MUGSYCAT   5,958
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Starting yet again

Sunday, September 29, 2013

So here I sit blogging for the first time in nearly 2 months. I'm very lucky that I have not gained back any of the weight that I lost several months ago, I've just sort of held steady. However, I have been eating like a pig and eating all the wrong things. While my weight hasn't crept up, my waistline has grown. The trim waist I was working on is gone and my "gut" is creeping back. I've been working out religiously 3X a week, and I'm sure that's why I haven't gained back weight, but I sure wasn't tracking my food. And I KNOW for a FACT that tracking is what keeps me on the straight and narrow and helps me to lose weight.

It is 6 weeks until my birthday and I have committed to tracking my food for those 6 weeks. I fully intend to lose 10 pounds in that time. I know it is possible, and I am going to make it happen. You know why? Not for any altruistic reason like a healthy body, mind and spirit, no, it's because I have to get a new drivers license. Yep. I admit is. I'm shallow as Hell and that I why I want to drop those pounds. How stupid is that?????!! I want my drivers license picture to look as good as I did 10 years ago. Wow......that is pathetic?....but if it works as a reason to make it happen, who am I to judge myself?

What makes people commit? I have committed to a marriage, a car, an insurance company, a bank and a cell phone provider. Why is it so hard to commit to yourself? I don't know what it takes for others....I just know that if I can get through the next 6 weeks and track every day, I will be that much closer to being who I see in my mind's eye - That cutie smiling back at me from my 10 year old driver's license picture. Wish me luck! or maybe wish me perseverance!


On memories

Sunday, August 04, 2013

One of our neighbors died last week. She was in her 80's and had been fighting cancer for over 5 years. She was a nice lady, and I'm sorry that I won't see her walking through the neighborhood any more. She and her husband often walked with dual walking sticks to keep their balance and help them up the hilly roads. It's funny how you don't really know someone, and yet you feel a kind of absence when they are gone. Not like a painful feeling, but sort of an empty space where they used to be.
About 10 years ago i heard that the boy who grew up across the street from me had passed away. He very suddenly dropped dead at work. Turned out he had several blockages in his heart. He was only in his mid 30's when it happened. I hadn't talked to him in at least 5 years, but at our class reunion, I suddenly had a very huge hole in my heart because I never would be able to talk to him again. We used to walk to kindergarden together, and sometimes walked home together. He played hide and seek with all the neighborhood kids, and had dinner at our house. He and my brother had a fort in the back yard. As we grew up, we drifted apart, he wasn't in my "crowd" and I wasn't in his, but we always waved and said hi when we saw each other at home.
Was he a huge part of my life? No. Was he a good friend? Maybe -- I don't think I gave him the chance to be. Do I miss him now? Yes. Why do I miss him? He was part of my life -- a life that is so very short. I would have liked to talk to him about what he remembered about our growing up - I'm sure it was different than my memories. I would have told him what I remembered about his parents, and his dogs, and his cars and him. I would have told him that I valued him just for being him. For being a presence in my life. And now I can't. I can only hope that I take the opportunities that I have in my life now to tell others how much I value them. For being them, and for being a presence in my life.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

UMBILICAL 8/4/2013 5:55PM

  No man (or woman) is an island - we must care about and depend on others.

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MOTTAMAMALOU 8/4/2013 5:55PM

    Well said and so true.
There were times in my life that I was sorry that I never got to say goodbye or take time to say hello. How sad!

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Lazy toad on a log....croak, croak, croak

Sunday, July 21, 2013

How is it I missed blogging last week? Was it a busy week? Yes, always. Was it a hectic week? yes -- car died, needed a new battery, got that done, worked out, but only once, and did all the regular weekly what was it about the week that made it so off?
Ah yes, I didn't track my food. as a result I am up 1.5 pounds. Over and over again I "prove" to myself that tracking is the key to my success. So why do I not do it? Because I am inheirently lazy. Yep. There, I've said it. I'm as lazy as a toad on a log. When I got back on SP I was motivated and I did really well for about 2 1/2 months. Then vacation happened, then work picked up the pace, then my trainer went on vacation, then, then, then.
I have no more excuses. I have to plan my week's meals, then I have to pre log each day, only amending when I alter due to circumstances. I have to be firm with myself again. I am no where near my immediate goal, let alone my long term goal. I have no business going off track like this.
Now I'll be the toad in the water, swimming around like crazy, making the magic happen. No more toad on a log croaking about how much she needs a nap. Track, track, track!!!


Trying to change the loser attitude

Sunday, July 07, 2013

How can I get past the "oh, this one meal won't hurt" attitude? Out of 7 days I had 2.5 really bad meal days. I keep pushing back on myself that I can have this one cheat - after all, I've done SO well up until now. Maybe it's partly that I have been harder on myself at the beginning -- but that's how I did so well! Why can't I keep it up?

Ever since I got back from vacation I have been letting myself slip a little more each week. I know that not going away is not the answer, we all need to decompress and get away from work, home, duties, etc -- but it seems that it gave me the mental "go ahead" to be a loser. And not in the good way.

I thought that having my husband on the meal plan with me would help, but we are enablers for each other and tend to say "screw it" too many times. He has done really well so far, and has even started working out with me. I'm happy that he is doing all this, as we both need it, but we have to be stronger than the other when it comes to being just too darn tired, lazy or sick of eating "right".

I'm going to have DH help with the grocery list and help with meal plans for the week. He goes back to work starting on Thursday, and I think the only way to help him keep on track will be to plan the work and work the plan. He is a checklist kind of guy and SparkPeople has helped him to have "fun" with the tracking -- that helped him a lot - just like it did for me. I need to tap into that checklist mentality for him to help him along, and it will help me as well.
Well, here's to doing it right, one day, one meal at a time......!!


End of June/My first 5K

Sunday, June 30, 2013

So here it is the end of June. I managed to lose the weight I put on during vacation and a little bit more. Then I went and blew it big time yesterday. I ate breakfast lunch and dinner like a person who's going to the electric chair the next day. I ate over 2200 calories. Yikes!! the worst/best of it was brownie with a scoop of ice cream on top.

However, on another note, I walked my first 5K on Thursday. They had a sports and field day at work and I walked the 5K. It was 81 degrees at 8am when we started, and I certainly got some sun! but it was totally worth it. My friend encouraged me and walked with me even though she could have easily run it herself - and probably have won! She's been a great fitness mentor to me and keeps me on the straight and narrow food wise at work. Guess you can't ask for more in a friend when you need a guiding shove in the right direction!

Overall, I'm still on the losing side for June, but need to get back on the path and start figuring out how to find the time to make my sandwiches with less sodium. I've been using deli meat, but I think I'll have to cook my own chicken breasts and slice those up for lunch. I'm trying to limit my carbs and the bread I eat is the most carbs I have at one sitting, so I can't add anything else carby to my sandwich -- I'll have to look for some other options or bulk up the sandwich with more veggies to fill it up. Hmmm, veggie sandwich with low GI veggies. I'll have to give that a think today before I go to the store.
Hope your July is GREAT!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MUGSYCAT 7/2/2013 11:16PM

    Thanks BARBANNA! Yesterday's lunch was an egg casserole and today's was chicken breast -- so if I plan ahead enough, I can have leftovers for lunch, and can cut the carbs and the sodium. Going to take some time and patience.

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BARBANNA 6/30/2013 2:38PM

    July will be great, just keep up your motivation! I eat nuts and other non-meat products. There's always peanut butter! Keep up the great work and have a terrific Fourth of July celebration without the royal feast! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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