Saturday, April 19, 2014
I had long considered myself a "glass half full" kind of person, and in many ways I was - when the focus was shifted outwards, but when it came to myself and what I could do, I was less likely to be quite as positive.
I have taken a major leap in this area. I EXPECT more of myself, and I am often coaching myself through something where I would have been apt to give up prematurely, or not even attempt something and just assume I couldn't.
Hubby and I went out to lunch today before I had to go to work. I frequently get angst about seating arrangements. Hubby prefers a booth to a table by a longshot, and that has not been too easily done in the last several months. However, today when they asked I said "either" and they sat us in a booth, and I fit just fine. It was a moment of pride for me. As time goes on, this will become even easier, but it is really nice not to have to give up choices, because you think you can't, won't fit (in) or you are just too scared to try.
It is not just about the seating, it has happened in a lot of situations. I've more than turned the corner. I am feeling so great about life, many of my changes --- be it in the way clothes fit, the way I see myself, how I perceive others seeing me, and tiny bits of progress here and there. Even though I've still got a fat belly and chunky legs and hefty arms FOR NOW, I am seeing myself as a lovely and energized person. My adventurous streak is returning and I am finding everyday reasons to celebrate!
At the risk of sounding like Glenda the Good Witch in the Wizard of Oz, I know now that I had all of these traits in me all along - I just did not believe I was capable. I didn't grasp that I was an extraordinary person with a lot to offer. I was just going through the motions wondering if I was going to wake up the next day. My life is so full right now; I am happier than I ever remember being, and I am satisfied with myself just as I am. However, it is because of that, that I am bent on improving myself. I love myself now enough to want to succeed, to be the best I can possibly be.
Working out makes me happy and makes me feel good. I am becoming more mobile because I am working out better and stronger. I am committed to my health and fitness. Both my trainer and my coach have been instrumental in turning me into a renewed person with high hopes. It is just not some rah rah feelings. They have taught me how to believe in myself and have pushed me to become the person I am today. I participated equally, but they are my guiding force. I am so blessed to have these two amazing folks - and many other supporters in my life.
Friday, April 18, 2014
I've done really well this week at the gym. Even tonight, with interruptions of problems from work (they did not know how to open up the safe), I managed to be able stopping and restarting and finishing strong. Working out with my trainer is awesome. She is so helpful and encouraging and talking to her while working out makes the time feel like it is flying.
Adding in tomorrow's half hour meeting with my trainer, I will have satisfied the octane x 4, weights x 3, and 1 x up/down the WTC, the Empire State Building and 3 x around the Statue of Liberty. If I had understood the rope challenge a little more clearly when it was first announced, I would have done it differently. It's ok - though - it just means I knocked the easy thing off my plate first, and I will have harder challenges to do down the road and it is perfectly ok.
I've got to work a concert tomorrow night, but it is also great for me to be there. I get to witness "a big break" for one of my staff that I adore. Her parents will be there and trolling for me anyway. This particular family has pretty much adopted me and calls me their daughter's "school mom." It is also a big event and several very important people will be there. It is a good time for me to shine.
I'll probably take Sunday as a rest day from the gym, but I am contemplating making a quick run into do weights since they will be open 9am-2pm. We'll see what the day brings.
Well, I feel fantastic of where I am in the challenge on Day 4. I am working hard and it is paying off. I'll probably go weight myself next week sometime. I need a little time to take off the 5 pounds I gained last week when I was in recovery mode. By the end of next week, I should have lost that and maybe more.
Well, here's to a great weekend - and holiday if you celebrate it! Have a super week! Let's keep moving!
Thursday, April 17, 2014
When I got up this morning, feeling sore all over, I thought of a saying of my grandmother's (Nanny) who is long since passed. She would say, "Happy is the man who digs ditches. He works hard all day and comes home and falls into bed. Then gets up in the morning to do it all over again." She meant that he would stay out of trouble because he was too tired to do anything else. ha ha.
I felt like that I guy when I crawled into the shower. I am feeling yesterday's workout all over, but I am no less giddy than I was going to bed last night. The good feelings I have earned while working out regularly (nearly daily) are sticking with me. I am tired, and yes, I could probably fall asleep again if I let myself lay down, but that will pass. I'll eat my bfast, maybe drink a protein smoothie and then head out to work.
Getting up about an hour earlier is great for me getting my morning under control before I hop out the door. Plus, this morning was an added bonus as I had about 10 mins of talk tie with hubby before he left for work. He made me laugh a lot - and coincidentally, most of the humor was aimed at me. It was funny!
Well, that's all I've got for this morning. Today should be another good catch up day, with just a couple of meetings. I'll have to walk to one of them but that is a good thing. I am getting stronger every day and my ability to get around more easily is improving. Hope we all have a fabulous day!
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
No good challenge comes without a pinky swear, but I forgot about it this time around, so he will have to owe me one. I wish I could truly express how delighted I am right now --- with myself, my ability to do what has been set before me, and how great I physically feel. Ok, my feet do hurt in every position I put them, but for now, they are just going to have to take one for the team. I, myself - ME - told a woman in the gym tonight in the locker room, that sure she is sore today - but how is she going to feel 30 days from now? HA HA! I cannot believe that came out of my mouth.
That is exactly how I feel though. When I basically stumbled out of the gym last night - feeling very sore - but emotionally and mentally buoyant - that is something I realized - yes, I am going to hurt now in the short term - but where am I going to be 30 days from now, when my limbs have grown stronger, and my pride in myself has built to an all time high? It is worth the bit of pain now. I am working so hard, but the payoff feels huge.
It is not just the workout now, it is the realization that working out has changed my life. Trust me, I am astounded by this as much as the next person, but last night when I was driving to the gym, I drove past the funeral home that made me take stock of my life and envision that I was headed down the same road. That heaviness in my heart that I had given up on myself (and I had!!!) is no longer there. I am reinventing myself. I am believing and achieving.
Tonight I went 1.5 miles on the elliptical (called octane in my circles). Holy Moly! That was fantastic!!! Kimmy, my ever so awesome trainer, & I were reminiscing about the 30 second days. That's right, 30 seconds used to be my max. Tonight, I set a personal best --- and I think I went .50 miles without stopping. Do you how tremendous that is? I went from a completely sedentary shell of a person to someone who not only cares about herself now, but is thriving. Days are becoming an adventure and I am getting it all together. It is quite thrilling, which explains the feeling I have of jumping out of my skin.
Two days down, 28 to go. I can't wait to see what is waiting for me at the end of this rainbow on May 4th. WOO HOO!
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Started the new challenge tonight, and let me say this --- boy, do I ever feel good! Not my body really - that is aching all over, from chipmunk arms, and tired feet, and maybe sore knees, but none of that matters to me right now --- as right now I am celebrating how darn GOOD it feels to be back, in the gym and working out.
I do not have an easy challenge in front of me, but that is fine - it is better this way - it gives me something to strive for, and I am going to do my very best to make it all happen. I won't drill down to all the specifics tonight, but I will soon - it is just that I am pretty tired tonight, but I have a GREAT DAY!
I am about to say something here that might surprise a couple of people. If you don't believe in yourself already, now is a really great time to start. I had a hard time wrapping my head around this for a while, but when I finally gave in and decided to give myself a chance to believe in myself, I found out something unexpected. When you believe in yourself, you stop questioning every little nice thing that someone says about you - whether to your face - or about you to another. You can lay down your suspicions, and just enjoy the moment. : )
My new mantra is "Believe and Achieve." I think it sums up things nicely.
This challenge includes 3 x weekly weight sessions, 4 x weekly elliptical (aka Octane), and my friend, the rope - lots of it. I took a chunk out of the rotation tonight. I feel it in my hands and my arms, but it is a happy pain. The challenge also includes a switch to standing more than sitting.
It is really good to be back, working with my beloved trainer, & equally beloved coach. I'd write more, but it is time for me to stand up! Cheers!
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