Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Thanks to everyone who commented. I have given thought to all of the ideas.
There was one more thought on the topic that I thought I would share.....something that occurred to me today.
The organization that I work for provides fire protection and EMS services in my community.
I type the reports for their calls and know the dedication, energy, and selflessness of their efforts. They are sometimes called to come during the worst weather and the middle of the night. Sometimes the scenes are horrific, with people in pain, suffering, fearful, and agitated, even to the point of being near death or having slipped away. In a fire response, their efforts are physically demanding and extremely stressful. I am not always sure that people realize the sacrifice and risk of these generous public servants. Our firefighters and EMTs are volunteers. I frequently think of them as angels for our residents.
In my role as secretary, I try to be as supportive of them as possible in any way that I can.
I see the department as a team and try to make it work well as a whole, for the good of our residents and for the safety and protection of our response personnel. As you know if your read from my other blogs, I was struggling with a feeling of being powerless and invisible. I have begun to understand the many special ways that I have been able to contribute behind the scenes.
Today I realized something else. A ghost is someone that is invisible, but a ghost that does good things for others silently and unseen is an angel. I know that I'm really just an imperfect human being, but maybe I can be the angel for the heroes of my community. Understanding this, I am nearly overwhelmed with the honor and privilege of being, for just a moment here and there, their angel.
Because of personal content, all the "Ghost" blogs will be deleted in a few days.
Saturday, December 06, 2014
This is a follow-up to my blog of yesterday. My sincere thanks to everyone who commented.
They were very helpful and did shed some light on the topic. I also did a little googling and read blogs on similar topics.
There are quite a few blogs/articles where women share how they feel invisible as they get older. Many use 50 as the starting point and some even say it is a sudden occurrence.
They also share positives about this, including more freedom and opportunity to have time to do what they really want to do. Some make suggestions for ways to become more visible again.....dressing more carefully, speaking up, making achievements, etc.
So I do think that the status of women aging in our society has a lot to do with it.
Another excellent point is that communication styles and technology have changed.
This I agree with and had not really thought of. Yes, with smartphones at nearly everyone's side 24/7 texting seems to be the preferred method of communication, especially with the younger people. Since I don't text hardly at all, I am out of the loop. There are many ways of communicating and I think that we are dropping talking and even e-mailing in favor of quick texts. Maybe in the texting world, a reply to confirm that you received it is not expected --people just assume that you got it.
Another thing is that people, especially people with kids in home, are VERY busy...and I need to remember that feeling. And this is an especially busy time of the year.
Another thing is that men, especially older men, seem to think they are entitled to dominate
quite a few things, including conversations. If you really think about it, most positions of power in our society are held by older men. If you observe mixed social settings, it is mainly men that do most of the talking. The group often splits up to two subgroups divided by sex. I don't think it is just topics of conversation. I think this is the only chance that women get to talk.
Part of the reason that I am a good "facilitator" is that I am not formally in their hierarchy and my age makes me non-threatening. Because, many times, I am the silent, unbiased observer, I do feel that I can perhaps see things more clearly than if I had some type of vested interested. So, there's an advantage of "ghost status."
So, what am I going to do? I think I am going to relax and enjoy my freedom !
Plus, I've decided that I need to spend more time doing things I enjoy in older female-dominated situations so I have some sense of camaraderie and friendship ! Women in my age group with common interests and my socio-economic status will talk to me. Heck, they even LIKE to talk to me ! They are polite and even LISTEN to me !
Otherwise, I'm just going to be OK with being behind the scenes, fading into the woodwork
and going quietly about my business, work it to my advantage, and maybe even help
others because of my unique status !
Some paragraphs have been deleted due to personal information on 12/10/14.
Friday, December 05, 2014
First , let me say that I don't feel like a ghost on Spark. My Sparkfriends are quite interactive!
But in my every day life, I feel like I am being stonewalled (except by people that want to sell me something) ! This has happened before to me and it is weird.
Perhaps it is a coincidence, people are busy this time of year, or people somehow think I'm a designated listener. Here are some examples.....I send requests (multiple requests) to friends for info of some sort (recipe, occasion date, information) and get NO reply. People interrupt me and start into long speeches that involve no give and take. No one inquires about my life or seems to care what I'm into or thinking about.
Or perhaps it is:....my boring personality? .....my boring delivery? ....that I am now an "older woman" and thus have a place in society with no power and am expected to be in a supporting role (I really do suspect this is part of it) ? ...that because I am now an "older woman" and retired, people assume that I have nothing interesting going on? (very possible)......that because I am older I am just not sending out any "physical chemistry" that makes them interested? (yes, I do think this is so)
A big part of me actually likes this because it gives me a social break. So I am trying to enjoy the quietude and get involved in my own thing.
I do get that "to have a friend, you must be one" and do try to draw people out and listen to what they have to say. I'll try to more self-aware during interactions.
In the meantime, I'll just keep my mouth shut and enjoy the peace.
Wednesday, October 08, 2014
I finally have something in place that works with me and the physical demands of my life!
There is some room for flexibility as to timing/scheduling.
Bear in mind that I am semi-retired with a sedentary part-time job and don't have kids that I need to run after. I do, however, have a huge yard with lots of trees & landscaping, beach, and boats.
I do what I call "cardio" 5- 6 times a week for an hour. This can include outdoor walking,walking to Leslie Sansone DVDs (sometime with bands), or artistic line dancing. Lately it has been more times than this which I feel makes sense because sometimes my days are otherwise too sedentary. If I had more NEAT, I could do less organized "cardio".
I do strength training (in my basement) for my upper body 2X week.
I have added PopPhysique work-outs (DVD) which I plan to do at least 2X
per week. This seems to work muscles that are not worked in my cardio
and strength training. It seems to be the muscles that are needed in dance.
I stretch about an hour every night when I am watching TV.
I do yardwork outside & cleaning inside as needed. Truthfully, I am not loving either.
So I am trying to control and minimize both. The yardwork can be repetitive and make me really sore and I have to undo that to be good at dance. It is easy to get overuse injuries with yardwork, I think. And I have always disliked cleaning, although I am good with organizing.
I do keep up with the basics of cleaning, but have decided to lower the bar and not worry about everything being super clean. I have a cabiny vibe at my house anyway and fussing just doesn't fit with my vibe.
I try to add extra physical activity to get off the couch and away from the screen....
by doing anything !!!
Monday, October 06, 2014
My goal for this month is to "find out what really makes me feel good."
*Walking 5 miles with Leslie and using bands in some of the work-outs.
*Tried out PopPhysique DVD and loved it! This is unique and very targeted.
Just what I needed after doing cardio.
*Stretching. I have been stretching in the evening while I watch TV. I can't
say enough about what stretching does for me.
*Discussing something with my husband that I have been needing to for a
*Living and nourishing my inner "girly girl". My early youth was in the 50's,
what can I say. I am rocking red nail polish, new hair (highlights, lowlights),
and actual pajamas that are pretty but not cutesy (an upgrade from old t-shirts).
I gave myself 3 different kinds of facial treatments and worked on my feet.
*Realized that I need to simply avoid my trigger foods. I can't moderate them.
I'm not even gonna try because it doesn't work. I have proven that to myself
time and time again. I can moderate lots of foods that are delicious. But the
trigger foods, no....(peanuts, pop corn, potato chips...or what I call the "3 P's".
I also can't moderate heavily sugared foods if they actually have real sugar
in them....cookies, cakes, pies, ice cream, full sugared pop. I have substitutes
(with artificial sweetener ...gasp...Splenda) or fruit, and eat a serving of sweets
only on holidays.
*Eating smaller amounts of food more frequently. I don't function as well
when I am stuffed! Yet, at least once a day I like to feel full.
* I like including some of the foods that I was raised with.....BLT's (no bread),
potato salad (light mayo), french fries (baked) , jello (sugar-free) with fruit,
deviled eggs (light mayo), hamburgers (94 % fat free) on a bun. I find that you
can modify recipes and use ingredients that are lower in calories without
tasting any different. I'm not afraid of potatoes, dairy,or wheat in small quantities.
* I seem to do best when I eat a diet mainly of lean protein and vegetables.
* I love being out in nature and find that very healing. Here's a picture of me
kayaking on the great Mississippi River with my friend.
I'm the one in the yellow kayak.
Can I be a nature girl and a retro glamour girl all in one?
I think so.... I'm calling the vibe Country Glam !
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