time was in my area. She travels in the Summer with her husband and have quite the rv set up. This was the day we had planned on for two months. Heather has always been a good friend......and I was afraid. I was. It wasn't her...it was me. I didn't want to be reinforced that she was a good person.....I wanted to come up with some lame excuse not to meet. I did. It was too soon after Alice...and ....I still wanted to feel sorry for myself....not care about others...for they may leave.

Yet....she called several times to make plans and touch base on her campsite. She was warm...friendly...VERY Canadian. I felt better. I felt more at ease.

We had the BEST time today. We did. My husband and I are rather quiet and thank goodness......Heather and Alex are warm .......down to earth people. They charmed us..by being themselves.....and thus....we opened up and could be ourselves....our true selves with people that....are accepting and non judgmental.

It is funny.....but......I KNEW Heather before today......I did. The meeting.....just clenched that friendship tighter. The bond was always there, but the face to face.......priceless. Just priceless.

I have not laughed so hard in such a long time. I laughed so hard I had to take off my glasses for my eyes could not stop watering. That is RARE for me.

When it was time for them to go.....7 1/2 hours later........I didn't want the time to end......and I felt SAD. I did. I am so glad...I didn't cry. I already miss her. I do.

YES....We did take pictures....Heather asked for my permission. People who are my online friends...have only seen TWO of me......the one in the pool...and the one in my photo gallery. No other pic has been disclosed. Yet...she took a few good ones...and shall crop them better ...and will forward them on to me...once she has wifi again. I shall share.....only then. Not many...but.....I am not one for pictures. Personal reasons...which I won't get into now.

These past two days have been.......deep soul searching. Alice's husband Waymon and I have kept in touch. He sent me the most beautiful letter that I received yesterday. He obviously poured his heart into it. He told me to live life to the fullest...that Alice would want me to do that. .........I knew that...have always known that......but haven't done that since her passing. The grief has been too overwhelming for me to comprehend. Waymon considers me his family.....even without Alice. YET...Alice is STILL here...in our hearts....our memories...our well being. I called Waymon last night...and we talked briefly. He is doing well....and there was SMILES in our voices as we shared. He was touched I got his letter and package. He has received my stuff as well.....

I do miss Alice...I do. I am NOT mad she is gone. I wished people would quit asking me that question. Some want me to get mad. I cannot ...nor will I. She would not have wanted to leave. Now...I realize..she may NOT wish to come back...for I know she is happy....and walking once again.....and yes....dancing as well. I know this.....but she did NOT leave.

So......today......I was with someone that is ALIVE...full of spunk.......laughter.........and a good person...friend......sister. Heather is wonderful. She is.

Life is wonderful. It is . Circumstances can be a tad rough at times....but LIFE itself is grand.

I have really let myself go lately. I have.

I look at people that I truly care about.....and....have horrid thoughts.......I don't want them to go. .....not that I want to go...mind you.......nor them...but....I have these thoughts all the same..........

Yet....that is truly life. You have to value your time......their time....while you can while here.

You also have to value your life...and how you treat yourself.....and again...I have been lacking.

I know what I have to do........and.....I have slid so terribly......that....I cannot just jump back into the healthy regime head first. It would be too overwhelming....too tiring...and just not realistic at this point in time. If I did....I would be setting myself up for failure...and quit.

I am not a quitter. I may ......sit down for a bit....but.....I don't walk away with my hand thrown up in the air....for I do care.....deep down inside I do.

I have to get over the guilt I feel over my friend's passing..........that she is gone...and I am still here.

I am still here........

and life is for those that show up.

This week........I have planned my week out. I am focusing on my active link......and getting in FREGGIES with every meal and snack. I am back to simply filling for that forces me to make better choices in my food intake.

I just want to feel alive again.......and .....not feel guilty for doing so.

Today......

my friend Heather......showed me ...that it was okay .....

to live......

to be alive.......

to show up.....

for life is for those that do.





Tomorrow.....August 18th....Alice shall be celebrating her first birthday in Heaven.

I shall honor her memory.....and live life to the fullest.

Good night my friends.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARONSPARKLE 8/18/2014 10:16PM

    What a very touching tribute to Alice and Heather. Alice loved you and would want you to continue to enjoy life. Heather is just the person to enjoy life with! Today was my day with Heather and we had such a wonderful time together. She truly is an amazing lady and I hope we get just a little more time with her and Alex before they leave our area.

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GRLTAZ 8/18/2014 6:27PM

    Mary, welcome back to life. Alice is dancing and laughing knowing you are getting back into the game we call life. She wants you to succeed and how can you not, knowing you have angel help in your friend Alice. I am so glad you got to meet Heather and I am jealous. I like her sense of humor. She always makes me smile. Loved the snow pics last winter. I am happy you know yourself so well, that you know how to proceed knowing you will succeed. Keep pushing ! (((hugs)))

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HOLDINGMYOWN 8/18/2014 3:44PM

    Awwww....Mary....you are the most sensitive...most beautiful person I know!! ( and tell Greg he is not bad either b/c he and I think alike!! yea!! LOL )

I am glad that my visit with you made you realize that you CAN miss Alice and still go on with your life and live & laugh with others~~Alice will be laughing along with us me thinks eh?

I LOVED my visit with you....Alex and I were really impressed with yours & Greg's *down to earth* ways....NO AIRS! Just being who you really are...I LOVED THIS about you before I met you and now I KNOW you are JUST YOU!!

Love having you as an online wee Sis....you wild haired woman you~~LOL~~xxxx


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FUN2READ 8/18/2014 10:41AM

    emoticon emoticon When God closes a door, He also opens a window.......Heather was your window that allowed you "a breathe of Fresh air" to move forward and continue on living "your" life.

Always the unexpected to help you.

Comment edited on: 8/18/2014 10:42:33 AM

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NELLJONES 8/18/2014 7:54AM

    In the 12 Step Programs you are told to go to MORE meetings when you are stressed or grieving. It's easy to isolate. It's not a good time to meet new people (grief support groups) but the company of kind people that you already know is balm.

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HEARTOFCHRIST 8/17/2014 9:10PM

    What a wonderful statement!

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NITTINNANA 8/17/2014 9:07PM

    I know you've been through so much lately, Mary, that it was wonderful to read that you had a day full of laughter!

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1CRAZYDOG 8/17/2014 8:53PM

    You have to know that Alice would be so proud of you for going on. I remember distinctly feeling this very same way when my brother passed away. I realized that he would want me to go on just as your beloved Alice would. That it's OK t go on!

I distinctly remember, too, that others would tell me how I should feel, what I should be doing. Huh . . . oh really! NOT SO MUCH. I knew I had to do m grieving in my own way. THAT'S how it needs to be.

HUGS to you. So glad that you met up with Heather. Alice would be proud of you.

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CHALLENGER15 8/17/2014 8:25PM

    This is beautiful, and I am glad you got to meet Heather and her DH.

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