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I feel good...

Thursday, November 29, 2007

So, I wrote this really long post documenting what a really successful week this has been as far as tracking, working out hard enough to break a sweat, blah blah blah....

and when I tried to post it, it disappeared.

Stupid computer.

I'm feeling really good about my program right this minute, and CONSISTENCY is really starting to show, which is good. Guess that sums it all up...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

READYCANADIAN 11/29/2007 2:41PM

    Glad you're feeling good Sahara! Maybe your blog is somewhere with my diet coke syrup - lol.

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HUSKY_HANK 11/29/2007 12:09PM

    I hate it when sp eats my blogs.

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And then, I started eating....

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

woo boy. I just tracked the rest of my food for yesterday and it's really not pretty. Close to DOUBLE my calorie range.

I got triggered, I knew it and I just could not stop. The only good thing I can say is, at least it wasn't just handfuls of candy or whatever, it was dinner.

We're sitting at the table and we have a ritual of everyone saying what was the best part of their day and what was the worst. We get to my 11 yo son Mike, who has been having problems with anger management etc. He says the worst part of the day was when his "ex friend Jeremy blah blah blah"

I said, "why ex-friend? You and Jeremy get into an arguement?" I sort of expected it to be something along the lines of arguing about something Star Wars, lol. Mike is a SW NERDand if his friend wants to pretend something happened that didn't in the movies, well...he will get bent out of shape..it's happened before and that's what I expected...but no....

He says, "He said he's not my friend anymore. He figured out you were gay and he doesn't want to be my friend anymore".

Apparently, since Jodie was working nights and sleeping days, the few times Jeremy came over and heard about "Jodie" he assumed it was a man. He came over last week and met Jodie...and figured out Jodie is not a man, that in fact, Mike has two moms.

I began to eat....and I could not stop. I talked with him about how he felt about it, that part of it went okay...but I could not stop eating. Hurt me all you want....don't hurt my kid. :(

On a happier note, I realize I've been the most active on SP this month than I've ever been and that makes me really happy. It's a new day.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NESEAL 11/28/2007 8:20PM

    It's so hard when our children are hurt we want to protect them at any cost to ourselved but in our hearts we know we can't. That realization never gets any easier but, there is balence to that. Maybe we can't shelter them from being hurt but the love, acceptance, and strength we show them gives them what they need to move beyond their pain and disappointment. I am truely sorry he had to experience that...sometimes the world can just be plain stupid & cruel.

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READYCANADIAN 11/28/2007 1:29PM

    Poor little guy. Kro's right - Jeremy will become a thing of the past but you'll always be there. Good for you for being so active. One day at a time - you will do this :)

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KRO-BAR 11/28/2007 12:51PM

    Good for you for getting on to spark and logging it all in. It might help for future triggers? Your son will eventually forget his stupid friend Jeremy but will remember how strong his mom was to make a life change to get healthier!

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MEACASE2001 11/28/2007 12:43PM

    Yes, it is a new day! I am sure it did hurt knowing your son was hurt. I am sorry about that. Kids can be so cruel...

Hang in there - and you will do just fine!

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34 days left...

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Till 2008. I feel very good about yesterday...I tracked every bite I ate, even the 4 Hershey's kisses....usually...well, let's not talk about how I would have dealt with the kisses. By writing it down, I ate exactly what I wrote...rather than "sneaking" one, then 2...then 35. I wrote I would eat 4, I took 4 from the bag, got my book, went to bed..when the 4 were gone, turned out the light and went to sleep. Small victory, but a satisfying one.

I did strength and a good hour plus of cardio...we had dance rehersal and the sweat was running off me...and it felt great...sort of what I imagine runner's high is like...

We worked hard...and it all came together...I felt like jumping up and down I was happy. I started this troupe several years ago. I got a lot of flak about stuff..."that's too hard!!" "make it easier" and gradually...my dreams for it wilted. People have cycled in and out tho...and right now, I have a team of women who WORK for it..who WANT to do the hard stuff...who WANT to travel and compete...and I'm very happy. That translates into wanting to be in better shape and increase my stamina more...and today, I feel pretty good about the journey.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STHRNSHUTTERBUG 11/27/2007 9:38PM

    That is great that you're keeping your goals. And a good tip on the chocolates. I'm the same way about snacking, whatever it is, i start out saying well, just one...and it ends up the whole bag. I'm gonna try your trick!

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SUSIEQ911 11/27/2007 7:05PM

    Great job!

I need to get back to doing that too!

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HUSKY_HANK 11/27/2007 12:47PM

    Good job on tracking EVERYTHING!

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Monday, Monday....

Monday, November 26, 2007

Ow. You know, that resistance band video seems so easy...but boy can I feel it the next day.

Keeping myself accountable, what have I done over the weekend on my quest to make the last few days of 2007 COUNT:
Saturday - Resistance band video, 20+ minutes going over the combos on the new bellydance video again and again and .... again...trying to get them right.
Sunday - 20+ minutes working on a different video, teaching 3 hours of dance class.

Joined the Just Do It team....made just for me I think, lol, to help be accountable every day....especially while waiting for the next LC challenge to come around. I feel like I wasn't as involved in the last one....being sick sort of took the wind outta my sails....

Really working on DOING it rather than just thinking about it...and being content to start where I am...It's so easy to get tangled up in where I THINK I should be...starting right here is good enough. Period.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEEBERRI 11/26/2007 10:28PM

    I also have a hard time with being motivated,..maybe I need to join that group too! hehe thanks for your welcomeeeeeeee,..*hugs* ~Dee

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READYCANADIAN 11/26/2007 10:19AM

    I look forward to your (daily) blogs...they speak to me. And motivate me. I'd be interested in knowing what the name of the resistance band DVD is.... :o)

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Making the most of the end of the year

Friday, November 23, 2007

There are 38 days left of 2007. I COULD beat myself up over all the things I didn't accomplish...or I could make the most of every day left, and that's what I'm going to do!

I can do ANYTHING for 38 days, right???? Right!

Here goes the list...what I get done, I get done, what I don't, there's always next year!

1. Take better care of my skin. I focus so much on my weight, that I often neglet taking basic care of stuff like this...and then I look in the mirror and wonder where that "old looking" lady came from!
2. Establish better routines with my meds...I feel better, I function better. Nuff said.
3. Work on building more cardio into my day, so I can increase my stamina for dancing. So...to be specific...20 minutes of cardio a day for 38 days. That is REASONABLE (am I trying to convince myself or someone else, lol?) and DO ABLE.
4. Get those 8 glasses of h2O in every single stinking day!
5. Do my stretching. I am so bad about this it's not funny. I should probably put it up even higher priority than my cardio in fact...or at least same priority, or my back is going to get me again.
6. Get control of my money!! Lousy time of year to try this, lol, but procrastination is not my friend...so "do it now" needs to be my motto. Start putting my change away again, start putting $ I earn from private students into savings again instead of using it....
7. Get my sleep and USE my CPAP. Period.

There could be a lot more, but these are all relatively simple things and well-rounded goals instead of that all consuming single goal of "lose weight!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOUTHERNORGANIC 11/24/2007 2:02PM

    That sounds like a great plan. And you sound so much like me. It seems like when I'm not paying attention to what I eat that I'm not paying attention to the rest of my life either (skin, nails, finances, house, etc.). It all comes down to valuing ourselves enough to take care of ourselves.

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BIBBEA 11/23/2007 6:49PM

    Well done Sahara!! I enjoyed reading your blog and I hope you achieve all your goals. I am going to take a leaf from your book and try to do something myself before Christmas. I was incline to say to myself that it was not worth while this year but fater reading your blog you have motivated me. Thank you !!

I hope everything works out for you. Keep me posted.

Bea

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READYCANADIAN 11/23/2007 10:16AM

    Those all sound very do-able. Keep at it! One day at a time...

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HUSKY_HANK 11/23/2007 10:08AM

    Way to put your goals gown in writing so you can be accountable. Good luck!

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