MSANITAL   70,441
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It was all so exciting

Sunday, August 24, 2014

I just went back and re read my blogs when I first joined Spark.. they where so full of hope and inspiration and motivation by my self.. and the responses from members some still here some not.. where so inspiring .. I was on top of my game or at least I thought I was.. maybe I was.. So your asking am I on top of my game now?
NO... I don't feel it..I feel kind of like I am going through the motions.. and not really working it.. OK I am in sales.. I sold houses for 5 years and I was very very good at it very competitive and very on top of my game.. I had to be or I did not make money.. I was always doing my "homework" to become an expert on the market.. I read books, I listened to other agents I watched other agents.. I enlisted in a couple of coaches to help with my sales.. and followed their advice to a Teee. and that is what worked for me.. I felt I had to be One step beyond everyone.. and I was.. or at least I think I was.. was there someone better then I ? yes. was there other agents who sold more then I ? oh yea.. but I wanted to be like them, I watched them and I followed what they did. and it worked..

The Day I joined spark and set up everything and read a lot of stuff I decided to apply the same attitude to my program.. and it worked.. it really worked tried to be one step ahead of me.. and my emotional eating.. I did what ever it took, I read... and re read arterials.. blogs. posts, recipes everything that spark had to offer.. I joined teams got into challenges.. started a team. too.. lead some teams.. really dove into it..
besides spark.. I ate clean everyday. planned out my meals, packed healthy lunch for work.. went to the gym, walked, rode my bike.. and got 8 hours sleep.. I was happy and the weight it came off..

Now I think the honey moon is over.. I don't have the same vigor and drive like I did I don't sell real estate any more I got out when the market went south and I need to get a job.. I now work in sales again and I love it keeps me going it keeps me on my game.. and I do enjoy this job a lot..

as for my program.. I am struggling.. well not struggling I am like I said going through the motions.. and feeling like I should be doing more or something different.. the weight has stopped coming off. I gain more then I lose.. one week up 1 next week down 1 one week up 2 one week no loss it goes on and on and on..
One thing for sure is I still use the tools, the tracking, the reading, the blogs and members.. thank God for members who support me and encourage me.. because I am not sure where I would be if I did not have that..

So is it still exciting ? but of course.. I may not feel excited at times.. but I know that this is life and life has its ups and downs.. but that is what makes it exciting

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUCKYDOGFARM 8/26/2014 8:06PM

    For me, I think I need more challenges to get the ball rolling again. Or the scale moving down....
Usually we've done mileage challenges and have gotten good results. I haven't had any mileage challenges this year. I think it's time to start one!
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JLPEASE 8/26/2014 1:48PM

    I think going through the motions is important when you seem to have lost your "spark". I'm in that place now myself, but it's getting better a little at a time.

You did a good thing in looking at your past blogs too. You can see how your state of mind was at the time when you were doing so well. You can also feel a little more confident about your success.

It sounds like you've had some stress in terms of your job situation too, but that's looking up too -- you are back to doing something you love.

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GOCALGAL 8/26/2014 11:50AM

    emoticon emoticon Such an honest thought provoking blog and such great comments and advice from everyone too. Thanks for sharing!

For most of us, it's never easy at least for long For me it's about reading books and blogs that encourage me to continue to try to find strategies and habits that will work for me at this time.

It's also about hanging as tough as I can to not to gain back what I've lost during my weak or challenging times. Which is now. I've done this way too many times. I try to focus on the positive things I've done and am doing and to minimize the negatives.

I am currently trying to get back under a line that I have drawn for myself. As a Spark Buddy wisely said, "It's time to stop the madness." emoticon emoticon Never quit just keep taking one step at a time and one day at a time. emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/26/2014 11:57:19 AM

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CAPECODLIGHT 8/25/2014 10:11AM

    I hear you! I'm in an up and down phase myself. We just need to keep reading and learning and finding what works for us - and - how to sustain it. Not rocket science, but somedays it feels like that.

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JANETRIS 8/25/2014 8:47AM

    CRAZYDOG is so right about the honeymoon phrase. At Weight Watchers we talk about the "new member glow" lol! We do have to dig deep every day. Maintenance is hard no doubt about it. We surround ourselves with positive people and activities to keep the ball rolling.....it's what we do to keep on going. It's better than the alternative! emoticon

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CAROL3SAN 8/25/2014 8:44AM

    Hope you will have a good day and will get all of that old excitement back again. You are so much worth every effort you put into achieve your goals. emoticon

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NANHBH 8/24/2014 9:22PM

    Anita,

I love your honesty. It is so refreshing.

I posted this link on our team discussion board, but will post it here for you, too. It's the little things that add up and give us confidence to try the bigger things.

http://www.sharecare
.com/health/weight-loss/article
/get-skinnier-with-these-2-smal
l-changes?eid=1010716231&member
id=30648686&_sid=cc98d51f-a58c-
4599-8913-327219611362&#cmpid=ranl001

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1CRAZYDOG 8/24/2014 5:05PM

    You know, I think you nailed it when you said that the honeymoon is over! That's what happens in life, in any relationship. Then it's about finding ways to get comfortable with the more routine feelings that go along with the honeymoon being over.

Fake it till you feel it is a start. But we have to dig deeper. I had to do more emotional work on this journey than physical! Seems odd, doesn't it!? But that's the truth!

I find reading blogs is very inspiring. It's all about finding what sparks that inspiration and motivation in yourself.

Getting down and dirty with ourself isn't easy, but that's what it's all about.

HUSG

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A much Better Day.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

In the quest to keep up with my journaling and writing things down to get them off my chest I also need to write down when things go well, which was and is today..

went to the gym with my daughter today really worked out hard and then we went to a sauna session together which was so relaxing.. all and all day was great..


Thank you all for your support and encouragement it is a working ..

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANHBH 8/22/2014 9:44PM

    S0unds like a fabulous day! Enjoy the rest of your summer.


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JLPEASE 8/22/2014 3:28PM

    emoticon
I'm glad things are better today. emoticon

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GOCALGAL 8/21/2014 6:24PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 8/20/2014 8:52PM

    Awesome!

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CAROL494 8/20/2014 7:36PM

  emoticon

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The Voice..

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

No you will never see me on the voice.. can't carry a tune that is for sure, but their is some voice that I was hearing all day and that was my chastising negativity voice.. letting me know that I did not lose the 30lbs that I planned on losing this Summer check not losing it I gained weight.. and I keep looking back what the heck did I do all Summer? I thought I worked hard.. yes I did I worked out 5x a week rode my bike as much as I could.. went two weeks, carb free then low carb ok yes I did have a few slips but they where nothing like what I use to do years ago where I would eat and eat all day long.. the slips where a little indulgements here and there but I really don't feel that they warranted such a set back of no weight loss and with all the working out I did or do..

People who I talk to other then spark members that I know tell me that they drink beer have pizza have that occasional ice cream cone, they run 4x a week they bike they work out and yet they still lose weight or maintain it..

Ok, ok.. I am sounding jealous and envious.. but serious I am .. I mean I am being super honest about my food and what I have ate. I don't eat fast food.. except pizza, I don't eat packaged of processed foods. heck I juice 3x a week. but I have not in about 2 weeks but still why has no weight gone off but it goes on..

I have had my thyroid checked, I have complained to my doctor so much that she put me on a diet pill I was so despite that I took it but I have stopped taking them because I don't think I have a appetite control problem. I wake up have a great breakfast, I plan out my lunch and dinner.. when I am sitting here like I am not 7pm at night after dinner is done and I am relaxing.. I am not picking, or munching no soda is sitting next me to water is.. I think I have a good healthy habits.. yet no weight loss..

Now this is all what the voice in my head keeps going over and over its like a bad tape.. and I am trying to get answers out of something that is not answerable..


Thank you for putting up with me.. I am blogging and writing this down apposed to maybe eating over it or letting it build up..

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANHBH 8/22/2014 9:39PM

    Plateaus are a _itch, aren't they? You're doing all the right things. Hang in there. Your day will come.
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LUCKYDOGFARM 8/21/2014 10:32PM

    Keep it coming MsAnita! Eventually the weight will come off. I'm having similar problems. I have gained back so much weight this year and I thought I would be down 10 pounds. Now I have 25 to lose instead. I think age has something to do with it for me at least. And life's disappointments havent helped. I know that when I work out, I'm not putting my all in to it. I'm just there doing it. Not feeling it, not accomplishing anything. Just doing. Making my spark point quota.

We will beat this! emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 8/19/2014 8:30PM

    I just read this and maybe it will help you. I hope so.

Stop the Negative Self-Talk Joy Bauer Food Cures

One of the worst patterns a dieter can fall into is negative self-talk - the inner voice that tells you you'll never reach your goal, you deserve a chocolate bar because you've had a hard day, you've already blown your diet so you might as well order the cheesecake, and so on.

If you're a victim of negative thinking, a little cognitive reordering may be just the ticket for you. This type of intervention involves identifying your sabotaging thoughts, questioning their validity, and then taking positive action to change things.

Maybe you can identify with someone who constantly thinks, "I've always been heavy, I'll always be heavy. I've tried a million diets, and they just don't work for me." Rather than writing off any possibility of success, you are far better off questioning why past diets have not worked for you and thinking about alternative approaches to weight loss.

First off, you might want to review all the diets you've tried to see if they failed because they were unreasonable to begin with. If it turns out that they were extreme (no carbs, no fat, no sugar) or bizarre (cabbage soup morning, noon, and night), you can respond to your inner antagonist by saying, "Perhaps if I use a healthy, realistic, and sustainable approach, I will reach my goals." If you feel you're already making informed food choices, you might consider focusing on exercise as your primary weight-loss tool, along with sound eating. Or, if emotional eating is standing in your way, perhaps you should redirect your efforts towards coping with the issues that lead you to self-medicate with food, so you're in a better mindset to address your weight issues.

Whatever your situation may be, the important thing is to take those negative thoughts and turn them into positive action. The single most important ingredient for successful weight loss is to believe in yourself and set forth with a can-do attitude. Are you ready to try this new approach?



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UMBILICAL 8/19/2014 7:21PM

  Don't listen to that one.

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GEORGE815 8/19/2014 7:20PM

    Keep doing the positive things.

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This is the Day that everything changes..

Monday, August 18, 2014

I wrote that in my status today, because today when I got up with a weekend food hangover.. I decided that no more.. no more fooling around.. no more playing with fire and no more wishing that the rest of my weight would come off.. I don't know what hit me this weekend if it was stress or anxiety or maybe even both and the killer was this weekend was a planned weekend we had left on Friday to pick up my daughter from hockey camp in Lake Placid and the shoot over to Boston where she had a tournament to play in so lots of driving, lots of eating on the run. but what I found my self doing picking and eating JUNK.. my allergies where killing me.. it was like having a hangover my head was killing me I could not think just sat and ate and I hated that. other then that the weekend was good. she played very well and she as scouted out by a woman's junior hockey league, I mean that girl is on top of the world and I am so happy for her. She or course knows we cannot act on that because of the fact that don't live there even though she wants us to sell the house tomorrow and move.... hahah.. but seriously I told her that there will be others just keep playing the way you do.. and there will be more offers..

Yesterday feeling just a little better and vowed that I was not going to overeat or make bad choices, which got me through most of the ride home.. but what really got me through is this book I had downloaded and was reading on my kindle, it was a romance story of a girl who lost a ton of weight and went back to her home town to rekindle a high school love.. cute and kept my mind off of things that is for sure.. but what really hit home is when she was talking about the reason why she gained so much weight after collage even though she was a successful business owner.. and that was fear.. wow that hit me.. that four letter word.. fear.. I knew just what she meant .. it brought me right back to when I was 25 and I had lost a like 80 lbs.. ad I was so happy.. so thin I had dates, and friends and clothes.. but it all came back on do to my binging and eating in stead of saying thank you to someone who said I looked good I would run home and eat.. and I could never figure it out.. I thought I out grew that.. when I got older.. but I guess I didn't and that is fear.. why.. should I have fear now I ask my self. I am married I got a man who loves me I have a great family, healthy and happy, a good job.. I mean I am no CEO or business owner I am happy with what I do.. my oldest is 21 and working and is trying to make a life.. my husband talks about retirement which he can because he has worked for the state for 30 years.. so what am I afraid of???

So today I woke up and decided I was going to find out.. and work on me again.. I will admit I have been so consumed with working out, and planning my meals that is has taking over my life. I also have been so concerned with the fact that no matter what I do the scale is not moving. I know some of you have heard me whine and cry about that and to this day I don't know why well.. if I keep eating like I did this weekend that is the answer but its the days and weeks that I don't eat like that is what baffles me.. but that changes.. today I am going to start to work on what I am afraid of and what do I want to do from here on out.. how can I change and what do I need to do to change it... because this is the day that everything changes..

I do still plan on staying with spark. what I need to do is start using the tools again, such as blogging and writing things down.. the girl in the story talked about that.. that she always wrote down everything her feelings her food her emotions and she kept a note pad with her.. she worked through her feelings that way instead of eating.. and she stopped pretending that she was strong to handle it.. wow that hit me too because I do that all the time.. pretend that "I am strong" I got this.. when I don't have this.. but someday I will..

Thank you for listening to me, everyone on spark has been such a great supporter of me. and it is this site that I can come to for help and guidance.. and I am so happy to have that.. and from now on I am going to use that tool and reach out and ask for help..

Hugs to everyone..

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANHBH 8/22/2014 9:35PM

    Great blog, Anita. That's the way to journal about what's going on - and then hopefully find some answers.
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LUCKYDOGFARM 8/19/2014 9:31AM

    Congratulations to your daughter! How wonderful for her! Maybe once she graduates high school she will be able to pursue that.

The fitness and dieting does seem to consume us. I know I have been trying to stay off the computer so much, and the more I stay off, the further I get from my goals. I've been trying other fitness apps, but the support just isn't there like it is with SparkPeople.

Let's band together and start being accountable for our actions!
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ALBURBRIDGE 8/18/2014 6:15PM

    I think battling the emotional issues of being overweight is extremely important. Good luck to you on your journey and I'll be watching for your blog posts.

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PIXIE-LICIOUS 8/18/2014 2:22PM

    Awesome blog! I know you can do this! I am rooting for you!

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1CRAZYDOG 8/18/2014 10:29AM

    Definitely journaling, blogging, tracking all helped me. HUGS

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BOOCH6 8/18/2014 9:37AM

    What a great blog !! Every word I read I felt was my story, although my daughter plays softball instead of hockey. LOL ! I think you're right about fear, maybe the fear of success and what will we do when we actually feel better about ourselves ? I don't know, I just really related to your story. I hope you don't mind if I add you as a friend. Thanks so much for sharing !

- Barb

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Self Assessment...

Wednesday, July 09, 2014

Well, it has been over a week now that I embarked on a new approach to my program in efforts to get the scale to start to move again.. (in the right direction). It seemed like I was spinning my wheels.. and then I was reading a post on one of my teams that sometimes we need to try a different approach.. .. That is when I started what I am doing now which is bumping up my fitness. which I am in the mist of a 12 week cycling program to learn how to be a better cyclist and to get lean in the mean time.. I think I got the nutrition part going well, this is the official 1st week of the bike riding.. I am going out again today which will be the 3rd time Not that I have not been riding but with this training I am doing intervals which has gotten my speed up a lot.. I am so excited to keep doing it as well. and the other work outs such as strength training which I love as well, yesterday I spent a good hour and a half in the gym working on all parts of my body.. by using free weights and machines.. which I have been doing that for a while now.. I do see a difference and I feel so much stronger.. so that is a NON scale victory..

As you know my doc gave me some "diet pills" seeing I had a open mind I decided ok maybe this is what I need to Jump me gain.. here is what I have to say about those pills.. nada.. the only thing I see positive is that I am not ravished through out the day.. have no desire to "snack" on something and when I see someone eating a cracker I don't say "oh just give me one" My calorie range has been really good for this past week or so.. even on the weekend I was in my calorie range and high on protein levels too.. H2o OMG I have been drinking a ton.. which is good and my green tea..

So I am seeing a lot of positive things.. ....Ok yes I am going to now talk about what I don't see.. (did you think I could not complain)? 1. the pills, I cannot sleep. and I don't like that.. I do not have any other side effects.. like racing heart rate or shortness of breath.. my energy is still the same as it always has been it has never been an issue for me.. 3. My mood is not effected .. meaning I am not itchy. matter of fact I might be a bit calmer then I normally am.. but what I don't see is weight loss..
yea.. I stepped on the scale.. this AM and I am still the same.. as I was in the docs office.. I just cannot go there.. I am not going to let it bother me.. so I am going to stop the pills. don't want to risk the long term effects.. I am not sure if I did not give them enough time to work or not but.. seeing how many calories I burned last week over 3,000 and keeping my calorie intake with in rage I should of seen 1 to 2 pound drop.. there was not weight loss.. I am not sure what more I need to do..yea I know I need to give it time.. and I am going to I am not going to give up, but the pills are history.. I am excited about the training program I am on for cycling and that will keep me going.. I also think if I keep reaching out .. I will be less likely to want to reach for food..which I was doing good in that department as well before the pills, I did not think I needed an appetite suppressant . One thing I have learned or am learning with this book I am reading is eat when you are hungry.. an appetite is not what you have when your body truly needs food.. an appetite is when you see something and you want to eat it.. and you eat it.. I think with out those pills I can do this on my own.. and maybe now I will get a good night sleep..

I know one week is not long for a true Assessment but I think if I keep giving my self weekly reviews and hone in on what is working and what is not working in the long run I will be better off..

Thank you for your support.. this is always what I need and get from Spark..

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANHBH 7/24/2014 6:16PM

    Anita,

So glad that you got off the diet pills. There are no free lunches (no pun intended). You chemically (through drugs) screw up your body, you'll pay later. Your liver has to cleanse those chemicals out of your blood. Almost every drug affects your liver. And you can't live without it.

I'm glad that IndyGirl's blog gave you some inspiration. So many of her points remind me of you. You are getting healthy, Girlfriend!
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MISSG180 7/14/2014 12:51PM

    Not to keep harping on you, but I thought I'd point out the following:

Last week, my average daily calorie intake was 1800 calories.

I lost almost 3 pounds. 2.8, to be exact.

I'm currently wearing some capris that earlier this year I couldn't zip.

Your doctor is wrong, wrong, WRONG to suggest a very low calorie diet.

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SNOWYOGA 7/10/2014 3:03AM

    emoticon

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JLPEASE 7/9/2014 4:57PM

    emoticon

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LUCKYDOGFARM 7/9/2014 1:27PM

    MsAnita, I am so glad that you are dropping the pills. I didn't like that you were taking them. I do believe that you are not fueling your weightless. I'm thinking that will your calorie burn you need at least 1500 calories a day, probably more like 1800-2000.

When I first started my weightless journey, I went to a nutritionist and showed her my food journal. I was eating around 1000 calories a day and not dropping an ounce. Your body needs fuel!

How are your clothes fitting? Maybe you are converting fat into muscle! Your clothes should be fitting you differently, even if you aren't losing weight.

A number on a tag, tape or scale is not a measure of our health.

PressOn!

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MAMABEAR372 7/9/2014 12:27PM

    I wanted to share this with you, I thought of you when I ran across it in the middle of the night. It is just other things to look at. I know you want that scale to move and are doing it all right to get it to. But keep this in mind too.

http://www.sparkpeople.
com/blog/blog.asp?post=10_signs
_you_are_getting_healthier_even
_if_the_scale_doesnt_move

Or you can type in the SP search 10 signs you are getting healthier and this blog will come up. It may not be what you are interested in, but I found it a good reminder.

Stay strong and bike on!

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1CRAZYDOG 7/9/2014 11:50AM

    Good job on your progress. As for the pills, maybe they haven't caused a weight LOSS, but sounds like if you're less ravenous, maybe they helped a little! But, for sure, you are going to do what's best for YOU and that's what it's all about.

It's good accountability practice to do a weekly evaluation.

HUGS and wishing you continuing progress in your efforts.

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MISSG180 7/9/2014 10:31AM

    I missed the pill part in your other post. WTF is she doing prescribing to you like you're a character in Valley of the Dolls?? I think your doctor is a quack, and a dangerous one at that. If you are eating 1100 calories and working out that much, your metabolism is dropping through the floor because your body thinks you are starving to death.

I am really worried about you. This is unsustainable, and the kind of thing that can trigger you into a huge weight gain when your body has loaded you down with enough hunger hormones that you can no longer control yourself. Weight control is not just a matter of willpower.

Comment edited on: 7/9/2014 3:18:31 PM

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NHES220 7/9/2014 10:07AM

    First of all - congrats to you on your success so far! I know you want to continue to lose more and I know you will do it. I love that you are doing a self assessment and trying different things to break past your plateau. That is how you figure out what works. I think you are right to ditch the pills - long term they may have bad effects, who knows. We know people using things in the past have had a lot of complications. Also, dropping your calories too low may have a negative effect especially with you ramping up your workouts. I will offer up what works for me and I get nothing out of it, you can check it out. For me, calories in/calories out just wasn't working. So I follow The Metabolism Miracle - based on insulin resistance. It is pretty carb restrictive especially in the first 8 weeks. It has worked for me and is working for a fellow Sparker that I recommended it to - Allycandoit. Written by a dietician - Diana Kress. In case you want to check it out. I prefer the actual book to the Kindle version due to some tables that do not display on the Kindle version. Best of luck to you!

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CAPECODLIGHT 7/9/2014 9:28AM

    Sounds like you had a successful first week in making modifications to your efforts. Results will happen!

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ANDREWMOM 7/9/2014 9:12AM

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LOVELESMILLS 7/9/2014 9:04AM

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