MOMMABEAR121
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Tuesday Day 9

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Well folks I'm still streaking along .. no booze .. great food choices ( maybe to ample of portions .. I will change that today) .. and not as much exercise and play time as I like .. but that too will change today ..
Its hump day so am I on the way up or on the way down??

I'm getting ready for a sleep in town couple of days ... tomorrow I will pack up and spend Thurs night and Friday in the motor home at work .. have to make sure I take along all the good reads I have set aside for such a peaceful time .. I spent last Halloween in town stayed in our office /rig shack for the night .. ( borrowed my granddog Tiny ) she and I had trick or treaters early .. then walked the 5 acre yard for the fun of it before locking the gates .. that is a feeling like no other ... sliding those two twenty foot gates shut and putting the lock in ..
hmm keeping me in or others out ?? lol

I've had a great 8 days .. one never even realizes how bad a habit is for you until you quit it .. last Jan when I started the FMD is was5 weeks booze, coffee , sugar, white starch etc free and felt out of this world amazing ... I felt good for long enough to want that feeling back .. and that for me is the secret to getting to where I need to be ..
the ability to sleep and sleep well .. wake up rested and ready to take on the world
so much energy
so many great thoughts and ideas for work and play
just an over all sense of well being ..
I'm hooked on that feeling !!
and I know this is just the beginning .. wait till I start really having fun .. dancing and curling .. snow shoeing and skiing ..
Well shower time then off to work .. If I have time I will continue this blog ... I do have lots to say ..

Sending you all what ever you may need at this point in time .. a hug ... some energy .. a smile .. a pat on the back ... a well done .. a I love you .. here it comes ..
and a huge thank you ... its so good to know this journey is one we make together .. we have each others backs ... I am grateful for Sparkspeople ... thank you !!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TSISQUAUSDI 10/29/2014 8:29AM

    So happy you are finding ways to make your life better! It's amazing how much doing something for yourself will perk you up, and even more amazing that we stop. You can't give from an empty basket, so take the best care of yourself so that you have something of yourself to give, instead of letting other use you up! emoticon

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SNS1968 10/29/2014 7:39AM

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1HAPPYSPIRIT 10/29/2014 7:28AM

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Day 8 begins

Monday, October 27, 2014

Day 5 Day 6 and Day 7 all became a whirl of activity
Home Friday after work with my little frogs to try and cram as much fun in as we can before bed, so out came their box ..
yep a great big box that a branch shreader machine came in ... there is room for the two of them to visit and have lunch or color or read.
then the chalk to make the path to their house .. a hop scotch path .. some flowers and the sun of course ,coloring books and crayons , healthy snacks ... da da let the fun begin
Sat was again action packed , out doors with the mini donkeys , carve pumplins , start a teddy bear jig saw puzzle , and watch Frozen..
Sunday was a helper day .. we dusted and vacuumed , polished and shined , made a cake , salad, and cleaned vegetables together .. one chef on the counter , one on a stool and grandma !!
Then a cattle drive at Auntie Tashas.. home again to make supper because Travis ( Daddy) was coming to pick them up. Meagan and her boyfriend Taylor came for supper .. ( Meagan was at our house Saturday to for a whirl wind game of hide and seek .. she is by far the best hider .... she can sneak into any place ... then be quiet as a mouse then when we give up still manage to scare the beejeepers out of us ... there was lots of fun and laughter in my house these past three days ..

And grandma behaved .. ate well ... no booze ... lots of exercise and had fun..
But exhausted .. pooped out..
As they were driving away my heart brought to mind two gals I know that are raising their grandbabies .. one gal and her husband are raising four grandchildren for the past 3 years the other couple are raising 3 babes for over a year ... no one was hurt or injured in accidents , no one fell on hard times and divorced ... nope in both cases the sons of these parents are still married to the mothers of these children but are drunk and stoned and not capable of looking after them ... or better put they have chosen to put themselves first and the kids last .. so the grandparents in both cases have stepped up to the plate to take over .. !!!
I can only imagine how their lives changed from ready to retire to plain old tired.
The schooling , the hockey ,dance, etc.. Sick children , some that need counseling and all that need unconditional love to try repair the damages done at the hand of their parents .. and in both cases these children were at least a thousand miles from their grandparents so the close bond that is formed over time and frequent sleep overs wasn't there ... just a week or so in the summer when there parents came home to reconnect ...
Yes as a huge part of my heart drove away last night I pondered the plight of these two families and thanked God above for the children I raised and the choices they have made .. to be amazing parents ...
I am truly blessed ... and now will start to make these two families a Christmas basket to express my care and concern for all of them as they journey through life ..

Today Day 8 I'm boosting up my playtime .. music cranked where ever I happen to be .. careful preparation of good healthy food ... in smaller portions I must add .. ( I do eat healthy as a rule ... I just need to eat as much as the size I would like to be can burn off ) .. I need to remind myself I am not a lumber jack .. even though I have the appetite of one !!

Happy Monday dear Sparky friends ...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TSISQUAUSDI 10/27/2014 6:52PM

    I think the best way to not wind up raising your grandchildren is to discipline your own children when they are young and teach them respect and responsibility. My son has always been told that if he's man enough to make a baby, then he's man enough to be on his own to take care of his wife and child emoticon - He's not living with me! He also knows that if he were stupid enough to make a baby with a drug-addicted, lazy scank, he'd better be prepare to raise that child on his own, or DCF can find it a home. They're not living with me. It's amazing just how responsible young adults are when they know they have limited choices and no safety net for stupidity!

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Day 4 Thursday

Friday, October 24, 2014

my day was perfect .. I ate well exercised .. had a little fun creating a dried flower arrangement for my entrance ..

Finished cleaning up my garden table .. have about 30 pounds of ripe tomatoes I'm going to wash core and freeze .. then bag them up for soups, stews and sauces.

Off to work soon ... but will have passengers on the way home .. my little frogs they are coming to help gma decorate for Halloween .. their mom decorates every room .. not me usually but I think things are going to be different this year lol

We have 4 garden raised pumpkins to carve .. one for each of us ..( we will include gpa) then we can put candles in them and light them up when it gets dark .. I'm not a huge fan of the smell of burning pumpkin lids but I'm sure it will bring back tonnes of memories ..
We have a list of things we want to do .. so I will take some pics and blog when I can .. I might get them to dictate what to say tomorrow morning ...

Happy Friday .. I am excited for me .. 4 days of committed food and exercise .. and no booze .. yea for me .. I'm on a roll and feeling better every day ..
Huge hugs my sparky friends .. xoxoxo

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TSISQUAUSDI 10/25/2014 12:32PM

    It looks like you are on your way to a wonderful weekend! So proud of you for sticking with your program, too! I save my "booze" consumption for the occasional glass of wine or light beer with a friend, and those days a few and far between, It's okay so long as I keep it in perspective and add the calories into my daily total. emoticon

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And then it was Day 3 and Wednesday

Thursday, October 23, 2014

My day began at 4:30 as usual .check up on my on line friends while oil pulling .. 30 minutes .. now for a fresh cup of coffee .. the smell alone makes my day
Some time with my TZone machine .. it shakes everything into place .. then a shower and pretty up for work ..( that seems to take longer every day )

Pack a lunch and take enough home made soup for my daughter to enjoy .. she takes her old pup Tiny to work as well as her new baby Bella that she acquired from her son (my grandson) when he decided he would rather have a girlfriend instead of a puppy .. So there is lots of four legged action to cut the usual hum drum of work ..
Of course my granddogs cant wait for me to get to work .. gma always has food and we go to the kitchen .. they are my side kicks .. so happy to see me .. now that's a welcome that is worth the drive let me tell you.

My work day went well .. and the evening at home was spent glued to the TV after the terrorist attack in Ottawa of Parliament Hill .. I'm not a huge news fan because it is always depressing but this news is damn well scary ..
When people of your own country turn against the land that they live in and join terrorists organizations out of boredom or lack of fitting in or what ever ... then have the balls to pick up a gun and attack our country from the inside .. I am furious!!
He deserves to be dead ..

Just bugger off if you aren't happy .. go sit on a hill somewhere and do your drugs or what ever you do .. leave the rest of the world alone.

My day three personally was perfect and on track .. politically on the world front .. the terrorists want to create fear ... well I for one am not afraid of idiots with or without guns .. now go crawl under the rock you came from or get with the rest of us working hard to maintain a peaceful healthy life!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TSISQUAUSDI 10/23/2014 8:08PM

    I agree with you about the terrorists - They don't even deserve due process in my book.
And isn't it awesome to have coffee and dogs to share your day!

BTW - I wish we had choke cherry trees here - One of my favorite Native foods: Fry bread with choke cherry gravy!!! I haven't had that since visiting friends on the Pine Ridge Reserve in South Dakota!! Yum! emoticon

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DAY 2

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

My second day of committing to me was amazing .. I felt self care , and self love . I even stayed home from work.

I like being alone at home ... if my husband is here I would just as soon not be ..

that is because my time now becomes his...
No I don't want to steer the tractor while you pull it to start it ..
No I have better things to do that hold the flash light ...
and on and on
but now that I think about it with an open mind and heart ..
... that is his way of wanting to spend time with me ..
Light bulb moment again
so now his requests of my time will make sense .. I'm sure I will be just as annoyed but I will understand

my day started with oil pulling
a fresh cup of ground coffee
some reading and some exercise
a wonderful easy fresh breakfast of sprouted grain toast with cashew butter , some blueberries
hit the water

then make my tent fort .. I always make them for my little frogs so they can escape .. mine was cozy and warm but not near enough room to sit cross legged and color .. or eat my lunch as they do ... now to get the rest of my supplies in there with me that was impossible .. so I had a good laugh ... there was one end of me sticking out regardless of how I positioned the blankets ..
so gathered it all up put it away and moved to my corner of the living room .. I have a special corner and have had for years that is mine ..
to dream, to sleep , to write or read .. or just let the sun shower the love of the Universe on my face ..
On came the music ... up went my feet and I read .. got a second cup of coffee and I counted my blessings

I am the one that is so hard on me ...
and yes Little Bird you hit the nail on the head ... I allow myself to give and give and give and give then wonder why my life is so empty ... and yes I fill it up with booze and food ... then face the next day with regret and condemnation of myself .. then repeat ...
You my dear friend should be in online counseling .. you have such a way with cutting through the mumbo jumbo to make perfect sense of any and all situations .. you are gifted with a great sense of reason and common sense ... I'm so glad you show me the way when I get lost in my own fluff .. my own turmoil

I used to be very balanced and in control .. were my thoughts after reading your response to yesterdays blog ...
what happened ??
Well a lot of hurtful things happened ... called life ... but when I really self examined what had changed about me and my way of doing things I soon realized that I was the problem ... I no longer was able to rise above the situation .. I had allowed myself to become each problem instead of being able to see them for what they really were ...
Rise above them and direct myself to the result I desired .. I know how to do that .. I know with all my soul .. I need to bring the universe ... God and angels back to do the heavy stuff and I can just direct traffic so to speak instead of being in the traffic jam and run over ... or not being able to get out ..
The saying goes ... you may not be able to change the wind ... but you can adjust your sails ... that is what I will do today .. I will set sail for happiness and play .. no tent fort today .. but I think I will create a me corner now at work .. make it personal and inviting and just for me ..

To my dear friend Little Bird .. thank you ... thank you ... may the universe shower you with your hearts desires ... and bless and keep you safe , healthy and playful .. always ..

  


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