Sooooo.. day two... seriously I can't wait to say day 200... or even better 2000. Day two just sounds so insignificant. Like seriously who really cares that you made it through one day and have started the next. Well in all honesty, I guess I need to look at it differently. I mean yes I made it through day one without a hiccup. I walked a mile to start off my exercise routine slow and easy. Moxie was my mantra when I thought about grabbing that left over christmas cookie or that can of pop. Motivation was high and I had no reason to stray.. I mean really it was the first day. But follow me here if you can... day two, as insignificant as it may seem is just as important as day 200 or day 2000. You can't HAVE a day 200 without that day 2. Each day is important, significant, essential to the next day. The things we learn, choices we make, life events that happen are all influential to the next days events. We strive to make it positive but sometimes it will be negative. It only makes a difference in how we look at it overall. So............day two! Let's here it for little daily victories!!!!
Resolutions....everyone has them.. we resolve to .........(fill in the blank) Every New Years Eve we relish in all that the new year can bring to us. We dream and plan and think about all that is possible. Then that one word as positive as it starts out to be seems to turn into something just short of being negative. We always seem to make our resolutions lofty goals that take on a life of their own. They have a way of teasing us throughout the month of January.... making it's presence known and sitting just out of reach so we can say it's obtainable. Then in February as we start to edge closer to it, it backs off even further. This continues till we finally see it drop over the horizon and we just give up trying to grab it and celebrate a success. That inevitable sense of failure can make creating a resolution something that we would just prefer to forgo as January 1st passes by. So with this in mind I am trying to find a better word to use. Goal is commonly used word.... but I am not common. I figure if I find a word that I can use almost like a mantra it will seem less like a "resolution." Drive? Habit? Change? Journey? I have found it... it's MOXIE... I will be moxie this year... (yes I just googled up synonyms for resolution and moxie was on the list.) What makes this even better is that my roller derby name is MOXIE MOMMA... so what better "word" to have. So for this year when I feel the urge to slack off I'll think MOXIE
A week ago I was feeling awesome. My mood was upbeat, my energy was high, and even though the plummeting scale seemed to have hit a plateau I was feeling good about it. Then my daughters graduation party day was finally here. I didn't eat poorly for the most part. I did however have a ton of leftovers as I usually do. So for the past week I have eaten whatever, whenever and yesterday I felt like a mac truck had run me over. No energy, headaches, stomach issues, you get my point. It was obvious that my body was letting me know I was eating wrong and wanted to go back to my healthy ways. So today I'm going back to the way I was eating before the party. I truly do not enjoy feeling OLD and that is how I would describe myself right now. So with this new bit of insight keeping to the straight and narrow may be more easily done this time around.
Tomorrow I am throwing my last graduation party. It will be officially known that all my children have moved on into the next phase of their lives. High School drama will be a thing of the past and now the world of college and young adulthood looms ahead. It's sort of bittersweet for me. I joke with my friends and say I'm going to have an empty nest party come September but really I know that I will be very sad to not have them ride with me to school every morning like they have done for the past 13 years. It was kinda cool that I go walk into the cafeteria during lunch and say hello to my girls if I felt the need. I will be odd not to have, especially my youngest, pop into my room with her friends throughout the day because she needs lunch money, or a permission slip signed. ****SIGH**** Yes it is bittersweet. What I really wonder though is did I teach my girls well along the way? Have I shown them how to be a strong independent woman? Have I given them any guidance in being healthy? I remember someone telling me once that you do the best you can and then you let them go and pray that they remembered what you tried to instill in them. With my older two daughters they have shown me that they can step up and "get it done" when they need too. I am sure that my youngest will do that also. I guess it's just scary for ME to let them go. Soooooo...I think tomorrow I will have moments where I will hold back some tears... but I also know that I will celebrate with my family and friends. I think we'll also celebrate the future and what it will hold for my newest graduate and my older two also. *Giggle* I just had a wonderful thought! I can now try out all those wonderful recipes that have all the food my youngest hated to eat..lol... oh there is a bright spot in the clouds.
That is my question. I have read both sides of the coin when it comes to daily weigh ins. I've been stepping on that scale every day for as long as I can remember. It's almost ritualistic. I tell myself that if I do this I can regulate what I'm doing right and wrong from day to day. BUT what is killing me is the totally negative effect it can have on my mood right off the bat each morning. My daughter looked at me yesterday and said, "you have to stop doing that every day... get in a poopy mood if you don't lose weight." I know she is right. It happened before during one of my previous journeys down the weight loss path. My family actually took my scale and hid it from me and only allowed to come out once a week because of the mental "game" it played with me. I didn't like that at all and soon with all my begging they brought it back to me after about a month. Daily weigh ins means I get to feel great and celebrate little daily victories. But it also means that I need to learn to not let the little increases kill me. (although when you see it go up over a pound it's not so very wonderful.) When I did another weight loss program and went to meetings where we had weekly weigh ins what I noticed was a distinct pattern that my body had for loosing weight. I would start off with a big loss week one, less week two, less week three, then darn near nothing week four, the BANG week five would be the start of the cycle again. You don't see that when you weigh in daily unless you purposefully track it. Soooo... to weigh or not to weigh.... that STILL is the question.