MISTYRIOS   28,341
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MISTYRIOS's Recent Blog Entries

Back Again...

Monday, June 24, 2013

Well...Im back. Back to square one, back to the beginning, back to starting this journey all over again.
Last January I started my journey on here with a lot of energy and motivation. I did great...from January till April I lost 45lb and had managed to quit smoking.
Unfortunately, my interest in anything in my life never seems to last more than 3 months. I really don't have an excuse this time...there was no major stressful event to cause me to start eating junk again and to make me go back to smoking. It just...happened. There were a couple of birthdays and events in April where I thought I would just enjoy by eating whatever was served. I told myself it was a special occasion and it wouldn't be an everyday thing. But we all know that that's a load of crap. Once I got started I continued eating on more and more days until it was once again an everyday thing. I then stopped drinking water and exercising because I was eating crap anyways. As a result I became very stressed over the fact that I had just given up so easily and instead of doing something about it I just went out and bought some smokes. Now that I was back to being completely unhealthy on a daily basis I basically figured I might as well give up on everything. So I stopped wearing my fitbit and I stopped taking my thyroid and depression pills, and I stopped going to bed at night, and on some days I even stopped showering. I had once again hit rock bottom. Apparently thats the only way that I can come to my senses.
So here I am...3 months later, having gained back almost all the weight I lost, and having wasted all that time and energy working on a goal only to sabotage myself once again.
To be completely honest, I am not as motivated this time around. I mean, I've spent the last 11 years of my life trying to do this...what would make this time different? I don't know if I will do any better this time around but I am still here, and am still fighting.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ADZY86 6/25/2013 5:35AM

    Welcome back! We've missed you around here. I know this whole weight loss thing is SOOOO hard! Yeah, you've tried for the past 11 years...but how do you know this time isn't going to be the final time you have to do it? Every time we fall and get back up is another opportunity to get it done. This is your time girl. Just take it one day at a time....one MEAL at a time. We're all here to support you through it because we know how it feels. Just keeping pushing cos I know you can do this emoticonback emoticon emoticon

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TOGEMON 6/24/2013 10:01PM

    Welcome back... I just came back about a week ago. I agree with Favall's plan!

If you haven't gotten back on your medication, I'd recommend doing that first. When I'm depressed, I have less motivation than usual, and the thyroid medicine might help with your weight loss. And definitely start going to bed and showering daily if you haven't already... getting enough sleep is a big part of losing weight, and I always feel better when I'm clean :)

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FAVALL 6/24/2013 6:13PM

    So glad you are back with us! Just set your goal for the immediate future and map out that action plan. Once you have a couple days of accomplishing those items, you'll be back on track. We are here to support you along the journey.


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21 Tips to Keep Your Act Together When You're Depressed

Tuesday, April 09, 2013

I am a long time sufferer of depression and I know that the majority of "tips" out there are BS, but I came across this blog today and absolutely had to share!






emoticon emoticon bit.ly/11DOOu0 emoticon emoticon

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GETSALONG 4/11/2013 9:24PM

  thanks for sharing!

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JUNEBUG160 4/11/2013 5:38PM

    wow that sounds like something I could have written, lol thanks for sharing

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IMREITE 4/10/2013 12:53AM

    simple hints are good for helping when you need a little assistance.

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BLUEMATTER 4/9/2013 11:33PM

    Due to Depression and my major cause of it (lately) I cannot finish reading the Tips - but wanted to share with you That I am grateful you came across it, shared it here, and left a comment on my blog - or I wouldn't have been so blessed with a great article to read in the morning after (cause of depression/ goes to work)! Happy rest of your night and Tomorrow, Hugs!! emoticon

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BARBARAROCKSIT 4/9/2013 9:30PM

    well said.

Keep fighting.

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MOBLUEBIRD 4/9/2013 8:45PM

  Excellent blog!

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MOM_OF_1 4/9/2013 8:43PM

    emoticon

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MISSBOOBOOKITTY 4/9/2013 8:33PM

    emoticon

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Bad Day Bad Choices

Sunday, March 03, 2013

Hubby and I got in an argument last night...in which he ended up ignoring me, as usual. I got pissed off and stormed out of the house at 3 am and went straight for the gas station to buy some cigs. I was doing good and hadnt smoked since Feb 12 but every time I try to quit he always has to do something to upset me and then cigs are the first place I turn to calm my nerves. So I ended up smoking two of them but I still didnt feel good enough to go back home.

I sat in my van in an empty parking lot staring at the pouring rain for 2 hours contemplating what I should do with myself. At 5 am I decided to go through the drive through and get myself a "treat". Anyway, I "deserved" it. I bought 2 egg mcmuffins and scuffed them down within a couple of minutes. But no that wasnt enough. Then I went across the parking lot and bought myself a pack of timbits (small donuts) and ate them all one after the other. After I had finished enjoying/punishing myself I felt that I was ready to go back.

I passed out on the couch around 5:30 and had to be up to take the kids to their activities at 8. After returning back home again I went back to bed and slept for most of the day, meanwhile still not speaking to my husband. Upon waking up all I wanted to eat was chocolate. So I searched the house and found some of the kids easter chocolate and had some of that until dinner.

We were invites to a friends house for dinner and although I felt like crap and didnt want to go, I dragged myself up and went. We had salad and chicken and rice...not too bad, except that I filled my plate up with the serving size I would have normally eaten a few months ago and ate until I was stuffed. Even though I already felt uncomfortable I didnt refuse when I was served dessert; brownies and vanilla ice cream.

I was feeling so crappy today that I didnt want to log anything or even continue on spark. I had done so good so far and now I had just messed everything up because of an argument. And in the end, its not like Im punishing him....I am the only one being punished in this. I ended up eating almost 3000 calories today. And now I see just how much I was used to eating before I started this change.

I am writing this blog in hopes of looking at it tomorrow and learning from my mistakes. I don't want to feel like this again. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Sigh...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DVSONE47 3/3/2013 7:03PM

    As somebody I respect once said "What you allow, is what will continue".
You will get through this and grow stronger.
Hang in there. Tomorrow will be a new day.
Dave emoticon

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GETSALONG 3/3/2013 12:43PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon :::nods::: kinda our *old* patterns to use sickerettes & food for comfort, anger, rebellion, mad, sad, glad.... takes practice to change that! so get up, dust off and more practice! the crash, bang & booms will get to be fewer, less often and less bad if you keep practicing!

and once we do a crash bang boom, our bodies & tummies & brains start doing the yippee skippee dancing & whooping for more... you might have to tell them to knock it off... and *release* the sickerettes and extra foods again...

and explore new2u, good4u things to do instead that help you, pamper you, make you feel better... (instead of hurt you, cuz u are as precious and as important as your kidlets and it's ok to take care of yourself... after they crash, how do you help them feel better? do that for you sweetie, you're worth it too :)

but emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/3/2013 12:47:53 PM

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ANGIEN9 3/3/2013 9:44AM

    It is frustrating to have a bad day and eat too much! I can relate. Sorry about the smoking. I know how hard that habit is to quit!! It took me many years to finally stop. You can look back at this bad day and learn from it. Don't let someone else ruin your day!! Leave the room before the argument or just tell them you want to talk about it later when you have both cooled down. I have said things when I was mad that I regretted later. I don't like to be pushed in a corner. I fight back. Thankfully you learned from this bad day and you can now move on with your healthy lifestyle. One misstep is just that. One! Hope you have a better day today! Maybe some exercise would help work off the frustration!! emoticon Angie

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HANKENSTEIN 3/3/2013 9:21AM

    Being able to see the difference between then and now is a big deal and a beneficial lesson. I t was one day. No biggie. As long as you get back to it.

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NEWFREEDOM4ME 3/3/2013 8:56AM

    Right on PYNETREE! We can't control what other people say or do, BUT we can control OUR reactions to them!

Remember the other person isn't punished because WE binge, lose sleep, starting a habit that we are trying to break, etc. NOPE not at all. Other person feels physically good, got enough sleep and still smoke free. Who lost out on that choice to act out?

Speaking from experience, been there done that...no more. I found I can only be responsible for me and if someone else doesn't do right...well they will have to deal with that. I have a plan of action, and it doesn't include acting out against myself when someone makes me bad.

Hang in there, Thanks for for HONESTY and posting this situation. I admire you for doing it. This is a good reminder for me. This too shall pass.....NEXT.

Have a better day today emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/3/2013 8:58:03 AM

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PYNETREE 3/3/2013 8:40AM

    Everyone has days like this. And have caved in, filled up on crap, and the only one punished is YOU !
So now remember the feeling! The sick way you feel, the failure...and you won't be as likely to go there again.

You are stronger than this...look how well you are doing! Now get out there and SPARKle! You are a Winner. emoticon

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COLLEENROSTE 3/3/2013 6:18AM

    ~just being aware of 'comfortable', full' and stuffed is huge.
~ recognizing the difference between what you used to eat and how you have been eating recently also huge.
~adding to your coping strategy toolbox- definitely something for your to do list
~fighting with you partner- no reason to scrap all the progress you have made

pick yourself up, learn from what happened and emoticon

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MAGGIEVAN 3/3/2013 3:30AM

    Every day is a new beginning. Work with that. You can do it!

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My Talents

Tuesday, February 26, 2013


Just thought I'd share a couple of my talents with you all :)



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GETSALONG 2/27/2013 1:01PM

  emoticon wish my speakers were working, love your art, have you done any contemporary local artist shows? emoticon

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HANKENSTEIN 2/27/2013 12:49AM

    Wow. Whioch talent do you appreciate or enjoy more, your singing and piano or your art. Both seem mighty advanced to me. Blessings to you.

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MOM_OF_1 2/26/2013 11:55PM

    From one singer to another, love your voice! Very wide range I could tell from your lowest note to your highest note.... That song fitted your voice so well! I look forward to hearing more songs from you! Also beautiful paintings!!!! Have a blessed week my friend! :)

emoticon

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DOROELLIS 2/26/2013 2:51PM

    Wow. Very nice. I once wanted to be an artist, but I gave that up a long time ago, I don't have the talent. I looks like you do. Keep up the great work.

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DVSONE47 2/26/2013 12:03PM

    That was amazing. Thank you for sharing. I hope you will share more. emoticon

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ANGIEN9 2/26/2013 10:50AM

    You are very talented!! emoticon for sharing!! emoticon

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HPSANDDOLLAR 2/26/2013 7:47AM

  emoticon

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JUDYHELP 2/26/2013 5:02AM

  emoticon your very talented!! Thanks for sharing. Have a great week!! Judy

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NMSUSTUDENT 2/26/2013 4:37AM

    emoticon

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MOTLORAC 2/26/2013 4:03AM

    Wonderful, thanks so much with sharing with us. Love the voice, soft, silky flows beautifully.

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ARNETTELEE 2/26/2013 3:33AM

  Great work!

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WEARINGTHIN 2/26/2013 3:28AM

    Very nice, and very sad. Reminds me of when I was younger and unattached. I think there were a lot of almost lovers. Anyway, good luck to you. You're very talented. Glenn

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A to Z get to know you quiz

Friday, February 22, 2013

A- Available or married - common law
B - Book I'm reading right now - the Spark
C- Cake or pie - Pie
D -Drink- Water
E - Essential item - Computer
F - Favorite color - Black
G- Games to play/watch - Sims Social
H- Home town - Vancouver, BC
I- Indulgence - Chocolate
J- Job- On long term disability
K- Kids/name - Yianni, Angelica, Christopher, Anastasia
L- Life is incomplete without - happiness
M - Music group/singer - Rihanna
N - Number of siblings - 1 brother
O - Orange or apple - Either
P - Phobias - trucks and cliffs
Q - Favorite quote - What you allow, is what will continue.
R - Reason to smile - happy children
S - Favorite season - Spring
T - Tattoos - none
U - Unknown fact - I dont watch TV
V - Favorite vegetable - corn
W - Worst habit -was smoking but I quit a week ago!
X - X-ray - last one I can remember was by a dentist
Y - Favorite food - crab
Z- Zodiac - Libra

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUNEBUG160 2/27/2013 11:50PM

    Going to do this, thanks for sharing

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HANKENSTEIN 2/27/2013 12:51AM

    Nice. And I hardly watch TV either.

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RENCHOP 2/26/2013 5:14PM

    I don't watch TV either. Awesome. I pretty much don't have time for it.

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GETSALONG 2/22/2013 7:39PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon who would have thought computers & websites like SparkPeople would become essential & ways to make friends???

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MISTYRIOS 2/22/2013 2:38PM

    Sure Angie, I copied it from others as well :)

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MALIAN1 2/22/2013 9:35AM

    Thanks - I did it too.

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ANGIEN9 2/22/2013 9:13AM

    I love it! Can I use it in a blog in the future?? Hope you are not as sleepy today. I bet the twins are a handful!! I can not imagine having one 3 year old to chase around let a lone two!! Double trouble! (No offense. I am sure your kids are great. I just never had any and I can't keep up with them!!)

Have a nice day! Angie emoticon

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GHOSTFLAMES 2/22/2013 4:58AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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