NOREGRET2010   49,930
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Busy last weekend of summer

Saturday, September 01, 2012

This weekend I'll be sewing on my daughter's dance costume, finishing prep work for the workshops I'll be teaching next weekend, working on my own routine, getting kids ready for school....etc.

I took yesterday off of walking, and it felt funny. I think I'm addicted. Seriously. Sometimes I hate every step, but....I crave the stress relief it gives me.

I was happy that I passed my 5 mile for the week goal on Thursday. That means that whatever I walk today is all over goal, which makes me happy.

I tried measuring yesterday, and got weird results. Weird, because my belly seems to be an ever-changing roadmap of my health work. I've said before, as I lose weight in the big wheat belly...it drops.

Drops as in sags. I shared all this a while back in my blog "the apple has fallen" or something like that: how when I was at my biggest, I had a smooth rounded belly. Now my belly is...funky looking. More of a B shape than a D shape, and the lower half of the B sags down...and touches the tops of my thighs when I'm not dressed.

Oh, so very sexy.

Yet, I know this is progress. I know that the solid belly of fat is extremely dangerous to my life - a huge precursor of possible heart attack/stroke. So I'm glad to see it go and sort of morbidly fascinated to see my belly evolving as I work on my health.

The measurements change but not always go down. It's just part of the process as the fat loosens it's hold on my life and leaves my body.

I can feel fall in the air and feel nervous....soon it will be dark in the evening, cold and snow. I won't be able to head out to the park for my walk fix. Already pretty sure I'll go back to the parks and rec and walk on the treadmills there - cheapest alternative and not unpleasant. But I'll miss the fitness trails, passing people and smiling and nodding, feeling the breeze or the sun on my face.

But today, I still can. :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOPINTOS 9/1/2012 7:47PM

    Oh geesh, I know what you mean. Things get softer, droopier. Sometimes I think it might even look worse. But I know it is all recomposing, resculpting, and the squishy stuff is getting ready to depart :)

You are doing awesome!!

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Smile and Enjoy the Rest of Your Day!
Melinda (gopintos)
Wheat Belly Team

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BRANDYSDONE32 9/1/2012 3:55PM

    i love how you described things like your walk in this blog i could almost picture it. me on the other hand I cant wait for fall so I can get out and walk more. I love walking in the fall but I also dread the winter.

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SUSIEQ911 9/1/2012 11:39AM

    You're making progress!

Have a wonderful weekend!!

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DMEYER4 9/1/2012 9:36AM

  emoticon

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PENNYPACKER3 9/1/2012 9:32AM

    emoticon

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Picked up, dusted off, tears dried and back on track

Friday, August 31, 2012

Well, I'm glad that's over.

You know, I don't cry. I don't cry because I'm afraid I won't stop. I don't cry for a lot of reasons - most of which are probably not entirely healthy. So, to sit and cry like I did yesterday morning....It was a relief.

I don't wanna do it again, LOL, but it was a relief just the same. I don't think I've cried much at all since my dad died, January 2009. This is definitely the most I've cried since then...and there's been a lot of stress in between that time.

So...it probably needed to happen. Like teeth cleanings, car maintanace, etc.

This a.m., I'm back on the "glass is at least half full!" track. Hope is revived and I'm able to put one foot in front of the other again. I've already passed my walk 5 mile goal this week, for which I'm very pleased. Food has been hit and miss, but good by previous standards.

Ready to kick August to the curb...Welcome September, welcome changing seasons.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRANDYSDONE32 9/1/2012 3:40PM

    yes I agree sometimes crying for a long time is good it will help flush out your soul. you should definatley do it more often.lol emoticon

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KATCHAGIRL 8/31/2012 12:12PM

    YAY!! :)

Yeah... I agree that sometimes, you just HAVE to bawl it out. I, like you, don't cry very often either and when I do, I ALWAYS feel better a day or so later. It's an important part of life and I'm glad you were able to get it out!

Have a WONDERFUL Labor Day weekend!

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TERRYT55 8/31/2012 12:10PM

    Happy your glass is half full again! Good for you for making your five mile goal this week.......

I'm welcoming September as well. Fall is my favorite time of year!

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TEAM-ERIC 8/31/2012 10:57AM

    Like it or not sometimes a good cry it just what we need to get a fresh perspective! And you know what they say about a glass that's half full...maybe you need a smaller glass! LOL

Have a great day! Be catching up with you later!

Diana

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DOTTIESPLACE 8/31/2012 10:37AM

    Crying is a good thing, lets out all those hormones. I'm glad you're feeling better. Take excellent care of yourself today and tomorrow and the next day and....
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SUSIEQ911 8/31/2012 10:16AM

    emoticon SEE look half full!

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IAMFRANSGIRL 8/31/2012 8:58AM

    I always thought that the same thing about crying,eventually I found I could stop whenever I was through emoticon Sometimes it was short and sweet and sometimes It would last hours but I always felt much better for it.
It seems you do too.
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Yay for hitting your walking goal! emoticon

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GOPINTOS 8/31/2012 8:54AM

    I was a bit behind on blogs, so I read yesterday and today, and so glad the glass is half full today :) I try to see mine that way also, even though it is tough sometimes. Sending good vibes your way!! emoticon

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FATBASTICH 8/31/2012 8:47AM

    Sometimes you just have to let those emotions wash over you in order to let them go. You've got a great attitude though - keep moving forward!

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EGALITAIRE 8/31/2012 8:46AM

    Yay - sounds like overall August was a decent month, something to build on for September

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Blue

Thursday, August 30, 2012

You know, it's just been one thing after another. In the last 2 weeks or so,

Jodie's car threw a rod through the engine.
Our laptop died, which she really needs for school.
I had to replace two tires on my car and had to get some repair work done when it was taken for alignment all of which I didn't have money for.

and last night, I fried my phone.

It got a little damp and the touchscreen won't work. I tried the bag of rice trick over night, no change. I'll take it into the sprint store today, but I'm not feeling optimistic. No insurance on it, and even if I did, they don't cover water damage.

I really, really liked that phone. Nicest I've ever had, worth about $500 which I got ONLY because I changed to Sprint and got it for free. I can't upgrade for a year. Obviously, with Jodie not working and our lives a painful penny pinching mess, I can't replace it.

I'm pretty sick about it. In fact, I cried. Cried because of the stress. Cried because it's ONE MORE THING. Cried because I really enjoyed it and I broke it.
Cried because Jodie and I have been fighting like cats and dogs because of money and stress. Cried because Jodie hasn't gotten a call for an interview on that job and we needed it so much. Cried because child support hasn't come in three months and I'm trying to support these kids that are not just mine, but his responsibility too...yet again and again, he skates away and I'm left holding the financial bag.

I'm tired of being a grown up. I'm tired of trying to be positive and upbeat. Tired, blue, and crying.

And to cap it all? I got up, made coffee and someone had used up all the creamer and not bothered to tell me. I'm telling you, it was all I could do not to fly into a rage over coffee creamer this a.m...but it's not really about that, it's about everything else.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRYT55 8/31/2012 12:07PM

    Oh, Lisa.......some days, weeks, months it seems better to just not get out of bed! But you do........no matter what. I'm sending good thoughts your way.

Take care, my friend, and know this will pass.

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KATCHAGIRL 8/30/2012 12:10PM

    OHHH... :( I'm so sorry for all that stress you're having to deal with!! :(

I know that it's a bit "cliche", but God never gives you more than you can handle, so STAY STRONG through this! I believe that there IS a reason for everything that happens in our lives... we may not be able to see the reason why, today, tomorrow or even ever in this lifetime in some cases, but I truly believe that there is a reason and that helps to keep me strong through tough times.

HANG IN THERE! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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SUSIEQ911 8/30/2012 10:16AM

    Hang in there! It will get better.

Find the little positives in your day and be grateful for them. You will start seeing the good and feel a little better.

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EGALITAIRE 8/30/2012 8:37AM

    Very stressful when things start to pile up like that - just when it seems like it can't get any worse - it gets worse.

I resonate with your comment at the end - it is often not about what it looks like it is about. We pile stress on top of stress.

Hope you find some strategies for the money situation - money stress is very pervasive.

While your riding out the financial storm, I encourage you to think about working on your inner game. I found dealing with my emotional responses to situations made my life easier - may not change your finances, but might help you feel more settle and better able to stand up and be productive in those situations.

Stay Strong

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A new week - new goals

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Last week was probably the most successful I've had on Spark in a LONG TIME. I haven't weighed, that's not the success. The success was the consistency, the motivation, the tracking. SparkCoach is really doing that for me - helping me be much more consistent than I've been in ....um....years. I'm happy for those who say "well it's all the same things you get for free on spark people, why pay for it?" Yes, the components are the same, but something about it is keeping me going. It's a routine, a morning ritual for me, for one. That is a huge piece of the puzzle. Perhaps I feel more inclined to be "on it" since I'm paying for it (99 cents this month - but it's still the concept of paying). I dunno, but it's working and I'm all over what ever works!

Last week I walked 7.48 miles - however, some of that was guesswork since the fitness map feature didn't show any of the trails I was on and I suspect it was closer t 5.5 or 6 miles than 7.48. At any rate, I was out there, i was doing it, and that counts! Now that I've discovered the MyTracks app, I'll know exactly how far I walked, woo!

The last couple weeks have been .... extremely hard. On top of a very tight budget, our laptop died, one of our cars threw a rod through the engine, and the financial stress had my partner and I at each others throats. it was not pretty. Not pretty at all. We can't afford to fix the laptop, which she uses for school or the car. She's up for a job and passed the first cut, but hasn't had a call for an interview and is spiraling downward. It's hard after years of trying to get a job and just not making it.

I have had many moments of wanting to stuff the worry, anger and depression away with food. I've had multiple conversations with myself, wanting candy, baked goods and fried foods or to just stuff myself with whatever was available.

And I haven't done it. I've allowed myself a treat almost every day - a small mcdonald's ice cream cone. Yep, about 200 calories, but in the face of what I COULD have done? that's nothing, baby.

When my partner and I fought, instead of shoving food in my mouth I laced up my shoes and I went for a walk.

So, in the face of a really crappy week which has been part of a pretty sucky August, I feel pretty darn successful. I know I'm depressed and I know it's situational, and I'm working on remaining as positive as I can. Things will shift eventually. She will get a job. Things will stop breaking down.

Sooner or later, right? Right. And in the meantime, I can focus my stress on building my health.

New goals for a new week:
Walk 5 miles - actual miles not guessed miles
Keep on the Spark Coach program 7 days including tracking all my food.
Breathe, take care of myself, and try to look on the bright side.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEAM-ERIC 8/26/2012 5:44PM

    1 ice cream cone from McDonalds? Great job! I'm been wanting to hit Baskin-Robbins climb over that glass case and just dive head first into the the first lucky flavor and work my way through the other 30! I haven't because, well the thought of the surveillance tape showing up the news and the sight of my backside going over that case going viral isn't what I want to be remembered for!

I so know what it's like when the two of you need to talk but emotions won't allow it and it turns to arguing. He took up running a few months ago. I took up walking and bouncing on the mini tramp. We are still avoiding talking about our issues, for fear of arguing, so I've turned to writing emails I don't send. May be I will one of these days..if we can't get to where we can talk. In the meantime, it does allow me to get it out. And we are becoming more comfortable around each other. I don't know we are doing it right, but we are both committed to working toward our future.

Kudos on keeping up with walking! I'm sure you'll get your 5 miles in this week. The last line of your blog made me think of a Monty Python song. Here's a link to it!

http://www.youtube.com/w
atch?v=JrdEMERq8MA&feature=fvwr
el

Have a great week!

Diana

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Reality VS What I Think

Friday, August 24, 2012

So, I've been walking in this awesome local park, Pine Nursery. It has soccer fields, a fishing pond, dog parks and fitness trails. The main paved trail is 1.3 miles.

Timing wise, I kept ending up there too close to dark to walk the entire loop - I was afraid to end up out in the dark in the brush! So I took some of the unpaved trails to "make up" the distance.

or so I thought.

Last night, I got out there in time to walk the real 1.3 mile loop. I definitely wasn't as close to getting the full 1.3 mi in as I thought.

That means, for one, I haven't been burning as many calories as I thought OR getting the distance in that I thought I was getting.

Deflated my balloon a bit when I figured that out. Mind you, it's all good. i walked, I did something. Burned way more calories than sitting on my heinie watching tv, eh?

I thought a bit about trying a pedometer - but those have never worked well for me. Either it doesn't track enough steps or it tracks steps that aren't there. My theory on that is where my waistband settles is not conducive to tracking well. I thought about spendy options, like a cool garmin thingy like a couple of friends have, but that is too spendy for my life. So I started looking at apps on my phone and came across My Tracks from Google.

My Tracks will calculate my distance and time, that's really all I'm after. No it won't track my heart rate like a cool spendy gadget will, but if I want to track my heart rate I can use the old-timey method of my fingers to my jugular, LOL. Since I just figured out how to use Google Play on my phone as well, I could now leave the ipod at home and use my phone for both my MP3 player AND a distance/timer tracker. For Free.

Free is the operative word here. Disneyland trip Oct 3 is quickly approaching where my partner and I will hit the Happiest Place On Earth with about a million other folks for Gay Days Anaheim. So pennies are being saved scrupulously for the trip.

Not to mention.....partner's car threw a rod last weekend. Yep, threw it right through the engine. For about $3K, we can fix it.

needless to mention I don't have $3k. The Disneyland trip, as an aside, was prepaid in January when a sudden windfall came. So it's already paid for, otherwise .....

Jodie is in the second round of hiring for a job she really wants and we really, really need. Really need. Can't emphasize that enough. Only one of us working is not cutting it.

Eh, I'm rambling. Have an AWESOME FRIDAY!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EGALITAIRE 8/24/2012 10:49AM

    Like the attitude about the walking - what you did was not as much as you thought but better than what it could have been.

What's most important is not where you have been, but where you are going.

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TEAM-ERIC 8/24/2012 9:45AM

    Once you get past the learning curve....don't you just love the convenience of all the technology a smart phone offers? And for me....most of the time I'm navigating a tight S curve on that phone! My husband using a distance and time tracker app. Sounds like you may be using the same one and he loves it. I walk city streets so I pre-plan the route using the map your route found here. I use a stop watch app to to time it and of course listen to downloaded music as I walk. Walking the streets I use only one ear bud so I can remain aware of my surroundings.

I sincerely hope Jodie makes the cut and gets the job. And you somehow find a way to fix the car without spending a small fortune.
Sounds like the Disney Trip will be a welcome break from the ordinary! Enjoy!!

Hang in there and keep up the good work with your walking!

Diana

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GODDREAMDIVA1 8/24/2012 9:14AM

    Thanks for sharing...have a great day and a wonderful weekend. emoticon

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