Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Yesterday was not the best-ever day, but probably the hardest since I started eating primal last week of December.
It was a day well I fell headlong into my sugar addiction and ended with me wanting to eat everything in the house.
See, we have this cookie jar in the breakroom. Every once in awhile, human resources will fill it with candy from costco - fun size candy bars. Since Christmas, the jar has been empty and pushed back. Yesterday when i went to my break....the jar had been moved front and center and I knew it meant there was candy in it.
I said to myself, one piece of candy isn't going to wreck things and I had one.
That, dear friends, was the mistake. As soon as the sugar melted in my mouth, I wanted MORE. I mean....like a crack addict who only got a taste wants more. In the 15 minute break, I'm horrified to tell you....I couldn't stop. Literally I could not stop.
Afterward, I felt sick (literally!) and the rest of the day felt jittery, anxious, and uncomfortable in my skin. I ate a primal dinner....but could not stop wanting to eat more. It wasn't hunger...my mouth wanted to eat even tho my stomach was full.
All in all, a very sad day for my program. The realization that I joke about my sugar addiction, but BOY, it's no laughing matter. That I'm back to square one because I can already tell this a.m. that I'm craving it.
But the relief in all of it is, I CAN start again. I can make today sugar-free - as long as I avoid those cravings.
There was a moment of horror, there in the break room, when I reached for a second piece of candy...and then a third...I couldn't stop. I couldn't walk away. The sleeping dragon of my addiction to sugar woke up and it wanted MORE. I didn't like the feeling of being out of control.
In the past, a binge like that would have sent me spiraling down into the food with self talk like "well you blew it yesterday, you obviously can't do this" or "you were just meant to be fat, stop fighting it".
But that's not today. I'm not going to allow those demons to whisper in my ear. I slipped and I fell, right into the mud. But today, I've showered off that mud and I'm moving forward.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
I used to make mention to my son's teachers of how much he needed routine. Without a schedule, or knowing what was going to happen and when, he didn't do so great.
I believe I have an idea where that came from.....his mother.
During the week, when there is routine, I am good. I follow my eating plan pretty well, I exercise, I go to bed at a reasonable time.
The weekend? off track in my food, exercise and sleeping.
I remind myself that it's what you do MOST of the time, not some of the time. But still.....
Good things to come out of the weekend? While cold, it was nice enough to take the dog out both days for a good 20 min walk. Good for the dog, and good for the dog's people!
A learning experience out of the weekend? I am not prepared to walk away from the chocolate. A half bag of dark chocolate pieces ended up coming home with me Saturday from an event. I could not leave them alone. They are all gone now. They shouldn't be, but they are.
Note to self, step away from the chocolate.
In other more positive news, I've pulled out the Wii Fit and have been adding that in a good 5-6 days a week. I like the scale on it, LOL. It says I weigh 236 as opposed to the mean ol' bathroom scales that say I weigh 245. But I'm not naive enough to believe the Wii scale...its' on the carpet, LOL.
Still working on Primal Blue print. I'm getting the food down a little better, but I haven't added in any of the HIIT exercise the PB wants. Right now, I feel pretty lucky to be getting some walks in and play on the wii for 20 min or so a day. I figure I'm injured (knee degeneration, chronic low back, ankle issues, and a knot where the IT band connects on one thigh). Better to walk/exericse a while to get up to a place where I CAN do interval training.
It will all come, right? Right!
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
I changed up my weight loss ticker. I put my starting weight at my heaviest (258). I'm working on weight loss in 5 pound increments, and my next goal is 240. I liked the idea of seeing my total weight loss over time, rather than the way I was doing it.
Today's weigh in: 244. That's -4 pounds since the beginning of the year, and -14 pounds from my heaviest weight in the last couple of years, 258.
Carbs: Kept under 100 the last two days, relatively painlessly too. Noticing I'm not starving all the time, and with hunger more in check it's much easier to not eat constantly. No cravings is helping a LOT. I'm still tracking every bite.
That's it for today, feeling good about what I'm doing and my body is feeling good. Nice change
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Per Sisson's Primal Blueprint, the "sweet spot" for weight loss in terms of carbs is 50-100 gm www.marksdailyapple.com/the-primal-c
During my first 3 weeks of eating Primal...the sweet spot proved elusive. I averaged 153 carbs a day (a level which trends toward weight maintanence). Yesterday was my first day "in the sweet spot", 78 carbs. Since late last week, I'm also noticing I have a LOT less hunger and this is definitely helping me keep those carbs in check.
As expected when I had that 7 pound loss last week, some of it didn't stay off. I fully expected it, and I'm okay with it. I was stuck at 248 for three-four weeks, I lost 7 (put me at 241) and at today's "official" weigh in, I was 245. That actually is great as far as I'm concerned! That's a 3 pound total loss in....four weeks.
Yeee haw, breaking the speed barrier there for sure, LOL. I knew going into this it would be slow. I'm okay with it. :) Considering that's 13 pounds down from my heaviest last year, I'm cool with it.
Here's to another day, keeping on keeping on.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Here we are, day one of the Primal Blueprint 21-day Challenge hosted by the Primal Lifestyle team.
Not sure where I am weight wise. It has been all over the last week. Down 7 (wha?), up 5, down 2, up 3. I haven't measured in awhile, and that's scheduled. Tomorrow (Tuesday) is what I think of as my "official" weigh in day, so we'll wait to see what the scale says until then.
I'm working it. At 27 carbs/474 calories so far -likely because I haven't been terribly hungry today AND I've been trying to wait to eat until my stomach growls a little. I'm so in the HABIT of eating. It's "time" to eat, so I eat, whether I'm hungry or not.
I'm trying to break that. If you aren't hungry...why are you eating? Am I afraid there might not be food later? (no). Is it a habit? (probably). Am I bored and eating gives me something to focus on? (probably).
The breaking of the french vanilla creamer habit has been so-so. Has it been 100% eliminated? Not yet. I have had days with out it, and I have had days with half the amount I used to use.
It's one big learning curve, this learning to eat primal/paleo/low carb whatever it is. I spoke with someone in the breakroom today who is on day 1 of their Medifast program. It only reinforced for me...I'm not doing that ever again. Kudos to him, good luck to him, whatever, but I'm not doing it.
So what's going right on this first day of the challenge (besides still having carbs/calories left to eat today, lol?)
* Used CPAP/Ambien last night and had good sleep.
* Feel good - no afternoon sleepiness/eating to stay awake.
* No cravings - despite the fact that this weekend I ate wheat and sugar (sometimes it happens- life. Figured it fell into the 20% of follow it as best you can 80% of time and don't freak out about one meal in a week).
That's it. Happy Monday!
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