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Thursday, July 18, 2013

Lately I have been more aware of what I'm eating even if what I am eating happens to be not so good for me. Today mom took us out for all-you-can-eat Chinese and I had an absolute blackout when it came to being mindful of what I put in my body. For some reason I completely forgot to remember portion control and healthy substitutions which is what I have been working on as far as my diet goes. I piled my plate up and went back for seconds. It wasn't till I got out of the restaurant that I realized how I completely skipped over the salad bar and how a got an extra large portion of the coconut shrimp! So uh, needless to say I just ignored the nutrition tracker all together, I can just assume I was in calorie overload today, but I got my consciousness in check and if there is a next time; which I am really thinking I am not ready to go out for meals at this point; at least next time I can be mindful of what I am doing and be more strategic in my food choices.

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NATASHAL316 8/15/2013 10:00AM

    Thanks so much everyone. @Jen that is some great ideas for out-to-eat strategies, I especially like the pick three rule and I think that I will be using that but I also do take advantage of the home advantage because preparing foods at home is much healthier than the restaurant versions.

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JENS_NEW_LIFE 7/29/2013 10:50AM

    I have a couple of suggestions from what I have learned so far. I am in a program that has classes etc. for people who have a BMI of 35+. Some of those people are hoping to qualify for weight loss surgery, but not only a few will get it either by their own choice or because there is a shortage of surgery spots. So we all learn what to do as if we will not get the surgery. First of all, the Chinese buffet was a long time ago now, its over, don't feel any guilt. Use it as an opportunity to learn instead.

One of the first things I learned, maybe even at orientation is that variety normally = eating more. You can think of this in terms of doughnuts, if you have a box of 12 chocolate covered doughnuts you won't eat as many as a box of assorted doughnuts, because we will feel like we have had enough of the chocolate ones, and if there is another variety we will be tempted to try "Just (half) of one of those...and end up eating more than we wanted to. The same goes for buffets, but I understand it would take a lot of coconut shrimp to get tired of it. I learned that you need to look over the buffet and pick a maximum of 3 foods you are going to eat, one should be very healthy, one or two moderate or if one is really bad - deep fried perhaps only have half of what you would normally. Salad bars are full of calories too so learn before you go. One plate max - share a dessert if you didn't eat any of that "bad" food. And be very careful of what you drink. Drink calories sneak up fast. This is unrealistic for some people and for those people avoid the buffet. Seriously, people can easily consume 10,000 calories at a Chinese buffet if they leave feeling stuffed and had anything besides water to drink.

Another thing I have learned is that I want to have the home advantage as much as possible. This means I want my food prepared at home so I know exactly what is in it. My program recommends that you limit eating out to twice a month, and when you do - don't think of it as a treat day, stay in control. You may want to take a calendar and count up all of the "its okay - its a birthday, wedding, Christmas party, Valentines day etc. that there are in a year, you will be surprised if you can think of all the celebrations that you can run across in a year. If I overate at all of the ones I came up with I would gain 30lbs a year. An extra 2500 calories is all it takes to put on a pound.

Good luck and congratulations on what you have done so far.

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CLPURNELL 7/22/2013 4:36PM

    Just try to make better choices next time! Glad that you recognize it then you can change it!

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1DERLAND14 7/21/2013 4:29PM

    We will all have times where we slip up...but what makes us successful is recognizing it and moving on and making a better choice next time! :) Which I think you're doing!! Keep fighting! You'll get there!

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CHYNNA81 7/18/2013 7:26PM

    Awww it happens to all of us. Sometimes we need to just eat what we like and what we long as this is not an everyday thing or an every week thing. Tomorrow is a new day Diva! So start fresh. I think you should try to track what you ate. Seeing it will help put things in perspective with calorie intake for the day.


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3016DEBRA 7/18/2013 4:56PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Love On Top

Thursday, June 20, 2013

I did it again..I am such a super slacker and I mean I am good at it. I hit the scale at 291 as of yesterday which offically makes me the largest I have ever been. I feel every bit of it. I could have met this disappointment with more self-loathing but instead I prayed about it and got some perspective. truth is for me its about getting to the place of acceptance and contentment; I need to be okay with loving me no matter what my size. I haven't ever done that. See, me loving myself has always been contingent on whether or not I met my weight goal. I could never see the future me being a happy fat person 'she' is always skinny and everyone loves 'her' for it. Im not saying the future me isn't smaller size however, I am saying that, A: I will always no matter what size I am, strive to be fit and healthy and B: I am making it a priority to love myself regardless of the numbers on the scale because that is mandatory.
emoticon emoticon

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PAM_COOPER 6/24/2013 2:11AM

    I really understand your feelings. I remember a time about 20 years ago after RE-gaining a 100 plus pounds. I was feeling pretty low about it I and made a similar comment, "I must accept who I am" despite of my size or any other self-perceived flaw in my person. I HAD to accept myself to be happy.

Being heavy is not easy in more ways than one and one of those ways happens to be in our mind. Personal peace starts with acceptance. I lived 20 more years of acceptance in a fat body before I got motivated to lose weight again.

This time it took a revelation of the negative example I had set for my (now grown) children, who incidentally followed in my fat footsteps. OMG!, I thought, what have I done? By not being mature enough to take control of my weight, easy or hard, I had led my children to believe it was their destiny to be fat . . . that we had 'special' issues, we were just big boned, had a poor metabolism, etc. I was also beginning to become lethargic, experiencing pain in my hips and just feeling bad all the time. So, once again I set my sail and embarked on another attempt to take control of my weight --- happily, I did it!

This time, I pray, will be different than all those weight loss efforts of the past. This time I PLAN to MAINTAIN! I do not want to do this again!!!!

I hope your take on my 'abbreviated' story is that acceptance is important and necessary no matter what size you are--you are a beautiful creation! To be the best you can be is to love yourself first! After that, you can work on the rest. That doesn't mean perfection, but it means forgiving yourself when you just can't get it right.

I also know that self improvement and the rewards of getting your weight under control is also very gratifying. Even more than before, now that I have lost the weight, I feel more like the real me than ever. I have regrets and still struggle with control issues and self acceptance, but am SO happy I am where I am now.

I am rootin' for ya!

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PROVERBS31JULIA 6/23/2013 9:05PM

    Oh I know I struggle with not loving myself first, like feeling I'm such a horrible loser for all the awful things that have happened. It's so hard to remember I have a better future ahead as a Child of the Most High and the blessings we're to look forward to.

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BLKLILY 6/23/2013 7:01PM

    emoticon girl... emoticon

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NAPPIGURL 6/20/2013 5:18PM

    That's a great revelation to begin with! emoticon

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3016DEBRA 6/20/2013 1:45PM

  I agree - healthy & fit is the ultimate goal + loving yourself in spite of other peoples opinions & the number on the scale. Stay positive & you can achieve anything! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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STRONG_SARAH 6/20/2013 2:14AM

    You are right. Actually I think it's a circle, someone who is caught in negative emotions and self-loathing can't spend the time and energy to look after themselves and therefore achieve the goals that will make them love themselves enough to treat themselves right.
Start with loving yourself and maybe the rest will follow. Good luck!

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PINKEUROGIRL 6/20/2013 12:51AM

    Good attitude

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The mental part of weight

Thursday, October 25, 2012

This week I began reading the book: Women Food and God. I have been on the whole mentally preparing myself for this weighlosing journey hoping to make this a permanent stick. I was only into the book a few pages before it had me boohoo'n about everything.

I started digging into my past, the times in my life that I feel really trigger my "fat thinking". I think my pre-teen years was it for me, moving to a new neighborhood into what seemed like a new culture...more like culture shock for me. I was starting a new school and I had no friends for most of my teen years so I turned to food for comfort. I can remember indulging with no filter; no restraint.

I'm not sure where this road of discovery will lead me but I can see how my past has affected my present. At some point I must say enough is enough and begin the growing process. I have a long way to go, I am in no rush but I have one goal and that is success.

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CLPURNELL 10/27/2012 8:51PM

    Overcoming the mental obstacles is the biggest part!!! you are well on your way!!!

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CMCCLELLAN521 10/27/2012 12:06PM

    It's awesome that you are examining the reasons why & you can do it! I have struggled myself for years and weight loss really is mental as much as physical. Keep up the focus and do it for you - you deserve the best! emoticon

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JANNEPERRY 10/26/2012 4:30PM

    Good for you. I think uncovering the reason why we do what we do, is sooo important. emoticon

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TOBEFREE81 10/26/2012 3:42PM

    Such a great way to look at it. This is a long journey, and you have to take it one step at a time! emoticon emoticon Prayers for you!

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LISBETHSALANDER 10/26/2012 12:35AM

    You are wise to examine the past. I feel like I need to understand where I've been so I don't have to go back there again. Best of luck with digging deep. It's not easy, but then nothing worth doing ever is.

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True Motivation

Sunday, October 21, 2012

I have never really stopped to consider what truly motivates me. Aside from the drive to meet the basic survival needs of my family. What is it that moves me from the desire to succeed to actually executing the plan. What drives my life.

I read an article in the local paper recently. The article was of an interview with a woman, a highschool teacher and her ten year battle with cancer, which at the present time, was at it's final stage. The woman announced to her family, friends, co- workers, and students that 'it' was over, that she had reached the point in her treatment where there more treatment. I was moved by the candlelit vigil her loved ones held for her. Everyone getting a chance to tell her in person their tearful goodbye. As she sat in her chair; wrapped in her blanket; with wet eyes she said something I am not likely to forget. "Even at 45 years old, I can honestly say I've had a GREAT life. I am leaving with no regrets."

I felt as if I was hit in the chest!! Can I truly say that if I were at the end of my life, I have NO REGRETS? Sadly my answer at this moment would be NO! I have lived a life of that has been most sedentary. All of the things I aspire to do are yet still ahead of me. The article didn't make me contrary, instead I was motivated!! I can put things into perspective...What drives me is the idea that in the end I will be able to look over my life and say I have no regrets.

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JANNEPERRY 10/22/2012 5:49AM

    I can tell from your words that great things are ahead! Thanks for sharing about the article and your motivation from it. emoticon

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Do Over

Thursday, October 18, 2012

It's just too bad do-overs don't really exist. I could use ine right now. In my perfect little fairtyale world, I could eat a million ding-dongs and Ho-Ho's and never gain a single pound. Even if I did there would be the do-over button that I could push and all would be forgiven with no repercussions.

Back to reality. I am fat. 288 lbs of fat to be exact, just to be real with myself. The few pounds I did lose have quickly re-surfaced and multiplied even. I was so sure that by now I would ve on my way to 10 lbs lighter, atleast that is my goal for the month. What seemed a reasonable has now become infathomable.

I have come to realize the hardest thing to do is NOT starting a thing; which is what I originally thought, It is continuing a thing that is already my case it is the journey to 100...scratch journey to 10 ( lbs lost that is) I started with a bang and that bang, has quickly become a whisper. I am not however, without any victories..I have not had a cigarette in over two-weeks!!! Whoop Whoop! Also, my menstral has gone (tmi) and I can finally tuck away the pitch fork til next month. Whoooo Saaaa! Feelin a bit better.

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CLPURNELL 10/22/2012 4:57AM


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JANNEPERRY 10/18/2012 9:58PM

    That's right, celebrate and build on what went right! emoticon

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SENIMMO 10/18/2012 5:23PM

    The slips and trips are part of the journey. Forgiving ourselves is also. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back to it emoticon The small steps will eventually add up to the results you want. Persistance will pay off. emoticon emoticon

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