NOREGRET2010   49,930
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Monday, Monday....

Monday, November 26, 2007

Ow. You know, that resistance band video seems so easy...but boy can I feel it the next day.

Keeping myself accountable, what have I done over the weekend on my quest to make the last few days of 2007 COUNT:
Saturday - Resistance band video, 20+ minutes going over the combos on the new bellydance video again and again and .... again...trying to get them right.
Sunday - 20+ minutes working on a different video, teaching 3 hours of dance class.

Joined the Just Do It team....made just for me I think, lol, to help be accountable every day....especially while waiting for the next LC challenge to come around. I feel like I wasn't as involved in the last one....being sick sort of took the wind outta my sails....

Really working on DOING it rather than just thinking about it...and being content to start where I am...It's so easy to get tangled up in where I THINK I should be...starting right here is good enough. Period.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEEBERRI 11/26/2007 10:28PM

    I also have a hard time with being motivated,..maybe I need to join that group too! hehe thanks for your welcomeeeeeeee,..*hugs* ~Dee

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READYCANADIAN 11/26/2007 10:19AM

    I look forward to your (daily) blogs...they speak to me. And motivate me. I'd be interested in knowing what the name of the resistance band DVD is.... :o)

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Making the most of the end of the year

Friday, November 23, 2007

There are 38 days left of 2007. I COULD beat myself up over all the things I didn't accomplish...or I could make the most of every day left, and that's what I'm going to do!

I can do ANYTHING for 38 days, right???? Right!

Here goes the list...what I get done, I get done, what I don't, there's always next year!

1. Take better care of my skin. I focus so much on my weight, that I often neglet taking basic care of stuff like this...and then I look in the mirror and wonder where that "old looking" lady came from!
2. Establish better routines with my meds...I feel better, I function better. Nuff said.
3. Work on building more cardio into my day, so I can increase my stamina for dancing. be specific...20 minutes of cardio a day for 38 days. That is REASONABLE (am I trying to convince myself or someone else, lol?) and DO ABLE.
4. Get those 8 glasses of h2O in every single stinking day!
5. Do my stretching. I am so bad about this it's not funny. I should probably put it up even higher priority than my cardio in fact...or at least same priority, or my back is going to get me again.
6. Get control of my money!! Lousy time of year to try this, lol, but procrastination is not my "do it now" needs to be my motto. Start putting my change away again, start putting $ I earn from private students into savings again instead of using it....
7. Get my sleep and USE my CPAP. Period.

There could be a lot more, but these are all relatively simple things and well-rounded goals instead of that all consuming single goal of "lose weight!"

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    That sounds like a great plan. And you sound so much like me. It seems like when I'm not paying attention to what I eat that I'm not paying attention to the rest of my life either (skin, nails, finances, house, etc.). It all comes down to valuing ourselves enough to take care of ourselves.

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BIBBEA 11/23/2007 6:49PM

    Well done Sahara!! I enjoyed reading your blog and I hope you achieve all your goals. I am going to take a leaf from your book and try to do something myself before Christmas. I was incline to say to myself that it was not worth while this year but fater reading your blog you have motivated me. Thank you !!

I hope everything works out for you. Keep me posted.


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READYCANADIAN 11/23/2007 10:16AM

    Those all sound very do-able. Keep at it! One day at a time...

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HUSKY_HANK 11/23/2007 10:08AM

    Way to put your goals gown in writing so you can be accountable. Good luck!

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A better place....

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Today, I think I'm finally working from a better place emotionally. Whew...what a relief to wake up and feel like I can deal with what life throws out instead of waking up and wanting to cry at the blink of an eye!

Wanting to make tomorrow a very laid back, fun day...hoping it turns out that way. Regardless, I have control of how I REACT to it, don't I??

What am I thankful for this year?
My kids...
My partner...
My job....and the $1 raise I got yesterday, whoo hoo!
Dance and the amazing women it brings into my life...

Lots to be grateful for!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

READYCANADIAN 11/21/2007 2:01PM

    Congrats on the raise and for feeling better about things.

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Happy Holidays.....

Monday, November 19, 2007

This post may be TMI....if you are reading for happy may not find what you're looking for here. I'm working through my "stuff"...enter at your own risk. :)

I've a friend I've known since I was about 16. We both had pretty messed up childhoods and the holidays are hard for both of us. About this time of year...we call each other a lot. Sometimes, I'll get a voice mail of just her singing.... "happy holidays....happy holidays..." It's good to have an old friend. Someone who lived through your sh*t with you... who knows on a cellular level exactly where you are and what pushes your buttons.

The holidays push my buttons in a big way. Totally a love/hate relationship. While many, many other children have or had it worse than I did, my family was messed mom was untreated with schizo-affective disorder and handed me over to my step dad to molest in return for a paycheck and a nice home. The holidays were...hell.

Why am I putting this out on the internet? Definitely not for sympathy. I survived it and I am one hell of a strong woman today. I don't want or need sympathy - but I do need to get a handle on the WHYs of my 100+ weight gain over the course of my lifetime, and be honest with myself about the reasons I got here.

The next month is a time when I have repeatedly gorged myself to death to get through it. How can this year be DIFFERENT? How do I lay my demons to rest...or at least live in the same room with them without trying to kill myself with food the next month? I can...

Be really, really active on SparkPeople...keep making connection with people and keep on top of what I'm eating and what I'm doing to move.

Be kind to myself....let go of the perfectionism that dogs me and simply enjoy the things I LOVE about the holidays...the music, the lights....

Vent in my written journal when I am overwhelmed with flash backs and emotions that make me want to hide in food.

Get enough rest and REAL nutrition to keep me healthy and strong through it.

Happy I come, for better or worse.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

READYCANADIAN 11/19/2007 11:28AM

    I applaude your courage. You can and will do this! One day at a time...

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Not a failure, but 15 days of success!!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

One of my goals this month is to stay in the top 20 for points in my favorite team, the Lesbian Cafe. This was not a easy goal...these women are ON it - they work hard and their points are amazing to show for it. I fell to below the 20th mark yesterday.

While an old part of me (the willing to give up so easy part!) only sees the failure, a newer more resolved part of me sees, 15 days of success!! In fact, had I not been ill last week, then ill AGAIN this week with a secondary infection, I am pretty confident I would have made it through the month. I may still get back up into the above 20 range and that's awesome, and I'm not going to quit trying now.

I've already decided next month I'd like to be in the top 15 - and I feel good about it!!'s Saturday, and I have to work since I missed so much :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HUSKY_HANK 11/17/2007 12:39PM

    That is awesome. It is really hard to stay in the top 20. Way to go!

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