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Cannot Believe I Said That

Sunday, July 13, 2014

I am hating this day: Just 7 short days ago i weighed 4 lbs less than I do today, and I was so hopeful that I was back on the losing streak. Two days later the scale showed a gain, then another gain, and now today it's another gain. I can't figure out where water begins and fat ends. I know I'm over-reacting, and I feel a bit foolish, but it scares me: I've lost more before, and I've gained it-plus back. I need to see clearly what it is that I'm doing wrong. I'm not seeing it, and there is no rain to be gone. I am hating this day because I have to post this four-pound gain, and admit that I am a loser-not.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BETRHO48 9/16/2014 10:41PM

    Have you read the book Friends with the Scale by Linda Spangle? You might find some helpful things in that book. I have just begun reading it. Weight does naturally go up and down from day to day. It is a very complex thing to understand. There is a lot of science that goes into what happens with weight as it changes. Sometimes my weight fluctuates based on water and/or amount of protein consumed. If you haven't done so already, you might want to look at what you are eating and compare to SP recommendations.
Best wishes.
~Beth

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KELLIEBEAN 7/13/2014 8:31PM

    You have received good advice. What about medications? Are you on any medications that could be causing this? Maybe a thyroid issue?

Go through your nutritional tracker with a fine tooth comb after you make sure you are tracking everything, the good, bad and the ugly. Make sure you are reading food labels to be certain what you think is one serving isn't really two or three.

Try changing up your activity if you haven't yet. Try a quick spark video in the morning, a walk in the afternoon, then another spark video or whatever workout you do in the evening. I find spreading out activity throughout the day helps me get over a hump sometimes?

Do not give up! This too shall pass!

emoticon

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PINKPANTHERS 7/13/2014 7:23PM

    Days like this are hard to take, and I think we all have weeks where what we expected was not to be. Some great questions to ponder have been posted. Have you been logging/weighing everything? I find I tend to underestimate if I eyeball my portion sizes and that skews my calories. Don't quit, take a deep breath and re-evaluate. You can do this, it is just a bump in the road. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon big hugs!
Dawn

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ROCKPORT9 7/13/2014 5:59PM

    All good questions from previous post. It is hard, but you are a fighter and can kick back! emoticon hugs, Laurel

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1CRAZYDOG 7/13/2014 1:23PM

    Foolish? No! Human? YES We anticipate things to go one way and it doesn't. Major disappointment. That being said, think about a few things:

1. Has your usual routine been disrupted/

2. Have you been getting less sleep than you need?

3. Is there a stressor or stressors that are taxing you right now?

Just a few things I look @ when these things happen. A journal helps me nail it down. That's just me.

4. Has your ST increased? That process of building muscle does release more water in the system -- temporarily.

5. Have you been drinking your water consistently?

6. Are there any NON-SCALE related measures that are unchanged or better -- like you clothes fitting the same of better?

Good luck, hugs and hang in there.

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ICECUB 7/13/2014 1:02PM

    emoticon you are not a loser. you can do this

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I lose because I track; therefore, I win

Tuesday, July 01, 2014

Well. That's not entirely correct. In order to lose, I must eat less and/or exercise more, first, but I do like to think that tracking alone will make me lose. The past three months were difficult, but are behind me. It's time to cleanse the psyche, and move forward. One of the methods suggested for psyche cleansing, is to forgive someone. Another method is to improve the diet, and get more exercise -- this I am working on. Think I'll let go of a grudge I've been holding onto for years, and forgive someone who wronged me a long, long time ago.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PUGLOVER1999 11/4/2014 10:32PM

    I know it's "old," but I love this blog!

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ICECUB 7/1/2014 6:48PM

    emoticon HARD TO DO. emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 7/1/2014 3:38PM

    Tough to do but well worth the way it makes YOU feel better. HUGS

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KELLIEBEAN 7/1/2014 9:14AM

    Good for you! Positive energy and activity!

emoticon

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Worst Case of Easter Basket Pig-out I've Ever Experienced

Saturday, May 10, 2014

I think I am fully recuperated, at last. My last blog is visible as I'm writing this, and in that one, I'm complaining about being 156lbs and having completed a 1200-cal binge. I've no clue how many calories I ingested this past week, but I did manage to rid the house of a box of girl-scout cookies, a bag of marshmallows, a bag of gold-fish crackers, a bag of jelly beans, a few cadbury eggs, some buttered sourdough bread, an envelope of whole-grain crackers, and the remains of a bag of tortilla chips. The good-ish news is that then I threw out another half-bag of marshmallows and called it quits. The really good news is all that junk is out of the house, the bad news is the shame of being out of control, and gaining 2.6 lbs. The annoying news is my a1c was 7.4 on Tuesday; too soon to be a result of that 10-day pig out. Don't know what snapped me out of it - running out of junk, the 2+lb gain, or the a1c, but something caught my attention; I think I might survive! I really did well the two weeks that the family was here - even the three days that #1 son's doggies were here (I dislike dogs) -- I deserved the Mothers' Day card he sent (which he's never done in the past). Each of the other three boys sent me (beautiful!) roses.
Re-reading aforementioned blog, and I see a whatchamacallit: anxiety, anger, and frustration predate the pig-out. This bout of aaf is dh's impending open-heart surgery, the frustration of not being able to talk him into doing it now (the valve is 80% closed), rather than waiting, and the anger that I can't talk him into doing it because #1 it's his choice, #2 I could never forgive myself if something should go wrong. That is one big aaf - no wonder I pig-ged out! The aaf isn't going to go away for quite a while; I'm so grateful that I finally got a grip.
8-)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATEECHER 5/12/2014 3:05PM

    OMG, I can so totally relate to the AAF. Wow, you have a big one to deal with. That must be hard. I try so hard to just "let it go" but sometimes I can't and all I can do is stuff my mouth. Not a good alternative but that is the way it is sometimes, especially when the AAF is really heavy duty. Thinking of you and sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

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1CRAZYDOG 5/10/2014 10:19PM

    HUGS and prayers!

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TRINIRN40 5/10/2014 10:14PM

    You'll get back on track!

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ICECUB 5/10/2014 10:04PM

    emoticon emoticon SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO GET OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM AND GET RIGH BACK ON TRACK.

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Soft and Fluffy

Sunday, March 02, 2014

Yup. I was a skinny kid, and mom was always on my case about my weight. When I was 14 she told me that grandmothers need to be soft and fluffy. I retorted that soft and fluffy was not what I wanted to be. I vowed I would never be a soft and fluffy gramma, furthermore, I would never be heavy enough to be a burden on the people who were caring for me in my old age.
I managed to stay hard and boney until I was 38 when very slowly the pounds began to pile on until I became a soft and fluffy 220+ pounds grandmother. I remained there for many years.
Then, at my annual checkup, my doctor called me old; which caught my attention, and I remembered my 14-year-old-me's vow; I decided to do something about my situation.
Three hundred and thirty days ago I began this program, and have lost 63.2 pounds. Most of me is no longer soft and fluffy. . .there's a soft tire, and a fluffy gut, but the rest is as hard and boney as a 156 lb woman going on 130 pounds can be.
Five days ago I went on a short 1200 calorie binge that threw me for a loop.
Today, I feel like a changed person. I don't know if that will be my last binge, or not. What I do know is that it wasn't the binge that threw me for the loop - it was the anxiety, anger, and frustrations that I had been experiencing for the previous two weeks, that had nothing to do with my weight, that threw me for the loop that ended with me going an the binge.
Now. How do I experience anxiety, anger, and frustration without being thrown for a loop that ends with a binge?
If it's only a 1200 calorie binge, is that ok?
Maybe I'll figure it out after I get the taxes done.
Fiddlety--dee. Tomorrow is another day.
8-)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MACMOM57 3/4/2014 9:51PM

    Turn the page your doing well. Stay strong you can do it. Great blog.

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CINDYKC2000 3/3/2014 9:50AM

    Always remember where you came from and focus on where you are going. Everyone hits bumps in the road both in life and on our journey. You are doing awesome and this bump in the road is a way to reflect.

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1CRAZYDOG 3/2/2014 9:23PM

    Don't beat yourself up! You're on the path now and take it a day-at-a-time. Wish I had better advice for you but am sure some others will.

HUGS

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FIT-N-TRIMME 3/2/2014 7:08PM

    Wow, you have done so much. when you find out, let me know. and tomorrow is another day as you mention,

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Thoughts on the Cottonwood

Saturday, February 08, 2014

I fell in love with the cottonwood and JR almost simultaneously. The two years we spent together ended rather abruptly, and very painfully. I Still miss the cottonwood, but there are others and I am still in love with them all - JR -- not so much.
It took me years to become obese, and it's taking me years to become not.
As well as becoming not, I'm becoming better. Why this is coming to me so late in life, I'll never know, but I am confident that it will. Fortunately for me, that wrenching experience with JR didn't destroy my faith in myself. Life has thrown me many a curveball over the years, but it's taken me way too long to be the me that I am.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ICECUB 3/27/2014 10:10PM

    IT IS A LOT EASIER TO GAIN THAN TO LOSE. IT SEEMS LIKE I AM ALWAYS TRYING TO GET STARTED. emoticon

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HELENTORTOISE 2/10/2014 11:50AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MTRACHEL 2/9/2014 9:46PM

    Every day we have 24 brand new hours to live! Sounds like you are!

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1CRAZYDOG 2/9/2014 9:13AM

    emoticon

۱ ̨۱ ̨۱ ̨۱ ̨۱ ̨۱ ̨۱ ̨۱ ̨۱ ̨۱ ̨۱ ̨۱
\̅_̅/̷̚F
2; \̅_̅/̷̚ʾ \̅_̅/̷̚ʾ \̅_̅/̷̚ʾ \̅_̅/̷̚ʾ \̅_̅/̷̚ʾ
GOOD MORNING


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NUTRON3 2/9/2014 6:18AM

    emoticon

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LOSE4LIFE47 2/8/2014 11:14PM

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