Wednesday, August 06, 2014
So much has happened in the four months since I last blogged! Actually, there has been no major THING that pulled me out of the Spark stratosphere, my heart just wasn't in it. My heart actually wasn't in a lot of things. My life felt BLAH. Of course we all know that when life starts to feel that way, we tend to pacify our feelings with food. I did that, a little, I guess. I never had a binge in those 4 months, I wasn't sneaking cookies or cakes. Honestly, my food habits weren't as bad as I would have expected them to be. What was bad was my energy, my enthusiasm, and my exercise habits. So I decided to see a hypnotherapist.
I know it may sound wacka-doo but hypnotherapy turned my energy and enthusiasm for life completely around. I didn't know what to really expect. My first appointment with Kim was very similar to regular therapy with the exception that she focused on when and what I was eating in response to various emotional episodes I was having. We talked about my family. She asked me how our relationships were. We talked about what my workday looked like. When I would speak of something, if she noticed my demeanor changing while discussing, she would stop me there and we would try to figure out what foods I was eating or snacking on immediately following those moments. Were my snacks crunchy? Soft? Could I remember the exact taste? She would ask me to describe the flavor. What was happening to the rest of my body? She was asking me all of these things BEFORE she hypnotized me. Kim was able to assess that the reason for my depressed state was because I was not being intellectually challenged at work and my naturally creative spirit needed a creative outlet, otherwise I was turning to food. She then asked me what would I like my relationship to food to be like. She asked me about the colors of the foods I most often indulged in. Then she hypnotized me. Surprisingly, I am VERY EASILY hypnotized. During hypnosis she provided positive reinforcement. She told me I would beging to crave and seek out brightly colored foods . She also spoke into my consciousness that I would find ways to be active at least 5 times a week.
After the session, I felt so refreshed, focused and ALIVE. It was like all the heavy stuff that was weighing me down had somehow been erased. I was in good spirits! Kim's studio also offers hyp-yoga. This is where you go through 70 minutes of yoga instruction and then they perform hypnosis at the end to reset your energy and reinforce positive thoughts. It is the way I feel after each class. I am sure you are probably imagining hypnosis being some crazy scenario of us acting like apes or unknowingly humping a stranger's leg. It's not like that. We actually don't move at all. It is like being in a deep sleep but your subconscious mind is fully awake. Doctors say that 20 min of hypnosis is like getting 8 hours of sleep in terms of energy and focus. And through these hyp-yoga classes, I have fallen in LOVE with yoga. Going to these classes have helped me forgive myself for not perfecting this weightloss thing. It has helped me appreciate the body I have because the body I have is STRONG and FLEXIBLE. It made me come to grips that while I may never be thin, that won't make me any less of a wife and mother. Do I want to lose more weight? Absolutely. But I am not shooting for a major weight loss any longer. I just want to look cute in my yoga pants!
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
I am stubborn. Not about everything, but the things I am passionate about, I would fight tooth and nail for. I am PASSIONATE about food. I am sure some of my fat may be due to deep-rooted psychological issues, but MOST of it is because FOOD IS Everyone who has ever been on a diet has heard the addage that weight loss is 20% SWEAT and 80% NUTRITION. That sucks. Why can't I just eat my coffee cake and dance later???!!! I am telling you, if weight loss was determined solely by effort of movement, I would be waltzing through the supermarket in a bikini!
But it's not. And even though I had heard that 3,000 times before, I didn't wholeheartedly believe it until Monday night. I went to a Zumba class and ran into a woman that I had not seen in about six months. The last I had seen her, she had already lost 40 lbs from her all-time high, but she still had weight to lose. She had told me, at that time, that she had joined Weight Watchers and that she really needed to focus on her diet because she was working out like crazy but had stopped seeing results. I wished her the best, got married and gained "Love weight". In the meantime, she focused on her nutrition and continued to workout. When I seen her on Monday, I didn't immediately recognize her. But then I did a double take. She has lost an additional 45 lbs!!! From the time I originally met her over a year ago, to know, she has gone from what I suspect to have been a 22W/24W to her current size 10. She carries a lot of her weight in herbottom half so she may easily be an 8 on top. Her transformation is MIRACULOUS!! I take that back. It wasn't a miracle. It was her hard work, tenacity, fight and focus that got her there. But most importantly, it was her NUTRITION. She told me after class that she plans everything and tracks everything. And THAT is when it clicked for me. This woman and I have spent plenty of time in the sauna together after a class trying to encourage each other and sharing our struggle. She loves food just like I do. But she also likes to sweat, just like I do. I thought to myself: you can BE where she is at if you are WILLING to do the WORK that she did. I MUST TRACK FOOD! I also can't allow boredom to dictate what I put into my mouth. I have to be okay with being hungry. On a sidenote: I attempted to track my food on Spark yesterday and it was not working. Nonetheless, nutrition is the bizness!!
Monday, April 21, 2014
I don't remember it being this hard to lose a few pounds! When I started my weight loss journey nearly two years ago, I had the eye of the tiger. Everything was about healthy living. I lost 2 lbs a week consistently for 16 weeks and then it would hit or miss but I managed to get off 55 lbs. This past week I had a MINISCULE goal. A goal so small, it shouldn't even be called a goal. I just wanted to lose 0.2 lbs. I gained 0.6. What in the SAM HELL? I worked out 4 days last week and ate sensibly. My water intake was CRAZY. I don't have quite the eye of the tiger but I have been trying. Today my pants are dissecting my gutt, they are so tight. And I didn't eat much on Easter. Actually yesterday, I was at my mom's house and I wanted to change out of my church dress. My brother and his kids live with her. I asked my mom if she had a pair of scrubs I could wear (she is a nurse). My brother offered to grab me something to change into.
Let me explain the body compositions of these folks. At one point last summer, my mom and I wore the same size and my upper body was actually smaller than hers. Not so much after an 18 pound gain. My nephew is a long and lanky 17 year old and my brother is much bigger than me. I was kind of nervous about what my brother was going to give me to wear. Well he brought me up one of my nephew's t-shirts and a pair of my mom's scrub pants. The shirt was huge on me, which isn't much of a victory because my nephew is a little goth and tends to wears his shirts big. Surprisingly, I fit my mom's scrub pants. While they were snug in the thighs, they had room in the waist, butt and legs. In that moment, I felt relieved that I am getting on top of my weight gain before it gets to the point that I am embarassed by situations like this.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Am I the only person that has to have on lipstick to REALLY dance??? About once a week I go to this Hip-Hop dance class with my brother's girlfriend. She always makes fun of me because before every class, I whip out my cosmetic bag and choose a color for the night. And not just any color. I go LOUD, SASSY, PREVOCATIVE. I wear hot pink, magenta, plum, midnight red. It's like I am putting on confidence with every swipe of the lipstick. Tameica will say, "Oh no. It's Beyonce!" Our dance instructor calls me, "Get it Girl". I just love to dance and the loud lips help me get into character. Am I the only one?
Last night I picked up People's annual edition of Half Their Size. It was costly at $12.99 but I needed the motivation. This edition focused on people who had previously been featured and are still at their maintenance weight. It was so cool to read their stories and find little gems here and there. And guess what? SPARKPEOPLE was featured as a a proven weight loss mechanism. They shared a member's story and talked about Chris' goal with the site. I was reading it and said, "YYAAAAYY! We made it!" This community really makes me proud.
One of the weight loss success stories shared that she lost ovre 160 pounds by eating dinner at breakfast and breakfast at dinner. She said she would have fish or chicken with vegetables and perhaps a starch for breakfast. She would then have soup or salad for lunch and finish the evening with oatmeal and fruit. This woman lost 12 pounds the first week she did it. The expert nutritionist said it put her body into fat burning mode. I don't know but this morning I decided to try something like it. I had grilled salmon and scrambled eggs for breakfast with a cup of green tea (most of the people in the book swore by the tea at breakfast). It was so good and I was CRAZY full. I wasn't full immediately either. I felt satisfied. But then I began to feel more full and two hours after that I still wasnt hungry. When it was time for my mid morning snack, I really didn't want to eat it. I did anyway because I am trying to keep to the plan but it was hard. I will definitely have that again.
But anywho, I better get going. It's 2 pm and i should probably eat lunch (I'm not hungry).
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