Friday, December 12, 2014
It has been a week of trials for me. Everyday has brought something that I have to deal with and with the loss of the most important part of my support system it has not been very good. However this is not about all that. Earlier in the week i was watching a Holiday program , I dont recall the name it was on HallMark . Mostly for noise in an otherwise quiet house. I caught part of a conversation on the screen.
On a boxcar there is a homeless man at dawn with a bright stream of golden sun rays shining through the door as he lifted his hands to the heavens as if catching the rays of light, the other man proclaims what are you doing? the first man says " i am giving my ten golden rays'. Perplexed the explanation followed . His mother had told him that every morning at down to give the 10 things he is thankful for, 10 golden rays to start the day off the right way. I am not sure why this clicked so much with me i guess because i have been so wrapped in worry and anxiety that somewhere inside i need to be thankful. It is Christmas and the season has hit me hard but i am doing the best I can however I need to remember that there are things to be thankful for with no "buts" in them, Life isnt perfect but it can be worst so take time today life me and give ten things to the sun that you are thankful for.
10 Golden rays :
1. I am thankful for SCC even though times are hard right now I know because of him they will be better.
2. I am thankful for my friends who have endured countless hours listening to me and doing all they can to help me through the things that are going on .
3. My son Christopher who without fail always manages to bring a smile to face .
4. i am thankful for the almost 60 years that god gave me with my parents they gave me strength to go the distance.
5. My house as there are so many who wished they could worry over the mortgage of a home.
6. My youngest son Joshua for being a strong man and showing the other side of life.
7. My job it isnt great but I am not standing beside the road asking for money either.
8. Spark people because it keeps on the right track and gives someplace to be accountable to people.
9. My grandchildren who give me a glimpse of joy when I hear their voices and giggles.
10. For me myself because i am no ordinary chick.
On my last blog someone only wrote the one word response " Freaky". I am not sure what they meant by that but in the journey to loose weight I have found there are plenty of freaky things. When you have to loose as much weight as I do it is not a matter of just pushing back from the table and killing yourself in the gym it is about becoming a different person entirely. You give up beliefs and safety nets all in the hope that you will become better than you were. I am very thankful for every freaky moment of this the good ones and the bad ones because they are so worth the trip to me. So yes my blog might be a little freaky but it is also a very real look into the struggles that has taken me to find the successes in a new healthy life. So I really hope that everyone finds there on freaky way in this and along the way finds a success also.