Monday, August 25, 2014
So a friend of mine is trying the Wild Rose detox and was telling me about it. I'm thinking about maybe doing it too. It doesn't seem overly drastic and it's only 12 days. I thought maybe it could help me get back on an even keel. Reduce the cravings so I'm not wanting to mainline chocolate constantly.
Has anyone ever done it and if so - thoughts?
Friday, August 22, 2014
Starting yesterday morning, I decided to start getting brutally honest with myself. Iíve got the exercise thing on a good track, I like it, I look forward to it and Iím getting exercise 6 days a week. Like truly sweaty exercise. But my eating, oh man, my eating is out of control again. I havenít been tracking for a few weeks (Iíve been pretty sporadic the last few months really). So yesterday I made a vow that no matter WHAT I ate, I was going to track it. This morning I ate my cheerios and blueberries as per normal. But when I got off the bus downtown, I saw Starbucks there and I just HAD to have one of their sausage and egg sandwiches. I could have chosen something else. You know, like the egg white wrap or the turkey bacon sandwich. But no, no I had to have the 440 calorie sausage and egg sandwich. And while I was standing in line, I saw these cinnamon brioches and had to have one of them too. So you add the sandwich, the brioche (which, turns out, wasnít even all that good) and my cheerios and coffee and you have 1,100 calories already. And itís only 9:30am. But the first step to reigning in my binging and poor choices is to track things again. Itís like a punch to the gut to see how easily Iím consuming calories and when Iíve been honest with myself in the past, Iíve been able to use it to motivate me to get things under control. I have a messed up relationship with food. I probably always will have, so it will always be a struggle for me.
So not only am I tracking it honestly for myself, but here I am blabbing about it to all you guys too. Haha
Iím working on intimidating myself into submission. lol
Wednesday, August 06, 2014
Iíve recently become very aware of one of my worst setup-to-fail situations. It has happened to me twice this week that I can think of and both times it has spelled DOOM. The problem? I let myself get too hungry. And when I get too hungry, I make poor decisions. I donít just make poor decisions, I actually make destructive ones. Letís take yesterday for example. I stopped at the mall after work to get some mascara and then decided to wander around the mall just a bit before I went home. I hate shopping Ė for anything (okay, well not groceries but thatís a whole other blog on food fixations) - anyway I literally go into a mall maybe 4 times a year. I wasnít even in there very long but it was long enough for me to get very hungry. I usually have a snack right when I get home, then do my workout, then eat dinner. But yesterday was different because Iíd gone to the chiropractor and was not planning to workout because of the adjustment. Anyway, so there I am, in the mall. And I go past Purdyís chocolates. And I think to myself, mmm, I should buy myself some really nice quality chocolate. So I buy three bars in my favourite flavours. Then a little later, Iím walking past the popcorn place and I think mmmm, I really want some of that Chicago Style popcorn. But itís so bad for me. But I want it. Well, maybe if I donít weigh in tomorrow then the damage wonít be calculated. So I bought some. And when she said Ė did you want a medium for only 75 cents more Ė Ďyesí came out of my mouth faster than no could hit my thoughts. So by the time I got home Ė I was starving. Like beyond hungry, no I didnít want to make dinner Ė I wanted to eat this bag of Chicago style popcorn. And once I started, there was no stopping. Handful after handful Ė even when Iíd think to myself, okay, this is the last handful there would always be one more. I ate almost the whole bag. After another hour, I was hungry for more food so instead of barbecued chicken and salad as planned, I had toast with cheese slices because heck Iíd wrecked today anyway right? And to finish off? Yeah you guessed it Ė the fancy chocolate! I ate one. And then I ate another. And then I decided that I needed to get this chocolate out of my house so I ate the last one too.
As I said, this is the second time this week I set myself up for failure. Another example is on Saturday. I went grocery shopping late in the day to Walmart. Now, as you know, Walmart is enough to exhaust and overwhelm anyone so I was already tired from my workout and my house painting that Iíd been doing and now I was grocery shopping. But I didnít eat before I left. And again, I made poor decisions and once I got started, I couldnít stop. I saw they had Pringles nacho chips. I never eat chips. But I just had to give these a try. And oh they had fresh white baguettes on for only $1. A DOLLAR! How can you beat that? Well you can't beat it but you sure can pair it with spinach dip! Something else I never eat. I get home and put everything away and itís only 5pm so itís too early for dinner so I need a snack. So I eat a few Pringles. Then a few more. And before I know it, I ate the whole damn can. And then the bread Ė which I was going to use as an addition to my chicken and salad dinner. Well I had some with the spinach dip, then some more and before I knew it, Iíd eaten 3/4 of the baguette and had no intention of eating dinner.
So not only do I set myself up for failure by letting myself get too hungry, I also have no off switch when I start in on something at that point. I just keep eating like my hand is on a conveyor belt from plate to mouth to plate to mouth to plate to mouth. WellÖ you get the picture. I guess the difference now is that I recognize what Iím doing when Iím doing it, but Iím still not stopping it mid-stream. Iíll be downing those chips thinking, oh man here I am, binging on these, I should stop. But I donít.
I guess the good news is that Iím not failing everywhere, I am working out pretty steadily (though my chiropractor thinks Iím overtraining, which is why my back gave out, and that I should cut the 6 days a week to 4. Iím taking it under advisement). But Iím struggling with the food this week. I didnít get on the scale today even though itís Wednesday cause I just know the salt consumption alone was good for a 3 lb gain and I just didnít want to look at it. Man that BLC canít start soon enough I tell you!
I hope that your weekends were much more successful than mine. This is an ongoing battle for me and I have to try harder not to let myself get so hungry.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
When I last checked in at the beginning of July I was totally planning on blogging at least every few days. But Iíve just been so darn busy working out I havenít had a chance! Hehe
So here I am 3 weeks later. The hope that some of the gain was water weight was in fact true. I lost I think 4 lbs in the first week of starting to track and drink water regularly Ė water weight! But the rest has not melted off so much. So my total gain was 11 lbs. However, instead of concentrating on a number I have decided to make my focus on enhancing my strength. I think knowing my body is strong and healthy is so much more important to me than a number on a scale. I know that by concentrating on my strength and health that the number will drop too over time but Iím not going to fixate on a goal number. Especially with the amount of strength training Iíve been doing, Iím quite sure that SOME of my fat loss is being turned into muscle gain and so the actual number in the end doesnít move much.
In addition to doing the trainer-designed workouts that I started in June, a friend of mine introduced me to 30 Minute Hit or ĎThe Hití as itís apparently affectionately known. The Hit is a 30 minute kickboxing based circuit. So itís kinda like Curves in that you move from station to station only itís much more hardcore. Each station is 2 minutes. Thereís an audible timer (over the rockin music) every 15 seconds so you know when to switch from single to Ďdouble timeí Ė you do singles, then double, then switch (if youíre doing leg work, you have to switch back and forth). So you start out skipping rope (or doing stepups) to get your heart rate up, then you do straight punches into a bag, then straight kicks, then crunches, then left and right hook punches, then round-house kicks, then some more crunches, then upper cuts, knee-ups (as if you were kneeing a guy), then glute work on a bosu or exercise ball, and a couple of legwork ones. Then at the end, you get to take on Bob. Heís a big tall rubber dummy and for 2 minutes you get to hit and kick the sh*t out of him. Itís amazingly cathartic. So after 30 minutes youíve had a great workout, are sweating like a pig and you get to take out your dayís frustrations with a pair of boxing gloves.
At first, I was really hesitant about going because all I saw were skinny ladies in skimpy workout outfits coming out. But my friend, who is a regular attendee, is not tiny and I figured if she felt comfortable in the atmosphere then I would give it a try. And Iím glad I did. Theyíre all very friendly and supportive in there and contrary to my first assumption, Iíve seen women of varying sizes and fitness levels attending. Itís a completely new exercise for me, but itís quickly helping me build my strength. So The Hit along with the trainer workouts have been my main focus for the past 3 weeks. I do the trainer workouts on Monday, Wednesday and Saturdays and go to The Hit on Tuesdays, Thursdays and sometimes Saturdays (yes! Both workouts in the same day!). Sundays I like to do something cardio based Ė walks, hikes, swimming, biking or just elliptical and Fridays are my rest days.
So although I havenít really lost much weight in the past 3 weeks, Iím not getting too bent out of shape about it because I know for sure that Iím working hard and Iím definitely building muscle. Iím already feeling stronger. And Iíve noticed changes in other ways Ė thereís a slightly more obvious cut to my waist and my posture is improving, Iím able to walk standing tall much more often than my normal slouch (I notice how much I slouch when I walk past store windows, lol). With a stronger core and shoulders, Iím able to walk tall and keep my shoulders back (and my chest out loud and proud! Haha)
Now foodwise, I havenít been too bad. Iíve been staying in my range most days Ė Iím averaging about 2 days over. Iíve kept the binge monster at bay for the most part (except last Friday when I went to a movie and got overwhelmed by the smell of popcorn and just HAD to have it. With butter. Because reallyÖwhat would be the point without it amiright?)
And finally mentally Ė well Iíve had some ups and downs. More ups this month than otherwise. Iím trying to really focus on the positive, on good thoughts, good vibes, letting go of old and welcoming new. Itís not always easy but itís a hell of a lot healthier for my psyche. And although my group therapy sessions have ended, there's a few of us that have committed to meeting over coffee every few weeks to check in on each other and that has been very helpful too.
I just wish more of my missing Sparkfriends would re-appear - I really miss them!! I'm talking to you Lola. Specifically. Yeah - I totally just called you out. Whatcha gonna do 'bout it?! Huh? ;)
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