Tuesday, April 15, 2014
....A message that use to be on VHS tapes when you rented them at the store.. and that is what I am doing this
Week, I am being kind to myself, I have decided to lay off and give myself a break
a break from self destruction
and negative thoughts and actions.. no stepping on the scale, no beating myself up this week.
So I am rewinding to the beginning when I started my journey and It was simple and easy to follow and I did not make it complicated
Which it is not I who gets in my own way can make it that way.. things where broke and I fixed it and it worked so I need to rewind the tape
And follow the instructions and journey that I was taking back in 2010 when I started this..
I also realized that starting over is not a bad thing, look at Spring,.. it happens every year at this time, it is a new chance to start over fresh
new beginning all fresh and reborn. I use to hate starting diets over and over and over, and that is why they never worked and too I know this is not a
diet it is a way of life.. and well I am living it.. ok fine I hit a pot hole but I did not fall so deep that I could not crawl out. In the past I would gain all my weight back
and then be even more in despair and self destruction, I am proud of my accomplishments, through out this journey, the fact that I have lost 100 lbs and the fact
that I can walk, and ride a bike, get in and out of a car, bend down tie my shoe fit in a chair, get in and out of my car, go up and down stairs.. and the list goes on..
besides the fact that I tore my knee this December, I am unable to do a heavy bootcamp type of work outs any more but how cool can I say I injured my self doing something
of physical sport activity and it was not weight related issue.. LOL
. Use to be in the past I would say my knees hurt, my hip hurts my back hurts.. and it was all because of my
weight and not that fact that I did something to being active.. .. I love being active and active is the way I am going to stay hurt knee or not it is getting better
So I am rewinding and being kind..
Saturday, April 05, 2014
.... People can make on your mood, I have to say thank you to everyone who lifted me up and made me feel like I can do this, I was down but I was not out.. and now I am back up.. I know that I have come a long way and I got a long way to go.. but where am I going? I mean I plan on living each day as well as I can and I should not be in a hurry to get where I think I demand to be I mean yea I have goals and I will meet those goals all I need to do is work toward those goals and I will get there the rest this weight will come off. but if it did not then I need to except that.. I need to except where my body is right now and lets face it ..it is not where it use to be 330 lbs out of shape, unable to climb stairs with out huffing and puffing I can ride my bike, walk 5 miles, be active and on the run, I can walk around the whole store with out pain in my hips and make excuse why I need to sit or leave that instant ..yes things have changed for me and I want to keep doing them and keep challenging my self.. seeing I should not run do to my knee but I can still walk so I am going to challenge my walking pace.. this Summer, also I have a challenge for my self to finish a 30 mile bike race in less then 2 hours.. I am going to do it this Summer.. I want to finish it in
an hour and 45 minutes.. and I think I can do it.. my road blocks are hills, so this Spring.. I will be challenging hills..
So Thank you again.. to everyone.. the scale has moved a tiny bit and it is in the right direction and for me the scale has to be only once a week thing.. which I am going to do going forward..
Have a great weekend all
Tuesday, April 01, 2014
Besides it being Spring and I have taken off my winter gloves, but I am putting on my fighting gloves now..no more fooling around April first may be a fools day but I am not going to let it be the whole month.. I have new refined determination .. almost like it was 4 years ago when I joined spark for the first time. which was 4 years ago this month.... so let me bring you back to 2010.. when I was 330 lbs and depressed and was at my wits end.. I was just told I could not have the bi pass surgery due to my hernia, I had just lost 20 lbs and was told I need to do this if I did not want to die, I was pretty lucky that I did not have all the diseases that went with obesity such as diabetes and sleep apnea I walked out of the Doctors office very determined and I told my self that I was going to fight and do what ever it took.. and well it took a lot of sweat, tears and fighting to lose 100lbs which I say I could not of done it with out the help of this site and spark friends and family.. ....
Now fast forward to present time.... we all know that the road that we travel on this journey is not smooth sailing there are bumps, potholes, and detours, but we get through them sometimes it takes longer other times not.. I made a wrong turn around the Holidays and well some weight has come on.. 10 to be exact.. and I just cannot get it off.. I thought it had to do with the fact that I can not work out like I use to be able to because of my knee and too I stopped going to the gym due to my knee, so the only think I can do is ride my spinning bike which I have one at home so I ride that and do free weights and such.. ...
But today I found out there is much more reason of why the weight is not coming off as fast as it use too. I am officially entered menopause.. My GYN confirmed it today and she told me it is going to be a long haul from here on in.. and harder and harder... but.. the good news is that all what I am doing the good eating and the working out and healthy lifestyle living that I am doing is working for me because I would only be where I was 4 years ago and more some..
So, seeing how I like to fight and defy the odds. I walked out of my doctors office and said menopause you are going down with a fight.. that is for sure.. I am going to go back to what I did 4 years ago of hard core tracking, portion control, low fat, low carb and really watching what I eat..limit my cheat days. yes I believe in them but they are going to be far and few till the 10lbs that I gained and the rest of my weight are gone.. The gloves are on and I am ready to fight.. because I am not going to let this menopause change who I am ...
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