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Self Assessment...

Wednesday, July 09, 2014

Well, it has been over a week now that I embarked on a new approach to my program in efforts to get the scale to start to move again.. (in the right direction). It seemed like I was spinning my wheels.. and then I was reading a post on one of my teams that sometimes we need to try a different approach.. .. That is when I started what I am doing now which is bumping up my fitness. which I am in the mist of a 12 week cycling program to learn how to be a better cyclist and to get lean in the mean time.. I think I got the nutrition part going well, this is the official 1st week of the bike riding.. I am going out again today which will be the 3rd time Not that I have not been riding but with this training I am doing intervals which has gotten my speed up a lot.. I am so excited to keep doing it as well. and the other work outs such as strength training which I love as well, yesterday I spent a good hour and a half in the gym working on all parts of my body.. by using free weights and machines.. which I have been doing that for a while now.. I do see a difference and I feel so much stronger.. so that is a NON scale victory..

As you know my doc gave me some "diet pills" seeing I had a open mind I decided ok maybe this is what I need to Jump me gain.. here is what I have to say about those pills.. nada.. the only thing I see positive is that I am not ravished through out the day.. have no desire to "snack" on something and when I see someone eating a cracker I don't say "oh just give me one" My calorie range has been really good for this past week or so.. even on the weekend I was in my calorie range and high on protein levels too.. H2o OMG I have been drinking a ton.. which is good and my green tea..

So I am seeing a lot of positive things.. ....Ok yes I am going to now talk about what I don't see.. (did you think I could not complain)? 1. the pills, I cannot sleep. and I don't like that.. I do not have any other side effects.. like racing heart rate or shortness of breath.. my energy is still the same as it always has been it has never been an issue for me.. 3. My mood is not effected .. meaning I am not itchy. matter of fact I might be a bit calmer then I normally am.. but what I don't see is weight loss..
yea.. I stepped on the scale.. this AM and I am still the same.. as I was in the docs office.. I just cannot go there.. I am not going to let it bother me.. so I am going to stop the pills. don't want to risk the long term effects.. I am not sure if I did not give them enough time to work or not but.. seeing how many calories I burned last week over 3,000 and keeping my calorie intake with in rage I should of seen 1 to 2 pound drop.. there was not weight loss.. I am not sure what more I need to do..yea I know I need to give it time.. and I am going to I am not going to give up, but the pills are history.. I am excited about the training program I am on for cycling and that will keep me going.. I also think if I keep reaching out .. I will be less likely to want to reach for food..which I was doing good in that department as well before the pills, I did not think I needed an appetite suppressant . One thing I have learned or am learning with this book I am reading is eat when you are hungry.. an appetite is not what you have when your body truly needs food.. an appetite is when you see something and you want to eat it.. and you eat it.. I think with out those pills I can do this on my own.. and maybe now I will get a good night sleep..

I know one week is not long for a true Assessment but I think if I keep giving my self weekly reviews and hone in on what is working and what is not working in the long run I will be better off..

Thank you for your support.. this is always what I need and get from Spark..

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANHBH 7/24/2014 6:16PM

    Anita,

So glad that you got off the diet pills. There are no free lunches (no pun intended). You chemically (through drugs) screw up your body, you'll pay later. Your liver has to cleanse those chemicals out of your blood. Almost every drug affects your liver. And you can't live without it.

I'm glad that IndyGirl's blog gave you some inspiration. So many of her points remind me of you. You are getting healthy, Girlfriend!
emoticon

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MISSG180 7/14/2014 12:51PM

    Not to keep harping on you, but I thought I'd point out the following:

Last week, my average daily calorie intake was 1800 calories.

I lost almost 3 pounds. 2.8, to be exact.

I'm currently wearing some capris that earlier this year I couldn't zip.

Your doctor is wrong, wrong, WRONG to suggest a very low calorie diet.

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SNOWYOGA 7/10/2014 3:03AM

    emoticon

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JLPEASE 7/9/2014 4:57PM

    emoticon

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LUCKYDOGFARM 7/9/2014 1:27PM

    MsAnita, I am so glad that you are dropping the pills. I didn't like that you were taking them. I do believe that you are not fueling your weightless. I'm thinking that will your calorie burn you need at least 1500 calories a day, probably more like 1800-2000.

When I first started my weightless journey, I went to a nutritionist and showed her my food journal. I was eating around 1000 calories a day and not dropping an ounce. Your body needs fuel!

How are your clothes fitting? Maybe you are converting fat into muscle! Your clothes should be fitting you differently, even if you aren't losing weight.

A number on a tag, tape or scale is not a measure of our health.

PressOn!

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MAMABEAR372 7/9/2014 12:27PM

    I wanted to share this with you, I thought of you when I ran across it in the middle of the night. It is just other things to look at. I know you want that scale to move and are doing it all right to get it to. But keep this in mind too.

http://www.sparkpeople.
com/blog/blog.asp?post=10_signs
_you_are_getting_healthier_even
_if_the_scale_doesnt_move

Or you can type in the SP search 10 signs you are getting healthier and this blog will come up. It may not be what you are interested in, but I found it a good reminder.

Stay strong and bike on!

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1CRAZYDOG 7/9/2014 11:50AM

    Good job on your progress. As for the pills, maybe they haven't caused a weight LOSS, but sounds like if you're less ravenous, maybe they helped a little! But, for sure, you are going to do what's best for YOU and that's what it's all about.

It's good accountability practice to do a weekly evaluation.

HUGS and wishing you continuing progress in your efforts.

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MISSG180 7/9/2014 10:31AM

    I missed the pill part in your other post. WTF is she doing prescribing to you like you're a character in Valley of the Dolls?? I think your doctor is a quack, and a dangerous one at that. If you are eating 1100 calories and working out that much, your metabolism is dropping through the floor because your body thinks you are starving to death.

I am really worried about you. This is unsustainable, and the kind of thing that can trigger you into a huge weight gain when your body has loaded you down with enough hunger hormones that you can no longer control yourself. Weight control is not just a matter of willpower.

Comment edited on: 7/9/2014 3:18:31 PM

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NHES220 7/9/2014 10:07AM

    First of all - congrats to you on your success so far! I know you want to continue to lose more and I know you will do it. I love that you are doing a self assessment and trying different things to break past your plateau. That is how you figure out what works. I think you are right to ditch the pills - long term they may have bad effects, who knows. We know people using things in the past have had a lot of complications. Also, dropping your calories too low may have a negative effect especially with you ramping up your workouts. I will offer up what works for me and I get nothing out of it, you can check it out. For me, calories in/calories out just wasn't working. So I follow The Metabolism Miracle - based on insulin resistance. It is pretty carb restrictive especially in the first 8 weeks. It has worked for me and is working for a fellow Sparker that I recommended it to - Allycandoit. Written by a dietician - Diana Kress. In case you want to check it out. I prefer the actual book to the Kindle version due to some tables that do not display on the Kindle version. Best of luck to you!

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CAPECODLIGHT 7/9/2014 9:28AM

    Sounds like you had a successful first week in making modifications to your efforts. Results will happen!

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ANDREWMOM 7/9/2014 9:12AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LOVELESMILLS 7/9/2014 9:04AM

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It's Just another day.....

Friday, July 04, 2014

I love the Holiday's I think for me my favorite is Christmas that is why I always go so all and all out for it.. Today is another Holiday that a lot of people go all out for as well. I just read that this other spark member wrote that she use to go all out and party it up and now they are low key.. and just because it is the Holiday there is no reason to get off of the healthy track.. So I started to think.. I do not want to take the
"all or nothing approach" at our cook out today which is nothing fancy it is just family I did all the cooking so guess what not a ton of food.. just the basics.. yes desert will be there.. but ya know if I am going to have it then I need to make the decision right now if I want it.. and not when I am slicing it.. because if I am going to have I got to re arrange what I am going to eat.. so I ask my self is it worth it??

Well today I don't want it.. I am happy with what I am going to have at the cook out. which is something I don't eat all the time.. so that is my "rich" food for the day..
now I already worked out today I rode my bike 13 miles.. burned a ton of calories but.. I don't need to make up for it..

I think I am just going to treat this day like any other day..


Happy 4th of July.. if your lighting fireworks be safe, and if it is hot where you are make sure you drink lots of H2O...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANHBH 7/24/2014 6:17PM

    Dang, you're good!
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LISALOSING52 7/8/2014 4:11PM

    Hope you enjoyed the cook out and it was a fabulous 4th. emoticon

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JLPEASE 7/7/2014 1:46PM

    Hope you had a great holiday!!
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SNOWYOGA 7/6/2014 2:32AM

    Sorry Just got on Hope you had a Happy 4th of July too! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MINDYJ1 7/5/2014 8:55PM

    Hope you are having a great Fourth of July weekend! emoticon emoticon

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LUCKYDOGFARM 7/5/2014 1:26AM

    Sounds like a great plan MsAnita! I know that on days I want a dessert, I cut back on other things. It helps!

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1CRAZYDOG 7/4/2014 3:41PM

    Great! Have a good time.

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WAY2GOCAT 7/4/2014 2:28PM

    Why not have fruit? Watermelon must surely be on the menu!

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Changing my Apporach..

Wednesday, July 02, 2014

Today on one of my favorite teams page.. the leader posted a thread about, ... it is was not working change your approach.. well this got me thinking.. it is not working.. matter of fact this was my response:

when I started my journey in 2010, eating 3 meals a day 2 small snakes working out.. tracking my food and fitness on spark.. reading blogs, being part of a community.teams and always reading and researching healthy lifestyles and ideas it did work for me. the weight came off. and I was feeling good, and motivated.. my approach was to" shut up and listen" and get out of my own way.. I told my self that.. and it worked.

As you know things are not working but I just do not know how to change up any of what I listed above.. I still feel that I need to do all of that.. which I do but there is one thing that is going on and I NOW can see that.. I am in the way of my self.. everyday I am a road block and I know it.....

Yes eating less calories and burning more is going to equal weight loss.. but it is not working for me right now and I am fighting it.. so I need to look into changing my calories in and out.. and I am working on that..

Tracking??? I will never give that up.. I feel if I don't track.. I will lose control.. same with coming here..to teams and forums.. but as I said I am In my own way.. I have not shut up.. I have not sought out help via articles and blogs.. wheather it be Spark or other stuff.
but I think something just landed on my door step to make me shut up and listen..
some how I was sent this book called "bike your butt off" (also a bill came with it) I think it was because I was on this cycling site couple of weeks ago. so I started to read the intro and I think this is going to be what I need. it is a 6 week plan to become a much better cyclist and to drop weight.. I don't know if any one knows this but you can burn up to 800 calories an hour by cycling at a speed of 13mph.. that is more then runners.. and cycling is easier on your joints.. yes there is more to cycling then just peddling.. I have always known that.. but it dose not have to be Hard work..
well any ways I think this is the approach I need and it just landed on my door step..

Now after I wrote that I had a follow up visit at the Doc's but before that I went swimming and did some strength training Strength work, which I always feel so good after doing..

So of course I had to get on the scale.. now the last time I was there and they weighed me I was devastated by the number.. I mean I was working so hard and that was two weeks ago and I still have been working hard.. eating 1300 calories working out no picking no snacking .. I did have popcorn (no butter) yesterday about 2 cups.. well any ways the scale was only down 1 lbs.. Ok.. I am not even going to rant.. they put me in the room blood pressure is good.. wow I was shocked, Doc comes in and we talk about why I was there.. real quick I had this lump on my leg its a fatty tumor under the layer of skin it don't hurt but its weird they wanted to have it checked make sure it was nothing serious.. there is a name but gosh I could not spell it that is for sure.. any how doc and I where talking about things.. and this Doc I have never seen her before I have always seen the NP.. so then she says to me "gosh Anita" a lot of this problems will go away if you lose some weight" Really??? you think.... but instead of flying off the handle I said "let me tell you my history" so told her and then I told her how I am struggling every day.. and that I have done everything the same since I started this.. nothing has changed..

So, of course she suggested a couple of things.. surgery was one and that is out.. I don't want surgery plus.. I cant have it due to my hernia, I told her that..
she agreed. then she said You got to drop under 1200 calories.. what? is she right? what is she saying.. she told me that they have a weight loss program and the program starts you off very low.. gets your body moving weight off.. once that happens they bring you back up.. but you have to be in the program and checked monthly.. Ok here it is.. this what I am not sure of about the program.. she wants me to take this "weight loss pill" come on it's speed we know that... I said no.. because it wont work.. she showed me some previous and present patients success with being on and being closely watched on the program.. you still have to eat right, work out not just take this pill and think you will lose weight.. once the weight starts to move off they go off of it and then learn to eat healthy I said I know how to eat healthy.. I do eat healthy..

So as I said in my response.. I am my own road block.. I get in the way of my self..

I also read this:
It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change. Charles Darwin

So I am trying a new approach.. what do I have to lose???

Thank you for reading thank you for all your support and all your comments on my rant blogs.. I truly cannot do this with out the help and support of Spark I will never give that up.. this program I am entering into is a new approach.. who knows it might work it might not.. but like I say I need to shut up and listen..





  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSG180 7/3/2014 11:47PM

    If you are working out at all, 1300 is probably slowing your metabolism. Going lower than that, a disaster. Your doctor is...not up on the current literature. Dangerously so. I urge you to up your calories to at least 1800. Try for a couple weeks and see if you can get your metabolism active again.

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LUCKYDOGFARM 7/3/2014 1:16PM

    are you going to take the pill? research it first MsAnita. I worry about people taking a pill. heck, it could just be a placebo, but still, its a pill. 1200 calories? that's not much. only 100 less that what you are at now, but it could do the trick.

KeepMovingGirlFriend!

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MAMABEAR372 7/2/2014 5:04PM

    You are very wise to look at things the way you are. Listen to your inner self and do what is right for you. You seem to be about doing things safely and that is the right approach.
There is always another way, you just have to find the right path that works for you in your journey. I do bike for the very reasons you stated and it works for me. It has become my passion. I pray it works for you as well or better than it has worked for me. I believe you will be happy with it.
emoticon Behind you all the way!

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1CRAZYDOG 7/2/2014 3:03PM

    My dear, adaptability is definitely the name of the game. Hardest thing for us humans to do because our natural tendency is to get "used to the way things are" and mentally have a little "rebellious coup" when the truth is that a change IS the way to go. So, yes, WE get in our own way.

I think you are doing a wise thing. You have listened to what the Dr. and the NP had to say. You have your own ideas too. You plan will probably ultimately be a blend. Heck, even if it ISN'T that's all right, because you are going to fashion a plan that will work for you.

You know the options that you cannot live with:

surgery

pillsR>
Honestly, in my heart, I feel the same way for me. Just wouldn't work. And that's ok! For some it does. But that's just the thing . . . have to know what will or won't work for YOU.

Now, look back to when you had success. Think about what you were doing (or weren't doing) and see what will work for you now! Maybe some of the things that originally worked will help you.

Wishing you all the success. You know that you're not the only one and definitely, got your back!

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This is a sick joke and is not even funny any more

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Matter of fact I have been crying all day long. today was the day I am scheduled to shake up my fitness and nutrition plan.. I put in my calendar a schedule of what I am going to be doing all week, Starting today was to go to the Y and swim, I have not gone swimming in about 6 or 7 months I mean real hard core lap swim tomorrows this weeks schedule has me doing that 3 times along with bike riding and walking and strength training I was excited to write this goal down and start working at it ..

About the nutrition part of it I plan on eating 3 meals a day which I always do and 2 lite snacks, keep the protein high and the carbs low.. so went shopping got lots of veggies and tuna and fish..and chicken.

So day started with me going to the Y at 8am.. I get my suit on and I am all ready to go out to the pool, "oh what's that a new scale in the woman's locker room"? ok I will bite.. I need to know where I am I know I was up since I went to Vegas two weeks ago.. but I have been doing really well, 1400 cals range each day last week along with working out. and 2 bike rides under me.. Friday was a cheat day due to husbands Birthday which we spent in Boston. had good meals all day.. only induldgement was half of his lobster claw pastry which is all cream... but we also did a ton and I mean a ton of walking.. so I get on the scale. I am up 3 more pounds... I now am 20 lbs more then where I was last year this time..

It's a joke right? really up 3lbs total weight 260 no more 240 really? that's it.. I am done I am finished I have had it what is wrong with me? there is something med-o-bolic-ly wrong with me.. something in my genic make up, something with my ... who knows. MY body will NOT lose weight.. it will not it will gain but it WILL not lose..
where can I find the answer??

Funny thing when I was at 330lbs.. I use to binge all the time.. I mean eat and eat and eat chips, ice cream.. large meals, soda McDonalds all the time.. I just ate all the time I always had a bowel of chips near me.. I did not go to the gym at all and I did weight my self from time to time and I hate to admit this but I maintained that 330 lbs for two years.. and now I just cannot get the weight off.. for one week of eating good and no cheat stuff working out drinking so much water.. not even a pound off nope 3 up..

I should be kicked off spark... I don't want to go back to binging.. but I am really headed there see I am an emotional eater this is going to seriously mess with me.. this is going to really put me over the edge which it has.. I have been crying all day, I am not beating my self up.. I am so confused and so hurt and so betrayed. betrayed by my own system..

I have no more words...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JANETRIS 7/5/2014 4:13PM

    Anita...don't give in and don't give up the fight..... emoticon Stick with one scale at the same time of day only...keep making goals and keep showing up! emoticon

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MAMABEAR372 7/2/2014 5:15PM

    I know I am reading this day's blog late but stop and look back on all the progress you HAVE made. I know it is hard to think the progress will keep happening, but it will. Tweaks may need to be made, new things found to do. Believe in yourself...I believe in you.
I know I am just a stranger who reads your thoughts, but I have felt like you in the past. I still struggle with binging too. I admire your fight and your dedication to yourself and the ways you do take care of yourself and allow yourself to feel all these feelings that will eventually fire you up to make more progress.
Like I have said before, I am beside you all the way for what it is worth. I am happy for you that you seem to want to try to do more bike. Sticking with that might be more rewarding than you can ever imagine.
Take care and patience is the hardest exercise known to any human out there. emoticon

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GOCALGAL 7/1/2014 1:58AM

    Please hang in there and Do Not give up! You have accomplished So much. Think about how much healthier you are. Maybe you could try on something from when you 1st started losing and visually see how much you have lost and know that you do not want to go back to that size ever again. Know that your Spark friends are all rooting for you! emoticon emoticon

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JLPEASE 6/30/2014 3:54PM

    You have come so far from 330! That is pretty amazing. I know how you feel, though. I have become a little lost these days and have shed some tears, but we just have to keep trying. I figure it's all a cycle and that eventually my drive will come back to me. Being active is such a big part of it, and it sounds like you've got an excellent plan for that! Even though you might not be losing weight despite all you're doing, you must be in a whole lot better physical shape than in the past!

Seriously, though, you really have come such a long way baby!
emoticon

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CAROL_31649731 6/29/2014 11:48PM

    You've come so far! Don't give up . . . that scale can be soooo frustrating, AND so wrong. Each scale is different, time of day, time of month, a lot of little things can make that number so off. Sorry it's gotten you so upset; glad you were able to vent & release your tension over it. Sending you hugs now, along with a friendly kick-in-the-butt, to keep you going. You can do this, you know you can! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TOOTERFISH 6/29/2014 11:07PM

    something will change.
you can create it.

please consider:
read GCVEGAS blogs...
stay low carb.
go moderate protein
and begin High Fat.
keep activity.
monitor water intake.



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MCJOYFUL 6/29/2014 9:44PM

    DO NOT GIVE UP! You have come so far from where you began. Nancy is right, different scales give different weights. But even if you are up 3 lbs, you are not at 330 any longer. And I would guess you don't ever want to go back there. Plus if you are up, it could be a temporary gain for some reason like holding in fluids or stress or something. My guess is when you were 330 you were not able to do all the things you can now physically. And my guess is you were feeling pretty good about all your accomplishments over the past week before you stepped on that stupid scale. Don't let a piece of metal rob your joy!

And don't leave Spark People. We are here for you and now is when you need the support the most. Hang in there, you have come so far! emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 6/29/2014 8:18PM

    ((((HUGS)))), that's all I can offer you.

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LUCKYDOGFARM 6/29/2014 7:38PM

    MsAnita, I totally agree with what Nancy told you.

You can not go from scale to scale to scale and get the same results. Especially at different times of the day with different clothes on.

I only count my weight on my home scales on Friday mornings when I wake up and wearing my birthday suit. And the scale even has to be on the same spot on the floor!

Keep going GirlFriend! You've Got This!

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MISSG180 6/29/2014 7:34PM

    I'm in the same boat--exactly the same boat. 240 last summer, 260 this summer. And my back injury is making it all that much harder.

Every study -- every. single. study -- about long term weight loss shows that it is almost impossible. Less than 5% of people who lose weight keep it off for 5 years. And this includes people who only lost 10 or 20 pounds. We are fighting a battle with very poor odds.

Our bodies actively fight weight loss, releasing hormones that increase hunger and lower our metabolism. So yes, you could eat a lot more at 330 and not gain weight. The odds are stacked against us.

However, health improvement from exercise and eating right ARE worth the effort. Women who eat right, exercise, and have healthy habits have a life span and relative health equal to their "normal" weight peers. So it's important not to give up.

I am reading Linda Bacon's Health at Every Size. I highly recommend it. And remember that health is the most important thing we are working toward.


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NANHBH 6/29/2014 6:42PM

    Anita,

It's a different scale.Every scale weighs different. Don't let it define you. Now, if you constantly use that scale and see your weight going up - that's one thing. But until you get a few weigh-ins on that scale, don't jump off the cliff. There are a lot of variables here - time of day that you weigh, hormonal changes, did you drink water on your way to work out, etc. Just keep doing what you are doing - and weigh again next week on that scale - same time of day, same clothing, same conditions as today.
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JTREMBATH 6/29/2014 6:31PM

    emoticon emoticon I think I at my lowest as it does not matter how little I eat or how much exercise I do I might go down a fraction 1 day then it will go back up the next I just cannot shake it off.

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CLARISSABOND 6/29/2014 6:25PM

    Don't beat yourself up. Just eat healthier next meal and put in more movement . You don't have to be all or nothing. Some good habits are better than no good habits.
Always remember to be on your own side. You can't be your own best friend if you are always the first in line to cut yourself down. emoticon

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LMGMILLER 6/29/2014 6:19PM

    emoticon I know your frustrated but hang in there and keep going, Our body is one of the most confusing things we will ever try to understand. A few years ago some one said to me time is going to pass anyways so you might as well be on plan. Stick to the good habits you have made. I lost 70 lbs a few years ago only to stop my good habits and gain it all back and then some. Now I'm starting at a new highest and I'm trying to build new habits I'm so scared to slack for even a day. Meals out are part of life. We all know when you eat out you lose some of the control of what your eating because you didn't prepare it You unintentionally ate more food more salt sugar and fat than you would at home. Tomorrows another day where you will have more control don't give up on your self or the system just yet and although shoving food in your face will make you feel good then and there it wont last for long and its only feeding the problem. Sometimes a good cry helps a long walk or kick boxing can do wonders for frustration too.

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LOSE4LIFE47 6/29/2014 6:04PM

    emoticon emoticon

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Along comes a Angel....

Friday, June 20, 2014

It's is funny how God puts people in front of your face when you need it and you don't even know why..

I think most of you know that I have been struggling, not so much with eating and not being on track because I have been on track eating the same amount of calories as I always have.. what I have been struggling with is the fact that the weight has stopped coming off.... no matter what I do, what I eat, how much I work out nada.. the scale does not move it may move down 2 up 1,down 2 down 1 up 2, since Christmas I gained 10 lbs and that 10 will no come off.. just so up set.. I work out but not as like I use to do due to my knee.. so there is no more cross fit or kickboxing, just walking, cycling spinning and strength work. which I do a ton of.. my cycling really is the hard core that I do walking I walk at a fast clip and only 3 miles.. I walk every day.. if not the 3 then 1 or 2.. but there is a walk..

Right before we left for vacation last week, I was down not where I was before Christmas but I was down, my clothes where feeling good, and I was feeling good, mainly because I was so excited to be going to Vegas.

So why I was in Vegas I did get fitness in you do a ton of walking there plus I did go to the hotels gym.. it was pretty cool.. I worked out for about an hour..
food yes there is food in Vegas but I made sure that anything I put on my plate was healthy.. there was one dinner that ok.. it was not your dieters dream plate but I did not eat it all, matter of fact we did not eat 3 meals a day out there.. but breakfast was a must and it was a healthy one..

Ok, yes I drank not every day.. I think it was one night of letting go, sitting there on the strip at the out side bar people watching talking with people who I just met, I can strike up a conversation with any one and if they have a British accent like this one couple I can listen to them for hours.. anyhow I would not of traded last week for anything..

Yesterday I had a dreaded doctors appt.... and of course the first think they do is weigh you, I thought ok I have been home since Saturday that is 6 days.. I detoxed with my green juice Monday and Tuesday, I drink a ton of water all week, I ate very well, I rode my bike 8 miles.. the night before.. so I should be the same.. right? no.. not Anita.. she was up 10 lbs.. ,,,.....

That's it.. I am done.. I quit, I have had it there is no help for me there is no explanation I do NOT want your diet pills Ms. Doctor.. I don't have a appetite problem that needs to be suppressed. I don't want my heart racing so thank you very much I quit..

Then I get home, I open my lap top and I go to Spark.. with out even thinking I mean I was quitting why would I turn to spark? just habit I always get on spark when I open my lap top it is the only reason I do.. besides facebook. and there it was.
I had a New mail notification which Ok I don't get spark mail all the time. so I said ok open it up what team is having a challenge.. and it was a letter from an angel.. and it read

Subject line: Inspiration

I just read your story and want to CONGRATULATE you and tell you that you inspire me. I am just beginning and look for motivation every day via SPARKPEOPLE and other sources to keep me going, I am 289 and was over 300.

I have always put others and things before my needs and am beginning to make the changes that I need to put myself 1st. It's hard because I come from the south where I was taught by example to put others 1st, but I am learning that I have to take care of myself 1st to help others.

Your story shows that this weight loss journey can be accomplished and maintained via hard work and sources like SPARKPEOPLE. Thanks for posting and encouraging others! YOU ROCK....

........................................
.........

Really? where did this person come from and she thinks I was an inspiration, heck I did not feel like an inspiration at that moment, I felt like a complete failure, I was quitting didn't she know.... Then I though what are you going to say to her? are you going to tell her that your a failure? and that you just cannot lose any more weight, and that you want to quit.. .. and then it clicked.. No don't tell her that.. tell her your story... tell her how much this letter made you appreciate what you have done and how you did it.. and that you don't want to be 330lbs again.. and if it takes 10 years to get 10 lbs off your going to fight and fight .. so I did , I let her know that this journey is a life time commitment the road may get bumpy and wild but there are people there to help you and if there is one thing I have learned is to enjoy the ride..

Today I do not feel like quitting, today I feel like fighting.. I am going to keep moving forward.. I have made a few adjustments now that the knee is feeling better I am going to up my cycling and add in swimming I am going to have a plan of action each and every day..

Thank you angel.. you where sent to me when I needed it the most..

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEATLETOT 7/1/2014 8:00PM

    I'm so happy someone shared that with you, Anita. You ARE an inspiration!!! You keep on keepin' on.

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CAROL_31649731 6/30/2014 10:36PM

    Nice blog, Anita . . . I truly believe in those God moments, too. How wonderful it is when they occur just when you need them! Your story IS very inspiring. Please continue . . . you are the opposite of a failure!!!

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JANETRIS 6/28/2014 3:24PM

    I love those God moments! How wonderful for you! emoticon

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SCARLETTHEATHER 6/25/2014 12:12PM

    Hi Anita! You really are an inspiration!

I have a suggestion that might help - have you updated your nutrition and fitness goals lately? I had hit a point where I was hitting my calorie range and exercising, but the weight was NOT COMING OFF! I was very discouraged, and then happened to stumble on the link to update my goals. It turns out that I was eating to many calories for my new weight! Once I adjusted those goals, I started losing again.

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LUCKYDOGFARM 6/21/2014 12:41AM

    What perfect timing! God is pretty darn smart like that! You are an inspiration to so many of us MsAnita. I have to admit, ive been going through some rough times with my fitness level, food and weight. its not easy and daily I have these talks with myself about regaining all of my weight and having to buy a new bigger size wardrobe. not to mention the humiliation I will feel when my friends start talking about my lack of fitness.
and every time, my SparkieSelf kicks in and says GOGetEM! its tough to figure out why our weight stalls out, but personally, I think our bodies just get so used to the daily things that we do. we have to swap up.

a few things I have changed:
I restarted my weight goal, so no more 42 pounds lost. only 2 now.
I got rid of the calories in/out business. I just count what I am eating and I don't let spark tell me how much more I can eat since I burnt xxx calories/day. I get 1200-1550/day and that's it! its hard to stick to and in the back of my head I know I have some wiggle room, but in the front of my head are my eyes and they can see the scale going down by not taking my fitness into consideration. I NEED to do this.

I hope you are able to figure out what your body needs to make the changes you desire! keep going GirlFriend! emoticon

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NANHBH 6/20/2014 11:32PM

    emoticon
That's an awesome story, Anita. I'm so glad that your angel arrived when she did. I would not want you to quit. I would miss you! You have accomplished so much. And I have faith that you will accomplish more - in God's time. Keep doing the footwork and leave the results to God.
emoticon

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BILL60 6/20/2014 5:31PM

    Great story. You just never know who will come along and inspire us to excel.

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1CRAZYDOG 6/20/2014 2:20PM

    Ok . . . I'm going to say it too . . . you are an inspiration! This road is sometimes rocky, sometimes full of detours, sometimes it's relatively smooth. But all together, it leads us to where we want to go if we navigate.

I am glad you got that message and I am glad it stopped you in your tracks. It's not easy sometimes that reality isn't like we want it to be . . .like a weight gain. BUT I have learned that it's not easy to do but revamping the plan(s), taking a cold, hard look @ my rest/exercise and nutrition to see where I can make changes.

I am not sure if right now is a very stressful time for you but it is for me. The point is that affects our weight loss too, because it affects our bodies chemical functioning. I have had to find many creative ways to handle stress!

Just know you're not alone! You're NOT a failure. You're still here, right!!!

HUGS and glad you were blessed by an Angel!

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MINDYJ1 6/20/2014 1:20PM

    Isn't Spark People wonderful? There are people on here that are in different places in their weight loss journey. The support goes a long way enabling us to be successful! I am so glad that you had someone that gave you the encouragment just when you needed it the most! emoticon emoticon

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