MEGAN6277   37,600
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MEGAN6277's Recent Blog Entries

my 2 years here

Friday, July 18, 2014

Time has definitely gotten away from me the last two years. I've been so busy with my babies growing them up that I hadn't realized I've been with spark for 2 yrs. As I sit here sipping my morningcfee watching them wake up I realize I am pretty lucky. All three are happy, healthy, and growing into such fine young men right before my eyes. I guess life's not so bad after all. They could be not as healthy, and not growing as they should. I sometimes get too busy to stop and see what I've been through and what I have overcome. They are such a blessing to me in many ways they don't even know. I honestly don't know where I'd be without them. I realize soon they'll be on their own and don't need me as much. I feel myself welling up when I think about it but know I'll always be there for them no matter what. Anyway, I wouldn't have it any other way. My two years here has gone by too fast. I've lost all the baby weight but over this past winter put 10lbs back on. I don't like myself for it but with all the sleepless nights and stress I know its bound to happen. I still have yet to reach my goal weight but I know I hopefully will over time. Well all my cherubs are awake and demanding attention so I hope you all have a good day!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

68ANNE 7/19/2014 10:36PM

    Sometimes it is good that time gets away from us but I know where you are coming from. Ooh man, mine are now grown and give and having their own. You are doing awesome with them!

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NANCYPAT1 7/18/2014 7:17AM

    The babies are such a blessing - keep working on healthy choices and making them for both you and the kids and you will get to your goal before you even know it. Congratulations on your Sparkiversary

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how can I turn back time?

Sunday, July 13, 2014

What would you say to your younger self if you met him/her on a street one day? I would have too many things to tell myself. First I'd say to cherish every minute you can with family. Take better care of yourself, care less about what people think about you, try to find time for yourself as much as you can and trust more then you do now. I've got issues with trusting people, maybe because all my life I've always had someone making fun of me one way or another. In high school, my nickname was goon, why I honestly don't know. My family always told me I was pretty but they were family, they had to right? Many days I don't feel very pretty or worthwhile to anyone. My life's been too wrapped up in making everybody else happy but me. I'm not sure what would make me happy any more. I get tired of being tired and everyone's doormat, but nothing ever seems to change because I've gotten comfortable being that doormat. I've had people tell me you can't have anybody change you, you have to want to change. I've been beaten down, kicked, knocked over, but yet I keep getting up for more. Why? Do I like to be hurt? Maybe just all what I'm used to. On the up side of things, I've got three wonderful boys who love me. Without them my life hasn't got any meaning it seems. Somewhere along the way I've forgotten my purpose and reason for being here. I get depressed then mad at myself for doing so. Wrong again I guess...maybe one day I'll get this right.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

68ANNE 7/15/2014 6:40PM

    I think we spend this life doing that.....
but my conversation with myself would last too long and I would never get anything done lol

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PENNYSAVER2 7/14/2014 9:10AM

    YOU are worth the effort. Try saying something positive about yourself every day.
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DEB62BIE62 7/13/2014 7:26PM

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CAREN_BLUEJEANS 7/13/2014 7:02PM

    You are worth taking great care of. I'm sorry if this seems harsh, but If you don't make your self-care a priority, no one else will. I have 3 boys, too!

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BELLENGLISH 7/13/2014 6:29PM

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BRAINBENTT 7/13/2014 6:27PM

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a little bit of me

Saturday, July 05, 2014

Ugh where to start?
Well....favorites I guess is a good start....my favorite indulgence would have to be having a cup of chocolate raspberry coffee along with a couple more tsps of dark hot chocolate mixed in.....along with a quiet morning to drink it in. Which hardly ever happens at my house.

Favorite critters would have to include my long time friend who's now passed my black percheron mare Chelsey. She tried my patience something terrible and she's the one I miss terribly. She stood atleast 17.5 hands high ....I'm 5 ft 7 in tall and could fit underneath her neck without bending over. I'd take and wrap my arms up overtop of her neck and shed just wrap her massive head around my back to hug me. I never rode her too much she was more of a huge pet. I dabbled once a year with her trying to teach her but I'd end up getting frustrated and hurt so she'd get off the hook again. But I loved her terribly. My other two favorite critters were my husband's dog Jetta. She was a rough collie who I fell in love with quicker then my husband. She knew I was pregnant twice before I was the sticker! She wasn't around when I had my littlest. She loved my older two sons something terrible. Along with my dog Callie who i also loved. The last being my cat's Becket. He stayed around for 16 yrs.
Well another favorite is spending time with my kids when they don't annoy me. Sometimes I wish their dad would spend more time with them then he does. I don't like getting dressed up any more. There doesn't seem to be a point to it. When you're married to a farmer you don't get the chance to go anywhere anyway.
Favorite music: well that would depend on my mood. I'm sort of eclectic on that one. I love the phantom of the opera to Shania Twain and Trace Adkins..then there's also Josh Grobin.....hmmm....anyway, hahaha! Let's see my worst memory was when my dad died. Life changed from there.ad you can imagine.
Well there's a small window into me....hope you all have a good weekend! Thanks to all who wrote ontmy last blog!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

68ANNE 7/6/2014 8:23PM

    It's always good to open up and let people get to know you

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why do I always find reasons not to do something

Wednesday, July 02, 2014

I went to church on Sunday to find out that the current director of the preschool program has stepped down. They're looking for a new one. Well the only thing holds g me back is the simple fact that I'm not a current member of the church and I don't have any supervisory experience over staff but probably could do the job. Is this the Lords way of saying go ahead and I will help you or am I just wistfully thinking that this is right? I've got my degree in education, a bachelors of science which I've never used any of my training for. I've always done jobs that haven't meant anything according to what I needed it for. Always done stuff that didn't matter either direction. So what am I to do? I haven't got a clue about joining the church I've never done it before nor have I ever felt comfortable in doing so. Is this His way of saying go and I will do the rest? I'm confused scared, and very uncertain of the answer. The thing that gets me is the fact that it was the pastors daughter who ran it before. Why did she step down and do I even consider the position? Do I have what it takes to do it? Way too many questions and way too many excuses as to why I shouldn't keep coming to mind. Am Itthat beaten down and discouraged on myself that I can't make a decision in it? There gives that selfccoevidence thing again. What should I do? My mom wants to see me doing something that's notbbedeath what I am is this it? Too many questions and then I say why couldn't I? Besides the bible says I can Di all things through Him, why not instead of the sacredness that keeps coming up. I've never held a job that allows me to be me. Something that'll challenge me all the time. What do I do? Any advise would be helpful on this one. Thanks!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MILPAM3 7/2/2014 10:15AM

  Why don't you put out a fleece as Gideon did. If it is God's divine will that you take the position, tell God that such and such (you decide) will happen before or at a certain time. That will be your sign...don't doubt it. I had a friend who wanted to know if she should buy a certain house she liked. Asked that the next time she viewed it, the rose bush by the front porch would bloom. It did, and she was told it hadn't bloomed in years! She still lives there.

As to church membership...do they preach the whole Truth -- the Gospel in its entirety? That is first and foremost.
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