MASTERCARE   199,052
SparkPoints
100,000 or more SparkPoints
 
 
MASTERCARE's Recent Blog Entries

MY INBETWEEN TIME!

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Well....in our BLC wide challenge....we have to write TWO blogs......Since I am on a roll....getting my second one done now! LOL! We are suppose to write what we are going to do now until the next round starts in September. I don't mind this one....I understand it......The underline goal...is to make one think ...plan...and hopefully execute what one is going to do in the interim. How many GAIN weight during the BLC breaks?

I plan on doing what I normally do.

I have a pattern now....and over time, it has gotten easier. When one first starts out, it is hard to always have healthy options on hand. I remember, I would buy stuff......and...never used it. I would have to throw food away due to expiration dates! LOL! I don't do that anymore! I stock what I like...what I look forward too......and keep a list on hand when I am getting low so I can restock next time I go to the store! SIMPLE ...right? YES it is...when you WANT it to be! When you don't.....it gives one a GREAT excuse NOT too!

As far as fitness......I realized I am not some GUNG HO Babe that works out before work. I tried, but that is not me. I work from 7am to 7pm.....not happening. What I do do.....is walk the extra steps at work whenever possible. When we are slow......I do walk....a lot. This time of year...I swim when home at night. I love that.

My downfall .....the areas I need to REALLY work on....are veggies and being consistent. I need to do this DAILY....and not hit a few days here ...and a few days there. I am getting better. I have my active link and my spark tracker. I have to admit. I only wear my SPAT at work, but my active link 24/7. I love seeing my accomplishments they give me. You cannot FUDGE with electronic activity trackers.

In my INBETWEEN TIME....I won't be on the computer as much. I will get my stuff ready for next round....and check in with my friends....but...FOR ME....computer time is so much less. This is the TIME of year to enjoy the sunshine......the OUTDOORS. I am cooped up too much in the winter along with the others! I also ......have found...I do the computer world less and less lately anyways. I want to LIVE life...and not talk about it so much. I am lucky, for I am finding my balance......and it is the best of BOTH worlds.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAXMOMMY 7/21/2014 4:57PM

    Balance is a grand thing! i haven't quite found mine yet! Oh, I love to swim too! Enjoy your break! You work so hard and deserve sun, fun and lots of pool time!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PEGGYO 7/21/2014 11:57AM

    keep on keeping on as usual

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRLTAZ 7/20/2014 7:53PM

    I so agree with getting outside while we can. I really do not like winter any more. I am struggling on my BLC team because of all the documenting we do. It is easy to do the challenges but much harder to actually document it daily.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FLASUN 7/20/2014 5:49PM

    emoticon Mary!!!! Sorry we won't see much of you on the break, but I can understand you want to be more outdoors and swimming!! If we had a pool I would be doing the same!!!! emoticon with you on my downfall also...veggies!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHANTODD420 7/20/2014 5:34PM

    Sounds like a great plan Mary.

Report Inappropriate Comment


Round 25 BLC...what I liked the most....

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Yes...I am a blogger, but I tend to only blog what I am thinking or trying to sort at the time. It feels OFF to me to blog for a challenge on a team. I feel like the rebellious teenager....that doesn't want too..but going to anyways....for the TEAM.

AND YET........it occurred to me..that perhaps some of my friends may see this and consider joining BLC 26 in the FALL. Would love to have you!

My first round was number 9! To this day, that has been the most special to me. My friend Pamela got me into BLC. She is long gone from BLC..but not in my heart.....or our friendship. Actually, got a few of those fellow teammates...we are still friends, but on FB.

BLC has changed over time, but then again, so have I.

I owe a lot to BLC. I do.

This past round was hard being in the Summer for I like to be outside more....and YET.....others felt the same way and we were STILL there for one another. We have shared recipes.......cheered others as they completed workouts, runs, and made smart choices concerning FOOD. Love it when recipes sound good and the others share them!

BLC keeps me in check.......and I hope others as well. We had our name up in lights a few times, so I would SAY SO!

There are always a few I quite frankly wonder WHY they are there...but that happens no matter what you are doing and no matter where you are. I hope one day it clicks for them and they quit saying that they NEED to do.....or make excuses of why they DON'T. I tend not to feed in to that anymore. I use too....I use to care and try so hard. It took me a long time to REALIZE....I cannot do it for anyone...no matter how hard I was trying...pulling for them. I have enough on my OWN plate to carry me.

SO...I have grown there too. I don't feel guilty....nor that I failed with those ....that don't. They just don't. They may one day....but that day will be THEIRS and THEIRS alone.....and not mine. I always wish them the best, but, to be frank, they don't affect me.

Don't get me wrong, so many DO TRY.....DO DO......and.......I LOVE THAT....I LOVE THEM. I love it when a person is HONEST....and make changes ACCORDINGLY. Let's face it...we all stumble......that is life. YET....we pick up those that have...and cheer them on....CLAPPING....SMILING.....that they got up instead of still laying there....on the ground.

I loved working with the captain and other cos. We are a unit. We have our own responsibilities and TRUST the other to do their commitment. We also support and help when needed. I could NOT even imagine being on a team without what we have. Let's face it...I wouldn't be.

I am proud to be apart of BLC and our team. I am. I am quite lucky.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAXMOMMY 7/21/2014 5:01PM

    And, we are lucky to have you on our team! You have helped me to see that I have to do this! Thanks for being there!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRLTAZ 7/20/2014 7:49PM

    Well said Mary. I always enjoy hearing your perspective.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHANTODD420 7/20/2014 4:37PM

    What a great way to wrap about this round. I can not believe it is over. I have been with you many times but I do not believe as many as you. See around the boards Mary.

Report Inappropriate Comment


So spat was down.....

Tuesday, July 08, 2014

As fellow spat owners know....spat went down. The company that supplies our data crashed. I have to admit, it was unsettling at first for I too have become accustom to my friend...RAMBO emoticon He does push me. He does.

I know...I should PUSH myself. 20 years ago, I would have LAUGHED at the thought of an activity tracker. I WAS ACTIVE. I was as a child and throughout college. It was when I "became" an adult I seemed to have stopped. Perhaps it was the responsibilities and stress of life, I forgot to have FUN and be active. Perhaps it was CABLE and SATELLITE tv that caught my attention. Not sure. Yet..I am TRYING to correct that. RAMBO reminds me constantly that I NEED TO MOVE MORE.

SO....spat was down......

I CANNOT believe how fellow sparklers reacted. Some were down right......mean. I understand their stress.....I DO...but to THREATEN to PURCHASE another product was insane. If you didn't like SPAT to begin with...this was a great excuse to use....if not....well.....I feel sorry for you. I do.

Things happen. I felt bad for coacheswhatstheirnames. I did. I felt bad for the company. I did. They did NOT want nor wish this to happen. I am sure it was costly...and the grief their users gave them...added to their STRESS.

We have become a society where we DEMAND it now......NOW. They want that recognition.....NOW. They want the TROPHIES..the INSTANT gratification that I DID THIS...and this PROVES it.

NOW.....my question is this? How many activity monitors does one own? I mean.....SPAT cannot BE your FIRST one. I have a pedometer.....battery operated. I wore that...along with RAMBO. It gave me an idea how many steps/miles I earned. It did NOT post on my tracker for ALL to see. I was okay with that. I also wore my active link via weight watchers. So ..these last few days...I was LOADED down with activity monitors! LOL! THREE of them!

Yes...it was semi frustrating NOT to know when...the unknowing question....when shall SPAT return....granted...I get that...for I was RELIEVED when it came back online this evening. Today has shown up...but not the prior days. It should in time...but if not...IT IS OKAY. IT really really is.

So...spat was down........

and now...spat is up once again....

it may happen again....

like when we have power outages during storms......

like when we have a flat tire.......

like when we have to go to the dentist......

like when....................

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAXMOMMY 7/21/2014 5:05PM

    Until SPAT learns to talk I'll stick with my pedometer! Looking for a talking HRM now since I am having these wierd heart issues. But, considering the WW activity tracker even if it doesn't talk!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PEGGYO 7/9/2014 5:56PM

    I just didn't like the red light on my computer. Green is my favorite color

Report Inappropriate Comment
FUN2READ 7/9/2014 3:49PM

    I only own a pedometer that I use for walking. This is enough for me right now.

Hope that your spat continues to work for you & doesn't go down again. These things happen with modern technology & people need to understand this & be patient.

We come from a world that wasn't techno oriented . However, for the younger generation, it is unthinkable to not have something working.

Report Inappropriate Comment
HEARTOFCHRIST 7/8/2014 11:00PM

    I think the instant gratification is detrimental to our society. Believe me, I am also a victim. I have the Veruca Salt mentality where "I want it and I want it NOW Daddy". It would be nice to know that everyone has patience and understanding when a company is struggling with something specific but most people don't. I am glad that your program is up and running, slowly but surely and I really do pray it doesn't go down again but maybe it was God's way of telling someone to slow down and trust.

Report Inappropriate Comment
HOLDINGMYOWN 7/8/2014 8:59PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


The Sparkler part II

Friday, July 04, 2014

Last Thursday as our meeting was ending, Lisa, our leader passed out a sparklers for us all. I smiled! Two years ago, she did the same thing and I had forgotten. The message was simple...INDEPENDENCE with our choice of healthy eating and living.

Two years ago.,.....

I thought I was on cloud 9. I thought I was ready for I had just earned my key chain. Life was grand and I even WROTE about it.

I almost cringed.

Two years ago..........

and yet.......I had to step back and realize that it was okay....I was okay. The fact remains that I have lost....I have gained....I have lost.....I have gained....and I have lost. Results not typical were added for those like me.

and ....yet......

I have changed and grown in two years........


My teeth are finally DONE.

and....

as far as weight watchers is concern......I have learned that it isn't so much weight watchers fitting into me, but me fitting into weight watchers so that we are compatible.

Without realizing it.....I have created streaks. GOOD streaks and the online site pointed that out to me. My active link highlighted a symbol pointing out that i had my longest streak going in obtaining.....correction...EARNING my baseline. It pushed me further to add on to those days. I made it to 24. Now, a new streak begins and I am OKAY with that. Tracking food on etools......never thought of that as a STREAK, but the trophies they proudly DISPLAY on my home page......made me more DETERMINED to keep it up. My streak is strong there. Since doing SF, I find it NECESSARY to KNOW my weeklies and APS so that I THINK and use my non power foods wisely......or unwisely if I so desire.....as long as I have enough in the "BANK".

In two years, I have LEARNED to not eat in front of my computer or tv. I now eat at the table or outside in this nice weather. I am FREE of distraction and have learned to savory my food.

In two years.....I have LEARNED to MAKE my food and not go the convenient route of processed. I MAKE what I shall enjoy and look forward too. I no longer SETTLE. Settling.......if I DO that, then I am NOT satisfied and MAKE up for it UNWISELY.

In two years.... I have LEARNED that the FIRST two bites are the BEST in savoring those high POINT valued foods and I don't NEED nor DESIRE the WHOLE thing like I once did.

In two years.....I have LEARNED to go with the foods that are in SEASON and make the most of them while I can.

In two years....I have LEARNED that I have to eat ALL my meals and not skip for that BIG EVENT later on that day. I treat the event as a special time all the same, but in moderation and compromises that are SATISFYING and not go OVERBOARD.

In two years....I realize that I am STILL learning and an open to that fact.

Two years ago, I relished my sparkler that was given to us. Tonight I shall do the same thing. I have set it out to light just before the fireworks. My husband asked me if I wanted MORE for he would go get some.

I thought for the longest time.......

and finally replied, "No. One is enough for me to REALLY enjoy."

and I shall!

HAPPY 4th TO ALL!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEARTOFCHRIST 7/5/2014 9:01PM

    The past two years have been crazy for you and it is wonderful how far you have come through all the obstacles that have been placed in your way. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRLTAZ 7/4/2014 12:00PM

    Mary, you continue to amaze me and set such a great example. Lessons learned ! Keep plugging away and look forward to your trophies !

Report Inappropriate Comment
HOLDINGMYOWN 7/4/2014 10:59AM

    ONE sparkler~~as in ONE mouthful of healthy food! You are emoticon My Friend!

Have a great 4th of July~ emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


The Hiding Place....

Monday, June 30, 2014

Like many I am sure, I have closets full of various sized clothing. My problem lately has been...I don't fit into my old clothing like I once did. It is as though Mother Nature is playing a game with me. I am at the right weight for them, but my body has shifted. I feel self conscious so there they wait for perhaps another weight shift. Not sure.

I have always liked LOOSE clothing. Part of that is that I do work in a hot place and it is physical. I also need the flexibility of movement.

YET.....there is another reason I like it as well....and that has to do with SHAME. I am hiding my body. Big clothes hide ME.

I am very self conscious of my body image. I am.

I know when it started. I was very young....TEN....and I developed ahead of many of my friends....heck....ahead of most in my grade. I felt shame. It was hard and I got the nickname Modest Mary. I am still modest...but the real adjective would be SHAME.

I am rather plain. I don't have the face that you would run away in fear....but ...I am plain. I am okay with that....I know that...I accept that....but.....it makes me feel self conscious all the same.

In high school.....a friend I thought was my bestest friend......later confided in me way after those years. She was beautiful...I mean BEAUTIFUL. I was honored she was my friend...and chose me. After she got married to a WEALTHY man, she told me she picked me because...guys would look at her before me. She also KNEW my character.....I would never go after HER man. I had morals.

I was crushed......hurt.......

Today she is over 300 pounds.......

and I actually take GLEE in that fact. emoticon I know.,..shame on me...but that is how I feel.

SO......I have always HID behind LOOSE clothes so people would NOT see me.

I knew my clothes were too big since I have lost weight. I am pretty much wearing the same clothes with my loss. My leader at wws tried to talk to me about it several times......and I BLEW her OFF. Didn't want to face it. Didn't want to ADMIT out loud....I am ashamed of how I look. I don't want people to SEE me.

Today at the cleaners when I went up front to wait on someone........


MY SHORTS FELL DOWN. LITERALLY. I grabbed them up in time...but it was not wanting to stay there any more.

To keep my shorts up...I tucked the front part into my underwear and my HUGE tee shirt hid that fact.


You may laugh.


BUT.....today......I had to face my truth........


and it HURT.


I realized that even in my thin days.....I had a poor body image. ....and it started when I was ten. Guys did pay attention to my friends in high school and college....and HONESTLY ....that NEVER bothered me. I expected it.....and I accepted it. When they did...I WONDERED WHY?

I also am going to share something VERY personal here.

I have NEVER compared myself to others....and that is true....I NEVER have. I have always been HAPPY for others and their accomplishments......THEM themselves. I have never compared ME TO ME either.....I have always accepted that I did NOT measure up.

It sounds funny I am sure for those that know me....know that I am a confident person......I am. I listen intently......I can READ people quite well....and I have a good work ethic with moral values.

I am NOT confident in my appearance......and therefore........

I wear big clothes so people won't SEE me.

Now that I have lost weight...am losing weight......

I have to FACE me.


Tonight....I started a pile of over sized clothes......

over sized clothes that I KNOW is time for me to let go and not wear anymore.

I know this....

and I am scared.....for my hiding place......is no longer......sacred.....no longer my sanction.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MALAMI518 7/8/2014 7:55PM

    Wow...this stirred up many emotions and memories for me. I also developed early and that's also when I decided that I was fat for the first time. Then in 7th grade, a boy in science class yelled in front of the entire class that I was as tall lying on my back (in reference to my "development") as I was standing up (I am short). I remember trying on so many clothes and finding them too low-cut. Even when my mother (modest herself) would say that they were fine, I found them too low. I still don't wear shorts. It's partially because I find my legs are still huge and unattractive but also because it would feel too revealing for me. I do wear shirts lower cut than I used to, though.

Go out and proudly buy yourself some new clothes! You have worked hard and deserve to be comfortable in that progress! You don't need to give up any modesty that you don't want to, but clothes that fit will feel better and look better.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRLTAZ 7/4/2014 11:06AM

    Lots of emotion in this blog Mary. Thank you for sharing. You always have wonderful insight and I have some of those same emotions. I just went through my "big" clothes and bagged them up. 4X/32's do not fit. They fall down so time for change. I do not like change. I like the baggy hide my body clothes and no loud colors as a rule. Mom keeps telling me to get clothes that fit.... slowly, like your new turtle, I will do just that. Try to embrace the new smaller you and remember you are unique and special.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PEGGYO 7/3/2014 6:32AM

    I have to think about what to say

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JAXMOMMY 7/2/2014 10:12PM

    Wow. I honestly don't know what to say. But, as modest and self-conscious as you are, you need to buy some clothes that fit. You don't want your pants falling off of you when at work or anywhere else! Maybe it is time to step outside of that hiding place and that comfort zone and show off your progress. It is so difficult for girls like you who develop early. But, you are no longer 10 and any attention you get now will be positive. I wish you luck with your quest! I know it will not be easy. But, I am here for you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FUN2READ 7/1/2014 12:18PM

    Be patient with yourself and slowly get some new clothes(at least shorts that fit) so no more oops!! I've always worn oversize T-shirts (even at my thinnest) as that is what I too always liked.

Do what is best for you & experiment with different styles of clothes to what you feel most comfortable in...

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHALLENGER15 7/1/2014 11:55AM

    I fight this every time I try on new clothes...in fact, just LOOKING at new clothes. I have a friend that tries to get me into brighter colors and tells me that I need to "show off" more...

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NELLJONES 7/1/2014 7:19AM

    I have been at goal for a very long time, and I, too, like to move through the world anonymously. I have found that wearing clothes that fit make me more anonymous than baggy clothes. People's eyes seldom focus on one person unless they are out of norm for the group: more beautiful or well turned out, or sloppier. By wearing clothes that are modern yet ordinary, fit well, cause you to blend into the background, just where I like to be.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DITZYMUDGIRL 6/30/2014 10:11PM

    Let it go! This is what you are working for. I understand completely what you said and empathize. You are redefining yourself and becoming healthy. Let it go....the clothes, the hurt, the hiding. You do not have to hide anymore.

Report Inappropriate Comment
HEARTOFCHRIST 6/30/2014 9:46PM

    What wonderful insight! Awesome!

Report Inappropriate Comment


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 Last Page