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Wednesday, September 23, 2009
One of my favorite albums in the 80's was Kenny Rogers Greatest Hits. I don't know that there was a single song that I didn't love, recognize by opening line, and know every stinking lyric to by heart. I played that cassette tape until it shredded and if memory serves me, went out and bought another and did the same thing. I can remember him woefully begging Ruby not to take her love to town. I can vividly recall the courage it took the Coward of The County to stand up to the Gatlin boys. And my heart still turns over in my chest when I he pours out his very soul to that unknown someone who had decorated his life with her love.
Wow - looking back, there were some amazing songs and some interesting life lessons in those lyrics. But oddly enough, what made me think about the songs, the album, and good old Kenny himself today, is The Gambler, because the chorus is stuck in my head...
"You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away, and know when to run...
You never count your money, when you're sittin' at the table,
There'll be time enough for counting, when the dealin's done."
And this is why I suspect those lyrics are on a continual loop in my head. Last week I had a nasty accident that involved a boatload of stupid apples (probably about 40#s in total this trip), a 90-gallon trash receptacle (probably weighing in at around 160#s before the apples were introduced to the mix), and my unfortunate body (more of the face than I care to admit). Long story short, I miscalculated and overloaded the can; when I went to move it, it stopped and my body didn't. The collision was horrific but could have been worse, thank a most awesomely merciful God that I'm reasonably fit. But I guess I'm not so bright, because after I realized that I wasn't dead, in a coma, or in danger of passing out, I got up and kept working and working out hard/over the top/at the same intensity I typically do giving no regard to the trauma my body had been dealt...for another 3 days. My body needed time for rest. It needed time to recover. It needed time to recuperate, but got none of those things from my hard-headed and horrifically stubborn inner athlete. That is until I hit the wall a few days later.
I woke up on Monday and felt every square inch of that incident so very acutely. The bruises seemed angrier, and my face was aching and throbbing. The body had had enough abuse, and the penalty phase had come due!!!!! But what of this great 5-Week Fitness Plan (Dangit, I'm at week 4 and running strong!!!) Well, as I've learned time and time again, give the body what it wants or pay the price. (You'd think I would have not only learned the lesson long ago, but more so to implement that plan without the foolishness and the guilt.) Yep, guilt is and always is the most incredible motivator in my life for good and evil, truth be told. So the lyrics are playing, and I'm "getting" it.
Knowing when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em - that's about having a real reason and not just another excuse. It's the difference between trying (a word I detest) and doing. It's the difference between running on auto-pilot and getting your head in the game and thinking clearly about what is best and safest at the current time on the current day considering all necessary variables in the equation. You're either in or you're out and the choice is rarely by default.
Knowing when to walk away and when to run - that's about taking that necessary step to stop, rethink and regroup based on the circumstances you're encountering. Some days you need to take a few steps back and get a fresh perspective, and some days you need to beat feet to the 30,000 foot view in order to really get clear on what is going on and what can be done to correct the situation.
And finally, not counting your money when you're sittin' at the table, and understanding that there'll be time enough for counting, when the dealin's done - simply means you can't tell if you're gaining or losing ground if you don't take the time to rest and reassess your capabilities. Get up from the metaphorical table, get someplace quiet and get honest. (A whole lot of gettin' involved in this step - for me it included getting my head out of my butt). And since we all know the wellness game is an endurance race, and not a sprint...there really is plenty of time for countin' when the dealin's done.
This isn't about absolutes, it's about having both an action plan and a contingency plan. There will always be something that can come along and sideline your fitness plan(s) and the only way to stay in the race and finish strong for life is to love yourself throughout the entire process. Instead of feeling like I've let myself down because I will probably end up calling week #4 a wash as I finally allow my body the total rest it needs to finish healing, and I will choose to feel good about that. Besides - next week will become Week #4, the program will extend by a week and it's all good. That 30,000 foot view gave me the clarity I would never have gained sitting at the table still "trying" to play the game at a limited capacity.
Now the songs still playing on that perpetual loop, but I feel better understanding the meaning for me. Thanks for letting me work this one out in front of a potential audience of more than one. If it doesn't help you today too, maybe one day it will. It sure did help me get clear and guilt-free today.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
From God's Daily Promises 9/22/2009
This week's promise: God has conquered all our enemies
How well are you running the race?
Remember that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize. You also must run in such a way that you will win. All athletes practice self-control. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step. I am not like a boxer who misses his punches. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what I should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.
1 Corinthians 9:24-27 NLT
Running the Race
As he watched athletes training for and competing in their games, Paul saw an illustration of the struggles and victories of the Christian life. Although our final victory over death through Christ is always assured, we must strive for daily victory over the issues and temptations we face now.
We discipline ourselves, not in order to earn salvation, but to experience the joy and victory God intends for us now!
Look hard at your spiritual life. Are you vigorously participating in the game, barely keeping pace, or merely watching from the stands?
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The most amazing part of this leg of my wellness journey is how closely aligned it has become with my spiritual growth. As I seek to worship, live, and work to the glory of God, I find that I nourish and exercise my body with the same goal in mind. It so totally isn't about Anita and what she can and does accomplish in and of herself, but rather what the faith and trust she has placed in God through the resurrection of Christ empowers her to achieve. Ultimately this truth remains..."I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." ~~Philippians 4:13
With that faith and belief, daily devotionals like this one remind me how acutely the struggle impacts my spiritual and physical nourishment. Neither just happen by chance, and both require a concerted effort to create the habits that build toward success. So today, I can and will ask the question of myself again in this way...
Look hard at your spiritual AND physical life. Are you vigorously participating in the game, barely keeping pace, or merely watching from the stands?
Monday, September 21, 2009
I was at church yesterday talking to one of the pastor's wives before Sunday School started. She was lamenting about the trek to the top of the stairs and how it always leaves her winded and worn out (just one flight, I must confess). Now she isn't a small person, and you notice that primarily because she has got to be at over 6 feet tall (for the record, I'm 5'11"). Since she's probably only a few years younger than me, her comment came as a bit of a shock. The follow-up comment actually made me chuckle quietly to myself. I think she said something along the lines of, "I get mad at myself because it's not like it would take more than a few days a week walking to correct that situation." I'm not even certain how I responded since she has no clue how much I exercise or how healthy my overall lifestyle is beyond the physical aspects of seeing me once a week.
Again, not sure where my head was as I engaged in this conversation, but I was immediately snatched back into reality when she said, "I thought you use to be an athlete." WOW!!!! Seriously????? That was AWESOME because it was so far from the truth. I have NEVER been anything resembling athletic...until now. It was so crazy to have someone gauge my life based solely on who and what I am now and make such a healthy presumption of where I have been and the road I have traveled. Because I still have a skewed body image some days, I expect people to see me as a big girl...not necessarily still fat, but without seeing me workout, just your average run of the mill reasonably healthy, larger than average 41 year old woman. Dayna can't even begin to understand the amazing impact of that compliment. Considering where I started from and where I am today...I would never have thought anyone would think there was an athletic bone in my body.
So I'm thinking athleticism actually snuck up on me. The gene was hidden under so many rolls of fat and years of inactivity, that I didn't even know it existed. And not only do I thank God for giving me that hidden gene, I thank Him even more for revealing it to me slowly and unmistakeably so that I can't write it off as a fluke. As I praise my God from whom all blessings flow, today I can add the blessing of my inner athletic gene that has created the physical Anita who exists today. 
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Not sure which motto I'm rolling with today. This has been a week to and from the edge of purgatory, and I'm still standing. Never really caught my true vibe this week, so I reverted back to the old adage that saw me through many a day way back when..."fake it 'til you make it". Between the mental fatigue, the malaise, and the tussle with the trashcan I mentioned yesterday, I felt like I was inside somebody else's body...and it STUNK!!!!!!!!!But I persevered, and the exercise brought me through the storm to this side of normal.
With the most appealing shade of purple bruises adorning the left side of my body in a mosaic-like pattern, I persevere. With my swollen face and tender/abused ear, I persevere. With the inevitable aches and soreness that come with that sort of collision on a 40+ yo body, I persevere. AND I STRIVE AND I THRIVE!!!!
My SparkFriend Vickie, says she's totally convinced that I'm part machine, and some days I agree with her. This just happens to be one of those days. I got up bright and early, fueled my system with a jolt of caffeine, and was about 90 minutes into my hike before the aches and pains woke up and caught on to what was going on. After 105 minutes hiking, I came home and tackled an abbreviated circuit workout just so I could check it off of my list for the week.
I feel strong, healthy, and empowered today. Correction...I AM strong, healthy and empowered today!!! And that's a great thing to say!!!
Workout #6 of Week #3 is in the books!!!
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