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Our Long Night's Journey With Alzheimer

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Now that I've went through yesterday I can now speak and share more openly about this journey knowing that there are far more of you who have walked this journey and can relate to me.



While we cannot tell you the exact day or even the month, sometime in 2012 we began to notice a degree of changes in mom. Simple and routine tasks were becoming frustrating and burdensome. The symptoms persisted and soon the memory issue raised its head. At first it was sporadic, however it began to progress. Eventually it has become a chronic situation that has now visibly affected her personally.

About a year and a half later the repetitiveness began to emerge, first it was slight, but it has also progressed and eventually it too has became the norm.
Initially her doctor was of the opinion that it was stress related We on the other hand were thinking the possibility of dementia, an affliction that I knew a lot about since working with it for a good 25 years was beginning to be more and more the probability.

On several occasions there was private and quiet conversations wherein we would ask; “Dad what are we going to do?” The only answer we had was our commitment to take care of mom as best we could for the rest of her life. After almost 2 years the symptoms have not abated but rather they arre now in a rapidly progressing mode. We discussed the issues and decided to get her tested. This was not an easy decision for her or our father to accept.

This has began a whole new life for us. It has been a frenzied period. She was examined, tested, re-evaluated by her doctors. She underwent every possible test, re-test, diagnostic procedures We were in a series of doctor’s offices, clinic and testing labs. Finally after what seemed like an incessant barrage of tests, doctors and evaluations her doctors broke the news. While a definitive diagnosis was impossible, the suspected culprit was mixed Aggressive Alzheimer’s.
Immediately those closest have had to and to transition their lifestyle, taking over the cooking, grocery shopping, appointments on a full time basis. It had been gradually heading that way but it became an instantaneous full transition to a transfer of those responsibilities. Being from such a distance the remaining daughters are in full support in mind body and spirit. We are all on board with this.

The first week in Sept I myself flew home and spent a tireless week of care-giving and relief. And now as I sit back and think about the impact of the visit, our mother’s sorrow and our new reality let alone our likely evolution at the hands of this insidious disease, an intuitive reaction triggered within me. We were not going to take this lying down and we are going to fight whoever, whatever, wherever to find a way to overcome this challenge.
And so it is we have now begun notifying family, friends and neighbors and raising awareness. The reactions have varied from outright denial to condolences to offers of help and assistance.
For this, the latter we are so truly & gratefully thankful

However, there remains one request. A most deepest of a mother's desire and that is to return home one last time to her childhood Kenora. In this her five daughters are stepping up and doing everything in our combined powers to make this a reality. There is no doubt in any of our minds that this will in fact be her last request before her memory is completely affected by the Alzheimer.



PLEASE FOLLOW
https://www.facebook.com/notes/this-
little-light-of-mine-im-going-to-let-i
t-shine/its-a-long-goodbye/839671839390004


And thank you from the deepest bottom of my heart!


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUKEBOX2 9/22/2014 4:50PM

    My thoughts and prayers are with you my friend!


Ray

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CAMEY13 9/22/2014 4:13PM

    All I can say is I hope people send money to that cause so you can get the mobil van to take her there, where she can not fly.

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RORYLYONS 9/22/2014 1:51AM

    emoticon My thoughts & prayers go out to you and your family....

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LMMIMI 9/21/2014 11:16PM

    Prayers for all! emoticon

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CMFARRELL36 9/21/2014 7:35PM

    I feel for you.
We've been through it with my dear father-in-law.
And we're there again with mother-in-law. Hubby takes the most stress with his Mum - and I take the stress from him.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, your Mum, your family, and care givers.

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1CRAZYDOG 9/21/2014 3:44PM

    All I can tell you is that I would move heaven and earth to make a request of Mom's happen.

((((HUGS)))) You are NOT alone. Not by a long shot. And that in itself is sad, because that means many others affected by this disease as well.



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LINDA! 9/21/2014 3:29PM

    emoticon

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PHOENIX1949 9/21/2014 3:12PM

    Here's a song written and sung by a favorite folk artist of mine as a tribute to her mother who suffered with Alzheimer's.

"Long Goodbye' by Amy Carol Webb

http://www.youtube.com/
watch?v=46sOaT8B3gE


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PHOENIX1949 9/21/2014 3:09PM

    emoticon

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AUNTALICE2 9/21/2014 1:31PM

    It is a sad situation, but you have my prayers. emoticon

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It's A Long Goodbye

Saturday, September 20, 2014




It's A Long Goodbye

She's leaving me, little by little, I wish she wouldn't go.
I will be there as long as she needs me. How do I let her know?
I'd like to hold on to the memories, I'd also like to share.
But she's further away, getting further away. And yet, she's always there.

It's a long good-bye, and yet I believe that she can sense us.
So much time between now and then, when it's time against us.
There are times she almost seems like herself.
Sometimes it's just a phase. A part of the person I once knew,
and sometimes just a trace.

It's a long good-bye and still I don't know just what to say.
There's so much time between now and then,
because she goes away, a long good-bye.
Tell me how do all the others do it?
There's so much time between now and then.
How do we get through it? It's a long good-bye.
~Author unknown

Long story short I've had a meltdown!
I see it everyday, our seniors lonely, sad, confused and surrounded by a world that has become so calloused to their needs. These dear souls have given so much and when they come to the time in their life when they need... the barrel of ‪#‎compassion‬ is empty. I was a ‪‎caregiver‬ for 25 years and I loved my job! When I held their hand I could feel the weariness of their years of toil and labour. When I kissed their weathered cheek I could feel the road maps of their life's journey. When I lend an ear to their little tales of past I look into the window of their soul and see one of God's master pieces. Seniors are beautiful delicate orchards in our Master bouquet ~ let us not forget to care for them with love and compassion, so their beauty can be shared by all. God bless our seniors.

I know not many of you are aware, but my mother was recently diagnosed with mixed Aggressive Alzheimer. So that's where I've been. Home in Ontario working with and assessing and supporting family.
Even with 25 years experience it's the hardest most difficult thing to accept and deal with when your own mother falls victim to this debilitating disease.

There have already been changes and there will continue to be changes until our beloved mother is completely lost to her family and herself. That is why time is of the utmost essence that we fulfill what could very well be her last wish while her mind is still with us to the degree that it is.
Because there is no way even with five daughters could we all pull together to come up with that kind of cash We've also created the gofundme/ pg "One Last Trip Down Memory Lane" to fulfill that last heart's desire. It's been over 30 yrs since she has been home. And now she is not asking she is pleading with us to help her make that journey.
So far we've gotten 545.00 but it's been quiet for three days now.
That is why since this thing started with mom I haven't been here.

And until today I thought I was handling it alright. And then I lost contact with home because my Macbook Pro "died" won't complete it's boot up. It starts and goes about a third of the way and then shuts down, So no Ichat with dad!

My cell phone completely died It said the sim card was unregistered. I called them to find out what the heck was going on and they tried telling me that the sim card I was running in the phone I had it in wasn't compatible. After using it for almost a year?! So I went to Wal-mart bought a specific Koodo phone Couldn't use it because I didn't have a prepaid account Mine was monthly So I ordered the same phone online and got it free. Returned the 124$ one to Wal mart. So now I had a phone, Still without my laptop though so now I'm using this beat up ole PC that its slower than snail pace and frustrating to say the least.


So it's just one thing after another, especially being disconnected from my world!

But dealing with that and everything else just got to be far too overwhelming for me today and I broke.

I'm back to being me again. I won't be here though Not for awhile. I need to be totally focused on mom and work right now.

Missing you all!


If you want to follow me follow my facebook pg. https://www.facebook.com/MG.Jaraway or https://twitter.com/gayle_peters

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAMEY13 9/22/2014 4:07PM

    Sent it today. Let me know when you get it. Hope people send money to help you make her wish come true before she can not longer rememember. So sad. I think you look a lot like her. She is a pretty woman. Prayers also help and I know many are on their way to her. Glad I called to talk to you last night and that it helped some. You will be missed by all but now is the time you need to be with her as much as you can.
I went through it with my dad but he died before he lost his memory completely so I did not have to endure the sadness that comes with a loss of memory or a loved parent. Will keep in touch. Hang in there.

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GOOZLEBEAR 9/21/2014 7:32PM

    I'm so sorry about your Mom, hope you get to spend as much time as you can with her.

Sending hugs your way. emoticon

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NOLAHORSERIDER 9/21/2014 6:04PM

    I worked for a nursing home for 6 or 7 years as an LPN. Prior to that I worked for Haven Hospice for 7 years. It's just sad to see the residents declining and it is never easy to watch. I also watched my mother get more and more demented. She thought I was her first child from her first marriage and she totally disliked me! That was probably the hardest thing to deal with. I will keep you in my prayers as you care for your family!

Hugs to you sweetie. Know that with His Grace things will be OK!



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THINANDFITEMILY 9/21/2014 12:17PM

    You are completely right and will not regret that time spent at all!. MY Mother had alzheimers and it was worse when my 4 kids were little so it was hard to find the time but did the best I could-I am sorry- emoticon

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ELIZACG9 9/21/2014 10:06AM

    I am so sorry, My Mom is 92 and, I know she took care of you now it is your turn..
God help you and bless you.....
your so kind and, take care of yourself too..



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MISSM66 9/21/2014 9:30AM

    Oh I am so sorry to hear of your Mom, I was a care giver my self privately first for 15 years, my last patient had Alzheimer and I was like a daughter to her, I have to do everything for her until she pass away,then I start to work with Hospice and work for another 14 years and stop,being a caregiver is very hard especially when the patient is a family member,keep strong and I will keep you and your family in my prayers. emoticon

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MSLZZY 9/21/2014 9:03AM

    You have my deepest sympathy for all you are going through. Do what needs to be done and I pray God will carry you in his loving arms. HUGS!

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DBELLE39 9/21/2014 8:56AM

    Oh I'm so sorry, it's truly heartbreaking to see our loved ones have to face something as what your mother is going through. It affects so many around here. You & your family are in my thoughts & prayers. emoticon

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RASPBERRY56 9/21/2014 7:36AM

    So sorry to hear of your struggles - it's even worse when you can't get technology to behave so you can stay connected when needed! As if it wasn't horrific enough to see your beloved mom lose her ability to connect with loved ones.........such a cruel irony........

Please know that your fellow Sparkies in this wonderful community will be here for you when you feel ready to reach out.........and know that you're not alone in struggling with this horrible condition (my MIL succumbed to this, and it was indeed a terrible thing to see)......

emoticon

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HELEN_BRU 9/21/2014 5:55AM

    It's so sad to have to go through something like this but know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks for all your blogs! emoticon

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GRANJERRY1 9/21/2014 3:25AM

    My DH has dementia & I lost my elder brother to Alzheimers this April & I know how gut wrenching it is to see them slip away a little at a time. My brother who was 96 hrn he died only recognised me in the end but sadly as our mom. In his last couple of months I was always mom to him.... emoticon

My prayers for the Lord to give you courage emoticon


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ELFMAGE7 9/21/2014 2:40AM

    emoticon emoticon

We'll be here. Take care of yourself and your family.

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PHOENIX1949 9/21/2014 12:12AM

    Bless y'all. Been through this with father and his mother and his brother as well as more distant family.

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IGNITEME101 9/20/2014 11:59PM

    Many types of diseases take our parents mind away. Sorry that you are going through this.

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AUNTALICE2 9/20/2014 10:42PM

    Oh my goodness!! That is a very hard thing for a family to handle. My mother had dementia towards the end. It is heartbreaking. My prayers are with your mom and you & your family. Whenever you can I will be here to listen and pray. much love emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 9/20/2014 10:33PM

    Oh my gosh. Honey, you've got more than a lot on your plate. My Mom has Alzheimer's too. All I can say is it is heart breaking.

HUGS sweetie. Know I'm here anytime you want to talk. It's tough. BEYOND tough.

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Those First Important Moments!

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Each morning when we awake, we have an opportunity to create our day with what inspires us the most.


That moment during the day when we very first open our eyes and come into consciousness is a precious opportunity. It sets the tone for all that comes after it. At that moment, our ability to create the day is at its most powerful, and we can offer ourselves fully to the creative process by filling this moment with whatever inspires us most.
It may be that we want to be more generous, or it may be that we want to be more open to beauty in our daily lives. Whatever the case, if we bring this vision into our minds at this very fertile moment, we empower it to be the guiding principle of our day.

Sometimes though, we wake up with a mood already seemingly in place, and is important to give that feeling its due because it can in fact inform us and deepen our awareness to what’s going on inside us, as well as around us. As long as we are conscious, we can honor this feeling and also introduce our new affirmation or vision, our conscious offering to the day. We may also want to decide before we go to sleep what we want to bring to the next day of our lives. It could be that we simply want to be more open to whatever comes our way. Or we may want to summon a particular quality such as confidence. Then again, we may simply call up a feeling that perfectly captures the texture we want our day to have.

We can reaffirm our vision or affirmation as we shower and eat breakfast, as well as recalling it at various times throughout the day. We can write it down and carry it with us on a little slip of paper if this helps. Simply by being aware of those first moments, we set the stage for a more conscious, enlivened experience, and we become active participants in the creation of our lives.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IGNITEME101 9/18/2014 5:24PM

    Yes! This morning I woke up to my 2 year old GD, Ava giving me kisses and cooing lie only a 2 year old can. It was o precious! She came running in to my room~
What a joyful way to wake up!! It set me up for laughing (so far) most of the day too.
Love this reminder to begin positive!


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PHOENIX1949 8/28/2014 12:33AM

    emoticon

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BJHARRIS549 8/28/2014 12:26AM

    emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 8/27/2014 10:55PM

    What a thought provoking blog. I always go daily affirmations in the morning to set the tone for the day to a positive one.

Wonderful!

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A Usual Saturday 'Round here!

Saturday, August 16, 2014

This morning Walt is out on a service call and while he is out I've managed to get the entire house cleaned and a first of two loads of laundry done. I need to slip over town for a few things but it'll have to wait until he gets back because my wallet is in his glove box. LOL Second thought I just might walk down The Forester is at the shop I should be able to get into it and retrieve my wallet.

In the meantime I've burned the calories now to the point of actually feeling hungry so I'm going to go have my yogurt and fruit!
TTFN

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUKEBOX2 9/13/2014 9:11AM

    Excellent! thank you Marion!

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JUKEBOX2 9/10/2014 2:44PM

    Excellent!

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1CRAZYDOG 8/16/2014 4:58PM

    Usual Saturday here, too. But that's good! Ready for a little more relaxed schedule!

Hugs

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NOMORESTALLING 8/16/2014 3:40PM

    I find it to be the same for me too. And I did get pretty much everything done before he showed up LOL And he has to go out again so I'll get the rest of it done now LOL


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AUNTALICE2 8/16/2014 1:47PM

    I am glad you are getting so much done! It feel good to finish chores in the morning and have your afternoon free! Have a really great day! emoticon

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CREPEDCRUSADER 8/16/2014 12:32PM

    I find I get my house clean faster when my husband is out. He and I have very different taste in music so when I am alone I crank my tunes and the next thing I know it's done. Those are awesome days! emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/16/2014 12:49:10 PM

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Not a bad day but with incident I could have done without.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

I had an exceptional day at work. AN entire week actually and today being mid-month pay check I had plans to go off to Stettler and do my grocery and supply run.

Everything was rolling along and then just outside of Stettler I went to tap the clutch to change gears to slow down to the speed zone change and found I had none. It was limp! So we stayed in the gear I was in and used the brake just enough to slow it down without having to shift Worked fine until I ad to come to a stop.
Well, we didn't LOL It was a four way stop and no one in sight including cops So we glided right on through and safely parked.

I made two phone calls One for a tow truck the other home to hubby. Tow truck booked and on its way, hubby on his way for pick up, everything was right again.
Unplanned but no one hurt everyone safe. Took hubby out for his favourite supper for his unplanned trip, slipped into Wal-mart for the things I needed and headed home.

JAK was sitting parked safe and sound in the drive when I got home.

Tomorrow Walt's going to see if he can fix the trouble I'm pretty sure all it is was a hydraulic hose wore out and needs replacing. The hydraulic oil had drained out.

Now I've gotten everything unloaded and put away I think it's time for a drink and some good ole fashioned rest.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NOMORESTALLING 8/16/2014 3:49PM

    You know not so much scary as frustrating. But I've learned long ago to take things in stride. So I do. I deal with it during and emoticon then de-stress after the fact. Calm cool and collect was the order of the day.


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BUTTRFLI26 8/16/2014 2:11PM

    So glad that you had a safe adventure and that it had a happy ending. emoticon

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CREPEDCRUSADER 8/16/2014 12:18PM

    Wow, that's kind of scary! Glad everything is ok and I'm hoping it is just a minor repair.

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NOMORESTALLING 8/16/2014 12:13PM

    Thank you ladies. Appreciate you! Yeah everything is a right as rain again Even the financial upset is taken care of.
emoticon


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1CRAZYDOG 8/16/2014 11:44AM

    Nothing a little drink and rest can't cure, eh! ((SIGH((



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SUSANELAINE1956 8/16/2014 9:46AM

    How scary. Glad you are safe, and hope it's an easy fix.

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AUNTALICE2 8/16/2014 9:17AM

    I am so glad you are safe! I would have been really upset! Hope it is nothing else but the hydraulic oil draining out. emoticon

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HELEN_BRU 8/16/2014 1:34AM

    Wow! Were you ever lucky. I've been to Stettler a few times with my dh when we had our business.

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