Monday, January 21, 2008
Hmm, I've not posted as regularly as I'd commited to...here's to fixing that this week!
I've realized something about myself...not necessarily a pleasant something either.
I will go to great lengths to avoid exercise. Procrastination...rationalization...just plain laziness to boot. I tell myself I'll do it tomorrow, or later...or whatever. I dislike it and I avoid it.
Hence I weigh 244 pounds at 5'. Not a great ratio there.
So, I'm working on it. One of the things I started may sound silly, but you know, whatever works...I bought some rainbow holographic star stickers. For every 30 minutes I do cardio, I get a sticker. It's amazing how happy and proud a 43 year old woman can get looking at her accumulated star stickers, lol. When I don't exercise for a couple days...those boxes on the calender are empty and they SHOW me...I haven't been exercising again.
Hey, if it works, I'll do it.
I seem to be losing a pound a week. Not the most impressive in sheer numbers, but hey if I could do that for a year, I'd be in Onederland! That would be awesome. So...I'll take my pound loss this week and be happy with it.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Not a whole lot to report.
Struggled with late night munchies last night - first time that has happened in awhile. Had an extra 10 cal jello snack then told myself that's it, no more and stuck to it, tho it was not as easy as I wish.
Wanted to get on the scale, but decided in the end, I'm not feeling so secure and if it showed any kind of gain, I'd flip, so I just didn't get on it.
Watched BL last night, and when Jillian was talking to the daughter on the pink team about resolving her stuff with her mom...or she would eventually just put the weight right back on...it depressed the crap out of me. I will never have the opportunity to resolve stuff with my mom, her dementia is too far advanced. When I get really to a place of needing to try to work on my stuff, I write her a letter which I then just destroy, and it does help...it's just not a permanent resolution apparently.
The emotional crap underneath all my weight...the addiction to sugar....sometimes it seems insurmountable. I'm working on TODAY...sometimes just the minute I'm in...and that's all I can do. Make better choices, today, right now. Plan ahead and have the healthy food available and keep working out. Every little bit DOES count, it doesn't have to be perfect, I just have to DO it.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
I'm a week down in my journey to getting more fit before my trip to Rakkasah. What worked (or didn't work) this week?
1. I lost a pound. Finally. It sure takes a lot more effort to lose a pound than it did when I was younger.
2. I've cut my sugar down by 3/4, by my best estimates. This is getting a little easier, as long as I keep sugar-free stuff around to eat when the family brings home junk I don't need or coworkers have cake...for the third time in two weeks.
3. I've started eating oatmeal every a.m. For one, waaaay lower in fat than a sausage/egg mcmuffin which used to be my breakfast, and saving me probably $20 a week on top of it. After experimenting, I realized one serving (packet if at work, "real" oatmeal if at home) was not cutting it, so I went to 2 packets of the lower sugar or weight control oatmeal at work, and the "heart healthy" serving (basically 1.5 servings) of old fashioned at home. This really cut my midmorning munchies down to nothing. Not overly excited about the "weight control" oatmeal from Quaker...sorta nasty tasting if you want the truth.
4. Again, in the eating more seems to be better, I've switched from a 6" sub plus baked chips to a footlong sub, no mayo - just fat free honey mustard and no chips for lunch, again really cutting the afternoon munchies. Seems to be working. It's also the only bread I'm having a day, and that seems to be helping. Once I get started on the rolls, or the garlic bread...well, I can't seem to stop, so this is a good ting.
5. Workouts not happening as consistently as I would like, tho better than before the new year at that.
Lastly, I'm relieved to report the Biggest Loser Club DID refund the $59.95 when I explained I THOUGHT I was signing up for the $19.95 NOT the $59.95. Kudos to them for their customer service.
HOWEVER, I'm not signing up for it again. AFter seeing what is on there...it is not anything better than Spark at all, which I get for FREE. Others may find it helpful, it didn't "do it" for me.
I've been off the LC board almost entirely, too much work - no time. Feel like I'm missing out on the challenge completely, tho I have been trying to keep in contact with coach/coachee.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Boy Howdy. I'm happy it's Friday! What a week...Partner wrecked the car - she wasn't hurt but it sure was (to the tune of $500 I didn't have), one car and one person working nights and the other days got ugly. Just a stinkin' long week.
My exercise is not where I want it, period. Part of that is flat exhaustion. Either I would have jodie take the car and be trapped at home with no car (which makes me crazy) or get up at 12 and go get her. Even on the nights I stayed home, I'm not used to her working nights again and I didn't get to sleep well. I've gotten an average of 4-5 hours a night sleep, and that is not good enough. My car came out of the shop last night, so that will be one hurdle down - so next week's goals have to include at LEAST 6 hours of sleep a night so I can muster the energy to get up and exercise.
One thing I can say on reflecting on this past week, I've cut my sugar consumption at LEAST by half. The only "obvious" sugar is my morning coffee, limited to 2 cups with a 2 tsp each. No other sugar added, no candy, no apple pies from McDs, no ice cream. All week. I kept sugar-free jello on hand at work and home for the sweet tooth and that really sufficed. At night, my biggest sugar attack time, I "treated" myself to cool whip lite on my jello. Not sugar free, but a good start at reducing fat/sugar in regular cool whip and it made me FEEL like I was getting a huge treat, so the emotional boost was well worth it.
I sneaked on the scale wednesday and had lost nothing...and immediately my mind started its chatter about this is too hard and blah blah and I said...
SHUT UP. WE'RE DOING THIS.
Actually, seemed to work pretty well. I should tell myself to shut up more often, lol.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
I am so annoyed at myself I cannot stand it.
Becoming a fan of Biggest Loser, I checked out their website. Of course, you can't see anything unless you join...I read it carefully, and decided, what the hell? For $19.95 for one month I can check it out and see what it's about. I could blow $20 at the yarn store or wherever in a heart beat so, why not?
Firstly, I SWEAR I checked the ONE month subscription...but when the receipt came up, it was for THREE months, a $59 total. I SWEAR I read and understood one month, not three.
SEcondly, it's certainly no better than SP....so I see I've plunked down $60 dollars (that's a lot of yarn dammit) for something I get BETTER for free. I've written their help department to ask if I can get it down to what I THOUGHT I was asking for...but who knows.
THat's what I get for thinking the grass might be greener on the other side. I love spark...but I was tempted and now I'm really MAD at myself. grrrrr.
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