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When you are lost.....

Sunday, November 16, 2014

My favorite show right now is THE WALKING DEAD. My favorite characters has always been Carol and Daryl. I love the character development and progression of.....change....strength. They have grown as people ....and yet...the are still human and not always willing to acknowledge that process that got them there ...why they are there.

I have felt like the Walking Dead myself these last few months. I have gone thru the motions of life feeling like I have taken many steps backwards......not realizing just how many forward steps I have gone.

I have felt so lost since my friend passed away. I miss her terribly and perhaps I shall always. Her death had an affect on me that I didn't expect.....mortality. Time is too short and you just never know.....

I cannot say.....I wished I had said this or that.....for.....I did. We did.

It seems like everywhere I go.....I see her.......and...yes...I do.

Over time, Alice sure sent me TONS of little reminders of her....us........

I remember one time...I received a package of photos of her house....her.....all the pets she had. I didn't understand why....but now....I am GRATEFUL to have them.

So many clothes....trinkets.....and notes.

Just last week in one of my work drawers...I found a card....that said..... A NOTE FROM ALICE with a cat on the front...so her. ....the message inside.....brought tears to my eyes.

The private team we have/had......I went to the CHAT THREAD and read the last entries we made. She wrote about how excited she was on August 2nd for August 3rd. August 3rd was to be our NEW Start date for....being healthy. Her last entry.....her last words ........"EXCITED."

We talked that night for over 2 hours......

August 3rd....she had a massive heart attack just before her morning shower.

The next entry....on our team was mine....

Aug 4th...... Good morning my friend in Heaven...........I miss you so........

and..that was the last time I was in our chat thread until.....yesterday.



Yesterday at work......I felt......

a revelation.

I felt.....almost.....complete.

I felt my friend.

She is always with me. ......not just in gifts or trinkets....and trust me..they are plentiful.....too plentiful.....but...I felt HER. I heard her VOICE in my head.....

I have felt so lost.....and....yet....I have made strides lately...without realizing so.

I no longer smoke....and trust me..that is quite a feat for me for I LOVED smoking. I did. I always will....but...instead of being an exsmoker...I am a NON smoker. That is......something.

I have been pouring over recipes once more...and giving them a whirl.

I have started WALKING again....and yesterday....

there was.....a heavy strong STRIDE in my steps...not a shuffle. I was walking with a purpose.

I have been SO LOST...that.....I have actually FOUND myself ...in that loss.



I had a flash of clarity......that........

sometimes you have to go backwards....fall down......stay down.....and slowly get back up......in order to go forward once again.....and by doing so.....you change...for the better......you are stronger...and why you are.....hurts....one you prefer not to have experience........but one that is necessary all the same...in order to...

life....value...appreciate.






SO......I have taken a deep breath.......and started ..not so much anew...but.....a going forth.


My food tracker is FRESH.......

My active link challenge is FRESH... my third challenge just started....and each challenge is 12 weeks long.......

and.........I thought about Our town's New Year's Day Resolution Run for this year. I have always wanted to do it......just never have. The scary part..it is a RUN. The 5k part is for SERIOUS runners. I am more of a walker. There is a FUN MILE RUN....and that is for all the other people....LIKE ME. SO......I have decided...that THIS YEAR ...I will do the FUN MILE RUN. Good or bad....I will do that one.

I will be doing it by myself......and that is okay. I will be by myself....physically...but ...not in my heart nor mind.

I saw this .....and.....loved it....








YEP......

I have wasted so much of my time ....and have taken so many steps backwards....I have been down........and I suppose.....OUT........out at times......

but you see....


I was lost....

but....I found myself.........

and yes....I am better now....stronger.....constantly changing and growing.....and why I am here....is....sad.....but...it is also why....I go forth.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GODZDESIGN95 11/28/2014 7:01PM

    Oh my I am sorry. I know you chose you to were. Hugs. I lost a couple spark friends that were very special to me. and I still visit there page and send them goodies.

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GRLTAZ 11/18/2014 9:09AM

    Oh Mary, I was wondering how you were doing. I try to stop by your page every now & then just to check on you. Obviously, Alice is still watching over you, GF. Thank goodness for that. I am so proud of how far you have come in your journey and I know you will do well. You have such strength. It shows through your posts and the love & support you give so many of us.

I get more melancholy in the winter from less light, cold temps, and not being out in fresh air as much but not this winter. I have decided to be aware of my moods and to be a mommy to myself and gently but firmly correct that inner child of mine. We shall see what that brings but so far, I am doing better than last year at this time.

I hope you post after doing your mile run. I look forward to seeing how you do. Keep pushing because You are so very worth it !! (((hugs)))

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HEARTOFCHRIST 11/18/2014 12:23AM

    Alice would be proud...and so are we.

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SHARONSPARKLE 11/17/2014 6:03PM

    Grieving is a process and everyone deals with it differently. You have been through some difficult days. I know Alice loved you and I believe she watches over you still. The best thing you can do for her is to complete what the two of you started

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SOFT_VAL67 11/17/2014 12:20PM

    I am a big walking dead fan as well and thank you for seeing thru the zombies/walkers.
i have so many people say to me, how can you watch that stuff, well they only see zombie killing.
i try to explain that it is about so much more, survival.
overcoming life that has kept you prisoner to one thing and one place and one name.
as bad as the world is for these people, for carol and daryl, it has freed them.
daryl was a victim of child abuse and a drunk father and mother and brother who used him as a partner in crime.
to afraid to stand up for himself, he broke free from that when his brother was no longer there.
beth i do believe helped him see how much better he is. she helped him see that that life was over for him, he was meant for the world they are now living in.
and carol, the victim of an abusive husband, she is free now too. she has had to do things she never would have thought she was capable of.
i could go on and on for hours about each and every character on this show.
i see what this show is really all about and i wonder how would i survive on this show, in that kind of world.
where all the creature comforts, food and water and heat and a roof behind locked doors are taken away and threats lurk at every turn.
i love the walking dead.

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FUN2READ 11/17/2014 10:57AM

    Keep up your new found strength......it will get you through your going forward in all area's of your life...... emoticon

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FORZACHANDMATT 11/16/2014 10:22PM

    What a beautiful blog and a great tribute to Alice:)

I loved the walking dead episode tonight

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HOLDINGMYOWN 11/16/2014 9:52PM

    Now here's a weird coincidence for you Sis~~See your poster here that says~~
Sometimes when you lose your way~~You find yourself?

Today I found that poster over on FB and sent it via private messages to my DIL over in Scotland.

See...she too is grieving for 2 failed marriages and she is feeling *lonely*. We had a long chat on Saturday evening and then that poster showed up in my face today. She wrote back after I sent her the poster...
Thanks Mom xx

No matter *what* reason we are grieving....it takes time to close one door and see the other one that is open to us....

I think you have found the *open* door now Mary....

I love you! xxxxxx

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1CRAZYDOG 11/16/2014 8:27PM

    HUGS and so glad. Your Alice would be VERY proud, as you're doing what is best for you and that's what she would want.



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Looking for Mr. Goodbar.....

Sunday, October 12, 2014

I haven't blogged on my page in quite some time. I have done so privately, but not for those to read. I had to get my head on straight......I had to be open and honest with myself and......work on the changes I need to make for ME. The bottom line ...it is all about ME and I truly recognize that now. It is OKAY.

Back in 07.........I started my virtual world. I did so in order to escape MY world. The economy was falling apart all around me.....and I needed a diversion. I didn't want to think about the stress I had and wanted fun.....wanted.....friends. Yes...I wanted friends.

I got sucked up into this online world of friends and websites. I flourished. I was on CLOUD nine.

That silver lining for me......has diminished in the last year. I realized that I was TOO involved and didn't have enough time for ......MY real world. I started to notice that people around me were doing the same thing. The art of conversation was in serious trouble. So many are on their phones.......even when they come into my place of business. I hate that. I have to stand up there...waiting for them......costing me time when I had so much to do. That got me thinking........

I see kids...not even really riding their bikes......they are on their cell phones........and just half heartily riding their bikes alone.....

I see groups of people in a restaurant.....at their table....looking at their phones.....and NOT engaging in conversation with those they are with.

I am on FaceBook......watching CAT videos...when....I could be playing with MY cats. I am sharing pictures of NATURE......that someone ELSE posted.....instead of enjoying the OUTDOORS in MY world.

I say I have NO time for making a healthy dinner.......for.....I am on the computer.


I have been feeling this way for quite some time. It really hit me hard this past August........when my friend Alice died. We had talked before how we SEE this...FEEL this.....and NEED to CHANGE this. ....and...then....my friend died......leaving me feeling so alone.....empty. My friend is gone. Gone. She isn't coming back.

No secret I am going to weight watchers. Love the program.....and yet.....hate me on it. I do.

I don't hate me on it......I hate that....I am ALONE on it. I want a friend.....to ......be with me on it.........


AND......


I realize......that....just like entering the online world in 07........I was looking.......for something........that....I already had.......didn't value.......became discontent.

I joined weight watchers.....to not gain anymore.....and in all reality......did need to lose. I know this. ...but....I didn't want to be alone.


NOW....don't get me wrong.....I have WONDERFUL friends online........people I CARE DEEPLY about...and I KNOW they feel the same way for me........I VALUE them.....

BUT....I don't value me.

I KNOW this now. I ...am not accepting this reality.....I am acknowledging this FACT.


I have done a lot of SOUL searching since August.....MENTALLY I have. So much....it has made my head SPIN.........


I have taken my weight watcher meetings to HEART. emoticon I have leaders and people there...that CARE for me.....and....I have FELT so LOST.

This last week we discussed being your own BOSS.

I am NOT my own boss. I want to be the employee and ......not be in charge. I want co conspirators
with juvenile behavior to enable me to continue on my merry way that deep down...is not so jolly. I try to change......and I am not consistent because...it is TOO much work for I truly don't have that much time to put forth that effort. I want to be that ostrich. My head is in the sand.....I cannot see you....therefore you cannot see me....and...end result.....I don't see myself.

I have started to change my online time. I have. My time has been cut down tremendously.....and I am ...actually......okay with that. I relish my own time...outside the computer. I do have a few commitments online..but when they end.....I am ending and shall not return.

I will ONLY keep my friends.........one on FaceBook...and one on sparks. I shall NEVER let them go. I cannot imagine my life without them. Posting once a day...to share..catch up.......is perfect. Time to live in MY world.......and trust me...I have.

Almost every weekend is filled with gatherings. My husband's brother and his wife have moved to the thumb area from Virginia. They have a farm now....and we take turns at each other's place on the weekends. At first.....it was too much for me......for...yes...my time is limited....but......now.......I like it. I do.

I horseback ride once again....







I walk........I feed chickens...........

and I look at the scenery around me......and......at home...I enjoy my home......my life......and I have become MY OWN BOSS with how I spend my time away from work......MY MIND.

BUT.....it doesn't stop there.......and......I am working on my nutrition.....by being MY OWN BOSS with how I fuel MY BODY.

My real world people....aren't there.........and they seem to LOVE....THRIVE .....on the fact....that ...I am NOT consistent........that.....they try to get me ....to NOT convert to the new ways that I am trying to conceive. I get that...I see that....I understand that....for it makes them acknowledge they don't do that.....and thus..the excuses commence. You cannot pull the wool over a pro like me.

YET...

IF I TRULY WISH TO CHANGE...BE CONSISTENT......I have to BE MY OWN BOSS.......and a GOOD BOSS..does NOT make others around them.....feel...bad about themselves. Employees may do that.....bad ones.....BUT a GOOD BOSS does not. A good boss PLANS.....and .....has the tools to commence with those plans...and that is what I did this weekend. My first weekend...I was BOSS of MYSELF.

My husband....his brother and his wife......eat junk all day long...and a HUGE meal at night. I too was joining them..and I realized...I had to stop. I WANT TO STOP.

So.....I DID.


While they ate doughnuts for breakfast.....I brought my oatmeal. I sat at the table....and ate my oatmeal with a fruit bowl.

Naturally ...they were hungry shortly afterwards.....I was NOT. They ate more junk........

I packed...and brought my own food....easy foods...so they would NOT inconvenient anyone.

I ate at the table...by myself....taking my time.


It was eye opening experience for me.

I was actually PROUD of myself. I didn't brag....didn't point out what I was doing.....or they were....or were not....no fingers pointing. No smugness.

I did observe....that....even though they all had LESS to lose then myself....I was healthier. BIL is a true diabetic. He has to wear a pump at all times. SIL.......has to have breathing treatments.....has heart issues with high blood pressure. My husband gets winded and tired a lot.

ME....I had energy.

When everyone was in bed....I sat outside.....and enjoyed the sky. So many stars to see......quiet time. The outdoor cat kept me company.....sitting in my lap...purring...loving me as I petted her. I stared at the stars..........and picked out the different ones that I could remember from my astronomy class of long ago.

It was truly a quiet time.....my quiet time....and ....

I did NOT feel alone.

I thought of those inside sleeping.......

I thought of the friends I treasure....

I even thought of my eating at the table by myself.......and I have to admit....I hate that. I do. YET....I do understand....why they all don't. They grew up in large families and it was fend for yourself. The evening meal was buffet style...and they all stood around the kitchen.......making sure they got their share. I understand that.

YET...I was my own Boss....knowing...that sitting down...taking my time...VALUING what I am eating...makes me....slow down.....and realize.....being aware.......that is what I have to do. Perhaps one day.....someone will sit with me.......

and....as I sipped on my night cap....the one I had allotted for...........I gazed into the sky....

and ....

I did not feel alone.








  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHANTODD420 10/14/2014 8:08AM

    Love the blog Mary and you are so right. We need to find our own me time and flourish with it. That is my gym time and trying to find other things as well when the kids are at school.

Hugs,
shannon

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SUNSHINE5268 10/13/2014 11:28PM

    welcome to the world of technology ...its how we keep connected :)

Like you, I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee my "me time" ... its like a slice of heaven emoticon

huggiesssssssssssssss

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A-STRONGER-ME 10/13/2014 8:31AM

    Just - WOW!

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HEARTOFCHRIST 10/12/2014 11:15PM

    I love you! This is awesome.

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CHANGINGEMMY 10/12/2014 10:06PM

    Awesome blog!!! I'm sorry about the loss of your friend. Hugs!!! You should be very proud of you! You are taking control of you and that is very difficult. I was just thinking about this myself. How often I don't boss myself in situations. Keep up the hard work!!!

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MA_DIDDLES 10/12/2014 9:15PM

    Mary - I sure hope it all works out for you. I sure know where you are coming from. I don't always like getting hung up on the computer with commitments either. I would much rather be in the pool, or out biking or walking or working in my yard or garden. I don't watch TV,,,,I guess I count that as computer time. I can't say I socialize much, because it is usually about food. I can't seem to develop the discipline to just eat a little at Pot Lucks and such, so I just don't go.

And I am so sorry about your good friend Alice. When one starts losing family and best friends, We start realizing how every day is a gift and how important it is to spend time with people near and dear to us. We lost 4-5 people this past month in our over 55 retirement MHP, not to mention my sister in March and my 53 yr old son in July. Death is not always an easy thing to deal with. I have been blessed with good health and I do try to stay healthy because I enjoying living, but my time will come I can be sure of that.

Anyway, thank you dear lady for being my Spark Friend. You know I would miss you if you decided to leave, but you are right - We all gotta be our own Boss and do what we think is best for us. ((HUGS)) to ya. MA

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PEGGYO 10/12/2014 8:36PM

    You know that I'm you dependable friend and usually say the same thing.


Keep on keeping on.

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HOLDINGMYOWN 10/12/2014 7:58PM

    emoticon emoticon Mary~~
There are two really good points here for me...
1) I too, HATE that there is so much computer/phone time by everyone around me. I have friends who email me...EAMIL ME...when they live in the same town as me. For goodness sake~~pick up the phone you guys!
My next door neighbor started private messaging me on FB and started telling me all about her Mom in hosp....
I wrote back and said...this is silly...come on over to tell me all that..I will put on the kettle! She did and we spent a wonderful few hours chatting and catching up.
I am too old fashioned to be computer/phone bound....nd I refuse to *become* like everyone else!

2) I love ALL my friends and family. Those online and those in the flesh! ( I now consider you as one in the flesh! LOL ) But I too, enjoy MY time. I do a lot of the work around our yard etc...here but with a purpose in mind!~~I love this time alone. Today I spent several hours our decorating for Halloween. Alex stayed inside for the most of this ( only came to help when there was something I could not do alone. So I think ( and sometimes even *over* think ) things going on in my life around me...
It gives me time to sort out the bad from the good and then to feel *fresh* and cleansed from the bad feelings....fresh outdoor air and sunshine does one wonders!

emoticon with your Blog BIG time MAry my friend and online Sis!! xxxx

Comment edited on: 10/12/2014 8:00:51 PM

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1CRAZYDOG 10/12/2014 7:05PM

    You have such an important msg and I am so glad that you've blogged about it. I really do feel lots of problems couled be circumvented if people just talked to each other . . . face-to-face, REAL time., I am happy for you that you've found support @ WW. I did WW many years ago. It's all about finding what works for you!

HUGS

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PRAIRIECROCUS 10/12/2014 6:59PM

    Fascinating blog !
ALL THE BEST !

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ClassRAYS

Sunday, September 07, 2014

Last week I decided to jazz up my approach to healthy living by taking the approach of back to school....yet...my school is COLLEGE....hence UNIVERSITY OF HEALTHY LIVING!





I graduated from EASTERN MICHIGAN UNIVERSITY!




Unlike many first year students....I did NOT gain that FRESHMAN 15!

I was active. I walked everywhere and even used the RECIM building for emoticon emoticon

I was select when eating in the dining commons emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

I would verve off course only twice per week.....Thursday was also nachos night and Saturday was emoticon emoticon Both nights were also DANCING NIGHTS! emoticon


SO........new school year.....new approach.....past not welcomed!

I have been having FUN with this and many have jumped on board!

The Stingrays have really made me smile! They have gone with the flow......and Melissa came up with CLASSRAYS....home ec.......and Janice talks about Phys Ed...and has QOTD in reference to school days gone by. We see each other on campus...and it is.......

ENCOURAGING.......

I have been focused yet once again.

I weighed in this am....and did show a loss........oh so much better than those GAINS I have had all summer long!


A few times this week....I almost waived......but did NOT. I reminded myself...that I was BACK in school....and this was ONLY the first week of the semester...and it shall get EASIER.....

and it did.

Just yesterday, my husband and I went out to breakfast. We go the first Saturday of the month. Last week we did not due to Labor Day Weekend. Breakfast out is my FAVORITE meal. So many choices for foods that I don't make at home!

I glanced at that menu. I was tempted.

Then....I realized..that even though I had enough weeklies to COVER whatever I chose.......it was okay.......to PASS. I had oatmeal...and put honey in it as opposed to brown sugar. It was.....scrumptious. I was satisfied........and...I FELT PROUD! emoticon


In college.....Saturday night was ALWAYS emoticon

Last night...we went out to eat for my brother was in town and we ended up at a pizza place. Glad I had my oatmeal.....for my weeklies could be used now for something I truly enjoy! This was NOT the flatbread pizza I make at home on Saturday!

YET,.....I thought carefully....... emoticon

I was the ONLY one to order a salad beforehand. ....and I got my favorite...spinach salad....7 points! It was WELL worth it! Instead of sharing in a mega pizza......I ordered a SMALL personal pizza for ONE. Light cheese....and veggies. Trust me...the pieces were .....small....but...it was okay! Two slices were like having ONE regular slice of pizza....and I felt ......like I had hit the lottery! I had TWO pieces!


I must admit....I did have FUN this week.........and...I also caught myself a few times......but....I gently reminded myself that I was BACK IN SCHOOL. ...and it was not quite the tormented struggle I have had in the past. I was prepared......I did my homework every night....prepping...preparing....planning for the next day.......so IF pop quizzes came in play....I was READY for them....and did not CHOKE.

Week one.....an A all the way!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRLTAZ 10/3/2014 6:57PM

    Mary, how fun to be back in school! LOL !! Great choices ! So very proud of you and I can see you were ok with the choices you made. That can be half the battle sometimes ( our other half brain complaining whining, etc). Good job. I can see you graduating with honors. emoticon TC

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CHALLENGER15 9/26/2014 6:29AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SWEETNEEY 9/19/2014 8:19AM

    What a wonderful way to make the past come to life.

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PEGGYO 9/9/2014 3:47PM

    September was always one of my favorite months. I loved that new feeling of back to school.

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SHANTODD420 9/8/2014 7:15PM

    Wahoo way to go Mary sounds like you had a great week. I am trying to find a new way for every thing with the kids being so busy as well.

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JAXMOMMY 9/8/2014 5:26PM

    I love the back to school theme Mary! The emotions have had me doing less than I am able to do in my classes, but I'll be back on track and able to pass this semester with a loss! Thanks for the idea! Thanks for being you!

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MALAMI518 9/7/2014 10:11PM

    Great job! I also have had several moments where I've caught myself because I didn't want to impact my "school work" or let down my classmates. It's a good way to get back into healthy habits.

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HEARTOFCHRIST 9/7/2014 5:34PM

    Great job! I'm so glad that you listened to that still small voice inside guiding you.

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1CRAZYDOG 9/7/2014 2:09PM

    emoticon

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KELLYFROG 9/7/2014 11:09AM

    A+ for your first week back in school! So glad to be on such a great team!!

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University of Health...

Monday, September 01, 2014

Well....tomorrow officially starts my new fun approach to healthy living once again. Summer vacation is over.....and I shall THINK of myself as a freshman and my curriculum shall be......WEIGHT WATCHERS. (what else would it be? LOL)

I remember my freshman year at EMU. I was homesick for awhile and seriously doubting my sanity for attending a school away from home. I felt as though I should have gone to the local community college.....so I could have stayed at home and kept my job at the same time. I missed my family......and I especially missed my dog Morgan.

In time, I didn't miss my friends as much for I was making plenty of new life long friends. Loved my roommate to death! (still do!) When Thanksgiving break rolled around......I didn't WANT to go home! ...yet the break was nice.

I sort of feel like that freshman of years past. I am excited....nervous......and looking forward to MY 1st semester! I have the luxury of being at home......have my three cats......My life really isn't changing as drastically as it did back then.

The only difference....is that I am not surrounded by mindlike friends. I am totally doing this on my own.

Yet.....by doing Body Revolution with Jillian Michaels and her crew.......it is like a class that I shall consider my friends. I never skipped classes....therefore.....I shall add this to my days.

Meetings are going to be like classes as well.

Food prep and planning....are my homework each day.

I am ready.

This week is freshman orientation.......therefore....SIMPLE START program is my week......


Going to be a WONDERFUL FIRST SEMESTER....and if I excell....I literally should graduate.....before Christmas Break.....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAXMOMMY 9/4/2014 7:19PM

    Don't know how, but I missed this blog! glad I am visiting the team thread, so I could enroll with you! I gained 1.4 this past week, so time to get back to the basics! I am scared to put Phillip in the computer that I will find I' m not working out as hard as I feel! Funny thing is that years ago I would've hated physEd! I would've come up with any excuse not to do it and I was a skinny, just thought I was fat, teenager! Now I love working out! I had to miss my WW class yesterday due to illness and today my MIL wouldn't stay. I'm a slave to the wrong kind of peer pressure.... The kind for which I dpend on rides! Grrrr! But, I'm enrolled with you and ready to make this a fabulous and successful semester!

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PEGGYO 9/2/2014 7:51PM

    Keep on keeping on!

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HOLDINGMYOWN 9/2/2014 8:03AM

    I love these last two Blogs Mary and I LOVE your concept of going back to UNI and taking your courses in WW's subjects and doing WW;s lessons!
It is an absolute wonderful concept!

I may go to UNI as well but will not be able to make the beginning of the 1st semester....but will join before the Christmas break for sure!

emoticon emoticon

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SUNSHINE5268 9/1/2014 10:20PM

    this is sooooooooooooo Super, I am so PROUD of you! yahoooo!!!!

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HEARTOFCHRIST 9/1/2014 9:40PM

    Go Buckeyes! Hahahaha

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MALAMI518 9/1/2014 8:56PM

    Great blog, Mary! I'm joining you at your University. I may have some slightly different classes, but I know that I'll see you around campus. You are so inspiring and so motivating! And I am finally, really back.

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1CRAZYDOG 9/1/2014 5:01PM

    IF you're not majoring in writing, you should! AWESOME blog, and really fantastic way to approach this journey!!!

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FORZACHANDMATT 9/1/2014 4:18PM

    Love this

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SLLYONS51 9/1/2014 4:06PM

  I wish you every success. Great plans for the first week of WW school! emoticon

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Ist Semester....

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Now that I have not only made the decision, but plans to complete my goals....I feel actually......at peace. I am going to treat my BACK to HEALTHY like BACK to SCHOOL. I like that concept....I do. Now mind you, I could never...nor would want to ...go back to college, but I like the concept all the same. I treasure the time I had there...the memories, my friends, and I just LOVE the thought of new/returning students experiencing their era of a life time.

Mind you, I have not having the LAST summer fling of food these next two days. Oh, part of me wishes too....perhaps will to some extent, but I am showing some restraint and shall log my food all the same. Won't be too impressed with my weeklies I will use up....but I am not totally waiting to start fresh on Tuesday. I would LOVE too, but my week starts on Sunday and I will not change it nor ignore today or tomorrow. Holidays happen....and holidays don't care what day your week starts on weight watchers.

I have set up my upcoming week already and have slowly begun to restock my refrig. Cupboards are never an issue, but fresh produce can be.

I even planned and packed a backpack! I do have program materials including a calculator at work...and at home, but not one for the road. So...when I know I am going OUT....I can take my mini backpack with me .......so I can make MORE of a wise informed decision when it comes to eating out. No more surprises on finding out the point values AFTER a meal out.

Like college days......Friday's shall be fish night....and Saturday's pizza. Yet, my pizza habits have changed over time. I love making my own with flatbread and add a small side salad...and I don't feel deprived nor cheated. (no cheating in college).

Like college, I could never afford chips nor pop. Popcorn replaced chips...and quite frankly, better for you. Popcorn is a power food. No microwave for me...only air popped! Pop shall be a TREAT with pizza night....just like the OLDEN days!

Each night, my homework shall be packing my food for breakfast and lunch for work. Any prep work for dinner the next night shall be completed then as well.

Snacks are always on hand...and a variety for various moods. My snacks are NOT indulgences, but TRULY power food friendly.

Now mind you.....not much shall change in my approach....HOWEVER.....

I KNOW....UNDERSTAND...REALIZE......I CANNOT take the stance that I have done this before...I can do this again mentality.

I am NOT the same person I was .......circumstances.....have changed for me.......

I miss my friend. My spark has dimmed........

and ....yet...the ultimate goal still remains the same.......

my approach has to have a FRESH TWIST .......fresh outlook......

I know this....hence....I came up with SCHOOL......COLLEGE.....SEMESTERS......

and like a NEW SCHOOL YEAR.....I am a FRESHMAN.

For the FIRST week of MY semester....I shall do SIMPLE START.....which is a good program/approach weight watchers gives new members. I ....am like that new student...new member.......with old habits.......a lot of knowledge.....but lacks.....THE OOMPH factor. This shall be my FAST TRACK to college life/healthy ways life.

I too shall celebrate the season of life as it comes........












  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAXMOMMY 9/4/2014 7:27PM

    Quite the inspiring concept for many it seems.... Including me!You wouldn't be the loving, caring supportive friend you are if your Spark did not dim! But, it dimmed, it did not go out!You will always have your very own angel cheerleader encouraging and motivating you to eat this, not that and do this, not that! I love the flat bread pizzas too and need to stock up and do like you said and get on a college eating plan, but only healthy! Healthy pizza! Healthy fish on Friday! Lots of walking and classes that include exercise! Thanks Mary for always holding up the Spark to guide yourself and others, even if it is a bit dim right now!

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MALAMI518 9/1/2014 9:00PM

    I love this concept, and it's really helping to inspire me! I am going to really apply myself this semester and make it count. Thanks!

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FUN2READ 9/1/2014 10:24AM

    Great concept to help you along on your weight loss journey! emoticon

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NELLJONES 9/1/2014 8:35AM

    Getting a degree and losing weight have a lot in common: they both take time, patience, persistence and hard work.

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1CRAZYDOG 8/31/2014 9:36PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MA_DIDDLES 8/31/2014 6:42PM

    Ok, so now I have to come up with something for when you don't do your homework in my class? Gigglin here. U will probably be my prize student. Its fun to come up with different idea's. I try to think of them when I am bouncing around in the pool doing water aerobics. Good to hear you are getting ready for the 1st semester. I am working on that too. MA

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HEARTOFCHRIST 8/31/2014 4:09PM

    What a wonderful plan!

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FORZACHANDMATT 8/31/2014 12:24PM

    What a good idea - I might borrow it if you don't mind - as my kids to back to school, I will as well - packing healthy snacks and exercise year and being prepared and on a schedule with my health and exercising - thanks!

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