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Being nice was REALLY HARD today

Thursday, April 10, 2014

My day started with a positive note. My son Ed decided to get his blood work done for his doctor's appt. next week and was told the results of his culture came back and he had a staph infection but NOT NOT NOT MRSA. Then we went to his pain clinic appt. - turns out they only did an evaluation and he has to go back on Tuesday for yet another evaluation by another doctor - I was REALLY annoyed but not overly surprised about it.

We then went shopping and I found TWO beautiful bathing suits in my size and for ONLY $12.99 each. One is a deep pink that is almost red and the other identical design in black. They are a bit shapeless but have a really modest neckline (I do a LOT of moving in the water and the GIRLS don't always want to stay where they belong if the suit is not cut right), and the trim is a series of brass eyelets and a cord running through across the top. I couldn't afford them but I also have not seen anything in that price range in the past couple of years - lowest cost tends to be closer to $35 and the ones I like tend to be in the $85-100 price range.

Then we went for Chinese food and then to my PT appointment.

THIS is where my day got REALLY HARD to be nice. I walked into the office and the receptionist said, "why are you here, you don't have an appointment." I corrected her and showed her the card that said I DID TOO have an appointment. She then told me that the PT had dismissed me on Monday. I looked at her like she had two heads and I said, that it was strange because the last words my PT and I said to each other on Monday were - PT - "Keep doing the exercises at home." ME - "I do them regularly and I will see you on Thursday, whoops, actually it will probably be your assistant then." PT - "okay see you later." Receptionist said, well you did your exit interview, didn't you - NO, well he gave you the t-shirt that says you completed your PT, didn't you - NO, well, he gave the discount certificate for 20% off the fitness center membership for the next 2 months - NO. The receptionist was very nice and she gave me the t-shirt and the certificate and 2 guest passes for the fitness center and apologized profusely. I said I didn't blame her, but I thought it extremely strange that I was not only given any of those things before AND WAS NEVER TOLD I WAS DISMISSED - AND that I wanted to speak to the PT myself. He came out to talk to me and he kept implying that somehow it was MY misunderstanding. It was NOT, it was HIS entirely and his apologies sounded more like blaming ME. I got even angrier and I asked him about the PROTOCOLS that are in place that would have prevented this type of "misunderstanding". He said he tried to follow protocols = I countered with asking which protocols he had followed. First of all, he should have told me at least a week in advance that he thought that I had improved as much as I am likely to be helped with PT and that it may take a long time to heal completely but that PT was no longer indicated. Secondly, he should have told me on Monday that it was my last session. Thirdly, he should have had me complete the "exit interview". Fourth, he should have given me the certificate of completion with the 20% discount on my fitness center membership. Finally, he should have given me my t-shirt. I pointed out that IF he had followed ANY ONE of those protocols, the situation would not have happened and that frankly, I found it offensive that he kept saying "I thought we were both on the same page" and implying that somehow I misunderstood something. It was NOT my error. It was NOT MY misunderstanding. It was entirely 100% his lack of professionalism and failure to follow procedures correctly. He offered to continue therapy but didn't see that it would help much more. I am okay with that IF he had explained it. Frankly, I don't want to keep going to appointments that I do not need and that will not help. I was and still am angry about the situation and haven't decided if I am going to file a complaint or not.

After that, I went to the pool and worked off some steam. I am tired and feel like I have been through the wringer and yet it could have been a really nice day. It must have been the day for disappointing doctors - my friend came to the pool and HER doctor's appointment was canceled without any notice and so was the appointment of one of my students for a procedure that has been scheduled and rescheduled about 10 times in the past several months.

Anyhow, be blessed, being kind and considerate does NOT mean you cannot stand up for yourself or what is right when you have been treated badly. It did mean, I had to remain civil and not swear or scream at him, despite really losing my cool and being IRATE. Be blessed and bless others with kindness and understanding even when they have really messed up. Bless them with your time, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, and then share your joy and love and peace with them.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NHES220 4/11/2014 12:53PM

    Wow, how frustrating. You would expect better from a professional. I hope you put all that steam into a great workout! But great buy on the new swimsuits!

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FINNLANA 4/11/2014 2:29AM

    Wow, you really did have alot to be upset about. Good for you to keep your cool and stand your ground! I also think you should let the supervisor know how you were treated. I had to deal with a difficult person in my workplace this morning and I had to really try to remain professional and not let their rudeness affect me. I did vent about it to my hubby later though! emoticon

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GODS_TEMPLE 4/11/2014 2:24AM

    Hoping for a much better day tomorrow...all around...and a FANTASTIC weekend!

PS I guess I should have said TODAY since it's already Friday!

Comment edited on: 4/11/2014 2:25:27 AM

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NOWYOUDIDIT 4/11/2014 2:08AM

    WOW! I would have been frustrated too! emoticon

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COLLEENROSTE 4/10/2014 10:34PM

    Sorry your day was fraught with frustration. I would phone the PT center supervisor, explain that you were not given the opportunity to complete the "exit " form and ask if they could email one out to you. Complete at your leisure - soon, but not while you are angry - then return it to the attention of the facility supervisor. These days, people who are working hard in rehab are pretty clear about the goals and expectations of treatment. You wouldn't have "misunderstood" a phrase like see you on Thursday. You are right to put responsibility where it belongs. Overworked. Over tired. Overlooked protocol. Just excuses for dropping t h e ball.

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PATRICIAAK 4/10/2014 10:20PM

    I would communicate this to his supervisor with an explanation that you don't want this to happen to others AND that the behavior of an employee reflects on the entire business.

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SEATTLE58 4/10/2014 10:05PM

    I agree with you wholeheartedly. Where's the ole' rule where the customer is always right? His actions were completely out of line. And it's so true that we want to be kind and all, but there is a time to stand up for our rights. You gave him something to think about anyway. I bet that it's not all lost! emoticon

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LADYIRISH317 4/10/2014 9:40PM

    I'm angry just reading this! Your PT's behavior was insensitive and totally unprofessional. You're probably better off without his so-called "services." I would ask your doctor to recommend a new one ASAP.

Sending you a big cool-down (((((hug))))).

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Midweek ramblings

Wednesday, April 09, 2014

I woke up this morning and had a little extra time. I decided to get on and respond to messages, meditate, eat a wonderfully healthy breakfast and start my day with joy and peace. I wish everyone had such luxury. I don't have many luxuries but the ability to take a few minutes to start my day without being rushed or harried.

My sister called last night and we had a nice chat. I got to the pool and had a good workout. I also had the luxury of reading a while before heading to bed last night. School went well. I am also on the downward side of my college classes and hopefully will finish them by the middle of next week.

I read in the paper a pretty horrific tale that could directly impact MY life but DID definitely impact the life of a former student of mine. I continue to be appalled by what I read. It talked about the lawsuit filed in the student's name - the allegations are so horrifying I can't even believe them. If they are true, there is a good chance the facility might never reopen and I might be facing a MAJOR job change at a time in my life when I don't really want to face that. Prayers for MR - a student who was helpless and seriously challenged and who was apparently abused by people who were suppose to care for him. I am still reeling.

Prayers and blessings on each and every one of you - be blessed and bless those around you with gentleness, kindness, and love.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NOWYOUDIDIT 4/10/2014 5:51AM

    Oh how sad. Praying emoticon

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GODS_TEMPLE 4/10/2014 4:22AM

    emoticon for M R, and all who will be affected.

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PATRICIAAK 4/9/2014 9:38PM

    praying

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NHES220 4/9/2014 12:19PM

    What a shame, my thoughts and prayers are with the student and with you for your job situation. So glad you had a little time to yourself this morning - a nice luxury!
Noreen


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JESS0107 4/9/2014 10:00AM

    My thoughts and prayers are for that student and with you as well!!

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1HAPPYSPIRIT 4/9/2014 10:00AM

    Sounds like you made it a productive day!

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SWEETNEEY 4/9/2014 6:54AM

    Nice to have pockets of quiet time and to use them like you want to.

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So, what are you going to do about THAT??

Sunday, April 06, 2014

I woke up this morning and didn't want to get up. I didn't want to go to church, or to the pool, or even to get out of bed. I didn't want to write this blog, I just wanted to curl up under the covers and hide, crying into my pillow. I KNOW, I KNOW, it has been 7.5 years since my son Michael left this Earth and went to his heavenly home. I KNOW that is a long time ago. I KNOW that he is in a better place, BUT . . . This year it just hit me particularly hard. Maybe it has to do with Helen's death and the continued mourning from that. Maybe it has to do with the changes that are occurring in my life right now, I don't know WHY but I definitely know WHAT has hit me so hard.

My son Ed has an appointment this week with a pain specialist and I will go with him. I didn't plan to but he told me that they recommend a driver going along in case the medications cause drowsiness or a reaction or whatever. That too has had me just a bit on edge. I know HE has been on edge too, both because of his pain and worry about his own health and the mourning over Helen's death (they were VERY close and he was the last person she spoke to before she died), but we have both discovered that even when we don't consciously think about it, Michael's birthday and the anniversary of his death cause our bodies to respond in certain ways - increasing pain, unexplained aches, a feeling of sadness, and then we look at the calendar are realize that our bodies have memories and feel pain without our minds even being engaged.

To answer my own question, I am going to treat myself extra kindly. I am going to rest, read, and connect with some loved ones and then go to bed early and awaken to a new day tomorrow and move on. If the sadness lingers or depression seems to set in, I will see a doctor but if not, I will gently and kindly treat myself with kid gloves and surround myself with love and kindness.

Everyone be blessed. Be the kind of blessing that others need - you don't have to throw money at their problems, just smile, listen a bit, and maybe take the time to let them know that someone cares. You are all such special and wonderful people, you probably do this without even thinking about it. Today THINK about it and recognize how special it is when you do this. YOU make a difference in my life and in the lives of so many others on a daily basis. No, you may not be perfect, you may not always do the right thing, but you are always trying to do better and to make this world a better place for us all. THANK YOU

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUSIETIG 4/14/2014 1:06PM

    Well this response is ten days late, but I suffer from pain& see a pain management and I will say it effects your whole life and your family also. Iam sorry to hear that about your son. And all that you have been going threw.

I have recently been remembering God does not give us more than we can handle.
So he must think His children are pretty tough. ( with His guidance).

I think you handled your blah-day good. Sleep in if you want& can. Cry, talk to a good friend!
I have more people in Heaven than on earth. So I can relate.
I just ask God to handle it and He does!
I think writing the blog helps me. Especially when others reply & I know I am not alone.
I really related to your blog, Thanks for sharing even in your hardest hours!
Have a Happy Easter. Will send up prayers for you & your son!
Blessings ^ j^
P.S. We need a prayer request group.


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FINNLANA 4/11/2014 2:33AM

    emoticon

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CHERIJ16 4/8/2014 10:54PM

    Nancy, I'm sorry for your pain. There is no closure and there is no time limit on grief. We all deal with it in our own way. My dad died 30 years ago at the age of 57 and I still miss him. I lost 2 babies and they are still in my heart. All we can really do is acknowledge our grief and be thankful for the time we had with our loved ones. Eventually we move through it and get on with life again until the next birthday or special event.

I hope the days ahead will be better for you. emoticon

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IOWAGRAMMA 4/8/2014 5:40PM

    ((Hugs)) Nancy, hoping you are having better days and that the memories are a bit of comfort to you. Sometimes it is the memories that hurt the most, though. I know that very well. You are doing exactly what you need to do to cope with this. I wish the term "closure" in reference to the loss of someone important would go away...there is no such thing as closure. The best we can do is cope and continue to put one foot in front of the other and thrive in our own way, knowing that there are better days ahead for us and we will some day be re-united. Wishing you all the best! Jeannie

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JILL313 4/8/2014 1:04AM

    Hi Nancy, like someone already mentioned you will always remember your dear son and the pain will lessen but the sadness will be there whenever you're reminded of your dear son, Michael. There is no timeline when it comes to very painful looses such as your son and then Helen's recently. I think the fact that you're still grieving over Helen makes your loved ones loss(es) even harder to bear this year. Both you and Ed have every right to still be grieving and crying does help me release some pent up emotions and sadness, etc.. I hope today was a much better day for you and Ed. Our body does respond usually negatively when we're feeling down and out. . .I'll be praying for both of you. . .Hang in there my dear friend. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DJ4HEALTH 4/8/2014 1:00AM

    Nancy I have two children in heaven and a husband that passed in Feb 2013 and just buried my sister-in-law this passed weekend. I do know what you are going through because I did the same thing as you. My body knew and I ended up crying all day for the next couple of days. It is hard even when we know where they are and that they are in the presents of the Lord. We still miss them. emoticon emoticon

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LIVINGLOVINLIFE 4/7/2014 11:34AM

    Hugs to you and pray that you find comfort in your memories of your Michael. I don't think we ever get over love of a family member or special friend. We miss them daily. W continue with our life, have our sad times and our peaceful times. Take this time remembering the good times, the funny times when he made you laugh and when he did something that made you so proud you glowed. He was your baby and now he has gone on and you have to live life to the fullest for him. emoticon emoticon

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PATRICIAAK 4/7/2014 10:33AM

    I agree with your choice on how to deal with today and your losses

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TERI-RIFIC 4/7/2014 10:17AM

    emoticon emoticon

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FIT4MEIN2013 4/7/2014 9:26AM

    {{{Nancy}}}

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NOWYOUDIDIT 4/7/2014 6:22AM

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. I have 3 girls in Heaven. One in '89, '04 and '10. I miss them every day.
emoticon

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GODS_TEMPLE 4/6/2014 11:12PM

    emoticon

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HDHAWK 4/6/2014 9:56PM

    Nancy, there's no time limit on grief. You have every right to be sad over the loss of your son no matter how long it's been. emoticon

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NEWVINE 4/6/2014 7:21PM

   
Sending Prayers your way. emoticon

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JOMAMA 4/6/2014 6:38PM

    I am so very sorry for the loss and pain that you are feeling. Sending prayers your way... emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/6/2014 6:38:38 PM

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RAYLINSTEPHENS 4/6/2014 6:28PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CRAFTSFAN1 4/6/2014 5:38PM

    NANCYPAT, there are no words that help to lessen your pain for the loss of so dear people in your life. It hurts so deep to loose your loved ones. But in a way, you were so blessed to have had wonderful people in your life.
My prays and hearth are with you during this hard time of mourning.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHIPOMP1 4/6/2014 5:02PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SALAM4545 4/6/2014 3:48PM

    emoticon

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SEATTLE58 4/6/2014 3:33PM

    Hugs to you for feeling down and I think that you're so wise to give yourself some good old-fashioned "Me" time. It's some good-needed therapy and I hope that you have a beautiful rest of the week-end and all of this coming week too. You deserve it especially with all you do for others, just here on SP alone, is alot. Thank you for it too. emoticon emoticon

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RAPUNZEL53 4/6/2014 3:23PM

  emoticon

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April Fools are not the only ones who make foolish choices

Tuesday, April 01, 2014

Sometimes we all make fools of ourselves - ironically, those who think they don't are the very ones who are most likely to be doing so on a regular basis. Sometimes my foolishness is to ignore the things I know and allow my mind and body to slink into a corner to curl up and pretend to die. Dying doesn't come that easy, I mean as an escape from troubles, challenges, difficult decisions, or even just plain weariness. Death just isn't a REAL answer to any of those challenges or hassles. Curling up and pretending we are going to escape that easily is a sure way to guarantee that we will soon be facing even BIGGER challenges, decisions, and troubles. I am not really talking about a LITERAL death or a suicidal threat or wish, just that foolish thought that if we could just somehow find a way to escape from ourselves, our challenges, and our troubles. I have found myself getting caught in the trap of just wishing away time because I don't want to HAVE to make a choice, or to face a challenge. What a completely foolish and wasteful use of my time and energy. Typically this attitude can last a short time or can sometimes drag on and one as my successes and health gains start slowly at first and then faster and faster to snowball out of control and in the wrong direction. I am not being morbid but rather am reminding myself that I DO have control over my attitude, even if not over the challenges, troubles, and hassles in my life. I have a choice about how I respond. I have a choice about whether I look at my glass as half full or half empty. I have a lot of choices and one of the biggest choices I have is whether I will make like harder on myself or easier.

EVERYONE KNOWS that D I E T I N G and weight loss are HARD, but do they HAVE to be? I don't think they do. Some of my greatest successes with weight loss have happened almost by accident. I mean they were EASY, because instead of being deprived, being critical, being dissatisfied with my NOW, I simply made a few healthy choices and soon found myself not even wanting so many "trusty old favorites". The junk food simply lost its appeal. The exercise that I never liked, suddenly became PLAY and fun and social and joyful. Food became an adventure and I traveled to new places. I persuaded my precious son Ed to explore healthy foods WITH me. We started trying new things, changing how we cooked, thought about foods and learned new ways to soothe ourselves without food sedation.

There are so many ways of being foolish about our choices and so maybe for April Fools Day, I will commit to not being an April (or any other month) Fool. I will calm myself, meditate instead of medicate and allow myself to live in the present so that the future when it comes will be less scary for me. I will be healthy, fit, more attractive, and filled with love and joy instead of foolishness.

Be blessed by the generous gifts of love that have been given to you. Bless others by sharing in their joy, weeping with them in their sorrow, and dancing in delight as we welcome SPRING to bring her showers, flowers, and hours of sunshine and daylight.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DJ4HEALTH 4/6/2014 12:10AM

    emoticon

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CHERIJ16 4/3/2014 9:51AM

    emoticon Thank you!

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ANAMORPHOSIS 4/3/2014 6:59AM

    You have great insight!
emoticon

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SYDLETZIII 4/2/2014 11:50PM

    Okay since I am an April 1 child I will explain the story. Ancient Greece before they create the Greek Gods, They believed that the Months where the Gods and each had a chore in Nature to complete. March did not tend to his chores well and asked April for a day to complete his task and April agreed. But on April 1, April changed his mind and March became April's fool.
Hope April is a blessed month for you. emoticon


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KAYLSLYNN 4/2/2014 7:13PM

    emoticon emoticon

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GODS_TEMPLE 4/2/2014 1:22AM

    It's hard to run away from ourselves...and we are the ones responsible for making the choices in our lives.

So, like you said...lats stop being the fools! emoticon

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JILL313 4/2/2014 1:12AM

    Hi Nancy, I get a mixed message from you, here. . .at first it sounds like you're depressed and want to curl up and die. . .but then you seem to be on top of your game. I liked reading your blog but honestly wasn't quite sure what your true message was. . .I truly care about you and Ed and I want you both to be happy and well. None of us know what the future has in store for us and I choose to accept that and live in the present time. I do find myself worrying about what's going to happen to both my sons who still live at home with me after I'm gone. Brent probably would have to live in a group home but Adam my youngest has no resources and God Forbid he might be on the street unless someone takes him in. Just that thought while writing this makes me feel more stressed just thinking about the what will happen. emoticon emoticon emoticon . . .So, I guess I do know what you're talking about. I'm very tired and will be heading to bed very soon. Take care and let me know if there is anyway I can help.

Love You,

Jill

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IMLOCOLINDA 4/2/2014 12:17AM

    emoticon I know it seems easier to me to just make the healthy choices about food and getting my shoes on and getting out there than it used to. Once I quit with the excuses and decided what I really wanted...somehow I just went for it.

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PATRICIAAK 4/1/2014 11:38PM

    good points

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Saturdays and Springtime

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Spring is here according to the calendar and the weather is warmer although it is a gray day with rain and clouds. Springtime is also about a feeling that the sap is running through my veins and through my muscles. I can feel a sense of hope starting to spring up like a well within me.

Today, I have already completed my college classwork for the day and am starting to get moving slowly.

I have been listening to a really interesting message on weight loss and health. I am finding the words affirming and have learned some things, been reminded of other things, and most importantly discarded some things that I thought I knew. I am working to process it all. It has been really eye-opening.

Everyone be blessed and have a wonderful and truly awesome day today and the rest of the weekend. Bless others by the gift of your time, your forgiveness, or your affirmation of their value. Give yourself the same blessing as you move through your life over the weekend. Be blessed and bless others and know that the gift of listening is an incredibly precious gift to give. Listen to yourself, listen to those you love, and even listen to those who you don't know YET but may come to know.

May your day be filled with hope, joy, love and kindness gifted to you by others and yourself.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SYDLETZIII 3/30/2014 1:10AM

    emoticon

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DIANEDOESSMILES 3/30/2014 12:29AM

    Ahhh YES !! We can HOPE for SPRING !! it was warmer FINALLY TODAY !! in the low 50s INSTEAD OF in the 20s or 30s !!! ABOUT TIME !! Still though they SAID the SUN would SHINE,,, IT ONLY did for about 2 hrs,,, it's soo TYPICAL that as I put on my pants,,,,, CLOUDS REAPPERED AS THEY ALWAYS DO !

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NOWYOUDIDIT 3/29/2014 10:26PM

    emoticon

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PATRICIAAK 3/29/2014 9:59PM

    May you be blessed abundantly

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ZANYGIRL1 3/29/2014 8:36PM

    And to you also!!!! emoticon

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CHERIJ16 3/29/2014 7:59PM

    emoticon Happy Spring.

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STEVEN2GO2 3/29/2014 3:50PM

    May your weekend be Blessed and have a Spring in the steps you take on your continuing journey!

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