Thursday, June 27, 2013
I have found it so hard to be motivated lately! The past year, my motivation to work out and eat healthily has gone from 100% to 10%. It is very discouraging. The fact that my motivation is sinking is just another hit to my pride and motivation.
At the beginning of June, I bought my wedding dress. I love the way that it looks and the way that it makes me feel when I am wearing it. I just feel like myself. And I feel beautiful.
When I went wedding dress shopping, I felt amazing. The wedding dress consultant was spectacular - every dress that she pulled for me made me look awesome. I have never, ever felt so beautiful while trying on clothing in my life. People were coming from around the dress shop to see me in these dresses and telling me how great I looked. They told me I was made to wear wedding dresses and that I should model them! While I know it is their job to make people feel great, I truly believed it in that moment. While I am not at my "ideal" weight or size, I can still look and feel fantastic.
I have my dress! I tried it on again this past weekend and made a commitment to myself to get that motivation back. And I am not sure what's stopping me - each time I do work out, I feel so great and wonder why I haven't done it consistently. I miss the feeling so much. It is so much better than that extra half an hour of sleep in the morning or that cheeseburger after work. I need to remember that.
Anyway, this blog was a little bit pointless, but I needed a place to share my thoughts right now. I have set some shorter-term weight loss goals, so that I can work to achieve them more quickly and be better able to direct myself. Phase 1 is losing at least 6 pounds by the beginning of August - wish me luck!
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Only have a couple of minutes before I have to get my butt out the door for work!
Just wanted to comment on how the last few days have gone. Worked out a couple of times, small workouts. It's tough because my foot and neck are still a little bit sore from my car accident. Hopefully gonna call and book some physio for next week. My injuries are pretty minor, I just need to deal with them now before they get worse/aggravated and then become an ongoing issue.
But even with the smaller couple of workouts, I am already starting to FEEL so much better! Also eating more lightly just makes me feel so much less gross and bloated. Tracking my food again has really helped remind me how much I can eat if I get on a roll sometimes.. especially at nighttime, especially if I work a night shift. It's crazy how just a couple of days of healthier habits makes me feel lighter, skinnier, better.. even though I haven't lost any weight, I feel like I have!
Tonight I am going to try warm yoga. I have gone a few times before, and absolutely love it. I think it may be a good workout to try to get back into things, since it's not very hard on the joints and such. We will see how it goes. Going with a couple of friends from my class - it's weird, cause we were never friends during school, but we have bonded a lot more now that we are working in the same city! Anyways, excited for yoga - and BBQ chicken breast tonight! Yayyy summer!
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
So, here I am. Looks like I haven't had a blog entry since 2010. Now, here I am in 2013!
Things have been going awesome in so many ways. Got a career going for real now. Finished school. Building a house. Found the love of my life. We are getting married next year! So many things are going so well in my young life. I am so lucky and thankful for all of it.
Unfortunately, I have a fiance with very different food needs than I do. You see, my fiance has Crohn's disease. It is a constant struggle for him to maintain his weight and almost impossible for him to gain weight. He needs a higher calorie diet. He can't eat high fiber foods too often, since it really makes his symptoms worse when he eats too many veggies, whole wheat foods, etc. Total opposite of me - I have to try to be consistent with smaller portions, lower calorie options, higher fiber foods, lots of fruits and vegetables - or the weight comes on with a vengeance. This has been causing some problems for me ever since we moved in together about a year ago.
Although, I can't blame this all on him. I have gained back about 25-30 pounds, and I am not proud of it. It is definitely more difficult with my fiance's foods around, but that's not the only problem. I am giving into my temptations and eating along with him, even when I don't have to. I have also become much less active within the last year - even though I know so much better! I think it honestly contributes even more than the food issues. At least when I had bad days with food, I could have been burning off extra calories. That has not been happening. Since I did a half marathon in June of 2012, my activity level has steadily dropped off.
There are a few reasons this needs to change.
The other day, I got into a car accident. I was mostly okay, no major injuries. Just some soreness and stiffness left over and some bumps and bruises. But my car was pretty wrecked. It really opened my eyes. I could have been seriously hurt. Even a slightly more major injury could have impeded my ability to walk for a short time, impeded my ability to run and exercise and go outside. It could have been so much worse. It really makes you realize how much you take for granted. Something I didn't even see coming could have changed my life drastically. This was a motivation that I needed. I need to start becoming accountable to myself and using the body that I have been given. And take care of the body that I have been given.
Another major motivator is a big one for the ladies - I am getting married in a year! More than a specific goal weight, I want to feel the fittest and healthiest I have ever felt on that day. That is my major goal for my wedding day, much more than a number on a scale.
Here is what I have planned so far. This year, I want to complete 3-4 races that are 5KM, and get faster with each race. That's my first goal. With this, I want to continue to do lots of strength training, at least 3-4 times per week. I have some supplies at home now to help me to do this. I also started going to yoga classes, which I LOVE. I am going to continue going to yoga classes at least once a week, whenever my schedule allows. During the winter, I want to continue building up my endurance. Next spring, I want to start doing 10KM races. Again, I want to do a few before my wedding date (July 26, 2014), and get faster with each race!
I need to become accountable again, so I hope to increase my activity on sparkpeople again. The whole website was such a great motivator and tool for me last time. It was also a great way to meet people who encouraged me so much. I know I can do it, because I have done it before. I can't wait to do it again. Feeling healthy and being active and eating right makes me feel so much more like myself. I have noticed so much difference with each pound gained - I am more tired, more grouchy, more difficult, than I have ever been. I know the reason why. And I know how to fix it. It's time to start again.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Let me tell you, I am not a happy girl on Sunday evening, or Monday, or even Tuesday for that matter. Not really. Why? Because it's the longest time before I see my boyfriend again. He still lives in the city where I go to university, whereas I move home for the summer. It's so hard. We see each other pretty much every weekend, but it's still hard being so far apart. It seems like even when we spend the whole weekend together, it's not enough. It's crazy. I guess you can't help but want to spend more time with somebody who you have been through so much with.. and who you quite frequently discuss marriage and children with.. I am the luckiest girl in the world because I have him.
But, thankfully, today is Thursday, so I'm already starting to look forward to the weekend! Tomorrow I am off to visit him after work, staying in the city for the whole weekend. It should be fun. I am renting a car for the first time - which is a bit nerve-wracking - but I am excited to drive something new that actually has air conditioning, haha. And we are going for sushi on Friday night. Saturday should be great too, because I am FINALLY getting my hair cut (probably due about a month ago) and then I am getting an hour full body relaxation massage. I am so excited about that. I have never had a professional massage before, and I have a feeling that I have definitely been missing out.
Also, I only have two more days at my current job! After that, I am moving to a different pharmacy, except this time as an intern. So I don't get paid anymore. Boo. I am applying for loans this week, too. Gah, money matters. They are such a drag and it actually scares me a little how in debt I will be upon graduation. But, what can I do. Hopefully I can settle that debt quickly!
Anyways, going to eat my peanut butter toast for breakfast, then I am off to work! Hope everybody else has a wonderful Thursday!
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