Thursday, September 11, 2014
My last blog, my dear friend and accountability partner raised some good questions, and GOD raised some good questions and pointed me in a direction toward answers.
I cant take a leave of absence. I have a week of shared leave saved, and about three days of other leave. So the most I could take off to straighten things out is 10 days. I am the primary bread winner, the daycare pays the mortgage but I get everything else, and my job supplies health insurance. Until that changes, I have to work. So I have always thought that I would retire from the state. In 18 years. But really, I don't think I can stomach it; the bureaucracy, the secondary trauma for 18 more years. While I did talk to my boss about her disability comment, and she said it was totally off the cuff, random and not serious, it did get me thinking, as did _Ramona's comments. What if there was something else out there? My goal board, as me furthering my education, and working more towards health social work.
and then I had a doctor's appointment, who offered me a job. It's not right away, but in about 6 months, she would be looking to hire someone to do diabetic coaching, medical social work, life coaching. With a little more training, I could do that. I have an advanced generalist MSW, which means that I know a little bit about everything social workee. I asked her how serious she was, and she said very, it was just a question of billing. So, THEN GOD intervened, and I magically got an email about an online course around health, nutrition and human anatomy. I'm going to write her up a proposal, that basically says a free trial run, if she paid for this course, which I will complete in the next 6 months. I would take patients during the 5-7 nights at the clinic. which is only 4 patients a week, but maybe it's enough for her to see that this is a really good thing. Or I could switch to a 4 ten schedule, and spend one full day at the clinic.
So, I see a light at the end of the tunnel.
And I learned, or reinforced another lesson about living a PALEO life. My challenge this week was pre-planning. I had dinner planned and tracked. Each day, I send a group text to the family, giving the menu and asking how will be home for dinner. Last night the plan was chicken Caesar salad. I needed to know how much chicken to get at the store. Husband and Princess both replied that they did not want chicken, that they wanted to go eat at the Chinee, all you can eat porkfest. I really wanted a family dinner. She is leaving in a week, and it's limit how many family nights with all 5 of us we have left. So I agreed. Husband said, that remember you can eat one meal a week of you "cheat". So I ate. and was up all night with FIBRO pain. I think it was the glutton in the soy sauce, the MSG in the garlic sauce, the bad fat in the crab wontons. Lesson learned. That while I get a "cheat" meal, I still need to follow the health restrictions.
My son is learning a lesson in fitness. He has breakfast at 7 AM. Which is usally a grain filled, sugar filled bowl of NON PALEO cold cereal, or an EGGO smeared with peanut butter ans syrup. ( not my purchases, but somehow they make it in the house, thanks DAD). his lunch is at 1:30. By 11, his sugars have dropped. He landed in the school nurse office, and got sent home. SCHOOL NURSES aren't allowed to do interventions. I am now trying to make him protein filled things that he will eat in the morning, and stuffing his backpack with protein bars. i really wish he would eat fruit and veggies.
And to end on a sad note, my two Blue Healer bad disobedient trash eating have jumped the fence and have gone on the lam.
Sunday, September 07, 2014
It was a hard week. Partly because I ran out of both the pain med, and the fibro med, and the insurance wouldn't refill the script till Saturday. Both Thursday and Friday I gave in and skipped the morning walk, which sets me up for the rest of the day. I ate Fast Food. I did not make my de-cluttering goal. My boss mentioned that I could take disability. Which really pissed me off. I am still able to work, but it's hard. I am still a valued employee, who is doing a thankless job, and doing it well. I will NOT let this stupid disease ( ok, diseases since I am complicated) define ME. I am more than fibro, more than diabetic, more than bi-polar. BUT it is taking all I have got to keep them in check. Baby asked me to do a parent thing at school for him, and I told him no, no extra's until I get a handle on health, and house cleaning.
so the goals for the second week are:
1) morning walk with Catlady, Mon- Friday. 10,000 steps, which will mean some sort of walk after dinner, except on Tuesday when there is a parent meeting at school. Tai Chi every day for a least one or two of the forms we have been taught.
2)planned meals. Breakfast is easy, shake or eggs, or sauerkraut and sausage. Lunch should be easy, chicken salad of some sorts. But I have to pack it, plan it ahead or I give in and eat fast food. ( to the dismay of the budget and the waist line). Dinner is planned for the week, all paleo. I asked Baby what his favorite Paleo meal was and he said Steak. So we are grilling T-bones this week. my snacks are planned, cerely with hummus, carrots with hummus, almonds, apple and almond butter. should eat within calorie range, and I WILL track it in calorie differential challenge.
3) de-cluttering. I didn't make much of a dent, but today I will set up my new canisters. I bought a set at GOODWILL, and want to put all my morning potions in them, and label them with my label maker. Today, I WILL finish this project, and clear off the counter where they will go, and maybe the table if I have time.
4) financial health. still tracking the receipts, the good, the bad and the ugly ( fast food). I can already see items that are extra, and can be eliminated.
Two more weeks till Princess leaves. First full week of school. Football season has started. I went to the Varsity game, thinking we would see BigBOy play, but no. NO Playing time for him. It was an incredibly boring game, filled with penalty back and forth. We won, 20-14. Hopefully, He will get playing time on JV. The baby played in PEP band, and loved it. Came home horse from his yelling. Today should be filled with house cleaning, laundry and week prep but We have a family obligation. I really like it when they show up to my hosting, so it's only fair that I show up to theirs.
Off to more sparking.
Wednesday, September 03, 2014
I've had trouble sleeping, rambling thoughts that I just cant corral. Yesterday, I came home early because I ached. Like a tooth ache in my whole body. I made dinner, took pain meds and went to bed. Tossed and turned, sleep in spurts. I had great plans, I was going to wake up at 5, get some house chores done, walk etc. When the alarm went off, I got up to walk. After our 45 minute walk, I called in sick and went back to bed. The thoughts of what I have to do is so overwhelming, in the face of that, I just curl back into fibro pain. I have been thinking about having a family meeting, with the boys and the husband. I cant be the only one who cleans, and clearly, the state of the house shows that I havent been keeping up. I ask, assign chores and they ignore me. Its a sign of disrespect. and I have let them evolve into this. It's time to get serious.
Friday, August 29, 2014
Starting weight 312.
Monthly minutes: 745.( below goal)
goal of 150 minutes a week; 5 out of 6 weeks.
goal of daily intentional exercise: 16 days out of 31 ( planning on making the next two days).
Eating below my BMR: 21 days out of 31 ( not counting the next two days).
Streaks: not so much. I lost my log in streak on one really bad day. I lost my weekly streak on one really bad week. I haven't made a week of paleo sober.
Ending weight: 308, but it read 298 this morning, but I don't trust it. I'll weigh 9/1 for a real weight.
Looking back, it was a semi hard month. Not so much Mania, better sleep, not so much fibro pain. Lessons learned: planning is key. prep work can not be undervalued. I am going into September with some lessons learned under my belt.
What to expect in September?
Goal One. Daily exercise. Combination of Catlady walks, Tai Chi and bike to work. It should equal to 90 minutes a day, which is 630 minutes a week, over 2, 800 a month. I am aiming for 540 a week, and 2,000 a month.
Goal two. Daily within Calorie range, under BMR. How to accomplish that? Follow paleo sober food plan, no night time eating. No fast food, plan each lunch, dinner and snack. Check blood sugar nightly.
Goal three: documentation. calorie differential challenge daily, streaks daily, goals and measurements daily.
Goal four: De-cluttering. Spend at least 10 minutes a day doing something besides laundry, dishes, trash ( which are daily anyway).
Goal Five: Financial health. track spending. Save receipts. Pay bills on time. Save for spa,
Ultimate goal is to lose weight and lower my A1C, manage my chronic issues better.
Obstacles that might come up. (Out of town trips ) conquered by preplanning and packing food, meds, walking shoes. Plan for day of rest following a 12 hour day. I know that that the 8 will be a long day out of town. Schedule my day to start so I can walk, tai chi and bike in the morning. Two days off already scheduled; taking Princess to campus on 9/19, and going to the specialist on 9/24. I have a scattered amount of doctor's appointments in town, and will make those before work. This month, I am going to start saving for the SPA trip in May.
The last days of August are planned. tomorrow will be the dry run for biking to work, working to finish up my reports. Sunday will be a family day away from the house. Planning is key.
Friday, August 29, 2014
Week wise, it was ok. Tuesday I thought my planning went really well. Thursday, I had an unexpected trip out of town, and didn't really get a chance to plan for it. Since the current boss is rigid about overtime, I have a 3 hour lunch break in the middle of my 12 hour day. I spent the time at home, until my computer died. Then I went to the pharmacy, and talked to them about drug interaction, thinking that the itchy twitchy semi catatonic state tuesday night was a drug interaction. She ran all my drugs, and supplements into the computer program, and while they are all suppose to cause low blood sugar, no twitchy can up. She thinks it because of a a particular med, the anti manic med that might have two high of a dosage. The primary doc thinks that it's the drug that the psych scribed. the psych thinks there anxiety attacks, and prescribed something that turns me into a zombie. I wont take it. Then I went to the health food store, and stocked up on things that I think make it better. I went back to work. I worked late, because of the appointment out of town. I got home at bedtime, ate dinner ( still Paleo sober) and tried to unwind. I had much fibro pain. Catlady thinks that the bad nights, fibro pain, can't sleep come from days out of town. I didn't sleep well, waking up with fibro pain. BAD DECISION TIME, to stubborn to take the zombie pain killer med. I just tossed and turned. Catlady came, I declined to walk, BAD DECISION TIME, I made it to work, lasted two hours. MIGRAINE, ate fast food ( bad decision), need to sleep. I looked at my reports that are due, decided that I could turn them in on Saturday, and went home for a nap. BAD DECISION TIME. so now I am committed to working tomorrow, and I have this wiggly thought that I don't have everything I need to complete them, and because it's Saturday, the schools and doctor's office will be closed. To rescue the bad decision, I have decided to make tomorrow my test run for the bike. I have everything I need. Bike helmet, bike lock, bike, basket for lunch box and purse, rescue kit at the office. Tomorrow, I will wake up at 6am, Walk to Tai Chi from 7-8, Tai Chi from 8-9, walk home, bike to the office, and try and rescue my reports. It's a good day for a dry run, the boys will be working for grandma and performing a dump run, the princess will be recuperating from her first college social outing, which occurred today at the local theme park, husband will be helping with the dump run, and watching zombie movies ( his way of decompressing from his week.) Because Sunday is booked for a family outing away from the house, and Monday is booked with thrift store shopping away from the house, Tonight, I get to do laundry, prep for next week in the kitchen, and try and plan for next week.
There just isn't enough time in the week.
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