MEDDYPEDDY   131,659
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Easter coming up

Friday, April 18, 2014

Daughter came for easter yesterday - we started with going to a serenity sermon with communion. I have not told my daughter that I go to AA so I wonder what she thought when we arrived at church and I obviously knew more than half of the people there and we greeted each other with hugs and laughed a lot...there was no talk about AA but the atmosphere is very much closer and warm than when you meet "ordinary" people at a social event.

..and I was almost bursting with pride over my friends and over my daughter - my friends all were interested in her, shook her hand and beamed with joy over seeing her... and she told her name and engaged politely in any conversation, in sermon we sang together and she joined in communion and in the prayers and it was all really blessed,

The church offered a s small meal afterwards and we stayed and sat at a table with a girl who is... 23-24 years maybe and has been an alcoholic as well as a drug addict. She is still with nicotine - not smoking but using "snuff" - I think this is a special swedish habit it is like chewing tobacco although you put this powder under your upper lip... I did that some years many years ago and it is really hard to give up, since you can do it anywhere so itīs hard to avoid situations where you can use... but this girl said that she had been on adhd medication and than given up drugs, boose and medication - and gone inte compulsive eating and gained 25 kilos...then became an obsessed exerciser which she still is but she says that she prefers nicotine and exercise to food ocr drugs or alcohol... oh yes, she also said that she had been taken of the adhd medication because her heart had started to react...

As I have seen this girl transform in AA from a silent and "repellant" (?) person into a happy talkative girl, I really think that she is doing the best with her situation and I have great hopes for her. AND I thought it must be good for my daughter to listen to a "real" person, being very real and honest about things.

As we went home afterwards my daughter mentioned how cool this girl looked, her hair and her shirt was "so cool". Otherwise we did not discuss it but it is worht to mention that it is my daughters choice to come a long. I have thought from the beginning that I would just bring her, but she phoned berfor arriving and told me that wshe was had been having a cold and still had an aching throat, so I offered her to stay at home. But she said she wanted to come along, in fact she is a "little religious" (she said) and would want to go to church more often... and I said "why donīt you then, you live rather close to the church in your home town.

And she said she did not know how to behave and I just looked at her, rather pussled. Because before I moved I was working extra as a church janitor and she has been with me many times and ougt to be familiar with the thing. She also still sing in a youth choir - I think the problem is that she thinks it is a little too weird to go on her own. Her father thinks that religion is silly and would not encourage any "spiritual" actions.

In my evil heart I am happy because this is a way for her to protest by choosing "religion" she is beeing obsturctive but in a way that she cant be criticised for.

Anyway, the whole thing made me feel very good especially as we are going to be sort of pagan today, instead of going to church and reflect over the death of christ, we are going north on an "art round" - different people showing art in a region up north, I have three places I want to visit, one that shows music and film and two with painted art, one of the later is also offering a "café" with foods made by syrian refugees, love the project! And lov being able to take y daughter along and hope that she finds some of it interesting, maybe the film thing can be inspiring to her...

I also had a meeting with the woman I am working with standup comedy with, we are preparing for our next performance, which is the fourth oif may - I have come up with three minutes that I am pleased with, now I just have to rehearse it very thorughly... It will be my third performance, and hopefully a little less horrifying than the last time. I really donīt know why I am doing this!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

INGMARIE 4/18/2014 5:58PM

    emoticon Glad you had a good time with your daughter, seems she is growing
and growing up ,making decisions of her own. Good for her and you.
As far as your evil heart , lady I don't think you got one.

Happy Easter.

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KITT52 4/18/2014 2:23PM

    emoticon

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JOYINKY 4/18/2014 9:21AM

    Your weekend is off to a great start! Enjoy the Art Round today! Your daughter is growing up nicely and it seems growing into a very nice friend as well. I love my friendship with my adult daughters.

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NANCYPAT1 4/18/2014 8:13AM

    Always nice to have a good day with your daughter

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LOPEYP 4/18/2014 8:05AM

    Glad that you had a nice time with your daughter.

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CHRISTINATODAY 4/18/2014 4:33AM

    Sounds like you had a good time with your daughter. That's precious.

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Floating and sleep

Friday, April 11, 2014

I rarely get around to write blogs nowadays – when I am finished with tracking and huddling and all the other things on spark it is time to go to work so it may be a bad idea to save blogging for last.

This week I have applied to be a part in a research about floating - the university was looking for people with anxiety problems and a friend in AA passed on the tip - I had to fill in a form with a lot of questions about my mental state and realised that my sleep is not as good as it used to be.

I have always had a very good sleep - falling asleep easily and slept for eight hours. Of course there have been times with anxiety and worry that has disturbed my sleep, and I do have sleep apnea, but all in all I have been great at sleepion.

This has changed during the last years - and I realise that I donīt sleep eight hours and my sleeping patterns are easily distrubed ... and the guy who is monotoring the research told me about the substance melatonin that the body produces but the production falls with age, that is why elderly people say that they donīt need as much sleep anymore.

But we do for health reasons (he said) and also told me about melatonin. So I researched it on the net - it is obiously common in the US but in Sweden it is only by prescription and according to all the research results I found it seems to be good that it is not free, as the effects from synthetic supplements are not that well proved.

But I did find a research about food from thailand - how food could help the body to produce more melatonin - and the research had found that pineapple increased the rpoduciton with 230 procent - so guess who eats pineapple... bananas increased the producion with 1000something and oranges was the third best... anyway I had half a pineapplefruit, went to bed early and slept more then eight hours... the reason probably being that I had not slept that well the night before but it amuses me to think that I am doing something good for my melatonin level so I will continue with pinapple for a while. Not my favourite fruit but ok.

The research is to float in a floating tank twice a week for seven weeks - with one weeks pause somewhere in that. I did float two years ago and really loved it, but the floating company was twenty minutes drive on the other side of town and it was winter and dark so I gave it up and decided to start again in spring - and by then the company had gone bankrupt. I have been looking for floating possibilities since, but have not found any.

It is interesting that I can stand floating, I do have a hard time with meditation, I get bored and restless after ten miutes or so, but this floating thing - I am in there for 45 minutes and it is totally peaceful. SO I start monday and I ma really looking forward to it!

And it is free, the only thing I have to do is to fill in that form and have my blood pressure measured (and it was great when he measured it this week)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AJDOVER1 4/11/2014 4:22PM

    I've got chronic sleep difficulty, but find melatonin helpful. It's very interesting to hear about the affect of pineapple, I'll have to look into that, too.

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INGMARIE 4/11/2014 10:21AM

    That is a great opportunity and something you like to do and free too. Could not be better. What is this research for ?

I love pineapple and bananas ,I eat banana daily with other fruit and veggies in my morning smootie Maybe that is why I sleep well.
I will add pineapple too.
Have a great weekend. and tell us about the floating. emoticon

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LISBETHSALANDER 4/11/2014 9:48AM

    I have a friend who swears by floating but I've been hesitant to try it. What a wonderful opportunity for you. Enjoy.

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JOYINKY 4/11/2014 8:44AM

    I love pineapple and eat it often; never connected it with sleeping well. I knew about melatonin but also was aware the supplements are not without problems.

The floating research is interesting. What is it they are looking for? I'm not familiar with anything like it. I'm assuming you mean floating in water; something that is more difficult for me at this weight than when I had a more buoyant fluffy physique! emoticon
But relaxing, none the less. Enjoy the experience!

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CHRISTINATODAY 4/11/2014 2:52AM

    How nice that you are getting the opportunity to float if that is something you like!
Hope it will improve your sleep. Didn't know that about pineapples.

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Broken bike and binders

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Thursday afternoon the steering of my bike got loose and I almost drove in the ditch... since the repairer had been tampereing with it I phoned him and he said to coime by - but also told med he was closed friday. And I was almost going there when I thouhgt that I did not want to spend around hundred crowns in gas money so I had to wait until monday when I go to work again and his shop is open... but I tried to fix it myself without success, I also tried to fix my other bike but my pump was broke sp I could not put air in the tires...

this morning the weather is absolutely wonderful, I decided to bother my ex brother-in-law who lives across the street and is a handyman... he usually mends my car but he is the son of a cyclerepairer so I thought I might ask him for a diagnose in case it was something simple I could handle myself ocr buy a screw for...I did try to fix it but it wouldnīt stay fixed. He took it apart and showed me it was a lot of rust and dirt, we cleande it and filed a litlle and now it works again! Wow my weekend is saved!

Yesterday I decluttered a lot - I am going to fix my guestroom this summer, as it has an separate entrance as well as a separate bathroom I can fix a small kitchenette and make it a furnished apartment for som student at the university - there are very good bus connections, only twenty minutes to the university and only hundred meters to the bus stop from my house... and as the guestroom also is my stock room for archive papers I started sorting old book keeping and verifications and managed to "release" 17 binders! Wow! Some of the papers must be kept, according to the law I have to keep them for ten years but everything before 2004 is dismissed and the kept verifictaions is neatly bundled year by year and only occupies one box now!

This afternoon I will visit the garbage station with a lot of garbage and tonight we have a performanse with our fire show "carmen" during Earth hour.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JSTETSER 4/3/2014 10:18AM

    My bike season starts soon.
I can hardly wait!

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NANCYPAT1 3/29/2014 10:14AM

    Sounds like a great way to make your day productive and enjoyable. I always feel good when I get rid of garbage, declutter, etc. and then to have the bonus of a beautiful day as well - sounds ideal.

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ANNEMARGAR 3/29/2014 7:58AM

    Spring is a great time for cleaning out! I should be doing yard work today, but the rain has started so I guess that will wait until tomorrow. So.....that leave plenty of time today to start cleaning out the closests! Here's to spring cleaning!!

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JOYINKY 3/29/2014 7:38AM

    Great start on the weekend! Congratulations on fixing your bike; saving both time and money! The apartment sounds like a good idea; good motivation to DE clutter. Staying busy is a good thing. Enjoy your weekend!

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NANFACEMIRE1 3/29/2014 7:11AM

    Good job. Happy you were able to repair your bike w/o taking to the shop.

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HAPPY-DESTINY 3/29/2014 6:59AM

    emoticon

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GHOSTFLAMES 3/29/2014 6:49AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MARYJOANNA 3/29/2014 5:24AM

  You were very busy and no doubt burned lots of calories!

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SUZIPAM1 3/29/2014 5:03AM

    thanks for the earth hour reminder :)

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The ancestors...

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

As I decided to use the help of a therapeut to be able to handle the anxiety that arises when I try to change my behaviour patterns I got into studying my family - we are going to use Bowen theories and I started to look for family history - got a book that I grew up with but have not seen for years, my nephew had it and collecting it was really nice as we had a long and interesting talk as we met.

Anyway – I did know that my great grandfather was born in the region I used to live between 1999-2009 but now I learned the fascination fact that my...great grandfathers great grandfather...(seven generations back) used to be the priest in the church were I sang in the choir when I lived there! Mind blowing really, also to find that his wife was born at a farm right next to the farm I had when I lived there...and as my daughter still sing in the choir in that church I canīt wait to tell her that if she touches the door, walls or floor she might put her hand in exactly the same spot as her ancestor...

I also discovered that I had a lot of priests and preachers as well as artists on that side of the family - also some military people as well as an energetic man who travelled all over the world and started gyms wherever he went, he had Bismarck as a client and ended his days in CHicago were he also had a gym (and enrolled to fight for USA in the spanish-american war...he had immigrated from Brazil were he moved from Argentina were he fought in some war too and as he was not pleased with the outcome,he emigrated... A very able man it seems but he is not my direct ancestor,just a brother of my great great grandfather...

So fascinating, that same family had many daughters - none married,all died as "noble virgins" some sort of status that enabled you to get a pension from the Noble House of Sweden.

This really has no meaning for the work I am doing right now, we are just looking two generations back, at the triangle me and my parents and the triangle Them and their parents - I already realised that my parents must have had a very strong passion for eachother, strange because that is not something that I ever thought about.

The effect on me as a little sister was that I was not given much attention and got a lot of my self-picture from my siblings - that regarded me as stupid and a nuisance... I learned to keep out of the way and find ways not to draw attention in a bad way... so silly because I am to day a person that draws a lot of attention, my charisma (I have been told) is very strong and I canīt help get noticed when I enter a room. Strange indeed.

It is also clear that fear was my strongest feeling growing up and that is also peculiar as there were no violence in my family, it must be due to a very strong and vivid imagination.

Parallel with this navel contemplation I am engaging in both the happiness project and trying to change my deadlinebehaviour... and I am eating too much in the process emoticon

I am also exercising a lot and practice pianoplaying, it is a very busy time...

Doggy is happy again going on shorter biketours and it works:

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAWNFIRE72 3/27/2014 3:45PM

    Family history has always fascinated me. I know most of my mom's family history and we have pictures in the local museum of my mom and grandma being evacuated in 1948 when the local river flooded. My dad's family can be traced back a very long way across Canada.

I am glad that you have found a way to sort out the past and hope that it can help you to balance your future.

Glad that you and doggy are finding time to go out and find happiness on a bike.

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LJCANNON 3/26/2014 4:51PM

    emoticon It is strange how our Lives sometimes seem to follow similar paths as our ancestors, even if we know Nothing about them.

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AJDOVER1 3/26/2014 4:22PM

    Very interesting! I love the recent connections to ancestors!

Regarding fear: Just because there wasn't actual violence doesn't mean that fear was not a legitimate feeling.

Good to see Merlin is well!

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INGMARIE 3/26/2014 3:48PM

    If you had been an animal in a former life,,,a bull comes to mind emoticon
Tackle things head on.
Interesting history in the family.
Good luck with the inward searching. emoticon

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GRAYLADY13 3/26/2014 2:35PM

    emoticon I admire the way you tackle things head on! You're amazing and interesting and emoticon I gotta say thanks! You are a bright Spark in my life!

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JOYINKY 3/26/2014 10:13AM

    History is not destiny but it does help to sort things out and find balance. Glad doggy is happy again! Be well.

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CHRISTINATODAY 3/26/2014 9:05AM

    It's a good sign if you can do navel gazing: means you can at least FIND your navel! emoticon emoticon


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JSTETSER 3/26/2014 5:42AM

    Family history is fascinating!

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Poor Merlin

Monday, March 24, 2014

Fixed the bike for a lot of money and when weekend came it was finally time to get out with doggy. We both forgot that he has become a little chubby during winter and his paws are not hardened yet... and when we realised this we were far away from home and had to get back. I had a limping dog that evening, not wanting to move from his bed:



He is fine again but lesson learned - we will have to build strength and paws for a while...

He watched as daughter and me took the trampoline out of the shed and fixed it- daughter was eager to try!



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RRUDEPARANORMAL 3/25/2014 1:45PM

    This is an excellent reminder ... I know I'm incredibly eager to start taking long walks with my buddy, but I will have to be remember he doesn't have shoes.

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MAGNOLIA416 3/25/2014 9:24AM

    Merlin must've enjoyed having the nice time outside though! My friend puts balloons over her dog's feet like socks. They're waterproof and protect from scraping.

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TOKIEMOON 3/24/2014 5:55PM

    Merlin isn't the only one who got a little hubby thus winter. The cold and lack of activity finds me eating more at night. Hope Merlin's paws feel better soon, and that he want to go walking again.

You trampoline looks fun. Ah, to be young and not have orthopedic problems!

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AJDOVER1 3/24/2014 4:48PM

    Glad Merlin is fine again and ready to play!

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MIMULUSBUG 3/24/2014 3:52PM

    Poor puppy! glad he healed up quickly.

Trampolines look like so much fun! But I've always been afraid to get up on one...

Spring is here & summer is coming!

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JOYINKY 3/24/2014 9:17AM

    Poor Merlin; glad he's recovering well! DD is growing up! She's pretty amazing!
Sugar too put on a few pounds this winter, we couldn't walk as often nor as far. We too will have to build up our distance again. So glad spring is here!

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WALLINMW 3/24/2014 8:43AM

  Poor baby! Hope he feels better soon!


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MADEIT3 3/24/2014 8:43AM

    Sorry about your dog - what a cutie he is! I wish we had a trampoline for the grand kids - looks like so much fun!

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JANET552 3/24/2014 7:29AM

    I hope Merlin's feet feel better now. After this long winter, it's hard to take it easy!! The trampoline looks like so much fun!

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RHOOK20047 3/24/2014 7:23AM

    Yes, our four legged friends are just like us, they get soft during the winter, and have to recondition them before they get a lot of exercise. Glad to hear he is okay.

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CHRISTINATODAY 3/24/2014 4:41AM

    Poor Merlin. I hope his feet heel soon!

The trampoline must be FUN.

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LJCANNON 3/24/2014 3:09AM

    emoticon The Trampoline looks like Fun!! Glad to hear the Dog was OK after his long walk!!

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