Monday, September 24, 2012
CPAP streak: 13 days
Weekend's over, back to work!
Eight days till Disneyland!
I got nervous last night, and researched weight limits for rides. Whew. All I read, from people a good 50-100 pounds heavier than me - said they all fit, with one exception due to their particular body style. That was reassuring. Not that I'm a huge rollercoaster fan, LOL. Not so much. But if I want to go on a ride and I can't because of my weight, it would be better to know about it than to wait in line and then be humiliated by not fitting!
Last week at work we were short one person all week due to a vacation and it was hard to keep up - so this week looks like a piece of cake since we'll be fully staffed.
Funny how something so simple can make me happy. Which leads to....gratitude. Definitely been working the gratitude factor. Grateful for a job, and a very good one at that in this economy. Grateful we at least have one car - and who cares it's a dinged up lil Mazda from the 80s? Grateful my kids are all well and relatively happy, LOL. Grateful to be loved and have someone to love.
Grateful to be on the "right side of the grass" and having another day to work on getting it right....
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Woke up to rain, but this is GOOD - we've had a couple of huge forest fires burning for over a week close by. Hopefully it will knock down the fire...and I know it will help knock the smoke out of the air, air quality has been baaaad.
CPAP streak: 12 days, and another 7+ hour sleep last night, woo hoo.
I've actually been back on the CPAP wagon about three weeks, but I'd miss a night here and there - just having a hard time making myself put on the darn mask. So that's where the streak comes in.
Busy week ahead...and NINE days till Disneyland! The only nagging concern I have about the trip is the airplane ride. After my trip in November on a tiny plane where I felt overflowing in the seat (and my seatmate was rude as all get out)...it makes me a little anxious. However, I remind myself I have my partner as my seatmate on the small plane and on the big plane let's hope there's just a bit more room! I'm a little nervous about the rides at Disneyland, will I fit? But overall I'm trying to just look forward to it and not stress out.
My partner is FINALLY getting over the shingles. May I say, I don't wish that on my worst enemy. So very painful.
That's it for today....
Saturday, September 22, 2012
CPAP Streak: 11 days (and last night for the first night in literally months, I slept over 6 hours - 7.25!)
I looked at my weight goal report this a.m., and decided to reset it.
According to my previous goal - I would have to be at 236 right now to be on track. Needless to say, I'm not. I'm at 248 - that's 12 pounds behind and it's not motivating me, it's discouraging me so...I reset.
When I look at my reports, I'm constantly gaining and losing the same five to seven pounds. Literally, the SAME five to seven pounds.
I need to have a goal...some kind of goal....and I considered that getting to and staying at 240 has been impossible the last year, much less getting UNDER it?
So..I made the simplest goal I could - to get to 240. Yep, that's "only" 8 pounds. But it's past the 242 mark, which is the lowest I've been able to get to - and was only at a day or two before it comes up again.
I look at what I've accomplished this summer and I've done well. I've added a LOT of fitness into my week, I've made some good food changes, and I've started using my CPAP nightly. My body has changed, I've lost a good six inches.
And my weight has stayed within that same 247-254 range.
Maybe what's needed here is a small goal - eight pounds - something so close I can almost taste it, rather than something so far away I can't imagine it. So....we shall see what we shall see.
Last night was troupe night, and I had been so worried I wouldn't get the same workout as my walk. Wow. No worry. I was literally soaked in sweat - my hair was drenched, my clothes were damp, I had sweat running down my face.
The other thing I've noticed recently? A SIGNIFICANT decrease in appetite over the last two weeks. Coincidentally to my using the CPAP? i dunno. But enough that my partner has been looking at me suspiciously and saying "you aren't eating all your food...are you trying to starve yourself?"
LOL. nope. Just getting full really fast lately - well, really fast compared to "usual".
TEN DAYS TILL DISNEYLAND!
Friday, September 21, 2012
Since I worked 6 days last week, this week has seemed very loooong. Glad for it to come to a close.
CPAP Streak: 10 days
Countdown to Disneyland: 11 days
As discussed earlier: Dance is ramping back up again to 3-4 nights a week, it's getting dark much earlier and my walking time is being compromised. Still feel anxious about that. This week, due to intense smoke from forest fires in the area, I couldn't walk two of the nights I planned on - I did other stuff, but it's not the same. So my minutes/cal burn are down. No likey. But, it is what it is. I have a 2 hour class tonight and since it's been about 8 weeks since I've done anything like that, I know I'll be sweating my butt off, lol.
Weigh in - keep forgetting to mention that. Last week, when I returned from my long weekend, I was having a lot of water retention and the scale said I'd gained five pounds - I knew it wasn't "fat" and decided to let it roll off me and not stress. Yep, sure enough when I got on the scale this week, that five was gone and so were the two that had come back on previously, so I'm back down to 248. Whew. Change is good, but not in that direction!
Thursday, September 20, 2012
CPAP streak: 9 days
Yesterday was my appointment with my sleep doc. He's a nice man, don't know why I was so anxious about it.
What came out of the appointment:
1. It's been 7 years since my sleep study, and since I was non-compliant for 6.5 of those years, he has no idea where I "am". Is the pressure of 8 still good for me? Could we go lower? Do we need to go higher? So....another sleep study. If my insurance balks this will be an issue. Sigh.
2. I've gained 25 pounds since I saw him 6.5 years ago.
3. I have an appointment to get fitted for a new mask on Friday. He said there have been a lot of new masks come out in the 6 years since I got mine. Again, pretty sure the insurance isn't going to pay for it (haven't met my deductible). But, it needs to be done so..... yeah.
the issue is definitely quality of life here. I have to take a nap pretty much every day. I'm tired .... all the time. I do best on 7-8 hours of sleep a night, and for years I have gotten 6 if I'm lucky. So, I'm glad I went. I'm not looking forward to the sleep study, appointments with respiratory therapist etc, and when I think about the $$ it makes me a little nauseous. Yep, I have insurance but historically my part of it is always more than I can afford.
But...what price do we put on health?
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