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NINJALINDA's Recent Blog Entries

Bound to get better sooner or later. Hmm...looks like later

Monday, September 15, 2014

Well, I took my cat to the vet today for the nasal flush. Had high hopes this would be the ticket, but we all know what can happen with high hopes. Picked up my cat this evening, and he sounds just as bad as he did when I dropped him off this morning. Now I have to decide whether to subject the poor thing to surgery - in hopes that it will help - to the tune of $300. Oh, and today's vet visit was $276. (And the chiropractor was $115)

I hate being in a downward spiral like this. I know it has to end sooner or later, but sooner is not looking to come through for me. As I continue to fork money hand over fist, I can't help but think about everything that's looming. Christmas. My 10 year old car with 275,000 miles on it (and I drive 100 miles/day). 20 year old refrigerator, and heat/AC system. I'm sure I'm forgetting something, and it will probably break tomorrow!

If it does, it does. Fretting & worrying over it won't help. Just have to keep moving forward, or at least try not to fall back. Maybe I can make it through tomorrow without spending any money. Maybe?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

-POLEDANCEGIRL- 9/22/2014 10:24AM

    HUGS!! Hang in there. One thing at a time. It will get better. i promise!

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KLONG8 9/17/2014 12:47AM

    Thought I'd check in on you. Sounds like you're dealing with a lot of strength-zapping crap, Linda. Calliesweet's message is right on though. Don't worry about what you can't control....things have a way of sorting themselves out. I'm rooting for you! And your cat!

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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 9/16/2014 10:41AM

    Wow....100 miles a day in your car. That's a lot. I'm hoping that everything keeps working. It can be overwhelming when we start looking at everything that could go wrong. I guess the good news is that it's pretty rare for everything to go wrong at once.

Wishing you an event-free week! (or if there is an event....it's a GOOD one)

Hugs,
Kay

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CALLIESWEET 9/16/2014 9:19AM

    I feel so bad for you. Could you go with a friend for a walk or to have coffee to talk all of this out? Try very hard to distract yourself from thinking of all the potential costly problems that could happen. You are adding the weight of things that aren't happening to what is actually going on, which is already enough to think about. Which I already know you know, but it's what I'd say to a friend over coffee and what I'd want someone to remind me. emoticon As a side note, did they send the materials from your cat's flush to the lab to double-check what's going on in the sinuses to give you all the options and an idea how likely the surgery is to solve the problem? Hang in there and take good care of yourself through all this!

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When your 'small potatoes' problems come in 50lb sacks, or death by 1000 paper cuts

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Life has been on the 'UGH' side lately. I feel a little guilty for feeling that way, though. I have enough perspective to step back, look at things objectively, and realize that it's mostly minor annoyances that I'm dealing with. Even minor annoyances, though, add up when there's enough of them.

Don't know if I've blogged about it, but my shoulder has been unwell for about a year and a half. A year ago May I went to my doctor, who gave me some exercises that didn't work, so he sent me to the orthopaedic guy who gave me a shot that didn't work, so he sent me to physical therapy. That worked, to a point, but I didn't have unlimited time to take off work & unlimited $$ for therapy, so I got myself to an acceptable level of motion and pain & stopped going. Didn't really have the equipment to continue the exercises, and over time my shoulder started getting worse again. Ignored it until I couldn't any more. Didn't want to go back to the ortho guy, as he was going to want to suggest surgery.

Did a little research and decided to try a chiropractor. I'd seen in my digging that acupuncture might help, and this chiropractor offers it. I've been going since mid-July, and I feel like I'm making progress, but slowly. And unfortunately, acupuncture is not a covered medical service per my insurance. So 3x a week for 3 weeks, and then 2x a week for 3 weeks, and now 2x a week for 2 weeks and then 1x a week for 2 weeks I'm paying $115 per session for my treatment. Anybody have an EXTRA $345 or $230 or even $115 per week? No? Me neither.

Then, one of my cats got sick. No biggie - off to the vet. Visit + antibiotic later and there goes $85. First antibiotic doesn't work, so we try another ($28), and that doesn't seem to be working plus the cat decides NO MORE PILLS. So back to the vet and now we have a nasal flush scheduled (requiring anesthesia and X-rays). Who knows how long the cat will have to stay at the vet, and of course, he will be discharged with additional meds. CHA-ching. Oh, and all four of them are due for regular visits & shots.

I was working from home the other day when I picked up the phone to call the vet (see above paragraph) only to find my phone wasn't working. Called my home phone from my cell, and it went straight to my 'I'm already on the line' voicemail. Only none of the phones in my house were off the hook. Had to have Verizon come out (of course I don't have the maintenance plan), and they were able to fix it, thank goodness.

Just seems here lately that my life is a series of problems. Some get solved and some drag on and on. I guess everyone's life is that, in some way or another. I'm just tired of it being all about me. Being married for all of my adult life, until my husband died 3 years ago - at least we could divide & conquer. I would deal with the stuff I was good at, and he would take what he was good at, and anything else we'd flip for or do together. It's not fun being the only responsible adult left standing!

The last several weeks/months have been a constant juggling act of work, doctor visits, vet visits, repair visits, household chores, etc, etc. Stop the world, I want to get off. But I can't. Have to keep plugging, plodding along - hoping it all works out eventually.

As an update - I decided not to go for the promotion. With all the other stress & clutter that my life has become, I decided I don't need to throw a question mark into the mix. No need to toss one stable, good thing in my life aside for a question mark!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEEHOLZ 9/15/2014 9:09PM

    Things just have to start looking up for you Linda!!!! I know you are due for some good news :-) I also know how frustrating it all can get ( especially the injury part and trying everything and throwing money at it just hoping something will work and that you will get better). Hang in there Linda! Good things come to those that..... XOXO

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ARUNNINGKAT 9/15/2014 12:25PM

    Gotta love those medical bills and cat bills. Our cat bills last month were enough to scare anyone. Can't they just stay out of fights and stay healthy???

So sorry about your arm! It is always so frustrating when nothing seems to work...and everything costs money too.

emoticon emoticon

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BBAHONORS 9/14/2014 9:47PM

    I know exactly what you're going through, my friend. And, at times, it does get a bit overwhelming. But things will even out and get better. One day at a time, my friend... emoticon

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CALLIESWEET 9/14/2014 9:50AM

    That is a lot of juggling! And a lot of money! I'm glad your shoulder is getting better, if slowly. As crazy expensive as the chiropractor sounds, I guess it's probably cheaper (and less scary) than surgery. Maybe the chiropractor can suggest some at home exercises that don't require an investment in equipment once you're done with the acupuncture. That promotion sounded interesting, but stress is the worst thing for your health, so it's smart not to potentially add any more of that to your life right now. Wishing you and your cat happier times ahead! emoticon

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KNEEMAKER 9/13/2014 10:48PM

  Yep never give up. Just Keep on Keeping on! emoticon

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AGILECAT 9/13/2014 10:32PM

    That is just life, sometimes, and we deal with it as best we can. You are due for some smooth sailing--hang in there!

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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 9/13/2014 9:57PM

    I hope things get calmer for you soon.
Hugs,
Kay

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Whatever to do?

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Sometimes life gets interesting. Sometimes it's complicated. Sometimes it's confusing. Sometimes...all of the above!

A little over a year ago I took a leap of faith at work. Left the office & co-workers I'd been with for 22+ years and took a job in our home office. I knew the work would be way different. There were people there I knew, but it really was leaving (mostly) everything I knew, going to a location over an hour away from my previous job, betting that the new job would work out & I'd be good at it & like it and life would be good.

The bet paid off. I am so much happier. I like what I do. I love my co-workers. We have fun at work (imagine that!). I feel like I'm making a real contribution. Sound like a recipe for decision time? Well...it is.

One of my friends in my new location, but in a different unit, is retiring. She & one of her co-workers (also a friend, but I don't know nearly as well) were discussing who might be a suitable replacement when she retires, and guess who they came up with? Yep - me. (Neither of them is in charge of hiring this position, I might add, but the less known friend approached me today to try & talk me int applying for the position.)

Pros? It would be a promotion. I have 6 years left until I can retire, so leaving with the highest salary possible is a definite consideration, as my retirement is based on the highest 3 years compensation. This could make the difference between retiring on time (at 30 years but still pretty young), or having to work longer.

Cons? Maybe none...but I don't know. This job would be very different from what I'm doing now,and I don't know if I'd like it or not. I know the pressure would be greater. I like everyone in that unit (as far as I know), but I've not worked very closely with many of them. It's a great opportunity, but...the unknown.

I've never shied away from a challenge in the past. I will probably at least make application (who says I'd even GET the job?). In the back of my mind, though...6 years is a long time if I get the job & hate it. And it's really hard to leave a great situation (current job).

So...decisions, decisions. Whatever to do?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HOLLYL7 8/26/2014 10:31AM

    I say go for it! Don't let fear of change hold you back. At a minimum, I would investigate more details about the job and, even if you don't get it, going through the application and interview process is good practice.

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KLONG8 8/21/2014 12:52AM

    Sometimes you just need to LEAP! And also, an application is just that. But as you get deeper into things you'll have more information and then....if it comes to decision time you will need to go with your well-trained gut. Good luck and can't wait to hear.


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SEEHOLZ 8/17/2014 3:36PM

    If you apply and get the job and hate it? Can you go back? Change again? Who says you are stuck for 6 years?! I took a job working for a great boss and if I stayed I would have been promoted etc... but I couldn't stand the job. I stayed for 11 months before I had to tell my boss ( and friend who I love dearly) that the job just wasn't for me. But now I know better than to go back to that type of job. So I am glad I made that choice :-)
I am sure that you'll find the right decision within you and remember it is okay to stay where you are if that is the right job for you :-) There are really no wrong choices.

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IFDEEVARUNS2 8/15/2014 3:24PM

    By applying and interviewing, you may figure it all out.

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LIGHTNINGRUNNER 8/13/2014 5:44PM

    I would apply - even if you do, you don't know if you will get it or not. I would think if you are even considering it - you should try.


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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 8/13/2014 1:00PM

    My husband changed jobs his last few years of working in part to boost his pension. It can make a huge difference. He never regretted making the change. I hope it works out well for you.
Hugs,
Kay

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PLMITCH 8/13/2014 12:56PM

    I've been very fortunate at my company to be able to move to different positions. Some have worked out, some not. I'm transitioning into a new job starting this Friday. The one I am transitioning out of just was not the right fit for me -- too much of what I'll call "administravia". I am a person of action, and work best when I have real time tasks to work on.

So it sounds like you may work for a larger company where you may be able to move around if this potential new job does not work out, so my 2 cents is go for it! Life is too short!
emoticon

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-POLEDANCEGIRL- 8/13/2014 12:46PM

    DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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CALLIESWEET 8/13/2014 10:39AM

    How exciting to have an opportunity for a promotion! I'm guessing you'll at least apply. Then you can weigh out the pros and cons in the meantime. It sounds like either option is a good one, so you really can't go wrong here, but retiring with more money sounds like a real incentive. Good luck!

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BBAHONORS 8/13/2014 9:08AM

    Remember to pray about it. That will often clarify things from the gitgo! emoticon

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AGILECAT 8/13/2014 8:42AM

    It's great that you enjoy your current job, but who's to say it will be the same a couple of years from now? Other people may leave, companies make organizational changes, etc. Sometimes we seek out new challenges, and sometimes they find us. It sounds as though you have found yourself in the right place at the right time--a career opportunity with the blessings of at least two people who see your talents. Trust yourself!

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PMRUNNER 8/13/2014 7:07AM

    It is good to have options. Best wishes whichever path you choose!

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KNEEMAKER 8/12/2014 11:20PM

  Keep on keeping on! emoticon

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Disappointments

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Disappointments. They happen. Many times they make us mad, or sad, or frustrated with ourselves. This blog is not about that. Sometimes we get disappointed and we had nothing to do with it and there was nothing we could do to make it different.

I have three sisters, and we are very different from each other. We span a 16 year age gap, but we're pretty darned close I'd say. Even so, we rarely get a chance to be together. Years ago, and for several years running we would get together for weekends and go hiking. As different as we all were, this was something we all enjoyed, and we made time each year (many times twice a year) to get together - just us - and go hiking for a weekend. But times changed and life situations changed, and now it's been probably 5+ years since we got together.

This year we were going to change that. We were going to get together and do SOMETHING. Sisters - together again. We batted some times & locations around, and I ended up renting a house at the outer banks of NC. I was thrilled!

Didn't take long before something happened, and one sister had to bow out. I was disappointed, but understood given the situation. Time passed and the remaining three of us made our plans. The given week was right around the corner (Memorial Day week)! In addition to my sisters my Mom, MIL, sons, and some of their friends would be coming for portions of the week as well. Vacation - and an abundance of family!

Then this morning...and an email from the second sister advising she wouldn't be able to make it. This one hit hard, because I knew how much she had been looking forward to it. But it made me mad, too, as I knew (suspected) it was due to what I consider to be an unrequited loyalty to her job. The job that works her 60+ hours many, many weeks. The job she arrives early to, works through her lunch at, and leaves late from many days. The job that has decided - NO MORE comp time for overtime hours! The job she's killing herself for.

Disappointed, and angry. Not angry at my sister, really. Just angry. I know life is not fair, but damn it...this isn't fair. (Don't tell me to talk sense into her - she's way too hard headed and would just get mad at me.)

I will have fun on vacation, and I'll enjoy the family I have around me. Sisters weekend will have to wait. Hope I haven't seen the last one.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEEHOLZ 5/25/2014 11:33AM

    I struggle with the whole job thing myself at times ( but I don't spend 60 hours a week there either) - I am so busy right now, I seriously considered working tomorrow, but then opted against it, because I feel a certain entitlement to my holiday and don't feel that i get compensated sufficiently ( not just monetary) to give it my all- including sacrificing precious time with my family. You got to know where to draw the line- sometimes that's not an easy task, not when you work for a for-profit company, being paid a salary ( it's a no brainer in public or hourly jobs-lol).
Enjoy your vacation- it sounds like you'll still have plenty of family around, so go have fun!


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LIGHTNINGRUNNER 5/16/2014 11:21AM

    Linda - I am so sorry. sometimes we forget we won't be remember for our jobs...

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CHAOTICMOM4 5/14/2014 4:47PM

    Bummer, I'm a group planner/organizer. It's so frustrating when you get everything planned out and people change their committment.

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LUCKYLORA677 5/14/2014 9:54AM

    I'm sorry your plans have had to change. As the "planner/logistics queen" for MY family, I know how that feels - to go to all this trouble to set things up, get really excited for the upcoming adventure, and then have someone bail on you. Usually the one you planned the whole adventure around in the first place. All we can do is pick up, continue on and hope they can make the next adventure. I'm sorry though for your disappointment. I hope you can have a good time anyway and maybe try again for the sister gathering soon. emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/14/2014 9:55:06 AM

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-POLEDANCEGIRL- 5/14/2014 9:26AM

    Hugs. I have not seen my brother in 5 years. It is so hard! Enjoy the family you have around you.

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NANADERRICK 5/14/2014 7:40AM

    Unbelievable...oh, wait a minute. Yes it is. I hadn't heard this news. Well, I guess the two of us will have to have enough fun to make up for all of us!!!!!

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LIFEASMRSA 5/13/2014 9:21PM

    I'm sorry to hear two of your sisters won't be joining you on vacation, but like you said you'll have fun on vacation! and I'm sure your sisters will be there with you in spirit!

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FITWITHIN 5/13/2014 8:45PM

    I know how you feel. It's very difficult for my sisters and I to find dates the works for everyone. Then one of my sisters seems to always manage to bring her work with her. This just pisses use off, because it takes so, long to plan our time, and we say it's a work free environment. However, enjoy the family that's able to make it.

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JUSGETTENBY42 5/13/2014 8:10PM

    emoticon

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Day four mantra

Thursday, May 01, 2014

Today I will take the following step toward my goal: I will understand that I control what goes into my mouth.

Pretty simple concept, huh? We all know that we ultimately control what goes into our mouths. But how many times do we give ourselves a pass? It's a celebration. It's my birthday. It's Christmas, or Easter, or the 4th of July.

My nemesis (of late) - it's bowling night. So of course, I'll drink (too many) beers and go over on calories. It's only once a week! And it's *special*.

But it doesn't have to happen that way. And tonight (bowling night), it didn't happen that way. Because I DO control what goes in my mouth. I can, at least. I proved it tonight.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PENOWOK 5/3/2014 11:41AM

    You ARE the boss of YOU!

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-POLEDANCEGIRL- 5/2/2014 10:33AM

    Our food is key. I have been really focusing on what goes in my mouth too. I passed up german goodies this am at work and donuts the other day. Tonight the Easter candy is thrown out. Ate all the ice cream last night. So, I am working on it.

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LUCKYLORA677 5/2/2014 12:28AM

    Congratulations you Self-Control Ninja! Way to go!

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CALLIESWEET 5/1/2014 10:53PM

    You are on a roll! emoticon

Thank you for sharing your daily mantras with us!

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RENATA144 5/1/2014 10:46PM

  Try this thought -" My body is not a garbage can."
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DARSHAN130 5/1/2014 10:45PM

    emoticon emoticon

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KNEEMAKER 5/1/2014 10:44PM

  emoticon It is your mouth. You can do it so keep on keeping on and meet your goals

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