Monday, October 07, 2013
I read this in a blog and it struck a chord. A big one.
* Change your vocabulary. Refuse to use excuse language. Resist the urge to ďexplainĒ to yourself or others why certain progress isnít happening, or why you are limited. Decide that you wonít talk about a problem unless it revolves around the solution you are formulating for it.
Monday, August 12, 2013
The current Kaia FIT sessionís theme is ďFree to Be Me,Ē which has an emphasis on letting go of limitations and focusing on playtime for grown-ups. I love this idea, in theory.
The first week, we practiced handstands. I love this because, even though I canít kick up to a handstand or do a free-standing one yet, I can walk up the wall and begin to move my hands closer to the wall. I didnít think Iíd be able to do this at my size, but once I let go of my doubt, I found I could do more than I assumed. So, handstands = good time! Even with my elbow tendonitis that refuses to go away!
The second week was cartwheels. Iíve never done a cartwheel in my entire life. I remember playing outside when I was a kid and trying to do cartwheels, but not being able to get it down. I was a big kid and I developed early, so once I hit 8 years old (and puberty), I just stopped doing things like that because I felt like I looked out of place. So, I was intimidated to even try doing cartwheels. I tried following the directions and using a karate pad on the floor to place my hands and hop over from foot to foot. I could tell I wasnít doing it correctly. I couldnít wait for that class to be over.
The next week was bridge-ups, like in a yoga class. My elbow screamed at me the entire time, but I tried anyway. I couldnít get all the way off the ground, but I could get my shoulders up a bit. Even that was hard!
This week is somersaults. I havenít done these since I was a kid. And I do remember being able to do them. But I also remember getting heavier and it would hurt more to do them the bigger I got. Thereís a lot of pressure on your head and neck, from what I remember.
The workout started with cartwheels, hooray. And everyone in front of me, by now, can do cartwheels flawlessly and all day long. Ugh. I still had to use the pad on the floor, which made me feel inferior. Then, the coach set up a big gymnastics mat that we could tumble on to for somersaults. The goal was to basically just tumble over and stand up right away. Of course, every girl in front of me could do it easily. I freaked myself out a bit and the coach could tell, so she offered to get an exercise ball for me to help with it. I got on the ball for a second, leaned back, caught my reflection in the mirror, and said, F*&$ it! It was awful. I skipped my turn and ran through the next station that was set up. I skipped every one after that, too.
Iíd rather do a thousand push-ups than have to do that again. I know thatís not the attitude to have, and I tried really hard to get out of my negative mindset this morning. It was tough. I wanted to quit and leave, but I stuck it out. But in my stubbornness, I refused to modify the bear crawls, push-ups, donkey kicks, and plank rotations. My stiff and swollen elbow is now telling me how irresponsible that was.
I donít like feeling like I canít do something, and I feel this way pretty often. Iím well aware of my size and my physical limitations, so when Iím faced with a workout like this, I feel like those things are highlighted. Iím not sure how to get over this obstacle, but I need to figure it out. In the meantime, Iíll keep showing up and getting the best workout I can get for me.
Tuesday, July 09, 2013
Iíve finally built up some momentum and Iím starting to get results.
Iím still doing Kaia FIT, a womenís-only bootcamp-type program. We recently did a 6-week Brik, which is basically a more intensive session than the 5-week sessions we normally do. While I didnít commit fully to the diet portion of the program, I made it to every workout (5 days a week) during Brik. I wake up at 4 am to be in Carlsbad by 5 am, and there is a huge difference between doing that 3 days a week and 5 days! I was one tired girl by the end of the week. But I felt so much better overall!
While I have lost about 21 pounds since the beginning of the year and a few inches overall, thatís not what Iím happiest about. Itís about what Iíve gained so far. Iím a little stronger from the bodyweight workouts and Iíve started lifting weights in my garage. And these have given me the biggest confidence boost.
At the end of an outdoor Kaia workout last week, I was feeling pretty drained by the end of it. While the others ran to the other end of the parking lot, I walked back. It was all I had in me, I thought. Then the instructor had one last surprise: everyone had to hold a plank with their feet up on a retaining wall. Everyone was in place by the time I got there. The one good thing about a fast-paced workout is that it limits the time I have to think, I canít do this/My body doesnít work that way/etc. Those thoughts have always been automatic for me. But theyíre beginning to fade. I took a look at everyoneís feet to see how they placed them on the wall, and then I got myself into position. There was a whisper of, I canít do this, but there was a louder voice that said, How do you know? And that is becoming more common these days.
I have been taking progress photos of myself so I can see how I change. But I swear I donít see any difference yet! Maybe a little in my face, but only from one angle. I canít see the changes that are happening, but I can feel them.
Back in April, WOLFKITTY, my husband and I hiked up this giant hill near where we live. This past weekend, we hiked to Double Peak again. At the top is a beautiful old tree, and you can enjoy a 360-degree view of northern San Diego County. The first hike was a leg killer. We hadnít hiked in a while and some parts are pretty steep. It was challenging and I felt the effects for days afterward. This time, it was still challenging and I was sweating buckets, but I felt stronger on the way up. Some Kaia girls had reached the top long before we did, and they even ran past us on their way down while we were still hiking! That happens on every Kaia run, too. Iím always last! But that doesnít bother me as much anymore.
Kaia has a few mantras and one is, Find your hard. And I do. I know that my version of hard is another girl's warm-up, and thatís OK. As I progress, itíll be my warm-up one day, too.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
I climbed a mountain last weekend. Cowles Mountain is the highest peak in San Diego, and itís been on my radar since I moved here in 2009. I missed an opportunity to climb it a couple of years ago with some San Diego Sparkpeeps, but I kept it on my ďadventure listĒ (with WOLFKITTY). See her blog about this hike here: www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
Hereís the thing: I have an irrational fear of falling, and Iíve let that hold me back from some pretty cool things. Iím not afraid of heights, just falling. And hiking is full of potential for falling!
I went on a hike earlier this year with a group from SP, and it was a disaster (for me). I was at a low point in general anyway, and navigating unfamiliar and uneven terrain messed with my head. Even as I watched several people ahead of me jump or step wide from one rock to the next, and I could see exactly what I needed to do, I was frozen in fear. I donít know how long I would stand there, but it felt like forever each time. I had to talk myself into taking the next step or jump, and it was a battle. My fear is that the rock would not support my weight. My brain would flash pictures of me falling into the water as the rock gave way or blood spewing forth as I missed the rock and landed face first on the ground. I know itís irrational, but I could not help it. Apparently, people tried talking to me during these moments and I was so far in my own head that I didnít even hear them! Iíd finally make it to the next obstacle and start the frozen-in-fear thing all over again.
Despite this self-created disaster, I wanted to keep hiking. San Diego is beautiful, and thereís so much to explore. I donít want this fear to hold me back from anything. And it wasnít going to steal Cowles Mountain from me!
Early Sunday morning, my husband, Jocelyn and I met HAWAIIANMAMA at the base of Cowles Mountain. Itís pretty popular, so there were a ton of people there already. We started our ascent and I had to tell myself not to think about the descent that would come later. I had to get up there and enjoy the view before the meltdown began!
It was a really good hike. Challenging, but not impossible. What struck me was how different an experience it is for everyone. For me, it was a serious challenge that required focus and coordination and stops to catch my breath. For others, it was their playground. There were people running and jumping off rocks on their way down as if it were the easiest thing in the world. Iíll have to work up to that!
The view from the top was so worth it. The marine layer hadnít yet burned off, which kept the sun from beating down on us, but also restricted the view a bit. It didnít matter though, it was still pretty sweet!
After all of my stressing and worrying about the descent, I didnít do too badly. Jocelyn, Malia and my husband were all very supportive and that helped me keep my fear in check. Iím certainly not as confident with hiking as others, but I thought I was noticeably more comfortable with it this time. I think pushing myself in my Kaia workouts contributed to that. My body has been proving my brain wrong more often lately, and thatís giving my confidence a much-needed boost.
So, I conquered the mountain! And I loved it. And I want to do it again!
Friday, April 19, 2013
This week's challenge was to incorporate 3 of the 9 superfoods, according to OrganicGardening.com.
I saw a big bunch of asparagus at the store, so I knew it was destined for my grill (and mah belly). I don't follow recipes too often, so I basically just chopped the asparagus into bite-sized pieces along with red bell peppers, zucchini, and some salt-free seasoning. I threw this into a grill basket and put it on the grill for about 15 minutes. The veggies get really bright when they're done (to my liking). I like them crisp, with some bite to them.
The next day, I made a big salad for lunch and topped it with leftover grilled veggies. Super yum!
Another night, I made mushroom pizzas! I got the idea from the lovely BEFIT_WITHGUSTO. I've been missing pizza SO MUCH lately. This gluten-free business is no fun when you really want pizza! So, I got two big portabella mushrooms, filled them with pizza sauce, then topped with spinach and cheese. I put them into a 375-degree oven for 20 minutes, I think. They came out pretty well, too! It was similar to having pizza, but much lighter. I wanted like 5 more though! haha
Finally, for snacks pretty much all week, I had sugar snap peas, which I ate with red pepper hummus that I made last weekend. I was worried that the hummus hadn't turned out right because it was runny earlier, but it thickened up nicely. I love making hummus.
I really like challenges like these. Especially seeing what others come up with!
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