Friday, October 24, 2014
My coach said something to me the other night, which I am trying to embrace and take on as a second nature. It was something like, "You find as you get older, you only need to worry about things a little bit." Tongue in cheek on the "older bit" since he is 20 plus years my junior.
Nonetheless, I am working on taking things in stride. There is a situation at work which I am struggling with which causes me to boil inside about it nearly every day. If it is not every day, then it is probably every week. I have been fighting it, and I guess it just boils down to - I just need to accept it. It chaps me about it because I feel like my boss is taking sides.....just not my side. He is dead set against my view, and every time we re-visit this topic, he comes down on me about it. He endlessly says, "I am the senior manager."
It's a no-win situation for me, despite the irritations I have to put up with about it. I am not the only senior manager in this case, but I am the only one who has to "play nice" about it. It aggravates me to no end. It is also a situation which is teaching me a lot about myself, and not all of it is pretty.
This is just something I am going to have to work on coming to terms with, because I don't need to be raising my stress level, or blood pressure over this. Playing nice is not my strong suit, so either I have to learn to channel my anger (boxing maybe?) or dust off my acting skills. Perhaps a little bit of both is the way to go.
In any case, I am happy it is Friday!!! WOO HOO! Working out with my coach tonight - usually puts me in a better frame of mind. Here's to a great weekend for one and all!!!
Thursday, October 23, 2014
I need to write at least a short blog, so I can clear my head and conk out for the evening. It's been a long day. I just got home from work (after 11pm) in hopes of catching up enough that the rest of my schedule is not thrown out of whack. I did blow off a session with my trainer tonight (I did tell him) and under the circumstances, I think it's fine. Making it to the gym for a solid 4 workouts is a good start this week. I will ramp it back up to my 5 workouts as soon as I catch my breath.
I had a totally cool workout with my coach last night, and his comments had me laughing through the day today as well. There were several funny moments - including one where I opened my trunk to get him something, completing forgetting I had a helium balloon and flowers in my trunk. As soon as I opened the trunk, the balloon went flying out. It was a gift to me from a couple of days ago, and having it fly off into the night was pretty hysterical. The flowers are in there for the best shot of extending their life a little bit. I see them every day and they are being pretty well preserved from the cool temps in the trunk. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I kill every plant I ever had. I once killed a cactus in three days!
Which brings me to another bright spot of the day... I did someone a favor from another office, and I do work closely with them regularly -- frequently having to go above and beyond --- but today they gave me an orchid (God help the orchid), along with a couple of t-shirts for me and hubby, and a handwritten note extolling my virtues. All quite lovely.
An hour later or so, I get an anonymous text asking me if I will be in my office later, - my answer was yes - but who is this? and it was one of my recent grads going to be in the neighborhood. Deep love! She came and visited for an hour or two while I worked. You can't put a price tag on moments like these and it was quite worth the late night working to share time with her.
I am trying to wrap up October out of the 400's - hopefully, but these last few pounds moving towards the 300's are proving to be very stubborn, much like me. My coach is helping me to ramp up my workouts and pushing me to settle in with my food choices. Those have been helter skelter, but I am talking with a health coach again tomorrow. Hope to make a visible path and get that straightened away asap! It is impeding my progress. Well really I am impeding my progress, but I am ready for a change, even if it means reprogramming my brain. I am going to get it done.
Well, so much for a brief blog. I am getting sleepy so chatting has helped. I hope everyone is doing fantastic! WOO HOO! Let's embrace Friday!
Friday, October 17, 2014
I have to learn to be patient with myself, but not so much that it lets me off the hook. I need to remember I am a beginner in a lot of ways, and when you find yourself starting all over, it is frustrating, tiresome and challenging.
At the end of my workout tonight with Hadley, I found myself asking a question that I thought might make him a little mad, but it didn't. If I did not ask him, though, I would let it fester, come up with my own answer which would support my insecurities, and push myself into a down mood. So I asked. Does working with me on such a primitive level of athleticism become boring? Does he feel like he is comparatively working with a kindergartener? I am not sure why that suddenly seemed important. I know he loves working out with "me" - personally, but I separated myself from the act of coaching someone with limited abilities. He explained it to me as being just as fulfilling as coaching someone through a state championship. In my case, it is more like how far can I go.
Tonight we worked on the mechanics of gaining stability and working the muscles to help me become more coordinated and learn the mechanics of running. Lift your leg up behind you, move your knee forward while raising it as high as you can and pushing it hard into the ground, while you keep having one foot in front of the other.
I went from not being able to do ONE, to stringing the steps together to doing some laps around the room. It felt unnatural, but at the same time, I was re-focusing on my thoughts on NOT where I am today, but WHERE this is going to lead me. It could takes days. months and even years until I am in a position to really rev these up, but tonight it does not matter. I am just doing them and learning that yes, I can do this, despite having a long way to go.
I am the do-er, but Hadley, my coach is the backbone of my success. I would never try a tenth of the stuff I do if he wasn't there to teach me. I wouldn't know, and I would not give it the intensity I do when he is around. He knows me well and loves me and the feeling is mutual. I have enormous respect for him and even though we had a couple of moments here or there, and I do like to fight with him, at times, I trust him wholeheartedly. He has become very good at quelling my panicked moments, and knowing when I am about to lose it. He reminds me he believes in me, pushes me when I need it (frequently) and hugs me when it seems I need a hug (often.)
Tonight when he left, he gave me an assignment to go 20 minutes on the bike, and I did it. I didn't want to but I did it. It was a good stretch for my legs, minus the cramp I encountered while getting on and off the bike, but one day, those things will improve as well. For now, I am pretty much in the suck it up and do it phase, and I am proud of myself for getting those things done, even if I am really a beginner.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
I gave myself a mental push last night while I was attempting to get off the rower and into an upright position. I said, "you got this, Mar." And I did. Not at first, and not before my coach, Hadley encouraged me to get up, even though I look scared to him. This time I got up on the second shot, while last time around it took me 4 tries. Doesn't really matter if it takes me 10 tries. I am making progress and that is a major win.
Tonight I worked with Don, my trainer. I still prefer working with Hadley, but Don has his merits, too. He is a little wackier than me (something most people can't say), and he has a lot of positive energy. Tonight he was pushing me hard through an hour of exercises working the arms, shoulders and back. Some machines we did had lower weights with higher reps, and others just the opposite. One of the last pieces we used was for back extension and that felt a lot heavier than usual, until Don told me he boosted it up 20 lbs. until were at 130. I still feel the soreness and prob will tomorrow as well, but I cranked through those reps. We did seated row, low row, "headbangers",opposite of previous (lifting weight from ground and keeping elbows up), shoulder extension, lat, reverse fly, and punches while holding 3 lb weights. It was a lot of stuff, but I managed it well, and I was able to get up off some lower seated machines on my own, which I have to say felt pretty darn good.
Some guy started chatting with Don during the lat pulldowns, and he said that he could tell that I was getting religious about going to the gym. People seem to remember me even if I have not noticed them before. The previous night another guy came up to me while I was outside, introduced himself, and told me that "all of them" were really proud of me. I guess he was speaking of his posse, although he was the only one in sight.
I'm getting kind of tired out and I have earned my sleep tonight, so I will sign off for now. In the meantime though, it feels great to be really pushing myself and see the improving results. Last week, Hadley told me my thighs looked thinner. Does he know the way to a girl's heart or what? Music to my ears.
Spark on, sparkies!
Friday, October 10, 2014
I'm taking a minute out of my crazy day to just share a little!
Today, I am wearing a jacket that I don't think I've worn since 2008, I love it. It stopped fitting. Now it is on me OVER A SWEATER. I can button it, and I can wrap it so the lapels are not just touching. This is a huge happy milestone for me.
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