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The potato crisp miracle

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

So I went to the store for vegetables and passed the aisle with potatocrisps. A bag caught my eye "new flavour - chanterelles and sour cream". I could not resist, put it in my basket and added all the healthy vegetables...

Normally that is where the choice is made. It was long ago I tried to fool myself by saying "I will buy it and only have a handful a day"... I know that if it goes home with me it goes in my stomach rather quick.

And as a true addict I opened the bag in the car and took some. They were nice. Already feeling the depression over "again..." I studied the nutrition information - 530 cal/100 g, The bag was 275 g - so around 1500 cal in one snack.

And then the miracle happened - I did not want anymore. Thought that I needed to get rid of that bag because I did not know how long that blessing of not wanting it would last. Considered giving it to my dog sitter but she had gastric bypass and gained a ,ot of weight during her stay in the psych ward recently, it would not be a nice gesture to give her those crisps.

Took the risk of bringing them home because I wanted to weigh them and see how much I had eatened. Ten grams! That was about 50 calories - how nice!

So the bag is in the bin - thai sauces pured over it just for safety and I am very grateful for this miracle. I will not fool myself that this means I now can handle that stuff in my home, just be grateful that the miracle happened and then keep on taking the precautions I need not to find myself alone with those bad foods...

Had some nice soup with eggplant mushrooms (real ones not just a flavour :-)) and canelloni beans.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AJDOVER1 9/26/2014 7:34PM

    This is great to read! I've been focusing on "what do I do after I've done the wrong thing." I love your miracle. I can make miracles in my own life as well.

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ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 9/26/2014 11:54AM

    Wonderful! You can be very proud of yourself for deflecting the emergency. I wish I had the stamina to toss items purchased by the infallibly wrong impulses I have... emoticon

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FIT4MEIN2013 9/25/2014 10:22PM

    Great job!! emoticon

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LJCANNON 9/25/2014 8:32PM

    emoticon Precious Moment, indeed!! Congratulations on your Victory over those Crisps.

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INGMARIE 9/25/2014 7:37AM

    emoticon way to go. emoticon

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JOYINKY 9/25/2014 7:05AM

    Congratulations! A familiar story to me. I know giving myself that "I can have just one" is "stinkin' thinkin'"; at least for me. I have caved over and over when setting myself up for that temptation. You did well and I agree; reading those labels, seeing how small those "servings" are and what the cost is in calories all help and the victory is sweet. Many foods are just not worth the price; in time, that sinks in. Proud of you!!

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2014TODAY 9/25/2014 3:50AM

    I never know what to do with the leftovers of products that I got because I wanted to have 'just a little of them'.
I wrote more but I'll put it in my own blog, don't want to write an essay on yours!


Comment edited on: 9/25/2014 3:52:15 AM

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AKELAZ 9/25/2014 1:12AM

    I remember blogging about a similar situation of my own - a long time ago - and your response was 'Ah - precious moments' which absolutely hit the nail on the head for me. I am often reminded of it when I think I can't resist something but know that if I do that moment will be 'precious' so I throw it away or make a better choice. Thus I return your comment - a 'precious moment' - because, with some thought, we make our own good moments and these moments tell us that in the long run we CAN find a better way through our bad habits.
So well done you - and thank you for reminding me.

PS - your soup looks delicious. I have tried your soup habit with some success, before and rather think it is time for me to do it again. Another 'thank you'.

Comment edited on: 9/25/2014 1:14:04 AM

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MOONGLOWSNANA 9/24/2014 11:05PM

  Good thinking and reading labels! Trigger foods can pull you in and take over if you let them. Nice gesture with the hot sauce and success! Baby steps will get you where you want to go! emoticon

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Stress

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Yesterday I was a good person.... invited this woman who used to run a gym to lunch - she lost her business during summer and is now looking for a job. She is an immigrant from Russia and we swedes are not good in letting foreigners in - she is very highly educated and experieced but that does not help you are too qualified" they tell her - I am starting to realise that in this country it is very hard to get somewhere if you donīt have connections.

As I am writing about the regional business life I do have a lot of cennections so I have sent out some inquiries and recommendations and weīll see what will come out of it. It frustrates me a lot that the industry is complaining about lack of competence and at the same time donīt pick up competence because it is strange to them.

Then I went and interview a company that has grown from three to 38 employees in two years.. and when I asked him about recruiting he confirmed my thoughts, they go by recommendations and have not employed any immeigrant so far.

Such a waste - we have a lot of refugees from Syria and there are doctors, engineers, technicians, teachera - lots of competence among them people we really need but will we take care of them? - I very much doubt it.

Later in the afternoon I coached a woman over the phone that had relapsed into suger after six years off. The reason is probably stress in her job and it is a repetiotion of the same thing seven or eight years ago when she gave up the job she had and educated herself for the church. I do have this diploma as a coach and I could feel that I was helping her by asking the right questions.

But today I realise that the phonecall made me a little late in writing that interview so I wasnīt finished until half pas five. A woman has organised dogwalks in our little īvillage and I had planned to join the group at 6.30 but I was too tired. So I did not take care of myself and I also realise that this being there for others makes me feel stress as I donīt feel I help them enough - I havenīt gotten this woman a job, I did not "cure" this other woman...

I have to take care and be better balanced. Food was all rightI had the rest of that pork andnit was delicious. I did not binge later and I lost some weight

A thundersstruck has borken my teve antenna so I have been without teve for a fortnight - I have bought a new antenna butmy days on a roof is over so I will have to wait untill I can get hold of some young person to help me...

Instead I am looing at Netflix - yesterday it was "Fat, sicka and almost dead" - scary stuff...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AJDOVER1 9/24/2014 7:01PM

    You are a good person. Every day. Always. You have made an honest and thoughtful effort. You aren't responsible for the outcome.

Here too, it's important to have connections to find a job. It's rare in my office for anyone to get a job other than by knowing someone. We're each offered a bonus for referring applicants.

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INGMARIE 9/24/2014 7:28AM

    Congrats on your food choices, emoticon

You are such a great person, helping others ,I also think you want results right away?
Do not turn the no result yet, into a personal failure, it is not.
Sorry about the antenna, hope you find a helpful and young soul to help out.

Have a great day emoticon

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JOYINKY 9/24/2014 4:57AM

    I'm so glad you're posting again. You are a good person! I feel I have a pretty good balance to my life; but all my days are not "balanced". There are times when mine too are consumed by needs outside myself; and it is time well spent. Meeting my personal goals on those days is not always possible. But isn't that what balance is about? Adjusting as best we can to what's going on around us? You did well to keep your food choices on track. Being there for others is all any of us can do; we can't control the direction of their lives. Be well. emoticon

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AKELAZ 9/24/2014 2:58AM

    Such a mixture of emotions, MP. You could be proud of trying to help these people - I was impressed when I read what you had been trying to do but somehow you turned it into some kind of failure. Yes - you maybe need to find 'better balance' and some of that may be being kinder to yourself and feeling some satisfaction for kind deeds.
Hope you get your antenna sorted out - I've never had the courage to get on a roof in my entire life, so that impressed me too, even if you don't get up there any more.
Well done on a good food day and on weight lost.
Take care . . .

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Making and breaking rules

Monday, September 22, 2014

Reading Anne Catherine who describes the thread of selflies that is typical for an addict, although she calls it "breaking rules":
1. Before you enter the store you decide that no matter what you are going not going to buy a bag of your favorite candy.
2. In the store you find yourself in front od the candy shelf, buy the bag and change the decision into "I will only eat three pieces" and not open it until I am home..Rule one broken.
3. You decide that you will not open the bag until you arrive home, but when you are in the car you change the decision and open the bag and eat three pieces. Rule two broken.
4. When stopping at a red light, you decide to have three pieces more, but eat four. Rule three broken.
Rule 5-11 You continue to create and break decisions until the bag is empty.
Rule 12. You feel lousy and as a punishment/compensation you decide to skip lunch. You will pass the drivethrough fast food.
Rule 13. You turn into the fast food anyway – rule 12 broken - deciding to have the smallest serving of a burger.
Rule 14 You order a doubleburger, big serving of french fries, a milkshake and a coke. Rule 13 broken...etc.

Me - I rearely make such a long chain - i fall when breaking the firt rule an plunge into eating it all...

But yesterday I observed the process as I lost my streak of absinence. GOing home from work I avoided the long lane with many car and took the detour that make me pass my food store. Obsession stroke and I decided to have meat, having read and heard about LCHF a lot during the day.

Bought pork and decided to eat it in two servings, on at dinner and one the next day. With lettuce and red cabbage, cooked without any syrup or chutney.

Went home and did that - swayed in cooking the cabbage without sweetening but persisted. Observed my brain starting to negotiate to cook the other half of the meat because "then I can start over tomorrow"

So - I broke my one week streak of fluid food only but I did not go into bingeing and stayed under my calorie limit. I only wish I had planned to get off that fluid only instead of falling off it... but alas, yesterday is gone and today I will do my best to eat sensibly and stay within limits.

Lost amazing 15,4 (seven kilo) pounds during the week of fluid, gained 2,2 (one kg) when I had some rich soup sunday and stayed with that even after eating that meat meal yesterday. I do eat a lot less meat since I tried to stop, maybe one or twice a motnh and that is okay for a beginner... yesterday was the first meat in september and it will be one time more today, then I will try to stay away for the rest of the month. Not that hard as I love fish and chicken that I still eat...as well a pure vegetarian.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AJDOVER1 9/23/2014 4:45PM

    I think a lot of my "strength" at avoiding my old patterns is due to the continuous presence of my partner. So much of my addictive behaviors were played out in isolation. As long as I don't cross that line of seeking out the privacy to indulge in those secret activities now, I find myself safe.

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LIVE_AMAZINGLY 9/23/2014 3:33PM

    After reading all your various postings about pork I went and bought some pork chops a couple of months ago. I never used to buy pork, but now I buy it all the time. I see why you have such a love for it! Umm-umm-umm. I do thoroughly enjoy it, but have no problem stopping after 4 or 5 ounces of it. Some days I might enjoy 2 servings a day, but then I'm not eating any other sources of protein those days. I think I will buy a nice pork roast next.

I have been very happy since I went back to eating chicken and various meats, after getting my health in trouble on a near-vegan diet. I still eat all the fruits and vegetables I ate on the 'vegan fling' but feel a lot better with meat back in my diet.

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2014TODAY 9/23/2014 8:53AM

    Interesting chain.
The problem for me is always what to do with the leftover junk / sweets after I've bought it and eaten part of it. It's a huge problem and I too often end up eating it all just so 'I can start over tomorrow with a 'clean' (ha ha) slate'.
What should we do? Make no rules anymore? Make them but less strict so we aren't that tempted to break them? Scratching my head....

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INGMARIE 9/23/2014 8:49AM

    Funny,, I broke my "rules" yesterday too, but as you said: today is a new day, so I will start over again.
I will keep busy, lots of chores to do ,and It is raining here.
Have a great day emoticon

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JOYINKY 9/23/2014 8:32AM

    That strilng of rule breaking is familiar; but with me it would have been ice cream. Having A serving out works better for me. Yes, it does feel better as a decision than it does as a failure to follow through on a "rule". Now, I try to keep "rules" at a minimum and shoot for wise choices. Glad you are experiencing success. Be well.

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Feelings

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Drove the daughter with friend to the bus that takes them back to her father and school. This is when I usually overeat, shame and sorrow over the situation, comfort because I feel badly treated and a lide reward fo me having been such a good mother all weekend...

Do this time I went home and had all those feeling roar as I had my soup for the evening...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AKELAZ 9/22/2014 2:18PM

    So glad you're blogging again - have missed your thoughts and feelings - so often go to my heart. Don't feel shame, my dear. YOU did nothing wrong and you have redeemed the situation where your daughter is concerned admirably - in my opinion. I feel for your sadness but she's plainly happy to visit when she can and you always provide her with interesting and fun moments. The fact is that for now her life is where it is - but through no fault of yours - or hers.
Well done with the soup - a good healthy choice that I hope helped your roaring feelings subside.
Thinking of you, MP, and wishing you well.


Comment edited on: 9/22/2014 2:19:54 PM

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AJDOVER1 9/22/2014 12:13PM

    Funny to read this today. Just yesterday I told someone that she didn't need to continue to engage in self-destructive behaviour just because it was the familiar thing to do. It's a struggle to have those feelings roar, but it's a struggle you can overcome. Thanks for posting this!

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JOYINKY 9/22/2014 11:38AM

    There's no shame in this situation; I feel you've always done your best at the time; leave yesterday behind. But, yes, it is hard when they leave and you deserve the comfort being a good mother today brings. But it doesn't have to be food. You've done well choosing soup; I think it's a good choice as a comfort food. Best thing for me after a visit is to just stay busy, not still, in the house that now feels empty again.
I'm glad you shared. I've missed you.

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INGMARIE 9/22/2014 7:48AM

    emoticon This must be so hard to deal with,and she does visit and the 2 of you seems to enjoy that. emoticon

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2014TODAY 9/22/2014 4:47AM

    emoticon emoticon I can imagine that this must be hard.

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Daughter and me!

Sunday, September 21, 2014


Performing together...very basic

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AJDOVER1 9/22/2014 12:13PM

    delightful!

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PEGLEGN64 9/21/2014 11:59PM

    You both look like you had a great time. Its nice you can do this together. Music is always fun.

emoticon emoticon Good job !!


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JACKIEWALKS4FUN 9/21/2014 10:32PM

    emoticon Loved this, my Father use to play the accordion, I miss it. Thank you emoticon

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LIVE_AMAZINGLY 9/21/2014 10:01PM

    This was really nice. Enjoyed it. Especially your daughters antics. Nice seeing the fun of the young.

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RITAROSE 9/21/2014 5:14PM

  Enjoyed the performance! emoticon

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FREGGIE 9/21/2014 12:56PM

    Watched this for the second time today. Your daughter is sooo cute. I really loved to see this.

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INGMARIE 9/21/2014 10:31AM

    GREAT emoticon this was great, so nice to see you are having fun together
You both are terrific. way to go

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2014TODAY 9/21/2014 4:08AM

    WOW I love seeing this! Thank you for sharing!
Your daughter looks very much like you! Two gorgeous women having fun.
I also enjoy seeing that both of you have very expressive faces. Wonderful!

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SASHAY40 9/21/2014 3:39AM

    WOW!! You two are terrific!! GOod JOB!! I'm glad you are having a great time together!! WHAT A NICE WAY to do just that!! Congrats!! Sashay

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