Sunday, September 03, 2006
Well, the weekend is definitely harder for me, but I'm tracking and I'm working on getting points!
Those points are like magic incentive to me, lol.
We're having company over any minute...and of course there will be food. I've already eaten something so I won't go overboard....
Lastly, every time I look at my current "model" of myself on this page I want to scream. That's not how i FEEL, but boy it sure is how I LOOK!
Friday, September 01, 2006
So, for the last few months I have weighed once a month. I get sort of obsessed by the numbers on the scale and this works well for me. When I started SparkPeople, I went by my last weigh in, 235 on August 1.
I weighed today, Sept 1...and I weigh 238.
I stood on the scale feeling that wave of emotions....disbelief...discouragement..."
why bother?". I wallowed in self-pity for a minute or two and then pulled myself sharply back in place.
This is only day 6 of SparkPeople. I am still in Stage 1 and while I've been getting a lot more exercise in these six days, I have not curtailed my eating, only for once in my life been totally HONEST about what I've put in my mouth. I had a moment's thought of, "maybe I should gear up and switch to stage 2!!" Then I went and read again about how the stages are broken up...that stage 1 is about small steps...setting yourself up for success...and re-made the committment to finish the 14 days of stage one.
I also made a commitment to myself to start looking at what I'm eating. I dragged out the measuring spoons and measured my sugar and creamer...and I'm quite sure I've been using more than I thought I was. I ate oatmeal for breakfast - you know, the high-fiber low-fat breakfast thing.
While this morning's rude awakening hurt....I feel more aware of what I've been doing in regards to my eating. The exercise part? That is no sweat for me...tho sometimes getting the strength training in is difficult...but I have already almost burned double the suggested 810 cal this week, without much effort past my usual.
It's the food. It's the food that is getting me.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
So this a.m. I made myself do the strength exercises recommended on my Spark page. One of them was the "Body Weight Squats." I whizzed through two sets and curled my lip, thinking "geez, like THAT'S gonna do anything" cause I didn't feel it a bit.
I feel it NOW. My butt is killing me, lol.
It's Thursday...one day closer to the weekend. Long weekend for me...hooray! No money to do anything....boo. Oh well, it's all good, eh? We'll be going to a BBQ put on by friends, I'm looking forward to that. Lot's of dance stuff for me to take care of...so I won't lack for stuff to do..you know, besides the mountains of laundry waiting....
I'm recommending SparkPeople to friends left and right....hoping others will take the plunge and join! I'm more motivated than I've EVER been, I think. So, here's my question for my single listener (yeah I know you're out there Amity....lol) or anyone else who drops by and wants to shout out...
What feature on Spark are you using most consistently? For me, it is the tracking of the food, baby..it's all about the food don't ya know - Ruthlessly tracking everything that goes into my mouth, no matter how "bad" it looks. YOU???
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Well....I'm many things...Mother of four (20, 18, 12 and 10 yo). Partner to Jodie for 14 months and counting. Bellydance enthusiast, including teaching, promoting events, and being director of my own troupe - Sahara's Dream. Self described "craft ho"...I love all things crafty, especially knitting, embellishing costumes, polymer clay...and more.
I've been out for 8 years...I was married 14 years before I figured myself out, What can I say...I'm a late bloomer, lol. In a city where androgenous dykes abound...I firmly identify as femme. Course, can you imagine a butch bellydancing, lol?
I started this journey of weight loss and the search for health because both of my parents are falling apart - both have heart disease, diabetes, and my dad is probably 400 pounds. I don't wanna end up that way! I've tried so many things and have felt like such a failure that I decided to stop trying. But...here I am - I've joined Spark! For the first time ever, I'm being HONEST about what I eat...tracking every single effing bite! I'm in the Fast Break stage 1 arena...and I'm trying to lose my perfectionism along with the weight and unhealthy habits. So...I'm just working on writing down what I eat, no matter how "bad" it looks.
I have hope...maybe the first real hope I've ever had about losing weight. I gained weight when I got married...I was desperately unhappy, but couldn't figure out why...thought I needed to "try harder". Gained 80 more pounds with my first child, 21 years ago...and have been slowly creeping up ever since.
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