Sunday, July 13, 2014
What would you say to your younger self if you met him/her on a street one day? I would have too many things to tell myself. First I'd say to cherish every minute you can with family. Take better care of yourself, care less about what people think about you, try to find time for yourself as much as you can and trust more then you do now. I've got issues with trusting people, maybe because all my life I've always had someone making fun of me one way or another. In high school, my nickname was goon, why I honestly don't know. My family always told me I was pretty but they were family, they had to right? Many days I don't feel very pretty or worthwhile to anyone. My life's been too wrapped up in making everybody else happy but me. I'm not sure what would make me happy any more. I get tired of being tired and everyone's doormat, but nothing ever seems to change because I've gotten comfortable being that doormat. I've had people tell me you can't have anybody change you, you have to want to change. I've been beaten down, kicked, knocked over, but yet I keep getting up for more. Why? Do I like to be hurt? Maybe just all what I'm used to. On the up side of things, I've got three wonderful boys who love me. Without them my life hasn't got any meaning it seems. Somewhere along the way I've forgotten my purpose and reason for being here. I get depressed then mad at myself for doing so. Wrong again I guess...maybe one day I'll get this right.