NANCYANNE55   88,594
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Selective Amnesia

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Yesterday, or more specifically last night, I went off the rails with my eating.

The problem started because I was genuinely hungry later in the evening. All I could think about was carbs. One trick I have to keep myself from eating once my daily food has been consumed is that I brush my teeth and put my retainer in. (I had braces a few years ago and am very interested in keeping my teeth strait!) I had done this, but the hunger was getting to me. So I did something I NEVER do and took the retainer out to eat a little something. Well, a little something turned into a LOT of something. Ugh.

This morning I was trying to figure out what to do with my Weight Watchers Points. In case you don't know how Weight Watchers works, you get a certain amount of points for the day based on your weight. And then you get an additional 49 "flex points" that you can add into the week as needed.

Yesterday was day 1 of my tracking week, so I had all 49 Flex Points still available to me at the end of the day. However, I know that if I subtract as many as I approximate I ate last night, that won't leave me enough for the days when I go to the gym and genuinely NEED more food. (I get ravenously hungry when I lift weights.)

I sat there and looked at my points, and thought of what I ate, and considered what I could do. I was starting to get pretty stressed.

It finally occurred to me to take a look at my "Good Health Guidelines" from yesterday. These ensure that you hit certain dietary goals each day for maximum health. And I realized that, despite thinking I'd eaten them all, I had only eaten 3 of my required 5 servings of produce.

Hmmmmm.......... Maybe if I'd of filled up on veggies I wouldn't have been so hungry. Ya think, Nance?

At that point, I realized that to expect myself to be able to try and somehow make up the calorie difference in the following 6 days was setting myself up for failure. I have a big appetite. My body needs fuel. And if it doesn't get enough I am very likely to go off the rails again. One "blow it" this week was more than enough.

So I have made a decision to have selective amnesia. The part I am forgetting? What I overate. The part I am remembering? To check my Good Health Guidelines before I allow myself to go into my Flex Points.

As for my Flex Points, I did subtract 7, since that is the average daily amount (49 Flex Points divided by 7 days in the week equals an average of 7 points per day). I am just going to proceed through the rest of the week like the overeating didn't happen.

In some ways I feel like I am starting over with my weight loss. I am re-learning things I learned before and assumed I already knew. This is really discouraging. I get impatient with myself, because I've been here before- I should have this down, right?

But then I realize that if I continue to berate myself, I am doing nothing to help myself move forward.

For me, this requires selective amnesia.

And the fact that the gal in that photo has the type of body I'd like doesn't hurt anything, either.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GETSTRONGRRR 8/19/2014 6:50PM

    Selective amnesia can be a good thing.....remember the long strategy, which is to, over time, eat less, eat better, and move more. We don't get overweight off of one meal (likewise, unfortunately, we don't lose weight just because we ate well one day).

Carbs are a my downfall. I've had to cut them out except for the most essential, which these days is pretty much just fruit. The first 2-3 weeks suck, then all of a sudden, something kicks in and the cravings disappear. I'll still down some pecan pie or chocolate cake, but only every 2-3 months. Lo and behold, when I do, I always want more. But that's OK....I can handle a sugar-laden cake & pie binge every 2-3 months

Good luck....stay strong!

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BERRY4 8/19/2014 12:24PM

    Sometimes it seems that the "monster" inside takes over and it really does feel "out of control".
I tell my young people: "The only 'stupid' is not looking at what you did and not learning from it." Mistakes are an opportunity to learn. (sometimes slowly...) emoticon

Sounds to me like you have evaluated what happened, and instead of sitting in a hole and adding dirt & water to the mix (to make a muddy mess) emoticon
you are choosing to walk differently.
Now go have a great Tuesday!

PS - LOVE the pic& statement you chose at the end!

Comment edited on: 8/19/2014 12:26:18 PM

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LEWILL1982 8/19/2014 12:01PM

    I wanna look like her too! Don't forget that when you work out, you'll get your Activity points too. Some days, I run for points!

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BHENDRICK2 8/19/2014 11:48AM


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My First Cooking Video: Blueberry Oatmeal Muffins

Monday, August 18, 2014

We learned a lot making this. We know it's long and are looking into ways to make the upcoming recipe demos shorter. Some things I learned from watching myself: I need to stop saying "um" so much, I need to keep my hands off of my face (there was a hair tickling me), and I need to smile more!

The story behind the Apron: My daughter brought this back for me from her mission trip to the Jamaican Deaf Village. It is the colors of the Jamaican flag. One of the residents in the village made it, so the purchase helped the village out.

I smile every time I wear it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAREN-IS-HERE 8/19/2014 10:34AM

    emoticon eat well! Have a nice day.

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DSJB9999 8/19/2014 1:48AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ROCKMAN6797 8/18/2014 10:28PM

Nice video!

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Trigger Foods

Monday, August 18, 2014

In the Spark Coach program, today's community challenge is to blog about how today's personal challenge went. So, once again, you all are the victims of my Spark Coaching program. emoticon

The personal challenge for today was to get tempting treats out of the house, or at least out of site. This is actually how I already live- Rarely do I have anything that would tempt me sitting out where I can see it. The only visible food in my kitchen is a big bowl of fruit on the center island.

The foods that one might consider unhealthy in our house are snacks for my teenage daughter. I can't very well expect her to have no snacks around: She's very thin and snacks keep her from being emaciated. And even those aren't too awful unhealthy as snacks go. Quite a few contain tree nuts, which I am allergic to. (I have learned to use my allergy to my advantage in this way.) And her snack foods that aren't healthy or contain tree nuts are usually things that I'm not interested in eating. (My poor daughter loves Wheat Thins but I won't buy them for her because, quite frankly, she wouldn't get many of them with me in the house.)

My trouble comes in with eating too much of the good stuff. I can turn even wholesome foods into a binge when I get stressed. Whole grain foods make great vehicles for healthy fats. Eat too many of those, and you'll gain weight. I know. I have.

I can't very well expect to keep natural unsalted peanut butter, coconut oil, low fat cheese, organic cereals, whole-grain tortillas and bread, and honey out of the house. Because I need to eat these foods for my regular meals. See, I'm not tempted just by junk: When I'm stressed out I'm tempted by carbs and fats, too.

Just in case you are wondering, I still drink water like a fish. About a gallon a day. So it's definitely not that I am dehydrated.

So here is where you come in, my very patient and wise blog readers (bless your hearts!): Do you have any suggestions for how I can manage this? Wise words? Or do I sound like a lost cause?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROCKMAN6797 8/18/2014 10:12PM

    I, too, can binge on healthy foods. I think what works best for me is to acknowledge the slip and move forward. I know this is probably the most pat answer to this issue but it works for me. I am only human and will always make "bad" moves. I guess the key is to figure out what triggered this behavior and take steps to avoid it in the future. It an evolving lifestyle that has ups and downs. Take solace that at least it is "healthy" foods and not "junk" foods.

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    I'm also a stress eater, and still binge occasionally but have managed to stay within 5 lbs of my current weight for a year, so I think I've finally got somewhat of a handle on it. Here is what I think works for me.

1. Don't let a binge turn into a multi-day thing. I can handle at most maybe two days of bad eating. One day makes me feel guilty, but two days makes me feel physically ill (lethargic, achy, bloated, congested, etc) compared to how I normally feel. It takes at least a week of healthy eating afterward for me to feel normal again. I did this last Thanksgiving and Christmas, indulging on those holidays but then returning to my routine and still maintained, which felt like miracle. Winter is normally one long seasonal binge for me because I felt like the holidays would blow my diet anyway. I'm still shocked how awesome I felt and how big a difference it made to just indulge on those two days and then jump back to normal eating.

2. Eat less carbs. I'm not on Atkins or any low carb diet plan, but I do eat less carbs than Spark People's recommended range and make up the difference with fat and protein. And I eat more carbs than a low carb diet would recommend. I find that I don't have physical cravings because of this. I still stress-eat carbs sometimes, then I get physical cravings afterward, but my normal low-ish carb meals do not give me physical cravings. And I feel I'm getting enough carbs to get me through my P90X workouts, even though it's less than recommended.

3. Don't let a binge distract you. There's two ways of reacting to a binge. What happens to most people is they drop their healthy habits. It can either happen quickly, when they just suddenly give up their diet altogether, or it can happen slowly over time, such as when someone reaches their goal and then gives up the habits that got them there. These are basically the same situation with the same outcome, just one happens slower than the other, and neither is ideal. The way people should react to a binge is the same way the Terminator reacts to...just about anything really. You just don't stop. When you have the attitude that I'm going to reach my goal and one mistake is not going to stop me...10 mistakes is not going to stop me...100 mistakes is not going to stop me... Then mistakes will no longer hold power over you. When you have the confidence that mistakes won't stop you, you'll barely notice them and they'll become barely footnotes among an overwhelming number of successes.

4. Experiment on yourself, but keep track. Do research, ask for tips and advice, try different things, but remember to go back afterward and evaluate what worked and what didn't. It's hard to remember everything that was eaten or what your activity level was several months or even years ago. I started getting off track and not feeling well last year, and one thing that helped me was to trace back my SP trackers to what was my best month of the year, and that happened to be the month I had tried low-ish carb.

Sorry for rambling--I got on a roll and had to stop myself from segwaying into a "The Matrix" movie metaphor. I should probably write a blog.

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GODZDESIGN95 8/18/2014 3:43PM

    that is hard. But as an emotional eater I have a box of crafts that I do when I am tempted. I also have a distraction list on my spark page if you want to take a look?

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AMARILYNH 8/18/2014 3:17PM

    I really don't have an answer for you other than to say what works best for me is to do my best to avoid getting over tired - that's a trigger for overeating for me. Like you I keep unhealthy foods out of the house but like you I sometimes overeat healthy food. I try to let the scale be my guide to how hard to hold myself to the fire, eating wise. If I'm 3 pounds over goal I put on my super willpower cloak and try to tough it out without overeating!

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DSJB9999 8/18/2014 2:08PM

    Oh Nancy I know how hard it is and know there are certain foods I can't have in the house! Nuttella and Peanut butter are mine. My son recently persuaded me to get nuttella and then wouldn't eat it! Luckily my friend and her family came to stay and ate lots of them. A locked box sounds like a really good idea though. Good Luck! emoticon emoticon

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BROOKLYN_BORN 8/18/2014 1:00PM

    I wish I knew the answer. I am also capable of eating enormous amount of healthy food. How about 2 pounds of red grapes? Yeah, me.
Good luck!

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CHARITYAK 8/18/2014 12:49PM

    Can you get her a locked box to keep "her" stuff in?

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3 Positive Things.......

Monday, August 11, 2014

As I mentioned in my last blog, I am currently doing the Spark Coach program (which, for the record, has been very helpful in getting my head back into a healthy place).

Anyhoo, today's challenge was to write down 3 positive things that I've done recently. I did this, thinking "This is private, so I can write down whatever I want because no one will see." What I didn't know was that the community challenge was to blog this list. Sigh.

Anyhow, again, the German in me has to follow rules. However, the mutt in me is going to be a bit rebellious and change what I share a tad. (And honestly, if this is blog content that is just too boring, I understand and you are more than welcome to stop reading. Thanks for trying!)

So here are three things I am proud of doing lately:

1.) I stuck within my Weight Watchers Points for the week, but with (pretty much) clean food choices. Weight Watchers is a good program, but they don't tend to emphasize the absolute healthiest options all the time, IMHO. (The WW products they sell at meetings are full of preservatives and chemicals.) So I've been working the program the RIGHT way for me personally. Which resulted in a loss this week.

2.) I reduced my workouts last week from four to three. Why is this good? Because my coach/trainer had suggested starting with three and I said no, I'd do four. Well, after the introductory workout I realized that my body needed a chance to adjust to them. So I swallowed my pride and did as he suggested. This, for me, was good.

3.) I went back to the "real me" and stopped procrastinating. For most of my adult life I have had the "Just get it done now" attitude. But the past couple of years I've not been so on top of things and honestly, that just gets me down. I hate having stuff to do hanging over my head. So this past week I would tell myself, just as I used to, "It will just take a minute", or "Getting this done and off of my mind will be SO worth it". I feel a LOT better when I adopt this mindset.

So there ya go. Three things that I feel good about myself for doing lately.

Is anyone still reading?...............

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMARILYNH 8/17/2014 1:45PM

    Wow - you SHOULD be proud! For me, #3 is the hardest - its one I'm constantly working on!

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MARINEMAMA 8/16/2014 7:02AM

    You are awesome!

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NISSANGIRL 8/14/2014 2:48PM

    emoticon emoticon and emoticon girl!!! Lets do this!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SIFUBEAR 8/12/2014 12:38PM

    What do you know, I read all the way through and didn't even fall asleep! ;-) I also have had trouble letting go of my "I know what's best for me" attitude and listening to someone else on how to lose my weight. I'm proud of you for letting go and listening to your coach. Well done!

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GODZDESIGN95 8/12/2014 12:06PM

    Atta girl! emoticon

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ROCKMAN6797 8/11/2014 8:25PM

    LOL emoticon

I love the honesty. Baby steps will lead to big changes (but then you already knew this!)

Keep on pushing!

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EDWARDSC393 8/11/2014 2:40PM

    Starting back at the gym. Ideas on how to begin? Glad you are on a good path. WW not for me. Good Luck!

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DSJB9999 8/11/2014 2:32PM

    emoticon . well done! emoticon

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SWEETMNTHING 8/11/2014 1:39PM

    Still reading! Great work, Nancy. I agree about WW , and I'm glad you've found a way to work that program your way. I just joined Weight Watchers on Saturday for the program and getting some in person support, but I am adopting the same philosophy of eating clean and staying away from their packaged foods and the fat-free cheese and lite whole grains they recommend as power foods.

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HDHAWK 8/11/2014 1:11PM

    Still reading! I used WW in Dec. to get the weight loss started again. I tweaked it some too. I hate things hanging over my head too! Sounds like you are making good progress!

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BERRY4 8/11/2014 12:51PM

    Yes, ma'am! Still reading! emoticon
Since we are all on this journey of life, the least we can do is encourage each other in the choices, decisions, victory's, struggles and so on!
How can we "cheer" if we don't know how things are going? So, thanks for the update and I hope the coming week brings helpful results!

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_RAMONA 8/11/2014 9:52AM

    YUP! And good job... we're in a similar place, I think. There are some things in life that kick the stuffing out of us and it takes time to even reclaim the energy and focus that bring us back to ourselves.

Here's to the way back!

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GRACED777 8/11/2014 9:51AM

    Yes, I'm still reading. I like the way you're doing the weight watchers program, and the loss is good! emoticon

You listened to your body, which caused you to follow the suggestion your coach made. Also good. You're not a mindless follower, nor too stubborn to change your mind. Kudos!!

Thirdly, you went back to a mindset that stood you in good stead in the past. That shows wisdom! Keep all this up and you'll get to your goal! God bless your day, friend!

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Planning Meals for Tomorrow.....

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

As many of you know, I changed the main section of my Spark Page to reflect the honest truth about what has been going on with me in the mental/weight gain area. In doing so, I arrived at the conclusion that I needed some help. After praying (literally) for an affordable way to get this help, I somehow tripped across information about Spark Coach, which is a paid service here on Spark People. It's largely a computer generated program, but you can also have access to an actual human via messaging if need be.

I took a look and it appears to be just what I need at this juncture: Something to give me encouragement and tips and kinda a "back to the basics" mindset, which is about all I feel I can emotionally handle right now. So I signed up for the free trial period. I am REALLY liking it so far!

Anyhow, this leads me to today's "Community Task", which is to blog about my foods for the next day. (Today's focus is on planning meals.) And so, even though this isn't a typical blog for me, I am all about embracing a program. So here you are, reading about my food for tomorrow. (And if you stop reading at this point, I completely understand!).

Tonight I am also supposed to spend 15 minutes prepping for tomorrow's food. Now, I am pretty much a stay-at-home mom at this point so prep isn't usually necessary, but in following the rules, which I am big on (I'm of German heritage, after all!) I have decided that I will do a couple of things:

1.) Put together my Brownie Batter Overnight Oatmeal. Ir will be handy tomorrow morning because I have to be at the high school at 7:10a.m. to train the marching band. Anyhow, here is the recipe:

Brownie Batter Overnight Protein Oatmeal 1 serving

Adapted from a recipe I found on the Dashing Dish Recipe, this is rich cold breakfast that you mix together the night before. You can adjust the amount of oat flour or rolled oats according to your carb level for the day. Great for those mornings when you know you will be running as soon as your feet hit the floor!

C skim milk
1 scoop chocolate UMP, or protein powder of your choice
3-6 Tbsp oat flour (for a smoother dish), or -1/2 C old fashioned rolled oats
C plain nonfat Greek yogurt
2 Tbsp to C non-caloric sweetener of choice
1 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
Pinch salt

Dump everything into a small bowl and mix together thoroughly. Cover and refrigerate overnight.
The next morning all you need is a spoon!

2.) I will take some ground turkey breast out of the deep freezer in the garage and put it in the refrigerator to thaw for turkey tacos tomorrow night.

I'm also going to be working on next month's grocery list today, and that will CERTAINLY take longer than 15 minutes!

And another thing I am going to do today, unrelated to food prep, is sign up and pay for the 6-monthSpark Coach option. I have about 20 pounds to lose (again). If I feel like I need more at the end of my 6-month period, I will renew.

Have a blessed day, and thank you to everyone who has been encouraging me in my admittance of my struggles. I have not (surprisingly) received one criticism thus far and have received lots and lots of encouragement, which has done nothing but bolster me and help hold me up in the middle of my struggles. I sincerely appreciate it!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NISSANGIRL 8/8/2014 7:20AM

    emoticon spark coach is emoticon glad u like it, we have to do what ever keeps us going! we r all in this together. Going to try the recipe, sounds sooo good! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HDHAWK 8/3/2014 4:22PM

    I'm in the same boat. I just got home from vacation and have just over a month to get at least 10 lbs. off before my son's wedding. Could I be at goal? Yes. No one's fault but my own that I won't look exactly like I want to but all I can do is give it another shot. Good luck with Spark Coach!

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GODZDESIGN95 8/1/2014 8:51PM

    Good for you! the recipe sounds yummy.

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ROCKMAN6797 8/1/2014 9:53AM

    The important thing is that you have gotten back up and moved forward.
You have got this!


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FITGIRL15 7/31/2014 11:13AM

    Keeping it real! Its the only way you can make successful changes towards moving forward and growing in the right direction! So many people stay stunted in their own denial to admit the truth, whatever that may be (gaining weight is just one of those things we like to pretend "never happened")

I'm so happy that you are finally becoming less stressed so that you can break free of the silence.... and that you are so motivated to move forward again! (Stress has an amazing power to change our behaviour!!!)

PS... I make weekly grocery lists... never heard of a monthly list. How do you even accomplish that??? Doesn't your food spoil?

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LEWILL1982 7/30/2014 3:08PM

    You can do this. Don't give up!

I gained some weight back in 2011 and 2012 and it's taken me all of last year and this year to lose about 16 of the 28 pounds I gained. What I noticed was that it was much harder to lose even just a little bit this time, compared to last time when I had far more to lose. I realized it was my attitude. I was resentful that I was having to do this "again". Once I got myself in a better headspace, almost like getting back to basics, I found it was much easier, even if it was a slow process. I still want to lose 5 lbs, but I stopped stressing over it so much, focusing on my clothes and my attitude, not so much the scale (though I still weigh in about 3 times a week).

I'm going to try your oats recipe, I have all the stuff at home to do it, yum!

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RUDITUDI2000 7/30/2014 2:14PM

    I can relate to needing help. Thanks for sharing your meal planning for tomorrow. Very cool that you are liking the Spark Coaching you are trying out. That sounds helpful to keep on task and not overwhelm oneself going totally overboard. Back to the basics is a great place to start. Once things are rolling along smoothly you can continue to add in other things to shake it up. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JAVAJOEJO 7/30/2014 1:25PM

I want to thank you for your Blog. I find it inspiring to read and keep up with your thoughts and directions with our common goals here on this site. After more less retiring a couple years ago I thought I would have lots of time to do this work we are up to here and have time to share like your doing. Well, it's a big deal to just make time to log on and read my favorite posts like yours.

I promised myself if I'm going to take time to read a blog then it deserves a comment back. I want to thank you for your review of the "coach" option. I was wondering how that was structured and what others think of it.

Nancy you know what I think? I think many of us Spark folks have a lot more in common than the goals of this site. I for one live alone and don't have a walking or exercise partner that I used on a regular basis. I am searching for one though. Do you find that it helps to have a routine with an exercise partner? Would you suggest it?

I want to also thank you for your records of your diet and shopping habits. This informs and inspires me to stay conscious of what I'm eating and the importance of a routine here. I have been toying with a Paleo lifestyle and diet. As soon as I have a kitchen I will go at this more aggressively
Best wishes and thanks again for your blogs and especially your inspiration Nancy

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IRP1114 7/30/2014 12:52PM

    A blog very worth posting! Too funny I took out some organic ground turkey last night for turkey tacos tonight lol!
Mmm that oatmeal recipe sounds very worth trying! I have a unsweetened chocolate flavored protein powder that I haven't used much. Was actually thinking of pulling out an old recipe for protein cookies to make. Maybe I will try your recipe first!
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Have fun training the marching band! emoticon emoticon
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