MISHAMW   27,319
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MISHAMW's Recent Blog Entries

Back To It Already!!!!

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

First off, I want to thank everyone that commented on my blog last time! It was so night to hear that I am not alone and that there might be help for my serious cravings after all!

Secondly I decided to take some advice (multiple people) and start taking cinnamon capsules. I do take Chromax which helps with metabolism, but having IR (insulin resistance) and PCOS, I'll take what I can.

Now on to the real fun stuff. Not really.

I was off of keto eating from Friday until yesterday. I hate going so long off keto because it really makes me feel all funny. Being in Keto really does help me, so being off it more than two days, really messes with my system. So what really did me in was these amazing sugar cookies with icing from Elieen's Colossal Cookies. It's like almond sugar heaven in those cookies. I love them, and had probably 10 in one day. The next day, slightly less but still not keto.

Sunday I had my monthly anime night. You know, the one night a month I do something social. Yup, that's it. I made my Zydeco Dancer, which is a replica of the one at Razoo's a cajun chain restaurant. It has a pecan crust, cheesecake like center, and is topped with strawberries.

Monday I knew not to try to get into keto because of the "Holiday Party." Which was really a staff meeting. It wasn't so much a meeting though, but I did get the new I got a 50 cent raise. Way to throw me a bone guys. Lets just say, my 50 cent raise now makes me on par with what the new people are being hired at. Kirsten, the other person that has been there the same amount of time is making 50 cents more than that. I love that I am worth so much to them. But as my dad said, "A raise is a raise."

The food was potluck at the Staff Meeting/Holiday Party, and well, it kinda sucked. Nothing looked too good, and I really wasn't feeling it. I had a little of this and a little of that, but mostly I just snacked on my pita chips I had brought. I didn't even eat dessert. There was only two homemade desserts, which was Michelle's Monkey Bread, which I don't care for (the food or the person) and Leah's Sopapilla Cheesecake, which just looked...weird. Like I said, I wasn't in the mood for that at all.

So now I am back into eating keto. And hopefully will stay that way until Christmas.

On working out though, nothing. I am just too tired and sore physically to really work out. I don't know, but it feels like I have had a high fever and got that "all over body soreness" you get for like a month now. My back hurts, my stomach hurts...

And I just realized I have a doctors appointment today. Weee....

Luckily it's at one pm. Not the right kind of doctor, but maybe she might be able to see if its my stomach hurting or the uterus.

But back to being so sore. I don't know what I did, but I am just so weak, it's crazy. I can't seem to get out of it.

Plus my cedar fever is already giving me fits. Usually its the second week of January when it hits me, but it has started early this year with all this weird cold to warm weather we are getting.

Well off to do stuff I don't want to do, like dishes, or doctors appointments.

Have a good one guys! And keep up the hard work, the holiday season is rough on all of us!

~Misha~

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1CRAZYDOG 12/16/2014 2:47PM

    Keep on fighting!

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ALTRIA_FATE 12/16/2014 11:10AM

    Sounds like you're working to make the right decisions for yourself. Keep at it!

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Update, Update...Read All About

Tuesday, December 09, 2014

And by "It" I mean nothing.

Seriously nothing is really going on in my life. I am just kinda floating by in a haze of overworked tiredness and fake niceness that is making me want to hang myself.

Okay maybe not kill myself, but it isn't helping the depression.

When I step on the scale a few weeks ago, to see that I gained 20 pounds (from a low of 129 to 140) in my tired, sick, and carb induced haze, I got right back to being seriously and jumped into the keto lifestyle once again.

I was doing really good, until my 45 hours work week and holiday must sell induced stress go the better of me, and I got pizza on Saturday night. I was going to get back into keto on Sunday, then I saw the really good kind of donuts at work, and well, that didn't go as planned. Of course Monday came, Mom was off, so we had a free day of food, as my mom called it. So no keto on Monday. But today I am eating low carb again! Dang carbs...my ultimate vice!

When people are stress or have had a bad day, many want to go out and drink, or have a cigarette (which is really really GROSS). But I get it. It is something we are addicted too that gives us either a rush of much needed serotonin or a habit that makes us feel calm, happy, and just plain not homicidal. My craving, my ADDICTION is carbs. I come home and instead of wanting to get drunk, I want pizza and ice cream. I want chips and cake. Carbs are carbs, and even things I would normally never eat if I was eating a "normal" diet, are something like gold to me.

On the exercise front, well let's just say it's not happening. I am being somewhat very physical at work, and I am so tired, and even sore I just can't do it. Oh well. Didn't they say losing weight it 90% diet?

I do have another method of relieving my stress. Meet Wilson!



Wilson is a coworkers cat that I am thinking about stealing. Well not really, my dad would have a cow. Or I should say he would have ANOTHER cow. He was not to happy when I brought this love bug home with me about a month ago. Dad is extremely over protective of our cat Phoebe. And Wilson is about 2x bigger than her, so Dad is a little over cautious. But he doesn't care, and is a huge lovebug.

But Phoebe is not liking the fact I smell like another cat. She is not getting near me and seems to be a little more unhappy when I love on her than normal. But Wilson is the ultimate cuddler, so that helps with things.

So that's about it for now. Have a good week guys! And hopefully I won't be too over worked this week!

~Misha~

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1CRAZYDOG 12/10/2014 2:25PM

    I second the cinnamon capsules. They regulate blood sugar, which reduces the carb cravings!



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MRTHING2000 12/10/2014 6:25AM

    I know all about the serotonin struggles myself. I've tried numerous anti-depressants over the past 7 years and seem to be on a okay plan now. I wish it was all 10 out of 10 days but that isn't realistic. When I first started I was in such bad shape that I improved so radically (getting to a 4/5 of 10) that I thought I was going manic. A few tweaks here and there and I am probably just getting 6/7 of 10, not high and not lower. The mood stabilizer keeps it from hitting 0 somedays.

Food definitely turned into my self-medication. It was good, gave me pleasure, and the result was a ton of weight in about 3 years and inability to take it off. Sometimes I just gave up and didn't try. I eventually saw how carbs were causing me energy level issues--I couldn't eat enough to get to a normal energy state. Cutting them way down has really helped. Probably lost 30 pounds or so and feel better than I have in many years. A long road is ahead but it is a life's journey and not a 'diet'.

Things that appear to stimulate serotonin tend not to be good for us, which is a double whammy. Somewhat related, Parkinson's can be induced in mice by manipulating chemical levels of dopamine and other things. I suspect depression is much the same. Genetically we probably just have under-production or over-reuptake of serotonin, so we feel like crap. All human biology seems to do with chemicals--too much and that's a problem, too little and that's a problem too. Nothing in the SSRI or SSNRI group actually produces MORE serotonin (that I'm aware of). Everything just keeps it from being overly-uptaked. But what if you just 'needed more' because there wasn't much there to begin with?

A serotonin pill/pump/implant would be great but it doesn't exist. How about a brain transplant? LOL. But at least now we can look back and realize it wasn't 'us' or 'some really traumatic event' that caused depression. The body just overeats serotonin or doesn't make enough of it. It was probably always there and we are just more aware of it. Or it worked fine, and now quit (much like Type 1 diabetes. We didn't cause it. It just appears to happen. The results are abnormal responses to stressful but normal situations. It is a beast. Too much serotonin and we'd think we were invincible, running through stop signs at 90mph, being a real a-hole, and being wholly irresponsible.

Good luck to you on your journey. Expect that even when the dosages are 'right' that they can change over time. After 15 years my mom needed an increase in Prozac. It just does that sometimes. But know your own mental state and what is normal and what isn't, insist on getting better, take charge of your own treatment options, and good results will follow.

emoticon

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KIM_POSSIBLE77 12/9/2014 12:42PM

    Such a beautiful cat! I love my cat and how cuddly she is in the winter time. Hopefully the rest of this week is more on schedule for you and things can start turning around.

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USMAWIFE 12/9/2014 11:40AM

    this sounds crazy, try taking cinnamon capsules. they help end the carb cravings and so when you are stressed you will not run to them

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Super Stressed!

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

I am super stressed right now. Like uber stressed. I don't think I have been this bad in a while.

And it's my extra day off I was able to pull somehow.

And why am I stressed.

I have a coworker that is losing her home (and is currently without heat). So I was able to get it approved with the higher ups to watcher her cat.

And so here he is. And I am freaking out!

He is so awesome and sweet. Already he is up for exploring and snuggling. And I kinda love him. But my cat is acting a little strange.

I got Wilson (my friend and coworker's cat) into my room first and foremost. Then I went to grab his litterbox and things. I left the litterbox by my cat, Phoebe's so I could get some litter in it. And she got into the damn thing. When I grabbed her get her out she hissed like something crazy. I have never seen her this upset. Not even when the 3 foot rat snake made it's way into our apartment a few years ago.

She got over her hissy-ness at me for after an hour or so. Then she started acting normal. I don't know if this is going to work or not. And I think my parents might just kill me, though they did give me the okay to do this. Wilson is a neutered male that an never sprayed and doesn't scratch up things.

I am super stressing out to the point to where last night I didn't sleep at all. And today I took a nap. I want to spend time with Wilson but I am so worried about Phoebe I am just staying away from them both. Plus I am trying to act normal for Phoebe.

I am still freaking out like crazy. And I don't know why. Am I scared of my parents? Of Phoebe not like Wilson? Am I scared of it working out? Or am I scared of it not working out?

I have no idea! And I am the cat lady. I know it's actually a good first start. Wilson is fine, and after Phoebe had her moment, she was back to normal too. After a few days they might even be able to meet. But will that be enough for my parents.

I know that it can take months for a cats to adjust to a comfortable level to even be around, but I don't think my parents will let it be that long.

On the plus side, the new tv's box is perfect to block Wilson in the front and block Phoebe out. But it's more to keep Wilson in until Phoebe is ready. Eek.

Just need to not stress. And get back into Keto because I am tired of seeing 135+ on the scale when a few weeks ago I was 129! Grr.

Have a good week guys!

~Misha~

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRTHING2000 11/14/2014 8:28AM

    My cat is very sweet and love-y. But at the hint of another cat, she is a ferocious mess. Embarrassing to see her act like that. We have to make vet appointments first thing in the morning so there aren't any other cats there. I've never seen another cat be mean to her. And she was a gentle giant for years with our pet bunnies hopping around.

We once went away for a long weekend and boarded her with the vet. Big mistake. She hissed for 3 days straight (seriously!). She didn't eat though she's diabetic. She was a monster. We picked her up and they basically said they had never seen something like that before. Her 'voice' was hoarse from the nonstop hissing.

Hopefully the cat is a temporary addition, though it doesn't sound like it.



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Halloween!

Friday, October 31, 2014

Happy Halloween guys! Hope you have some fun plans and will stay safe!

I was messing around with my Spark Page today and noticed something I had totally forgotten about. My goal weight by goal day thingy!

Turns out I was wanting to be 125 by TODAY! Well that didn't happen. But I always have set backs or bumps in the road. I had that month of eating carbs because I wasn't feeling well, and I was so tired. Which I am still tired which makes for wanting carbs worse, but I am still doing well.

I got back into keto last week I think. So about two weeks total and I am still going fairly strong. I am not completely in keto all the time, but it's not like I have totally knocked myself out with pasta or cookies or a butt load of cake. So I am still considering it a WIN!

I had gained about 11 pounds when I went off keto because all I could eat was carbs. I was so nauseous that eventually even bread and crackers wouldn't work. The only thing I could stomach was Goldfish Cheddar Crackers. I got back into keto and I am back to 134 TODAY! Weee. Sure it's not my goal, but I am still doing pretty well. I have about 10 pounds to lose to my goal weight.

But really, like I said my goals are more to stay in keto (because it works for me) and cook more keto foods than anything else at the moment. I will probably stay in keto until I stop losing weight for a month or so, then start incorporating little bits of non keto foods back into my diet. When that will be, I have no idea.

I did however start my new goal to be 125 by the Christmas this year. If I follow along the keto thing, it's totally doable.

Well that's all for me. Time to get ready and go to work. Weee.

~Misha~

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FEISTYLIZARD 10/31/2014 12:13PM

    You can do it! It sounds like you have fairly realistic goals for your weight loss. I had to google the keto diet you're on and the science behind it is super interesting. So like it would really work for fat burning. Anyways, hope your day is good!

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BRAINBENTT 10/31/2014 11:14AM

    emoticon

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Friday Blog (AKA my Wednesday)

Friday, October 24, 2014

Since I work Saturday and Sunday, today is kinda like my Wednesday. Which means hump day.

It's been a long week. Or maybe that's because my weeks are running together so it just feels long. Then I look at the calendar and realize, it's almost Halloween (which I have yet to decorate) and pretty soon it will be New Years.

Oh my gosh. Time goes by fast.

We are continuing the "Cross Training" at work. Meaning though I have been exclusively cattery and front desk, I have been learning how to clean the kennel and starting next the daily duties as well. I am super excited, but then again, it means other people will be doing MY job....which makes me worried. Can they really counsel someone on cat adoptions? Can they handle speaking to an irrate individual on the phone? Can they deal with 20 people waiting to be checked out for Spay and Neuter, two adoptions, and three volunteers needing help with something? We will see.

This makes me a bit happy though. A lot of people thought my job was so easy and cushy. Being in the air conditioning. Not having to rush or hurry. It takes a toll on us, especially since before it was just me and Jon, with front desk help three days a week from another person. Not so easy now is it?

Besides that, it makes me happy because now I don't feel guilty taking time off. Though I shouldn't feel guilty anyways because Jon has done it to me multiple times. I have worked without taking a day off (going home early only twice) since I started in January. I didn't want to leave Jon having to work several days straight (like I did) to cover me, while I sit just 4 minutes away playing Skyrim.

I do need some time off...which I am planning on taking. I just don't know when. I know I can't take Christmas off because both Jon and Michelle will be gone, which means, it's just me and whoever has cross trained the best. Weee!

Oh well, that's work for you. As for the actual Spark People type stuff, I am doing okay.

I didn't exercise Tuesday or today, but I need some time off. I am tired and work (because of construction) I am getting a migraine daily. Plus I started my period. Which means I planned getting into keto and going low carb at a perfect time (not!).

What do I want on my period? Pizza and donuts. What can I have on my period that is keto? Meat, cheese, and some dark chocolate. Not the same, but I am sticking with it, and the worse of the cravings have passed. I am trying to also be gluten free and refined sugar free, but I have been indulging (though still staying low carb and keto) in treats that I shouldn't. IE cheap chocolate and cheese sticks.

Current Goals!

To stay in keto until Thanksgiving and the day after.
To stay in keto after that until Christmas and the day after.
To stay in keto after that until my birthday (January 29).

Kinda hard to do, but totally do able if I find the freakin' energy to cook something once in a while. I need to find some good keto freezable recipes and crockpot thingys. Know I know what I am doing on my lunch break today and tomorrow. Menu/grocery list!

I am not really setting a goal weight. I am still going to be active as I can be. But I think focusing on diet which is like 90% of my issue with weight and fat and HEALTH, is the key! We shall see around New Years how to proceed.

Well that's all for me. I have to get ready for work now. My shift starts in a few minutes. Thank goodness for living only four to seven minutes away!

~Misha~

  


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