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The Ultimate Roller Coaster Ride...

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

I think this picture is a perfect example of what my weight loss journey has been like (& many others that I know of as well)... an unending roller coaster filled w/ ups & downs, twists & turns, loops that toss your world upside down & inside out, and just when you think you might hit a plateau, here comes the next "bump in the road"!

I say "unending" because I have literally been fighting this "battle of the bulge" my entire adult life (and even a couple of my teen years as well)! I know that I'm not alone... and for this I am thankful, because it makes me feel like less of a loser (in the bad sense) because I haven't figured out how to be a successful "loser" (in the good sense). But then again, I wouldn't wish this type of struggle on even my worst enemies... okay, maybe that is a little white lie... remember that skinny little thing from high school who thought she was all that, made the "fat" girl's life a living hell, and could eat anything she wanted while still looking like a pixie stick in her clothes? It might give me a little private joy to see her struggle just once w/ the ongoing battle I've had for 25+ years. (I apologize if that offended anyone... just me bein "real")

I know that I have no one to blame for the weight that I carry but myself. My issues began while I was still in high school, and I believe were partially brought on because I turned to food as a comfort when my home life was not the best. But I don't blame my parents... because they weren't the ones buying the fast food and/or snacks from the convenience store & stuffing it in my face. That was all me! Sure I'm glad that I turned to food rather than other bad vices (i.e. alcohol, drugs, etc)... but I was still the one who made that choice.

I crossed the 200 lb. mark at my initial doctor's appointment for my first pregnancy. Can't blame being pregnant for the weigh gain... after all, 65 lbs. is not a "normal" amount of weight to gain during a pregnancy. I was the one who decided from day 1, that after several years of being on a perpetual diet, I finally had an excuse to eat whatever I wanted... after all, I was eating for two now, right? And I don't think I can get by w/ saying that I haven't lost the "baby weight" yet... my son will turn 25 this year, so I'm pretty sure I lost that excuse many years ago.

I've been thru multiple surgeries over the course of my lifetime (literally 19 surgeries since 1989) and each one came w/ their own recovery period, and new effects on my body, which in turn affected my ability to lose weight and/or caused me to gain weight. But I'm not the only one to have health issues in their life, and not everyone who does allows themselves to balloon up to almost 300 lbs. because of it.

And unlike many of my friends, who turn to stress eating when life throws "bumps" into their road, I seem to be the opposite... when I get stressed (like during my 2 divorces), I actually lost weight! However, on the flipside, when I am happy, I tend to gain weight... and gosh darn it, wouldn't you know that 3rd time would be a charm for me, and I have found a man who has made me extremely happy over the past 10+ years! Yep... EXTREMELY happy... back over 275 lbs. worth of happiness... that much happiness can't be good for anyone!

Don't get me wrong... I have been successful at various points in my weight loss journey... even making it into the much-desired "ONEderland" briefly back in 2010 after I joined Sparkpeople back in 2008. However, in true roller coaster fashion, I let a major surgery be the next "reason" that my weight piled back on, continuing to do so until I regained almost everything that I lost over those 2 yrs. I honestly think that I have probably lost & regained the same 50-some pounds at least 5 if not 10 times over the course of my weight loss journey. Just imagine what I would look like, feel like, be capable of, if I could've eliminated the "regain" part, and just done the "losing" part. (I'd probably be one of those skinny things I complained about in the beginning of this blog... LoL)

So... I've wrote all this down, and shared it with all of you... now what is the reason for all of this???

To make a statement: that as much as I love "thrill rides" in the amusement parks, I am tired of this particular roller coaster ride... so it is time to get off of it once and for all! As I said, I have been successful before, so obviously I know what works for my body... now I just need to do it. No more procrastinating... no more road blocks... no more excuses! And I wanted to share this blog to put it out there for all of you to read & hold me accountable. One of the major contributors to my weight loss success in the past has been the motivation I get from all of my Sparkfriends, as well as their support & encouragement.

For those of you who took the time to read my long-winded blog, I THANK YOU! I felt that in order to be successful this time, I needed to share this if for no other reason than to make myself accountable to the "excuses" that I have used in the past. If my "story" helps anyone else that happens to read it, then that's an added bonus!

It is now time to exit the ride...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNSHINE5268 9/2/2014 12:18AM

    Fantastic blog! wow!

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MUMMY22BOYS 8/20/2014 1:30AM

    Wow I could have written this myself. Between multiple surgeries, quitting smoking twice over the past few years and life's general stress I hit my highest weight ever. I want to make this fall the best. Come summer I want to be proud enough of my body to wear shorts in public!! Let's do this together :)

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KKLIONESS013 8/13/2014 1:06PM

    THANK YOU for sharing your journey with us! It sounds like we have been on similar rides...I agree--it's time to get off this ride, and get back in the normal sized seat version that exists only at theme parks! emoticon

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ARMATTHAEI 8/13/2014 9:53AM

    Thanks for sharing this. I am hoping that it helped others realize that they are not alone in this roller coater ride that is a life long process. I have heard that those with eating disorders like bulemia and anorexia face daily challenges with their diseases whenever they chose to eat or not eat. We emotional eaters are the same. I say we here because some people eat when they are happy, as you mentioned; others eat when they are stressed, sad, angry, etc.

Hope that you continue with SP and look forward to supporting you on your journey.

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    I am on the rollercoaster with you. I am a stress eater and a happy celebrating. I love your blog.

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TWESTEN1 8/12/2014 11:53AM

    Woohoo - sounds like you are ready to get back on the "losing" train! I had to laugh as I also hit the 200 when I was pregnant with my first - I remember being absolutely mortified. Let me tell you how I felt 16 years later, last September when I stepped on the scale and saw 295. Yup - it hurts!!!

I am glad that you've got yourself an awesome man & it sounds like he makes you happy, which is wonderful. And you've lost the weight before so obviously you can do it again! You've got this... and we've got your back :)

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STILLMENEWBODY 8/12/2014 10:13AM

    Thank you for giving us a little background information about your journey. 19, I am sorry to hear that and hope that whatever they were helped improve your life.
What I really like about your blog is that you are being accountable, You are admitting that YOU are responsible for your eating habits. It doesn't matter what others have said or done that may have affected us in a negative way. WE STILL are the ones responsible for how we dealt with that.
I recently wrote a blog about some things that had affected me and that I ate myself back up to 50+ pounds. What I did not say or acknowledge is....I was responsible for the choices I made. At least I don't think I!
I am happy for you that you have found the man you want to share your world with. I also understand the roller coaster that so many of us have been on. I am surprised we have never crossed paths lol!
I don't know you but honestly....when I look at your photo and read your posts all I feel is positive energy. YOU DEFINITELY HAVE HOPE! You can do look the look, we talk the talk now let's enjoy the walk to great health and happiness!
HIGH FIVE for your openness today! emoticon

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TROOPER1961 8/12/2014 9:55AM

    Great blog! I think alot of us are on this roller coaster ride and for a very long time. It is time to find a new ride so I will commit with you. Lets make fall the best ever!! emoticon

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GRLTAZ 8/12/2014 9:43AM

    Wow ! Now that is a roller coaster ride. Sounds like you have made up your mind, now just do it ! :) We all know you can do this and do it for the rest of your life because you are worth it !

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LWILKINS60 8/12/2014 7:02AM

    Great blog post! You can do it!

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GHOSTFLAMES 8/12/2014 5:28AM

    emoticon emoticon

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TJOHNOCONNOR 8/12/2014 5:20AM

    I enjoyed the read very much. Success is not an unobstructed linear line that is traveled. It is a bunch of squiggly lines that go on and off of the desired path we seek. It has been said that one cannot learn anything from another person, if they are in total agreement with them on everything. So I guess it would be safe to assume that you cant learn anything from life, if we don't stumble from time to time. I hope all the best for you. emoticon

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RAPUNZEL53 8/12/2014 5:11AM

  Good Luck!

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Squat & Push-up Challenge...

Monday, March 03, 2014

I have had several people ask about the Squat & Push-up Challenge that I did in February, so here it is...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOON2BCOURTNEY 3/6/2014 11:24PM

    Thanks for sharing. I am nursing a sore wrist after a nasty fall on the ice but I can at least do the squats.

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IMGLAMRUS 3/6/2014 9:04AM


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BSTMAMAS 3/4/2014 12:02PM

    I'd love to try this but my left knee gives me lots of trouble. Good luck to you!!

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AVONWITHJENN 3/4/2014 12:50AM

    Thank you for sharing!

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DEANNATN 3/3/2014 11:01PM

    Thanks for sharing!! I started a squat challenge the 1st. Was wanting to add something else the pushups would be good

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Attention: Nascar Fans...

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Hey there ya'll... a new season is upon us...

Once again this year, we've got a "Pick Five" game going for the Nascar season. We'd love to have some new people join in on the fun... the more, the merrier!

It's really simple... basically each week, you pick your 5 top drivers (or fav, your choice) and then you receive the same points that your drivers do.

This is year #5 for this game and it is a blast for all involved... hope to see some new fans join in this year!

Here is the link:

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLIMMERSUSAN10 2/20/2014 9:19PM

    We did something like that when I worked at Sprint. We had 3 sections of drivers (Good/Okay/Who?) and could pick 2 from each section. I never seemed to win but it was fun!

My boyfriend is a HUGE #24 fan (as was my Dad before he passed away 10 years ago)! I think Dad had about 5 or 6 Jeff cars. It's fun to look back and remember when he got them.

Ready for another great season!

Susan (A fellow Kansan!)

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NASCAR_CHICK 2/14/2014 1:08AM

    Lee Ann - I kinda thought the same thing when I first joined the game... but I'll tell ya, it makes things a lot more interesting! LoL

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WALNUTT1961 2/12/2014 10:01PM

    Okay, I joined! You gals are tough - picks before qualifying? I'm in!!

Thanks for the invite! I'll do my best! emoticon

Lee Ann

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RUFFIT 2/11/2014 10:05AM

    Good for you!! Have fun!!!

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ZRIE014 2/11/2014 12:18AM


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Biggest Loser Winter Challenge: Special Challenge for Week #8

Wednesday, February 05, 2014

So this week's special challenge is to blog about my goals & action plan, so here goes...

I have my short-term goals broken down into 5% weight loss goals. So far I've reached 15%, and by the time I reach my "ultimate" goal, I will reach 45%. I also have a couple of "milestone" goals thrown in for good measure. So my upcoming short-term goals are as follows:

20% Loss (218 lbs)
25% Loss (204 lbs)
"ONE"derland (199 lbs)
30% Loss (190 lbs)
No longer "Obese" (185 lbs)
35% Loss (177 lbs)
40% Loss (164 lbs)
No longer "Overweight" (154 lbs)
45% Loss (150 lbs)

Initial goal is to reach 175 lbs... and then maintain this for at least 6 months

Once I know that I can maintain this weight, then I would like to work towards 150 lbs

*** I do plan to start the process for a panullectomy, which is removal of the abdominal skin apron caused by weight loss, once I reach my first LTG of 175. I've already visited w/ our cosmetic surgeon at my hospital, and he prefers that patients who have this procedure come see him as soon as they reach their goal weight. He then requires them to wait 6 months to see if they will be able to maintain their weight loss. If they are able to, he will then perform the surgery. He believes that I could lose anywhere from 5-15 lbs. from the removal of this excess skin, so that would make my final goal of 150 lbs. very close.

1. Track everything I eat to monitor nutritional intake & keep my calories in check.

2. Workout at least 4x / week, for a minimum of 30 minutes.

3. Go to gym at least 2 of those workouts each week.

4. Do a monthly workout challenge w/ co-workers & friends.
(currently doing the 31-day Squat & Pushup Challenge)

5. Continue to participate in the Biggest Loser Challenges on SP to help maintain my motivation & accountability.

6. Donate "outgrown" clothes to Goodwill as I "shrink" out of them to prevent me from having a buffer to fall back on if I gain weight.

That's it in a nutshell... this is what I want to do, and how I plan to do it...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRLTAZ 2/15/2014 5:31PM

    emoticon emoticon TC

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REBBUL67 2/10/2014 12:53AM

    You have emoticon goals and emoticon plans to get you to where you want to be. emoticon emoticon

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IMGLAMRUS 2/5/2014 8:39PM

    I love the break down of your goals and the actions you need to do to achieve them. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TROOPER1961 2/5/2014 7:44AM

    emoticon Sonja!!!! Bring on Spring challenge!!! emoticon

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LORI2562 2/5/2014 7:37AM


emoticon U can do it!

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January 2014 Results...

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

So this has been a pretty good month for me... I've done a great job w/ my nutrition, and stayed on track "fairly well" w/ my fitness.

So, here are my results for January:

Weight: 7 lbs. lost

Body fat %: 1.1% lost

Upper arms: 0.25 in. lost

Chest: 0.25 in. lost

Waist: 0.5 in. lost

Hips: 0.75 in. lost

Thighs: 0.25 in. lost

Calves: no change

TOTAL: 2 inches lost

If I can keep losing at this rate, I will actually reach my goal by the end of the year... hopefully if I keep participating in the Biggest Loser Challenges on here, that will keep my motivation up to achieve that!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JANUT57 1/31/2014 1:31PM

  Great job! emoticon emoticon

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SHANTODD420 1/29/2014 5:58PM

    Congrats that is awesome way to go Sonja.

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TROOPER1961 1/29/2014 5:58PM

    Woohoo Sonja!! Amazing job emoticon

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